A Guide To Real Change

A sneak look at my book A Guide To Real Change. Check out Chapter 1 of this fantastic book and begin the journey to change your life. We all need help changing aspects of our lives!

Chapter 1

 Together We Begin

Excuse me, hello, excuse me. Yes, you! Can you look this way, please? You’re looking at yesterday; I need you focused forward, thank you!

Are you looking forward to TODAY? When you woke up, did your feet hit the floor, with a smile on your face? Most likely not read on.

“Never let yesterday use up too much of today.”—Will Rogers

Today is all you have. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is just that tomorrow. So, what can you do to make today a good day? Plan for it. Have a program that has tasks that need doing today. Prepare the night before at least three things you know for sure you can accomplish in a day.

Have small successes every day. Complete tasks that will help bring about big success in whatever aspect of your life that needs help the most right now. Learn productivity vs. activity, read on you’ll see what I mean.

What happens is we tend to get to scattered out with all the things we need to fix. Like, relationships, jobs, ourselves, bills, and the list gets bigger. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time! Apply that to your life, and you will achieve much more.

This process of change has eluded me. By appearance, just organizing aspects of our life for success seem simple. The real test is, are you doing it now? Will you stay consistent?

Here are some tasks to help you get started:

  1. Set daily reminders on your phone to alert you to functions for that day.
  2. Use apps like Google Tasks, Google Calendar, they’re free. I use them, and they help me a lot.
  3. Make time in the evening to plan out tasks (minimum 3) for the next day.
  4. DON’T PROCRASTINATE!
  5. Use a calendar to help your track deadlines. Also, a Project Management app is a great way to keep track of your progress.

Five quick things you can do today!

It’s your turn to win! Get started right now. Don’t think, DO!!!

This book is the first step. Keep going.

Where to Begin

You are coming to a point in life where the outcome thus far is a disaster. If this is you, welcome, I welcome you to the beginning of your new life. Just reading this won’t bring change. If you want this, it’s going to take some work.

Before we begin, the importance of this one thing Patience! It cannot be understated.

“Patience is not simply the ability to wait – it’s how we behave while we’re waiting.”—Joyce Meyer

Without the patience to allow change to occur, you will stifle progress. My mother always told me this “it took you fifty years to break your life; give yourself time to change.” She was right as most moms are.

Where a failure occurs, most is the lack of patience to allow change to occur. We live in the “I want it right now society.” Get that out of your head right now. Where I stumbled hard — not allowing the universe to set a new course for my life. Think of yourself as a large ship that needs turning around. It takes a wide berth to achieve a safe turn.

Beginning the process will have its trials and tribulations. Your mind will fill with self-doubt, where patience becomes a struggle. Misery loves the company, and your noodle will remind you that “we love pain, we’re comfortable here” because you are comfortable in pain. You won’t let go quickly.

We all find ourselves in reflection to have a relationship with our pain. It takes years to develop, and it will take time to employ a paradigm shift.

Here is the skinny because I can sense those saying, “I don’t like pain.” We get so comfortable that our mind and body accept it as usual. Therefore, forbearance will see you through.

Don’t get discouraged when it seems that nothing is changing — allowing change to occur. Imposing your own will over a situation only makes an excellent job harder than it must be. You’ve heard I’m sure on God’s time, not my time.

Change cannot come without discomfort.

Don’t quit because of trouble. Evolution is not occurring as quickly as hoped. The pain of loss or other stressors is not dissipating.  The mind is continually in a barrage of negative thoughts, self-doubt, and feels as though nothing is getting better.

“I hated every minute of training, but I said, ‘Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.”–Muhammad Ali

Keeping an eye towards a positive outcome. Being grateful in advance of anything manifesting good in life. Meditate on the result.

If you take a trip around the world at some point in time, weather delays, airport delays, canceled flights, lost luggage, lost hotel reservations, something is going to happen. The chances are high that more than once.

Would you stop an ounce in a lifetime around the world trip over a delay? No, you deal with it and keep going!

What could you tell the younger you if you could? When you’ve drifted out into life like a space void only to look back into the abyss. You get a pit in your stomach that gives way to wow this sucks. Not exactly the experience you envisioned as a younger you.

Hitting the last half of life looking in a rear-view mirror that looks like an apocalyptic mess. Challenging our thoughts with “what a waste.” It begins to stifle any outlook because age has overtaken youth. The idea “I’m not the same as I once was.”

If you’re boldly marching into a mid-life crisis, menopause, or qualify for an AARP® membership. This story is for you. More importantly, if life has not turned out as you planned or hoped, does this give you a feeling of doom?

Everything we’ve read self-help wise in our lives has said to look forward never look back. Easier said than done but very accurate.

Over a year ago, I faced the questions I am posing to you now and staring divorce in the face, that at the time I did not want. With that situation at hand, my mind forced me to look back over my life. What I saw was not the beautiful painting I had hoped it would be — instead, everything past has illuminated for me to see very clearly — damned ugly!

The real kicker is a good bit; you don’t want to change, but the ugly is ugly. This also brings up a question that is the nasty uglier because of the situation currently adding to our loss or stress.

Not only is loss bringing pain, but so is life as we’ve lived it to date. As you often see in text messages, WTF!

Where do we go from here? How can you pick yourself up out of hell and gaze into the mirror and say I love you?

The strength needed to face you is perhaps the solidity you’ve searched for all your life. The power that comes from faith the best is yet to come and believe it. Facing you in the mirror. What do you see?

The choices of what you see can be boundless when in the depths of pain. The pain can become so unbearable that terrible darkness can overtake your thoughts. Damn, what a dark place. Are you sufficiently depressed?

Here is where we learn what advice we would have given our younger self. From this fountain of youth comes wisdom to carry us into our Senior years with a new brighter outlook. The struggle to realize life was not over. It merely takes recalibration of our thoughts.

This book is available on Amazon. Click the cover to check out this amazing book.

book, ebook

Investment in Your Own Success vs. Sacrifice

The buzzwords “what sacrifice are you willing to pay?” Is your life of happiness, joy, abundance really a sacrifice? 

Throw the word sacrifice out the window and replace it with; Investment in my own success!

After thinking about this a lot. What I have come to learn is I am not making any sacrifice in my life. To some degree in my life, I have since you hear over-and-over again. Sacrifice, what you are prepared to do? What I am sure of is I am ready to make an investment in my own success.

joy, happiness, success

Some of you will be saying the sacrifice I have to make is time. I am going to have to work night & day to complete my dreams. Work weekends, never having a life. Horse Manure!

Making an investment in your own success also includes time. For those of you that say I don’t have time, I suppose you don’t understand how to manage time properly. Don’t scream! Here me out.

Activity vs. Productivity
You can be busy as hell all day long. What did you accomplish? Learn to fill your day with productivity. Organize is the key! 

When you can learn the difference between these to words, time will begin to heal itself. Here are some examples that will help you get started:

  1. Plan your day down to the hour. Have set activities from hour-to-hour that net a result. Tasks.
  2. Learn to limit social media to downtimes NOT during activity hours. Seeing what your sister is making her kids for dinner can wait. Social media is the biggest killer of productive time.
  3. During productive hours shut off the world for a bit to focus. Setting boundaries for idle chitchat is okay. Let friends and family know you will be off the air from this time to that. Emergencies are obviously the exception to the rule. “Mom, can I have $20 to go to the mall can wait for an hour.”

Fill your day with productive time, not wasted time. The three items above give you the idea.

If you feel like you have to give up something to be successful, you need to rethink your plan. For many, it’s time with family. Dedicate times for date nights, time with children, school functions, and kids firsts. Organize your time. Calendar in your day!

calendar, organize, details

Typically, when you organize your day. Take out distractions best you can. Finding twenty hours a week in wasted time is an average.

When you work this out, you can have time for family, social, and activities outside your career. Making an investment in your life includes family. Make times to be present for spouse and children.

You will be more productive when you organize your life out to include growth. Which leads me to something many are doing, and I just began.

Begin your day at 4:00 A.M. 

Before you scream, hear me out! 

Most folks get up between 6 am, and 7 am to get ready for work. So let’s assume for a minute you get up and six. You have the same 24 hours that we all get. Break this down:

24 hrs. – 8 hr work day = 16 hr left – 2 hr commute = 14 hr left – 6 hr to sleep = 8 hr. 

You have Eight odd hours to fit in time for family, and investments in your own success. This can fluctuate a bit from day-to-day, but overall, this is how hours in a day can break down.

You cannot become successful without organizing each day. Activity is just that activity which produces nothing typically. Productivity produces purpose and results.

When faced with the dilemma that you’re sacrificing things in life, that’s really no life at all. I am not suggesting that sometime you may have to make a tough choice. What I am saying for sure that that will always be the exception NOT the rule.

Organize down so the contingency has a contingency. Have the discipline to follow your daily tasks to the letter. Try to never leave a task for tomorrow. If you have to make sure to knock it out first thing, before starting your routine when possible.

Change does take time and you will have setbacks. Just keep grinding forward. Even when you see NO way, believe me, a way will be made if you stay in faith.

What investment in your own success will you make today?

Comments or questions:

 

Tomorrow will not come happy Without taking care of Today, Be in the Moment

“Tomorrow is only found in the calendar of fools.”–Og Mandino

Being present in the moment! Are you present at the moment or looking forward? How much could you get done today if you did not worry about tomorrow?

I included it’s easier said than done to not worry about tomorrow. Especially when our lives are broken up into months, monthly payments and so on. How we get productivity vs. activity is to focus our efforts on today. There is no tomorrow if you do nothing today!

plan, schedule, success

Organize your day if necessary hour to hour. You will be surprised if you focus solely on productivity how much you can get done.

If we focus on the day tomorrow will have brighter dawn to wake up to.

Have a blessed day!

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Patron, Support, Donation

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Being Your Best, How to Get Started NOW

“Good, better, best. Never let it rest. ‘Til your good is better, and your better is best.”–St Jerome

Say that five times really fast! Ha Ha!

When I found this quote, it really hit me. In our journies, we strive to be our best. Those with passion seem to never rest in the pursuit.

What we learn along the way is forward momentum keeps our vision in sight of our goal. Whether you take a baby step today and a giant step tomorrow, it doesn’t really matter as long as the motion is forward.

Organize, calendar, tasks

Learning to organize your day into bite-size chunks will help. Get a calendar that you like to work with. Organize activities that you can begin and finish within an allotted period. This keeps you from getting to scattered. Activity vs. Productivity. We want production!

Map out a day from hour-to-hour. Don’t wing this get organized. If you do, success is coming. Being busy is just being active. Have clear and actionable tasks, complete the work before moving on. This is the difference between winning and the status quo.

Start today, now if possible. Procrastination is what other people do!

If you have questions: