“I hated every minute of training, but I said, ‘Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.”–Muhammad Ali
Fight Through Even When you think you Cannot.
Many days are like training. I hate every minute, but I keep pushing through. Following God on my mind, but not really feeling him present. Life can kick you in the gut, we can choose to fall apart or just keep moving.
Keeping moving somedays takes every ounce of my strength. As I am sure to not be the only person on this earth that struggles through. Let us say that most of us are kindred souls when it comes to living life.
Do not stall when life just seems like “really” can’t catch a damn break! Scream if you have to but say “I am NOT LOSING this time.” Fight, fight, and fight through, you can do it. I do it most days you can too.
Tell the enemy NOT today asshole, you don’t get the satisfaction of bringing me down. Do this even if you don’t see hope. Fly on blind faith but fly. The reason that I am writing this article is today I am operating on blind faith. Many things have fallen apart, but I know that it’s a temporary problem.
The problem is I don’t believe that statement this moment, but what the hell else can I do but to keep moving forward. I can stop saying F’it. What would that do but make things worse!
So if I can do this, so shall you! We all get hit with life that hurts. Instead of giving up work through it even when your mind and body are fighting you.
When you examine how your life is working day-to-day. It’s essential to think about what is adding stress to your life. Could it be fixed by merely setting boundaries?
The answer to that is yes!
It’s okay to set boundaries in relationships, with children little or grown. When we set expectations for what is acceptable in our lives and what is not, it’s incredible how much easier life becomes.
Work can also be a place where clear boundaries need to be set.
This change, however, most likely won’t come without some resistance. Here is a checklist to help with that conversation:
Set clear and easy to understand boundaries. If you need to write them out, do so. Just make sure that whoever is on the receiving end understands clearly.
Over a reason why you need this boundary. Explain the stress that it brings.
Don’t get upset if it takes a bit of time for the behavior to change.
Let the person know you’re not mad, it’s just bringing undue stress into your life.
With just a little conversation, we can set the stage for acceptable behavior.
If you struggle setting boundaries for family, friends, or coworkers. Take time to write out your thoughts on how this relationship could be a two-way street. Don’t just jump in without some real thought.
Sleep on your results reread them. If satisfied, sit down with the person and have a friendly chat. Set expectations and lay them out.
You don’t have to live at someone’s Becken call 24/7/365. Figure what you need to not have stress, put it out there and then hold that person or person’s accountable. It’s not unreasonable by any standard.
“Your past does NOT define your future.” This will become very clear as the story moves forward. Are you ready for a change? If so, then welcome.
It doesn’t matter whether you are male or female. Either side can be on the receiving end of a toxic relationship. The article is written to both genders.
When you dwell into the past then thoughts of “I’m not worthy” “I’m worthless” will stop you in your tracks. It’s time to get our thinking into a healthy mindset; it’s time to smile again.
We really do this when it comes to letting go of relationships. Looking in that rearview mirror for clues. Answers that may never happen. It’s challenging to let go of contacts when we don’t understand fully why they ended or must end because it’s toxic.
Sometimes we’re in toxic relationships that it’s necessary for us to move on for our own sanity. Sadly, in this type of relationship, we get ourselves beaten down to the point that toxic behavior is allowed and accepted from ourselves. For some, the connection itself means more than our own serenity.
Allowing ones’ self to fall prey to this type of relationship is far more comfortable than what you might think. We convince ourselves that this person will change, or something about ourselves we can change that will make our toxic partner love us.
The first thing doesn’t believe you have no options. For example, a housewife with young children no family close, and the list goes on. So, acceptance becomes easier than facing the pain. This life is not your portrayal of a doormat. “Woo-Hoo I landed the part of a lifetime Doormat!” Not only NO but heck NO!
What now seems like a no-way-out scenario. Is temporary if you make it so.
This story will help:
Let’s pretend for a moment that the relationship of our dreams is at the top of a vast mountain we must climb to the summit to live happily-ever-after. Stay with me, I know it sounds cheesy.
Our emotions are so heavy for the beautiful relationship we have to carry them in a backpack. So we load love, passion, desire, tranquility, and fulfillment into our pack. This is a lot of heavy emotions we’re carrying up the hill. The good news, for now, is that it all fits and we can carry it. The summit does not seem so far away.
Now comes our partner who has a few things we need to carry for them. These toxic emotions are incredibly dense.
Abuse both physical and mental (If physical violence is a part of your life, reach out for professional help, contact your local law enforcement. Protection and assistance are a phone call away)
So as the relationship begins “your hike up the hill,” the emotions mentioned above get stuffed in your backpack. Not all at once mind you but slowly as you ascend to the summit. With each step, the pack becomes more burdensome, and your ability to combat these new emotions diminishes due to mental fatigue.
Until finally you just fall from exhaustion from the toxic emotional weight of the pack.
This becomes a dark place where we just see no light. The trail becomes so obscure we’re not able to see any hope (light at the end of the path to guide us). If you’re in this place, breathe! We’re getting ready to turn on the light to guide your way. Hope exists.
So what happens now? The answer is the flashlight that is in the bottom of your backpack that is now stuffed so tightly you cannot reach inside to get it. You’re going to have to unload the pack enough to get to the light. The flashlight holds the key to lighting your way.
Here are some simple steps bringing light to start now:
Take a moment and breathe, yes breathe. Find a place that you can take a couple of minutes to just breathe. Take a couple of deep cleansing breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth. Then just breathe for at least one minute. Relax your body. Relaxed clear mind!
Start walking every day. Do this for a couple of reasons. One you need strength, two you have an opportunity to clear your
Learning to make your mind, relax your body. Power comes from within when you can harness that strength, see yourself while meditating towards that which you truly desire.
Accept that YOU are allowed to be happy. Allowed to have the life you want. Your current situation is not a sentence.
Educate yourself with suitable material. Apply what you learn to gain strength and enlightenment. Make an investment in your own happiness.
Would you like to know what the good news is? Five new negative emotions were added to your backpack. You now have five steps that have helped you remove enough garbage out of your pack so that now the flashlight that guides your way is within reach in your bag.
Now, let’s finish our climb.
With a lighter pack and light to see the trail. You can stand up and finish the journey. Toxic relationships are not anyone’s destiny. Getting out of it may have some pain that must be endured. Our steps outlined help you develop the strength to take the strain.
With your lighter pack and flashlight in hand begin your walk. The summit is now is starting to come apparent from the fog that WAS your life. Practice every day, these simple steps, and you will be amazed at how quickly your emotional strength will recover.
See yourself at the top of the mountain. Now we need to add a little to what happens when we get to the top of our mountain.
At the top of the mountain, the summit, the pinnacle of your happiness. From this vantage point, you see, happiness, love, joy, and freedom to live the life you dreamt of. With the strength to say what is acceptable and what is NOT acceptable in your life experience.
We all may enjoy a life filled with trials and tribulations, but those trials are not acceptable when induced by someone that professes to love us.
You now have the tools to begin the journey. Remember, you’re not alone, and you are worthy of happiness.
Pastoral Counseling (reach out to a local Church that offers Pastoral Care) Marriage Counseling (many centers work on a sliding scale for payment)
“The starting point of all achievement is desire.” Napoleon Hill
The sad thing about desire very few have it or understand it’s real meaning. Most people say that have a desire to do this or that, but in reality, they’re not willing to dig in to achieve it. That’s the real difference between hope and wish. You can wish to do something those with desire actually do it!
Desire is a passion you must fill your being with. It’s not something you learn; it’s something you have. If you don’t feel it in your soul then maybe you need to rethink what it is you’re doing.
Should fill your soul
Should get you up in the morning
Should be unwavering
Should be without fear
Should drive your every waking moment
What do you desire?
Peace & Contentment
Then what are you doing? If you aren’t up every day with a sense of desire to achieve life on your terms, then really what are you doing? Lots to think about is it not?
Do not confuse desire with a wish. “I want success” is a wish, a passion drives you to do something about it.
This book will touch a lot on it takes work to achieve anything you truly want. It does just not come to you, the success that is. Anyone married for over a decade will tell you a good marriage takes work.
We will use this statement throughout the book:
If money and time are not the roadblocks in our way, what do you want?
To find our genuine desire, you must have a passion for what it is you want to do. So if no roadblocks existed, what you would be doing in your life?
What I would like for you to do is to do a few things to define what you would like to be successful at and then we will find our desire. We’re going to find one thing that we can do NOW to find success in one part or all of our life. Change is eminent in this exercise!
Find a place where you can feel inspired. Park, pond, river, mountain, backyard, wherever you find peace and solitude. Clear out your head and identify what you would like to do. What will bring success to you?
Have a notepad and pen. Write your thoughts out. Again don’t sabotage it with I will “never be able to afford this,” “I am not smart enough,” blah, blah, blah…
Take as much time as you need. Don’t procrastinate, if you need a day to work this out take it but don’t get off task!!! Now go.
For most of us, this is a hard task. We’re so used to dismissing dreams it’s hard to imagine achieving one. So lovely job completing this task!
So you have your WHAT, that thing that defines success for you. This is the one thing where you should begin to feel desire.
The dictionary defines desire as
Along for, hope for. Noun
You should feel this in your very core.
Okay, so we have a lot more to cover. Most of you are saying now what?
“Prayer is man’s greatest power!” –W. Clement Stone
This bright light of God, Mattie, while on this earth stood for what I call “the true life.”
“It doesn’t matter how you pray. Pray. All religions are beautiful, and they all have one common belief. There’s something bigger and greater than us that can give us and take from us life. It is better than the here and now.” — Mattie Stepanek
One of my first questions. How do you talk to God and will he listen? Yes, he hears when you pray earnestly. What I mean by that is open and honest. Ask before it is given, in our lives we as humans say, “I will believe it when I see it.” God is the opposite!
Here are some cool things. You can talk to God anytime you want. Most of us speak directly to God when we’ve messed up. “Oh God please save me.” The good news is you can pray formally on bended knee, or you can talk to God on your way to work in the car.
Here is the biggest thing you should remember when you pray: “Don’t Beg!” God knows your situation and does not need you to beg. He has already forgiven you. For example, God thank you for the restoration of my relationship with ______. God bless you for my healing, my body is better (even if you’re still sick). Thank him for what you want to have as though you have it already.
When you study your bible, you will learn that God has already given you an abundant, health-filled life. We must receive it through faith.
One thing I have found very useful. I lay down on my bed at night. Put headphones on and find meditation music that relaxes me. As I listen to the music, I close my eyes and imagine myself in the presence of God. I begin to thank him for blessing my life with abundance, financial blessings, health and joy in my life.
When I do this visualization, it helps me to feel my prayers are powerful. That I see myself during meditation. I see myself happy with my children. I see my boss handing me a big bonus check. I see me laughing and happy. Most importantly I see me standing with Jesus, standing in heaven with my lord. Peaceful, happy and full of all the love I could ever ask.
When you see your prayers in that light, it’s already yours. Then God will begin to move things in your life, so it is a reality. It won’t happen overnight, don’t have unrealistic expectations. Know that God is providing what you see in your prayers as though they are already yours. If you see yourself on top of Mount Everest, then have faith God will put you there if its Gods Work for you.
God will provide all the promises in the Bible that are yours. Through prayer that you give God thanks for already providing your answers. The answers will come. Patience will be the next chapter, but this is where patience comes in.
People also ask me does God hear better when I pray at Church or a holy place. God hears all prayers no matter where you stand. If you come to God with a humble, loving heart, God hears you loud and clear.
Another question I get all the time. How many times do I need to pray for a specific thing? Ask yourself this question, if someone keeps asking you the same question repeatedly what would you do? God is an intelligent soul so I would imagine with confidence that once you confess it to God, he has it.
In prayer, you need to confess to God your sins. If you want forgiveness, then you need to come clean with God. Prayer for me had a real cleansing feeling for me. When you ask for forgiveness, then accept it because you already have his mercy.
Prayer is like getting a new job. When you take the role it’s on the promise of pay; you must do the work first before you get paid. The easiest way for me to understand how prayer works. I had to do the job before God would begin to bless me.
Which stands to reason, something for nothing is always nothing. Earnestly, seek God’s promises in the Bible in prayer. The good news is, it’s everything you need and then some! Words without action are just that words. Faith is action.