Getting Rid of Self-Doubt

Things to Get Rid of Self Doubt

We all suffer from self-doubt. For years and years, we are indoctrinated with limiting beliefs of ourselves.

unrecognizable woman sitting on hill and looking at majestic mountains
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How would you like to get rid of self-doubt?

Here are my top 10 ways to assist with getting rid of self-doubt:

  1. Whatever you doubt about yourself, knowledge will help you overcome it. Learn about your fear; knowledge conquers all!
  2. Organize your life down to the last detail. When energy is scattered to the wind, so is your mind. Know every day what you want to achieve and follow that. When you organize your life also includes downtime. Balance!
  3. Patience. Learn that not everything in your life is going to happen just this moment. Allow yourself to be okay with “at your pace.” Nothing in life is a horse race that must be completed this very second. Learn to roll with the flow of energy and be okay with it. You do not know how life is moving the future to allow for your change to occur. Think about that a moment.
  4. Run your life’s race, not society’s interpretation of your life. Don’t compare your life to others.
  5. Journal your life. Write down what you achieved that day and what you could have done better. Use this to help you gain more focus. Remember, this is not work to be graded but allow yourself a clear picture of your life; writing can be incredibly healing.
  6. The past needs to stay in the past. If you are a better person today, than you were in your past, well done. Even when others including family, may remind you of past indiscretions. Focus on your positive change. The most tremendous success you can be is overcoming a jaded past. The past does not define who you are today unless you let it.
  7. Let naysayers roll off your back. Just because someone thinks you cannot do something that does not ever define, you cannot! Two know whether you can or cannot achieve. You and God period. Never allow someone to talk you out of something your heart tells you is doable.
  8. Setbacks are temporary, never permanent. A setback simply means go back to your map and find a new way.
  9. Celebrate the smallest win. If you achieve something, celebrate it. Remember how it feels!
  10. Change course when you must. The path can sometimes lead to a dead-end. However, that does not mean the destination cannot be reached another way.

Self-doubt can plague any life to the point of giving up. Utilize the tools above, find your own, and kick some ass. Knowledge of a thing will allow you to overcome any obstacle. When we understand, we achieve!

Robert Bruton Books available at Amazon

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Begin Where You Are

“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.”–Friedrich Nietzsche

Do you think you cannot start because:

  • I don’t have money.
  • I don’t have a degree.
  • I don’t have time.
  • I am too old.
  • I don’t know the right people.
  • I am afraid.

You can talk yourself out of anything. Putting up roadblocks at every turn. Not to mention the naysayers that will tell you, “you can’t.”

What if you could???

What if you could do anything you set your mind to?

Would you try it?

Think about this for a moment. Other than maybe naysayers who say you cannot write a novel, open a flower shop, become a designer or any other thing you might want to become? You!

You do not have anyone other than yourself who knows for sure if you can change any aspect of your life. Just you and God have that answer. Think about that for a moment. Perhaps you have a colorful past; maybe you did not finish school. Nothing says, nor is anything stopping you other than yourself.

Forget the BS naysayers. If you listen to them, you will not get a damn thing accomplished. Be nice, say thank you and move on with the tasks at hand.

Begin by taking a notebook and pen and write out exactly what you would love to do with your life.

First, make sure you take these out of the equation:

  1. Money is NOT the problem.
  2. Time is NOT the problem.
  3. Knowledge is NOT the problem (you can gain that).

This exercise is hard to complete and may take some time. For many, the blockades you put before yourself are hard to set aside. They have become your reality, but only in your mind. That can change with time and knowledge.

Write out what you want to achieve with your life now.

If time money, and knowledge are not your problems, what are you? So, let’s fix that.

People fail for many reasons, but the biggest reason is emotional pain brought on by us. Meaning you, just like a Marathon runner, hit a wall, whereby emotional pain becomes too difficult to withstand. So, you think!

fashionable woman in hat looking away
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When we begin anything new in our life, we are going to stink. Until you learn to ride a bike, you may have to take a spill or two. Skinned knees and elbows will only hurt for a time. Once you master riding the bike all is well.

Patience is the first skill to master. Without patience, you will become overwhelmed, frustrated, and quit. Master this skill and you will absolutely change your life forever!

Several things help us to focus our minds. We can develop patience. Learn to breathe (focused breathing), walk, get outside, and blow off some steam. Meditation is a beautiful way to still your mind.

Learning to still your mind will also help you learn patience. Take time to meditate daily. Game changer!

Be grateful where you are now. Healthy, have a job, have a car that runs, a loving family, or good friends. Lots to be thankful for today.

When your parents would tell you that “knowledge is power.” Brother, nothing could be more authentic! Knowledge can be gained in many ways. You don’t need a formal education to gain experience.

  1. Get to a library.
  2. Attend a seminar.
  3. Join groups that study that which you are trying to learn.
  4. Look for a Mentor.
  5. Go to a College Library.
  6. College Bookstores are filled with books they currently teach from.
  7. Internet search.
  8. White papers on the subject you are studying.

Self-taught is POWERFUL!

When you understand fully any subject, you can achieve that which your heart desires. Nothing can stop you if you know how to do _______. Learn!!!

Like we discussed early in the article, you can talk yourself out of anything. Fear of the unknown will stifle your life to the point you accept status-quo. For me, three years ago, I said enough-is-enough.

With no clear path to begin but a desire to achieve instead of accepting life as you understand it to be today. My long road to creation began. You have to start, move, go, try, fail, but never give in to “I can’t.”

Set a course by doing the first exercise in the article. Take time to gain the knowledge necessary to achieve what you desire. Life will throw curveballs, do not give in to the pain. You can take more than you think; remember, knowledge is power. Keep learning!

Learn the difference between:

Activity vs. Productivity

Resources vs. Resourcefulness

You are never what you have come to accept yourself to be (today).

You are MORE!

Robert Bruton Books @Amazon

Change The World Around You

One thing is for sure in this tumultuous world. It is a ride! Something akin to a twirl-and-hurl ride at the carnival. How do we survive in a chaotic world?

“Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.” –Francis of Assisi

None of us can avoid the bilge ever-present on the internet. Cannot view the news, go on social media, listen to others in conversations without hearing negative remarks. Americans pitted against Americans. Are we not all on the same side, or at least supposed to be???

Enough of this, I say. Let’s spell out a few things we can all do to remove ourselves from negative thoughts and change the world. The world around us anyway! Unless you are being called by some political moniker, Congressman _____, Senator ______, then I imagine the only real change you can be a part of is the world around you.

What do I mean, you ask?

  • Can you offer up a smile?
  • Can you offer up a lending hand, volunteer?
  • Can you not get caught up in rhetoric, offer solutions NOT more hate, gossip, etc.

Instead of talking about the world’s problems, do something about the world’s problems around you.

  1. Plant a fruit tree in a public space so all can pick from it. With permission, of course, find an available space that would allow you to plant a fruit tree.
  2. Teach families in need how to grow a garden for fresh food. Most folks could do this right in the back yard. Or again, find a public space that would allow for a community garden.
  3. Could you teach a class for free at the public library?
    How to create a great Resume
    How to overcome fear
    How to start your own business on a shoestring budget
    How to write a book and publish it
    How to be a good leader
    How to be a better parent
  4. What about educating yourself? Reinvent YOU!
  5. What could you do to lower your carbon footprint?

Plenty of ideas to get you started thinking about how you could change the world around you. Because when we are honest with ourselves, that is truly all we can change is the world around us—our circle of the planet.

woman in the back of a van looking at mountains
Photo by Alex Azabache on Pexels.com

Instead of burning everything to the ground, causing havoc and chaos. Would it not make more sense to fix what we can?

Being a mental health awareness month, I felt this article was spot on. Seeing so many folks simply lose their mind over things they have absolutely NO control over. It would be nice to have total faith in one’s Government, but throughout history, that is just not the case.

Taking care of our own little corner of the world makes way more sense.

Seeing the video floating around of the young women screaming at the top of their voice. Making a spectacle of themselves and being the butt of jokes all over the world. As you read this, my guess you know precisely which memes I speak of.

When you think about those type of moments, what did they achieve? Other than the fallout from the humiliation of doing something you live to regret.

Again, this begs the question, was it worth it?

Before you jump off into the deep blue sea of controversy, ask yourself some questions before you believe anything you read or hear:

  1. If you hear something that boils your mind. Is the person you are hearing it from credible, and do they have an underlying agenda? Make sure the information is without bias.
  2. Is there anything at all you can indeed do about that which you have heard? Other than changing the world around you.
  3. Is losing your joy, doing something stupid worth it? Or could you change the world around you for the better?

“A man always has two reasons for doing anything: a good reason and the real reason.”—JP Morgan

Fundamentally we all want the same thing:

  1. Quality of Life
  2. At my age Peace-of-Mind
  3. Happy family
  4. Warm Home
  5. Good paying Job or Business

We are Americans and suppose to be on the same team. Here is what happens with Government:

  1. Each election cycle, one or the other party will tear down that which the other did during their reign in office. Therefore, we are at square one again.
  2. Each election cycle, you hear the same promises:
    “It’s the dawn of a new era.”
    “Together, we will be better.”
    “Lower Taxes.”
    “We will provide better care for your family.”

None of these things ever have lasting value because every 4 to 8 years someone new comes into power. If it happens to be a different political party, we get to start over. With words strong like “Repeal.”

For me, therefore, I simply try and change the world around me. I figure no matter who is in the office, if I can somehow bring a better me to the world, I can change what I can. This way I don’t have to lose my mind over things I have no control over.

The one thing I do contribute is my Vote. That is the extent of my voice but not the extent of my reach. By helping others, lending a hand, I can in some measure, change the world. Now imagine that by millions of people!

So, we are clear:

  • I do not like career politicians.
  • I want clean air and a good healthy environment.
  • Good schools, good roads, and stable infrastructure.
  • Quality land management over our natural resources.

Alluding back to what can you or I do to facilitate our common goal?

How can we, as Americans, hurt one another? Just because we believe differently does not make us mortal enemies. It just makes us different. You give a little, I offer a little and somewhere we find common ground to stand on.

More to the point, how can you allow current events to overtake your life and mental joy? Nothing in our lives is solved with a hateful, stress-filled heart. Problems are solved with calm, cool heads. I am evidence of this fact.

My own life, when I learned to not fight monsters in the closet that simply was not there, I began to find peace. Finding peace has moved my life in ways I never dreamed could be with a grateful heart of what is yet to come.

Find peace in yourself; life will come to find you in meaningful, joyful and happy ways. God bless you!

Books by Robert Bruton available at Amazon

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Quiet Your Mind

Learn how to slow down the noise in your head. When silence screams loud, learning to quiet your mind, meditate to slow down. You will find focus, peace, tranquility and energy will flow like a river.

This is the introduction to my new book “Quiet Your Mind”, available at Amazon. We explore how to get the garbage out of our minds and release our best life.

Introduction

Do you ever wish you could unplug from the world if only for a moment?

Can you put Social Media away for a full day?

Could you give yourself a real break and not give in to the harshness of the world?

The answer I would imagine is a hesitant maybe!

If you unplug for just a bit to allow your head to reboot. You will find fantastic peace if you try. Do not worry, your social media will be there when you get back.

If you really want to be happy, you need to take short breaks from the world. A constant barrage of garbage information will cloud your mind to the point you have zero visibility, just like a pilot, you need to be able to see. Zero visibility is dangerous.

Reading post after post of garbage. Finding yourself getting angrier over a world gone wrong. Not for one minute saying you must not care. What I am absolutely saying is give care to yourself so you can bring a better you back to the world.

When our mind can slow down. Reboot if you will. Creative energy, positive outlooks, and a healthier mind can emerge. We have all heard the adage, balanced life.

This is an incredibly stressful time in our history. Nothing in the news is exciting or helpful, we are barraged with how horrible the world where we reside. Nothing on social media is anything but negative, negative, negative!

Your noodle can only manage so much before you become a product of your environment. Finding ourselves short-tempered and contrary. Again, you can care about social issues of the day, but learn to moderate the intake and outgo of self.

It is terrific to be passionate about social issues. It is a whole other thing to be blinded by them. This will occur if you do not take time to unplug to see the world around you. What I mean by the world around you is your spiritual presence on this earth.

Do you take time to meditate and clear your head? See yourself in ways that make you happy. Are you available to go to God in prayer? Or are you to busy to slow down?

If your answer does not include meditation or prayer. Wo Pony, you need to slow down. Anger begets anger. Hate begets hate, intolerance begets intolerance. Change in social environments means you must be the change you want in the world, as Gandhi once said.

If you did pray and meditate regularly, you might find the social answers you seek.

Manage the world around you. Meaning, change what you can in your environment. See how that grows. This is how you can profoundly change the world.

This book is not intended to solve the world’s problems. It is designed to help you find peace, inner strength, hope, and bring a better you to this world.

Questions or comments:

Click Here to Purchase on Amazon

Related article Change are you Ready

Take Your Life Back

How can life continually kick you in the gut, yet you still get up and fight?

How can life jerk the rug right out from under you, and yet you still get up and fight?

How can nothing seem to go right most of the time, and you still get up and fight?

How can you feel abandoned by God and still get up and fight?

Are you the person that fights?

People quit because they do not have a fight left in them, so THEY think! Emotionally we are all stronger than we give ourselves credit for.

“Self-acknowledgment boosts your emotional and spiritual immunity, giving you the strength, you need to release the past and rise above fear, doubt, or resignation.”—Debbie Ford

Two years ago, I took life head-on. With no emotional place to go but up, it was time to take the hits, take the pain, take the sorrow, and say NO more.

When you want to change your life, achieve more than you ever have. You need to be ready to take whatever life can throw at you, breakthrough prepared for more. When I speak of achievement, this is not about work success, this is YOU success.

Nothing in this life will come to you if you are not prepared. Emotionally prepared to never allow life to overtake your self-worth.

No more pity parties, “I can’t take it, it is too hard!” Horsefeathers!

Let me give you a little secret I have learned along the way. When you begin to awaken the you that you want to be. The person that makes all your dreams come true. You also awaken the enemy who says, “Oh NO, you don’t, I had you in the pits of hell on earth and that is where you stay.” So, the battle begins!

Life, hope, happy

You will be tested; the enemy will fill your head with garbage. Keep you busy chasing your own tale. Kicking your own ass. This is when YOU SAY, “Oh Hell. No, this is my time.”

This will help you strengthen yourself:

  1. Pray. Find times every day to share your innermost thoughts with God. The good, the bad and the ugly. Get it out. All we ask for is wisdom to resolve!
  2. Meditation. Daily get yourself in a routine of reflection. This is where we go to see ourselves in that place of joy, happiness, and peace.
  3. Journal your day. Learn the difference between activity and productivity. Success comes about when productivity dominates our days. Set specific times to achieve tasks every day that lead to a tangible result. Set up your day hour-to-hour. At first, this will be a pain in the butt. Over time it becomes second nature.
  4. Breathe. As much as needed, take a moment to breathe. Slow yourself down when your head begins to muddle up with garbage. Box breathing is a beautiful way to calm down. Easy to do: Take a couple cleansing breaths in through the nose out through the mouth. Then on a slow 4 count breath in and hold 4, breathe out on a 4 count, begin the same rhythm again. Do this a couple of times; if relaxed your good. If not a couple more times.
  5. Remember a calm mind, is productive, creative, and happy. This is where you will draw your greatest strength.

Do not give up when things get tough. Misery loves company. Do not let the enemy put in your head you can not change, YES you can!

The reason I know change is possible:

  • Great athletes train, train, and train more. You do not pick up a golf club walk onto a tee box with Tiger Woods and expect to win a game. You do not get on a pair of skis and stand in a start house with Lindsey Vaughn and expect to win a gold medal.

Why you say, why can you not beat them? Simple! Practice they have trained themselves for years to compete at the level of achievement each has attained. You must train, train and train more to win—the same thing with your mind that has decades of garbage stuffed in your mind.

People can change because you do get better when you practice. When you get off your ass and try. Try until you think one more step is impossible and take action.

Nay Sayers can kiss my ass. Let this become your mantra!

Just because lazy asses tell you something is impossible. You do not have the right stuff. Remind them to sit on their ass and hold your beer. Get it done!

I wish I had a shortcut to share. Other than your resolve must be steadfast. When enough-is-enough, you will change. I am!