Tying it All Together

My latest book on Amazon. Tying it All Together

Don’t you sometimes wish that you could tie everything in your life together? Career, relationships, marriage, and parenting. That all these aspects of your life to harmoniously work. Instead, our lives get fragmented, one minute our job is on top of the world, the next we’re in divorce court. Nothing ever seems to run hitting on all eight cylinders running smooth. The trouble is one part of our life can crater with a trickle down in all other areas of our life.

Chapter 1

I can’t | I don’t have

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.”—Thomas A. Edison

First, we get out of our language anything to do with lack. The “I can’t” or “I don’t have” is not part of the English language of your new life.

Second, nay Sayers are just that. People who can’t do a thing themselves and naturally you can’t either if you listen to that bilge. What you’re now looking for are Mentors, people who uplift you.

Throughout history, people have done things that others said could not be done. Or invented products that folks needed. All the while, naysayers are “It can’t be done.” Horse hockey!

Limiting beliefs placed in our sub-conscious over years of saying I can’t. Also not limited to just that phrase. Years and years of self-defeating language has us convinced we cannot.

Dogpile on top of that, family, friends, managers, whomever, telling you that you don’t have what it takes, you don’t have the education, people who do that are gifted. What? You can teach yourself anything.

Okay, I give. You can’t teach yourself to be a brain surgeon. My point with this statement is I doubt you’re looking to become a brain surgeon, don’t overthink what your ability can or cannot achieve. Start, try, give it a shot, jump, swim, begin is the point!

So, in this chapter, we’re going to start replacing limiting language and thoughts. How you say, well I have an answer for that. Without this step in the process, later in the book, you will have more difficulty if you don’t make the changes now.

What do we have to change:

  1. Replace limiting thoughts with thoughts of okay how do I achieve this (the what is irrelevant at this point).
  2. Be aware of the language, the words that we use. I can’t, is NO longer a word in your mind’s dictionary. Don’t worry; I am going to share how to get rid of this stuff.
  3. Self-defeating actions. Self-sabotage, and worst of all, procrastination.

There is a lot more to the life changes than just the three I listed. You get a general idea.  As we move through chapters, we will cover a great deal more ground.

For many years we teach ourselves unknowingly that we can’t achieve certain things. Limiting beliefs are ingrained in our subconscious mind over the years. Taking time now to change this old habit and create new ones will take work and time.

What I have found that helps me declutter my mind so that I can see myself in a better state-of-mind, meditation. Learning to meditate can get you back in touch with your inner self.

Getting rid of limiting beliefs takes retraining our mind not once to say, “I can’t do that.”
“I don’t have what it takes to achieve this.” In your meditation practice, you begin to see yourself through your mind’s eye in the place you want to be — not just a physical place, but where you see yourself emotionally.

Our brain will tell us to run from something that raises our stress level. It’s like what Marathon runners experience when they hit what is called the wall. That point late in the race where the brain is saying you can’t make another step, stop, your mind is telling you that your legs are injured. Push past this without risk of injury to your body.

Studies that prove it’s the brain talking to you, not physical injury. Pushing through this emotional wall is possible.

This bond your brain has with flight will be hard to break. Meditation is a daily practice. It’s the best way I have found to quiet my mind so I can reprogram my thoughts for growth, not defeat.

Let’s cover a few points on how easy it is to begin to meditate before you start if you have a spouse or partner have them give you a brief shoulder neck massage before beginning your practice — the tension out of your body as much as possible.

“Everything that’s created comes out of silence. Your thoughts emerge from the nothingness of silence. Your words come out of this void. Your very essence emerged from emptiness. All creativity requires some stillness.”—Wayne Dyer

Let’s begin:

  1. Pick a time when you can have thirty minutes to an hour to yourself. With no interruption. My favorite place is my bedroom. I can either sit on the floor with my back to the bed or lay down (don’t fall asleep).
  2. Music playing, outdoor sounds, ocean, rain, can be calming and help you relax. It’s best if you can use headphones. You can find lots of cool stuff on YouTube® that’s commercial free. I find that with headphones, I can concentrate my mind more sharply.
  3. Take several deep cleansing breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth. Helps clear your body and ease tension.
  4. Then with the eye’s closed in a relaxed posture. Breathe. Follow your breathing with your mind, nice slow breaths filling your body with oxygen. It’s good to feel your belly as it moves up and down. Get a rhythm.
  5. Begin to relax your feet, move up your legs into your hips, and let your body go. Breath and relax all the tension out of your body. Just focus for a time on relaxing your body.
  6. As you relax feel yourself floating, imagine your light enough to float on clouds.
  7. When relaxed and breathing rhythmically. Begin to focus your minds-eye towards happiness. See yourself happy. That can take any form you like. Use your imagination to see yourself happy. What is something YOU love to do? What makes you the most comfortable. It could be from childhood or adulthood: no right or wrong way, just a happy place.
  8. Placing your mind there now begin to allow that emotion to fill your body. Feel it from the balls of your feet to the crown of your head. Feel happiness; fill your body. Allow yourself to be in this bliss. Stay as-long-as you like.
  9. As you begin to come out of your meditation, slowly allow your body to unwind, let go of any thought and be in the moment. Open your eye’s and smile.
  10. Begin this process tonight! What you will learn in this book is we act now, not tomorrow! Procrastination is not in our vocabulary anymore. Begin today, please, and thank you.

If you want to make it through times when you will hit the Marathon wall, and it’s like you just got hit by a Mack truck, you must train to overcome what we will have to face as you begin this process.

You will have challenges to be sure. Don’t worry; our emotional training starts here. You will find the strength. So exciting.

Years and years of Garbage is overflowing your mind. This book is a garbage truck.

The “I can’t” do this or that. Who says? 99% of the time you. How do you know if you’re not even willing to try? Saying this to yourself, I can’t is conditioned into your mind so profoundly that you believe whatever your head is telling you. Hard to imagine that we can lie to ourselves unknowingly. It’s packaged to a negative response you accept.

We’ve all heard the story of breaking the four-minute mile. Once achieved, then many athletes now can claim they can run four-minute miles.

“It always seems impossible until it’s done.”—Nelson Mandela 

Twenty years ago, if you would have asked anyone in my family, do you think Robert will write books years from now. They would have laughed until they peed their pants. Not even my friends would have believed this to be true.

Fear is also going to hold you back. We all fear failure. The difference between success and failure is people stop because they get scared. “I have a family I can’t risk failure!” Ask yourself if you have enough money to stand a year-long layoff (heaven forbid) if tomorrow your company said we’re cutting back?

We’re all a paycheck away from disaster most of our lives. So, don’t use this as an excuse.

What if I could show you a way to conquer fear enough to allow you to formulate a plan to save your life, strengthen your family, and will enable you to walk with peace-of-mind. Be great, wouldn’t it?

Okay, follow along.

Everything you’ve learned in life plays it safe; I am going to teach you how to play it smart.

Stop buying the sack of manure you sell yourself every day that you can’t. Get the I’m shy; I’m weak, I’m feeble, get that the hell out of your vocabulary.

How?

Every time you say I can’t, take a rubber band and pop the crap out of your arm.  However, take a moment to say that was the old me, the NEW ME CAN! I can be happy; I can be in shape, I can learn more, I can have a happy marriage, I can have great kids, I can, I can, I can!

If you screw up guess what you’re not alone. Acknowledge, you had a time of weakness but your back. Guess what you can make a mistake and get right back on track. Right now, I want you to stop and run a mile as fast as you can no walking. Could you do it! Probably not is my guess. Could you if you trained for a month or so? Sure.

You’re not going to overcome this the first time. You’re not going to change without practice. Set in your phone reminders that buzz, ding, ring, whatever. Tell yourself to smile, or be strong, put an affirmation as a reminder.

Put all the good in your noodle today that you can plunge into your brain. Guess what we do this over and over. Day after day!

Shy people hello. Man are we going to need to get outside our comfort zone. Fear not time to train. How can we overcome fear?

“People who ask confidently get more than those who are hesitant and uncertain. When you’ve figured out what you want to ask for, do it with certainty, boldness, and confidence. Don’t be shy or feel intimidated by the experience. You may face some unexpected criticism but be prepared for it with confidence.”—Jack Canfield

Here are some fun ideas:

  1. Find social meetups. Places that you can go to a book club, movie review club anywhere that you must socially interact with friendly people. Nice folks won’t eat you I promise.
  2. The best way to get outside yourself is to help someone in need. Can even be an animal shelter. Put yourself in situations where you can gain strength. Social interaction helping someone is a blessing beyond words. Single parents take your kids.
  3. Go to Yoga, meditation classes; take a cooking class.

Finding ways to strengthen our life resolve is just a matter of getting off our butt and doing it. I wish I could say something or give you a pill. My friends, we must work to achieve. Good news, it’s not hard, most of these costs no money.

Through your meditation practice, when you visualize yourself, see yourself healthy, assertive, and happy. Show your subconscious what you want it will manifest for you. Take this to prayer, let God know you no longer say I can’t, or I don’t have.

God will supply abundance in all areas of your life. Keep in mind this is not about starting a business, jobs, or material things. Yes, it’s a part of if you want it to be. This book is teaching you how to have an all-encompassing life. Mind, Body, Soul.

When you find yourself in a difficult situation, go to God in prayer, let him know that you need help, what I do when times in my head get dark. I say, “God has me” over and over. Eventually, I get calm.

In times of stress, let God know you’re not losing anymore. Power your way through. Even if you see no hope at all, hold onto hope with blind faith. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Talking later in the book, we will do an entire chapter on Resources vs. Resourcefulness. When you can master how to be resourceful the I can’t, and I don’t will go straight out the window. Also, strengthen your ability to fend off fear.

Fear manifests when you don’t have a solution. Then your mind starts to say “oh boy we’re going to crash” and away your head goes, and down you go. Think about being able to on command say “I have an app for that” metaphorically speaking.

You can know in your heart that today; an answer does not exist. Give me some time to sort this out and away you go. Having that knowledge to, in a sense, trick your mind into saying “we got this” will give you the inner strength to overcome any obstacle.

Click on the book cover to view on Amazon:

book, eBook, paperback book

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Tying it All Together, Sneak Peek

This is a little sneak peek from the new book I am working on Tying it All Together. So many books out there that fix this or that. As part of the Life Research Project, we begin to pull all of my books into one. 

What was always lacking for me in self-improvement was solving a little piece of the puzzle when I needed a complete life change, total immersion. 

Enjoy this from a current book project Tying it All Together.

self improvement, self help, life

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.”—Thomas A. Edison

First, we get out of our language anything to do with lack. The “I can’t” or “I don’t have” is not part of the English language of your new life.

Second, nay Sayers are just that. People who can’t do a thing themselves and naturally you can’t either if you listen to that bilge. What you’re now looking for are Mentors, people who uplift you.

Throughout history, people have done things that others said could not be done. Or invented things that folks need. All the while, naysayers are “It can’t be done.” Horse hockey!

Limiting beliefs are placed in our sub-conscious over years of saying I can’t. This is also not limited to just that phrase. Years and years of self-defeating language has us convinced we cannot.

Dogpile on top of that, family, friends, managers, whomever, telling you that you don’t have what it takes, you don’t have the education, people who do that are gifted. What? You can teach yourself anything.

Okay, I give. You can’t teach yourself to be a brain surgeon. My point with this statement is I doubt you’re looking to become a brain surgeon, don’t overthink what your ability can or cannot achieve. Start, try, give it a shot, jump, swim, just begin is the point!

So, in this chapter, we’re going to start replacing limiting language and thoughts. How you say, well I have an answer for that. Without this step in the process, later in the book, you will have more difficulty if you don’t make the changes now.

What do we have to change:

  1. Replace limiting thoughts with thoughts of okay how do I achieve this (the what is irrelevant at this point).
  2. Be aware of the language, the words that we use. I can’t, is NO longer a word in your mind’s dictionary. Don’t worry; I am going to share how to get rid of this stuff.
  3. Self-defeating actions. Self-sabotage, and worst of all, procrastination.

There is a lot more to the life changes than just the three I listed. You get a general idea.  As we move through chapters, we will cover a great deal more ground.

For many years we teach ourselves unknowingly that we can’t achieve certain things. Limiting beliefs are ingrained in our subconscious mind over the years. Taking time now to change this old habit and create new ones will take work and time.

Comments or questions:

Are You Ready for Hope

This is my latest eBook. Easy to follow steps to lasting change in your life. Just as the title suggests are you ready? This guide will help you begin a new chapter for your life. Just as I have this is easier than you might think. I help guide you through rocky shoals.

Are You Ready for Hope

A Guide to real change. Steps you can take right now to change your entire life. Easy to follow steps that you can employ right now. For most of us we can find something in our lives we need to change. Perhaps even a full life makeover. Whether it’s one thing or several, this guide will help you make lasting change. This will take work, the strength of mind and commitment. If this cliché is your life; sick and tired of being sick and tired. If this is, you are welcome here. Last year into this year my own life required me to make many changes. It’s taken some education that I want to share this information with you. This will save you lots of time and heartache. Change has many challenges that come with it. Sadly, many will quit before lasting change can occur. Let me guide you through these rocky shoals to your new life. It took me at times through incredibly difficult paths, dark moments and simple trial & error before all this made sense. If you follow what you learn here, I trust it will help you further your efforts changing your own life. It doesn’t matter the reason what is important is the process of change. We will discuss in depth process, actions and results.

$2.99

 

Here is a little from the book:

Where to Begin

Coming to a point in life where the outcome thus far is a disaster. If this is you, welcome. I welcome you to the beginning of your new life. Just reading this won’t bring change about. If you want this, it’s going to take some work.

Before we begin. The importance of this one thing cannot be overstated Patience!

 “Patience is not simply the ability to wait – it’s how we behave while we’re waiting.”—Joyce Meyer

Without patience to allow change to occur you will stifle progress. My mother always told me this “it took you fifty years to break your life, give yourself time to change.” She was totally right as most moms are.

Where failure befalls most is the lack of patience to allow change to occur. We live in the “I want it right now society.” Get that out of your head right now. This is where I stumbled hard. Not allowing the universe to set a new course for my life.

 

When you purchase the eBook you receive a PDF file.

Questions:

The How Is Not as Important as Belief

“Be true to yourself, help others, make each day your masterpiece, make friendship a fine art, drink deeply from good books – especially the Bible, build a shelter against a rainy day, give thanks for your blessings and pray for guidance every day.” — John Wooden

Adversity comes with a sense of “I can’t do that” or “I don’t know how this will ever change.” What changed for me was believing that the how will come if I understand. You can’t merely want something to turn, sit on the couch and wait for it.

Problems can seem to be insurmountable to the point we don’t see how that anything will change. I heard something that resonated with me. If God can put stars in the Universe, he can probably figure out a way to help your issue. All it requires is a belief deep in your heart.

If your problems are financial for example, you cannot just say, God, I need to pay my bills. You still need to go to work and do your part. How many times in your life has something happened that was unexpected out of the blue.  Believe that God can work miracles in your life.

faith, Jesus, God, hope

What happened to me especially with my financial issues and my relationship was the catalyst I needed for change. I let them go. They’re so big that I could not do it on my own. The mountain was too big for me to climb on my own. In the natural world, I was on my own. This book is teaching you how to live in the supernatural world where God lives. Trusting that behind the scenes he is working to help me.

Worry and self-doubt stifled any progress that I could have made. It made nothing better. My hand in trying to fix everything only made it worse. You can choose to worry all day long if you want. The alternative is let it go, believe that faith does it. Do not worry about the how that’s God’s job. I promise he does not need your help. He does not work well with others; in this, he prefers to work alone. It’s your job to let him.

Little by little my financial worries are dissipating. All my bills are getting paid, sometimes just getting paid. Not sure how I am even going to eat yet I have not gone hungry. My credit is intact, and the phone calls have stopped. I am doing my part every day. God sees that I work, I work with a smile, I don’t complain that there is not enough, and I smile to be a friend to all.

The other day I received an email from one of my favorite Church’s that they were going to fall short of their budget this year. The reasons I understood why. So, I could only give $10.00. I did so joyfully. I left my job to run an errand. Came back a customer caught me outside and asked about a trailer I had for sale. Long story short my commission for this small trailer was $100.00. The deal fell into my lap. A ten-fold return for something I just believed in my heart.

It’s the hardest thing I have ever done, belief in God. Believe in promises from a book written thousands of years ago. Even if you’re skeptical about God, be open to learning something new by studying the word of God to change your life.

What if the story is true. How as a father could you bear seeing your son beaten to a pulp, then forced to carry his instrument of destruction (the cross) to your death? The strength that took to endure is beyond mortal comprehension. I think we can believe after that sacrifice in his word. The word that gives me life.

From all of this, you can rest assured that his promise is real. All you must do is believe. Praise God every day for your life. Thank him and directly through prayer and your excellent work blessing will come. When the enemy says, “see it’s not changing fast, God has left you.” That’s when you can rest assured that just around the bend, just a little further in faith, your life is about to change. All we must do is believe when everything suggests nothing is happening. That’s when you need to sit down relax and enjoy the ride.

Belief must be a total commitment. You cannot just say if you must believe in your heart. It’s easy to say I believe in God. If, however, I do nothing to back up that belief its words nothing more. When you hop up on a chair, you have unwavering faith that it will hold you. What if a spring is Broken just below the surface of the seat cover. You flop down and drive a spring right into your behind, ouch. Every day without a thought or care, flop you go. The real question is how we can believe in something so innocuous so entirely and yet struggle believing in God?

The real question for us all is how do we get unwavering faith in God so that we can flop in his chair? The short answer is prayer and letting go. We must put down the luggage we carry and let God have it. Way easier said than done. With faith the how does come! Imagine the wonder if you could put down the backpack of worry we all carry.

Having an unwavering belief will require that your role with the punches, pardon the cliché. Did I mention this is where the test comes? What you didn’t say anything about a test! What do you think tough times are? A check of your faith, your belief that everything will be okay. OR, you sink into a Pitiful Pearl state of mind. I’m also not talking about major life events like death or divorce. I’m talking about regular life stuff.

Life will throw you test to check your resolve. Okay, you’re going to get over this. We’re always going to have something to contend with in our lives. How we handle issues that get in the way is how God will judge us. Mine alter ego Pitiful Pearl would many times say “just my luck” “why can’t I catch a break” when just handling what comes with grace will get us through quickly.

When God knows that WE know he is in charge, that all things are possible through Christ. Guess what all things are possible through Christ. We can’t see the HOW but what we can see is that God will handle whatever comes down the pipe. Do what is in front of you every day. Remember you can’t sit on your backside and say okay God handle it. You still must get up and go to work, you still must be a friend, you still must be a parent, and life will move on. What will be different is if you are different, meaning if you handle the next season of your life with grace. Or does Pitiful Pearl visit you? It’s a choice you must make.

Keeping focused on believing God has us in his hand when life just kicked you right in you know what. God sees you taking a shot right in the gut but letting him know that yep it hurt but God I’m standing with you. I have done this now many times only to see his grace work in my life. I went from horrible dark places scaring my family for my safety. To realize that if I stay out of God’s way, peace does come to me.

My problems may not resolve themselves as quickly as I would like. I could jump in and start trying to solve problems that are just too big for me to handle alone. Instead, I am using what I am telling you to try, and it works. Nothing happens in the time frame I want. It does happen in God’s good time. When I let God handle my life and realize I may even miss a deadline for some significant life event but allow God’s timing to reveal itself. Somehow even at the brink of disaster, it all works out. Nothing blew up, nothing life changing happened, it resolves itself without my help. I did the work in front of me each day.

The how for me is not as important to me as letting God know that I believe. That in times where I think my world is blowing up, I without hesitation trust him. Am I 100% on this NO! That only makes me human subject to make mistakes. Quickly I will let God know that I am sorry, my forgiveness given to me. Presented in the words of the Bible; you might want to get a copy (study bible).

This chapter will close with this thought. If your child got deathly ill, you would have no problem going to God. In fact, you will probably go to God every moment of every day until your baby gets well. You will thank him if your child pulls through, earnestly you will thank him.

 My point is if you want God to perform a miracle in your life. You don’t have to have a catastrophic event for that to occur. If you want your life to be about beautiful blessings and happiness, go to God every day in faith prayer. Thank him for the blessings you have even if they have not manifested themselves in your life.

Don’t wait as I did until life blows up and now you have a huge mess to clean up. We all go through hard seasons in our life. Would it not be nice to have the tools now to help you weather the storm?

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