Faith is something I am learning does pay off. For the last few months more so than any other time in my life, faith guides my life, but it does have its challenges!
Today for example: not only do I not want a divorce, but I also have to pay for it. Even though I don’t want a divorce it’s God has seen fit for my life to take a new direction. So faith will mean that I accept this, don’t freak out.
The choice I am making is to be okay with the divorce. My destiny is not with my current wife. So instead of curling up into a ball in my bed, I choose to accept the separation. Doesn’t mean I have to like it I do not. Believe in God requires faith and sometimes faith involves sacrifice. None of us have to like it, but if you want God’s promises in your life, then you have to embrace change.
In the midst of a break-up, we all want to believe we can’t live without our spouse. The pain of loss is the same as if they (God forbid) passed away. The damage is painful, and it damn well hurts. However, when you examine the fact that what is happening is for a more significant reason not yet revealed. Where I was in my life I through “all-in” with my faith that God has a plan for my life.
Looking back on my life the pattern has been the same. So breaking old paradigms, setting a new course and letting life open up without me imposing my will. Don’t misunderstand I do things to make sure my life is moving forward. The amazing thing is that God has blessed me with many new things.
Not new things like guy toys. What he has given me are strength and modern wisdom. The power to let go of my marriage to see what God’s plan is for my life. This indeed has been a journey of tears and sorrow. I pwill freely admit times hurt like hell, put myself in a very dark place in my head. Depression kicked my ass for a time.
It’s when at my darkest moment, contemplating hurting myself. Because life didn’t make sense for me to even stay on this earth. It was at this moment that it came to me, that if I was going to save my own life despite the fact that I honestly felt worthless.
Spiritual life here I come! It’s taken prayer, visualization, church, and Christian friends to help guide my way. In my darkest moments, I tell God I am not losing this time I am with God. If you’ve read my blog, you will know the miracles that have blessed my life in the last few months. Without hesitation, my life right now is a miracle gift from God.
So today when it sucks that I have to move on and forward. “I am.” Just like any other day I pray to God “this time is for you, not I and I am not losing anymore.”
If you’re going through a break-up or divorce. I as you feel the pain, loss, and hurt. Just don’t believe life is over. It’s not easy, but if you decide you win this time, your new destiny will be more than you imagined or asked God for. Stay strong and please send me a note below if you need to vent!