family

Dwelling on the Past

One primary cause for not moving forward in your life; Dwelling in the past. Working out stuff that is merely in the past. What can you really do to change things that have long since past?

So you’ve done something in your past, or something has happened to you from days gone by, and you can’t let go. If you can clear these questions, it’s time to move on:

  1. Anyone you may have hurt have you made amends if that is possible?
  2. Did you learn anything from what happened?
  3. Have you taken steps to correct yourself if it was your issue?
  4. Are you tired of your current situation and ready to change?

If you answered yes to one or all then maybe it’s time to let go. Moreover, maybe its time to look forward!

Relationships could be categorized in the top two of the most common things to let go and move on from. If you haven’t moved on then make ‘s think about a few things. Yes, you may in your HEAD believe that life is over without this person, but that is just not true. NO, you don’t want to hear that but I can tell you from experience, you can let go.

If someone does not want you then why on earth would you consider wanting them? Let’s say they did come back after you begged them too. How long do you really think it will last? If your spouse wants out this was a long time coming. Most likely they have fallen out of love with you for some time. The hard part you haven’t YET!

self help, God, Jesus

I am a big supporter of keeping your marriage together. Counseling and hard work. Yes! If however, no reconciliation by the other person can occur, it’s time to move on. You have to search your heart that perhaps God is moving this person out of your life to make room for someone who is right for you. Painful, hell yes, but at the end of the day do you want a healthy, happy marriage or the same status quo that you had?

Sometimes, as painful as a breakup can be it’s for the best possible outcome. What I thought I wanted from my ex-wife was a reconciliation. She did not. I just knew we could fix our marriage. When I was forced to face the reality of divorce. Open my eyes and say okay I don’t want this, but maybe God has a new plan for my life. I surrendered to it, let go genuinely. Wow, being opened up to a modern day.

I stopped looking backward and put my sights forward. This is the whole point of this article. You cannot see a NEW future unfold in front of you while you’re dwelling in the past. Think about if driving down the freeway continually looking in your rear-view mirror you will eventually crash. You do not deserve to crash, open your eyes and look down the road.

No matter what mistakes you’ve made in the past. That’s the point they’re in the past! You can make amends where possible and not make that mistake again. If you can honestly say “I screwed up, but that’s not me anymore.” Move on, move forward with what life has to show you.

Mistakes are not life sentences. They’re just that mistakes. If you have people around you reminding you continually about your mistakes, tell them to move on. That’s petty, and you just don’t need to keep those folks around. Misery loves company. For naysayers ask them to keep it moving. When your heart says you that you’ve done as much as you can to the right a wrong. Let’s move on!

Your past does not define the person you are or could be. Don’t let mistakes define your life. Don’t let lost relationships determine your final outcome. Through the pain, we find strength, blessings, and miracles. Allow life, to open a new for you.

We have all made mistakes in your lives that we’re not proud of. Even had things done to us by someone that hurt us deeply. Both sides of this coin we need to let go of. Dwelling on what we did or what happened to us serves no purpose other than pain. I get only too well that if our pain was inflicted by another, that is hard as hell to let go.

When it comes to hurt, we suffer from an event in our life that was inflicted upon us. This pain cannot be easily undone or ever for that matter. What we can focus on is that it was not our fault, we did not deserve what happened. My prayer is that God will help you to put the pain away. God loves you, I love you as a human being, that your life can and will be happy, fulfilled, prosperous and full of joy.

These things may seem unattainable at this moment, but they do exist. They exist when you can let go (not forget) and no longer accept that what has happened defines you. It does not. What distinguishes you is what God’s plan for your life as you begin to open your heart to receive. Let God have your pain, ask him to take your pain and show you the growth he has for you.

I would not presume to say I have walked in anyone’s shoes, nor could you say you have walked in mine. What I can with all my heart tell you that through the pain, is joy, freedom and a life you have earned because of your struggle. When I say life, I mean a beautiful experience.

God did not put eyes in the back of your head. I can imagine the reason is you need to keep looking forward. What’s behind you is just that; behind you!

  • Your past does not define who you really are!
  • Your past is not a life sentence of pain!

Open up and see what God has for you. Life is out there waiting to laugh with you.

 

 

family, spiritual

Stay in Faith Even When You Feel Hurt

Faith is something I am learning does pay off. For the last few months more so than any other time in my life, faith guides my life, but it does have its challenges!

Today for example: not only do I not want a divorce, but I also have to pay for it. Even though I don’t want a divorce it’s God has seen fit for my life to take a new direction. So faith will mean that I accept this, don’t freak out.

The choice I am making is to be okay with the divorce. My destiny is not with my current wife. So instead of curling up into a ball in my bed, I choose to accept the separation. Doesn’t mean I have to like it I do not. Believe in God requires faith and sometimes faith involves sacrifice. None of us have to like it, but if you want God’s promises in your life, then you have to embrace change.

In the midst of a break-up, we all want to believe we can’t live without our spouse. The pain of loss is the same as if they (God forbid) passed away. The damage is painful, and it damn well hurts. However, when you examine the fact that what is happening is for a more significant reason not yet revealed. Where I was in my life I through “all-in” with my faith that God has a plan for my life.

Looking back on my life the pattern has been the same. So breaking old paradigms, setting a new course and letting life open up without me imposing my will. Don’t misunderstand I do things to make sure my life is moving forward. The amazing thing is that God has blessed me with many new things.

faith in God

Not new things like guy toys. What he has given me are strength and modern wisdom. The power to let go of my marriage to see what God’s plan is for my life. This indeed has been a journey of tears and sorrow. I pwill freely admit times hurt like hell, put myself in a very dark place in my head. Depression kicked my ass for a time.

It’s when at my darkest moment, contemplating hurting myself. Because life didn’t make sense for me to even stay on this earth. It was at this moment that it came to me, that if I was going to save my own life despite the fact that I honestly felt worthless.

Spiritual life here I come! It’s taken prayer, visualization, church, and Christian friends to help guide my way. In my darkest moments, I tell God I am not losing this time I am with God. If you’ve read my blog, you will know the miracles that have blessed my life in the last few months. Without hesitation, my life right now is a miracle gift from God.

So today when it sucks that I have to move on and forward. “I am.” Just like any other day I pray to God “this time is for you, not I and I am not losing anymore.”

If you’re going through a break-up or divorce. I as you feel the pain, loss, and hurt. Just don’t believe life is over. It’s not easy, but if you decide you win this time, your new destiny will be more than you imagined or asked God for. Stay strong and please send me a note below if you need to vent!

God Bless!!!

spiritual

Give Up Control Have Faith

One of the hardest things for me to let go of is my wanting to control aspects of my life. If you’re going to have faith in the Universe (God) you have to let, go. It can’t be a negotiation with God over what part of your life he will run and what part we will run.

 No matter what we must give him full control. It does not mean that you say okay God I need my life saved because of this issue whatever that might be. Then do nothing. It will take work on your part to have the patience that God works in his good time.

Learning to become a better person, doing good works in your life to bring a better you to the world. Worry about that over what the outcome will be. The outcome is completely out of your control. The moment you say I got this and you impose your will to that which is in disarray. Nothing positive happens, form that.

We must learn to live not in our head but our soul. You must think about this for a while. How do I do the work?

Here is an example of working in faith:

Let’s say your marriage is at total risk of divorce. Separated, not talking it’s terrible. You want to call your spouse all the time, trying to work it out. How do we get through this time letting God work through us? Let’s say you know you want this person, you know you want the marriage, but the other partner does not at this time.

Here is how we work from our spiritual side and not our head.

 

  • Pray to God for guidance for YOUR life. Ask him where he would like you to be. Don’t beg him to fix your marriage, never begin prayer. He hears you, don’t beg.
  • Start doing things that bring a better you to the marriage should it come to pass that you get back together. Read books, go to therapy, pray for God’s will to be done in your life. God’s will not
  • Allow for time to pass. If it’s God’s will for the two of you to be together, you will be. Be open to the idea that maybe this person is getting moved out of your life so that your destiny can reveal itself. You don’t know! Let life open to you, not because of you! Think!
  • The pain you suffer will pass. It’s the equivalent of someone passing away when we lose a spouse. Don’t listen to all the garbage in your head, “well if I could tell them this, they would understand” stop it now. If you look to the trash in your head, you will lose for sure.
  • Have faith that no matter what happens your life will be better for this trial. If you get back together and all is well. Or if you end up divorced and life presents a NEW season for you.

If you seriously want change, then you must be willing to change. Some pain will come to our heart. Here is the real kicker. It may not work out but on the other hand, it might. Have faith that everything will turn out just as it should. Be open-hearted to receive God’s favor.Happy, Marriage, Spouse

However, should you desire change to happen naturally? Then who knows what life has in-store for you. Believe me, and I do understand the pain of a breakup. At times it can be debilitating. We have to look up and say “okay God I don’t understand, and right now I don’t get it” then be willing to help ourselves, but let God handle our outcome.

I don’t doubt your pain. What I can tell you is if you follow in faith that life will open up to you as it should, life will get better. It will begin to get better quickly with faith. You may have to talk to God hundreds of times a day. That’s okay. He has an open ear ready to hear you. In situations like divorce, financial and loss we tend to beg God. Don’t beg in prayer.

When you pray, have it be about the outcome you desire. “I thank you, God, for the healing you have brought to the hearts of my spouse and me.” Pray as though you already have that which you desire as if you already have it. Don’t ask for something to be fixed; it already is through your faith in God.

God will unfold for you the destiny of your life. That may be something completely different than what you expected. The fantastic news is that it will be bigger, better, more joy, more peace and so much more than you could have ever supposed to happen. That is the fantastic gift that awaits you if you will only have faith!

spiritual

Grateful, Are you?

Grateful. If anything in this life can make it better, being grateful is number one. If you can’t be thankful for what you have then sadly you may be stuck.

Let me give you a prime example. Finances could not be worse. Relationships are in the toilet, you’re about to lose everything. I mean everything. Life looks hopeless. Every turn is some new problem, nothing is getting better. What do you have to be grateful for if life seems like it’s flushing you down the toilet?

• Health, if reasonably healthy then indeed you are blessed. If you don’t believe that tell it to someone that has just been diagnosed with terminal cancer. Ask them if health is not everything.

• The ability to work. If you can stand upright, you have a body that functions you can accomplish. This is something to be grateful for.

• Children healthy? That is a real gift.

• Supportive spouse. A right partner is a beautiful blessing.

• A car that runs to get you to work. A bus that is close to getting you to work.

If you look closely enough, we all have things to put gratitude in our hearts. Without it, you will stifle your growth. With it, God will enrich your life. I see it every day in my own life. When I live in gratitude things happen for me out of the blue. A small break here, a big break there. At the end of the day, I feel stronger. The trials in my life may still be there, but every day I take a bite out of them.

The key is to be grateful for even the smallest blessing. How can God bless your life if you don’t thank him for even the most minor blessing? It’s still a blessing. I received $16 in cash from the post office for a PO box I had. I owe thousands of dollars I could have looked at this a couple of ways. I chose to be excited it was something I was not expecting, out of the blue favor from God.

Today if God saw fit to bless me with a penny I would be just as excited if he saw fit to bestow me with a thousand dollars. Be grateful for the smallest things, then God can bless you with the big stuff. It has to be genuine though. Don’t be smarty pants and say “Oh look a penny.” Be seeded in faith and gratitude.

This is an area that I struggle as well. Everything you read from successful people is grateful for what you have. Look around you. We all have things to be thankful for. Blessings come disguised as a smile from a complete stranger, someone allows you in front of them, you can breathe, your health, I could list hundreds more.

Don’t let yourself get caught up in a whirlwind of garbage to the point you forget to be grateful. Blessings could be just around the bend if you stop and just say thank you. Even when finding anything to be thankful for seems distant or hopeless.

Try! I will pray for anyone reading this that you find one small blessing in your life, that being grateful for the most minor of blessings will open the door for God to do amazing things in your life.

self help, god, faith

family

Out of the Blue from YOU

Okay everyone today is a challenge, a fun challenge for you to do.

When you get home today to your family. I want you to for no reason at all grab your spouse hug them like you’ve never hugged them before. The question flying out of the mouth of your spouse “what’s this all about”?

The answer needs to come from your heart. Be grateful you have someone that is your spouse. Remember the moment you fell in love with that person. Take that love energy and release that connection in your hug. Feel the energy of your bodies embraced in a simple hug. Let that person know you feel blessed, happy and in love.Family, love, kids, spouse

If you have kids, get them off a game and do the same. Hug them like you’ve never hugged them before. Let them feel your love and how special they are to you.

Do this with NO expectation. Just LOVE your family for no other reason than LOVE.

Take your cell phone and turn it off. Be present at the moment. Don’t ask about work, how was your day. Just look your family in the eye and just say I love you! That’s it, that’s all. I know in my heart this will be a fantastic experience.

A beautiful surprise is when you can be totally present at the moment and show true love. We get busy, frustrated with life, the list goes on. Take time tonight when you get home to remind your spouse and kids if you have them. How much they truly mean to you. Express your love.

We need to remember kindness, love, and a connectedness to our significant loved ones. I am guilty of not recognizing to be present at the moment with my family. To allow life’s stresses to come home with me. We all do it. Tonight surprise your family, even if it’s just your pet, show them, extra special love, today.

I want to hear stories, so I hope you will come back and share.