How to start a civil conversation when you and your spouse, significant other, are fighting to the point you can’t say a nice word. This takes both you coming to the table as a cease-fire.
This is a fantastic way to have a civil conversation. What our goal will be is to talk without fighting. If you can begin a civil discourse, then you can start to find healing words and a way back to happiness.
For this, to work, you have to both agree to NOT talk about your fight. This is a total cease-fire of all ugliness! Each must come with an open heart.
- Make a time where you can sit down totally uninterrupted. No alcohol, no wine, just coffee or a soda. The two of you ONLY. Kids need to-go-to grandmas.
- Each of you agrees with no curse words.
- Rock, paper, scissors to see who talks first. Best two out of three if needed.
So what is the conversation going to be?
Give this some thought before you sit down. Assuming you are agreed.
Pick something about your life that your partner does not really know about you. The story can be about anything except for a topic that Segways into your argument.
The whole point of this is to talk about something that allows the two of you to communicate! Each takes a turn in telling a story, having a conversation that is merely the two of you talking.
If you’ve completed this, we have one more exercise.
What made you fall in love with each other? Have a conversation about what makes you happy together.
If you can do these two things then perhaps what you’re arguing about is not that big a deal. Sometimes, we just need to talk civilly and then remember why we love one another.
As the title would suggest getting rid of frustration, well easier said than done. The good news it’s possible to condition ourselves to at least shake it off quicker.
Frustration can if we allow it to be debilitating to some and stifling to others. We all get frustrated with work problems, relationship problems, and life in general. Our lives are moving as quickly forward as we would like for example.
Here are a few simple tasks to be done that can help relieve frustration:
- Take a minute or two several times a day to just breathe. A couple of deep cleansing breaths. A minute or so of just breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth. Relax.
- Whatever it is that frustrates you write down what the outcome you would like to have to overcome the frustration. Then focus on that. Put this up like an affirmation everywhere you can. The result, not the problem!
- When appropriate talk it out. Get someone you respect to offer a new perspective. You don’t necessarily have to agree, but you can see that alternatives do exist.
- Get out and walk. Clear your head. Go somewhere where you can take in beautiful trees, nature, or just a place that you find calming. Enjoy a calming walk, focus on what’s around you soak up the environment. Leave your woe’s in the car.
- Turn the frustration on its head. Look at what’s happening as a game challenge. To get to the next level, you have to concur where you are. Look for solutions vs. focusing on the frustration itself.
Nothing hard about these few things that you can do to help you overcome frustration. Focus your attention on the end result of where you would like to be. The path to get their will come clear as you believe for the outcome you desire.
Open your heart to possibility. Even if the outcome is not what you desire. Look at the bigger picture, perhaps God is clearing this out to make room for what your destiny indeed is. Sometimes, we must let go of toxic situations to gain our real promise. Be open in your heart, and this will come clear to you.
Smile, breathe and go take a walk!