Today has been a challenging day, not so much for me but for a Veteran, his family who happen to be clients.
This morning, I received a phone call from the wife who asked me to cancel a deal; I had consummated with them a few days earlier. My question was why.
She exclaimed to me that her husband, a disabled veteran from the Vietnam war, had broken down because of the catastrophe in Afghanistan. Seeing stories of the men and women killed and the young lives lost was simply more than he could bear.
He has PTSD and horrible memories of friends lost in the war he fought in. Only to see the Government throw away lives he and thousands of others served to protect.
His wife spoke with me uncontrollably, crying, believing that this episode has taken her husband over the edge, shattered my heart.
Doing the best, I tried to comfort her and told her not to worry about anything; we would figure out how to back out of contracts and documents that were in process. We successfully stopped the transaction with many folks involved doing their part to help a Veteran and his family.
Suppose you are a Veteran or active military from any war. Don’t EVER believe that your service did not matter. It damn sure matters to me and thousands of others like me. Just because a government fails you, do not for one moment believe that you failed its citizens, your fellow countryman.
My Uncle, a Colonel, served in the United States Air Force, saw Vietnam and Iraq under two Bush Presidents. Like so many other families in America, we are proud of our military.
We never know what a fellow human being is going through. So, take time to be kind!
What I can promise you, debt will bring if you don’t manage debt and let debt manage you!
For so many people in this world, debt can be debilitating. Shopping with friends and you get asked: “would you like to apply for a credit card?” You qualify and here we go.
Most young people are never really taught the importance of good credit and managing money properly.
Debt – noun
something, typically money that is owed or due.
Here are the promises debt makes and will keep:
Constant stress over how you will pay your credit cards or other bills at the end of the month.
Family stress. The number one killer of marriages is money. Buy homes we cannot afford, cars, furniture, clothes, on and on. Until the end of the month, and the dining table is covered in bills!
Parents working one or two jobs to make it from one paycheck to the next. Waking up to find children grown and bitter. Why? You were never there! To busy trying to make a living, you forget to have an experience.
The barrage of endless phone calls letting you know the obvious. You’re behind and we need a payment!
Picking which bill gets paid and who does not get any money this month.
Food vs. Credit
Feeling as though one wrong move and financially, you are ruined. Stress beyond limits!
Dark moments, suicidal thoughts all over bills.
Keeping up with the Jones’s only to find ourselves in bankruptcy.
Bad credit and loss of buying power. High rates of interest.
Imagine someone in your family deathly ill and you cannot come up with the money to travel. Another of debt’s promises!
Emotional purchases will sink your financial boat the quickest.
You go into a car dealership to buy a new car. You have a budget and payment in mind. Shopped online and narrowed down your search. All good stuff.
Upon arrival at the dealership, you begin to browse. “Wow look at this color, look at this car, check out these accessories.” All, of course, are on vehicles outside your budget. The internal battle begins. Metaphorically we’ve taken a raging alcoholic into a bar and said, don’t drink anything I will be back in an hour to pick you up! Only to come back and find your alcoholic passed out drunk.
If you do not control your spending, your debts will overtake your life. Guaranteed! Not too many things in this life come with a guarantee but debt does.
I have worked around consumer credit for thirty years now. Debt has also overtaken my life because I allowed it to get totally out of hand. The ten promises above are indicative of my own life. Poor choices have cost me plenty.
Parents or young people starting out. Educate yourself about credit and debt. Buying that beautiful $300 shirt that will make you look amazing. Won’t look so amazing at the end of the month if the money is not there to pay for it.
Sure, you can make the minimum payment and the $300 shirt becomes a $2000 shirt. Do the math on 26% interest and see what happens to the cost of just one item. Living paycheck-to-paycheck over several years. Chipping away at maxed-out credit cards will overtake your financial life.
Properly managed credit will make sure that your life will be filled with joy. Buying power and forethought to pay will allow you to own homes, cars, beautiful furniture, and other assets. With little to no stress.
TAKE EMOTION OUT OF ANY FINANCIAL EQUATION!
It does not sound fun, but the wake behind poor decisions can last years. Worse still ruin any chance you have of being a homeowner.
Imagine a mortgage broker coming back to you and saying, “unfortunately, YOUR credit will not allow us to give you a loan.” Devastating. Your credit prevents you and your spouse from homeownership. Sounds damned harsh because it is.
For those of you that follow the chronicles of Glitzy. One of the most spoiled dogs on the planet. She has again outdone herself! I wouldn’t have it any other way.
So, two nights ago, about 2:37 AM. I hear a bark coming from the living room. A precocious bark only Glitzy can make. Several attempts were made to call her to no avail.
The trek for the living room begins. Glitzy continue the sharp bark as I look at Glitzy to ask, “what do you want, Glitzy?” I’m scanning the room for toys, bones, or other potential daddies fetch for my items. Not seeing anything I sit on the couch.
Glitzy stands up and paws me as she does when asking to be picked up. Grabbing her, I put her on the couch. Immediately she makes a couple of turns and flops next to me to go back to sleep. She wanted to sleep on the couch and thought it was a good idea for me to be there with her.
She seriously called me down to the living room and wanted me to sit not lay on the couch so she could go back to sleep. Yes, diva is never too strong a word for my Glitzy.
Glitzy Obeying the Leash Law
Now we have gone from barking in bed at night for me to move so she can get a new spot she wants, too bringing me to the living room so she can sleep on the couch next to me on her couch blanket (yes Glitzy has couch blankets, floor blankets and blankets on the bed).
As I am typing this article, my fur baby is staring at me, as I suspect she will have me fetching something for her forthwith. I was right she has gone to the bedroom, now barking. It’s the afternoon so she will want me to lay down so she can watch a movie. If you’ve read about Glitzy, you will know she loves to watch movies.
For now, this is the end until Glitzy trains me to perform a new service for her!
When you’re focused on surviving, you will forget to dream. How can we turn that around? Are you ready to turn it around?
If so then read these few short bursts of wisdom that you can put into place right now. Those of you that read me know that “there is NO tomorrow, we have to get on it today.”
Survive mode is filled with fear, limiting beliefs, and of course, this stifles any progress. It’s way easier said than done to get from survival mode to actually have hope. Living paycheck-to-paycheck with one foot in ruin and the other on a banana peel.
This is something I suffer through most of my adult life. How do we get past the oppression of our own minds?
Here are some quick things you can begin right now:
Set reminders every day in your phone to alert you to stop and breathe. Take sixty seconds to relax and breathe. Breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth in a relaxed posture.
Take time daily to meditate. Learn to quiet your mind and focus on gratitude, hope, desires, and peace. Even if you cannot see any way to find any of these things in your own life. Just trust that it’s coming. The how is not essential the FAITH that it’s happening you have all that you desire. Do this, and the how will come!
Prayer is more powerful than anything else that you can try. Praying in faith that God has you! In my darkest moments, I just keep saying over-and-over “God has me, God has me.” This too is something that you may not see an answer, don’t look for it just recognize that whatever you pray for is coming to pass.
When you do these few things consistently and with indeed an open heart. The HOW will find you. Don’t give in to “well, there is just no way this is ever going to work out.” Keep saying that and you’re right!
Lesson learned for me was to trust that God has control, and every month, what I need is provided. Somehow life works out, so I am okay. It may be a close shave, but somehow, everything I need at that moment is provided.
Making excuses over-and-over again solves nothing. If you have nothing, no hope, what the heck do you have to lose by just trying? You don’t have to believe 100% to work, the belief will come. Take a step move forward; life is waiting!
You can dream, you can have hope you can be happy! Begin by just saying to yourself, “I am not losing anymore.”
Three things to begin to break the bondage of life. You cannot give up, this is going to take work, crying, kicking, screaming, and praying! We’ve all been there, and no person is alone. Reach out.
My new book, God is Your Coach out in Paperback and available on Kindle.
Take a look at chapter one:
The Title Fight
In this corner, wearing depression, despair, and no hope Me!
In the black corner wearing out my life, the enemy!
The enemy will work to keep you sufficiently depressed so that you won’t take steps towards a new life. The attack can come in many forms, depression, self-doubt, or just merely giving in that this won’t work. Hogwash!
Change comes at a price. We’ve all heard the adage; nothing in this life is free. Nothing worth having is free. A beautiful life is worth the price we will pay to enjoy. There is hope, and it will come. However, we do have to navigate some attacks on our life.
As change begins to take hold in our life, smiles on our face, a pep in our step and peace in our mind. Everything appears to be moving nicely. All the sudden the rug gets pulled out from under our feet and smash we go.
The first thing that comes to us is excellent “this doesn’t work.” I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! Precisely what the enemy wants you to believe. Loser, failure, and nothing you will try will work. All lies! Here is the rub, stay in faith. What??? I can hear you screaming. Will get to this further in the book, keep going.
Spiritual warfare for those of you new to a Christian life can disenchant most from staying with God. As humans, we tend to allow pain to numb our senses in a way that we accept a sort of mediocrity for our lives. Sad! How the enemy keeps us leashed — never allowing us to wander off too far.
You’re not too old, too weak, too young, or any other moniker you can place to defeat yourself. Are you not tired of kicking your ass? I know I was and that has prompted this book.
Beginning this process, you will come out swinging. Strong bold, and you feel that you can conquer the world. Then you take a shot to the gut that puts you right to the ground. Everything starts falling apart; all your work seems to be running down the drain.
Depression and self-doubt overtake your mind. Spiritual warfare has arrived. Keep in mind that trials and tribulations can take on any negative form. We’re using these analogies to set an expectation that whatever form attacks take they’re relentless.
Here are a couple of things you can do to help you with immediate changes in your state-of-mind:
Take 60 seconds and breathe. Cleansing breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth. Breathing will relax tension.
Get outside and walk to the end of the block. Walking will relieve tension. Focus on the beauty around you.
If you can get to a quiet place to meditate, relax your mind. Good, contemplate music.
You can almost immediately change your state of mind listening to music that moves you. Music is incredibly healing at the moment. Get your feet to move.
Changing your state-of-mind can bring peace. Everything is going to be okay; you have to get your head there. The preceding was temp solutions to get your head out of a dark place.
No matter the obstacles in your life, they’re all temporary. Think about some hard-times in your life. If you’re past them, something terrible that happened ten years ago, that at the time seemed devastating. You must see, you’re still here, everything is most likely calmer, settled and most importantly over. The monster is defeated.
This next part of the chapter is one of two articles I have written and included in this eBook that I think help bolster the message I want to get across in this eBook. Bits and pieces may be redundant, but I trust you will overlook that to receive the news.
When your feet hit the floor in the morning, let the Devil say, “Oh Shit He’s up!”
Our minds can exhaust us to the point we feel like we’ve been in a heavyweight title fight. Pardon the cliché, but you are sick and tired of being sick and tired. What I want to prepare you for is the title fight that is coming. The enemy will see a change in you for good. All the sudden, you went from being depressed to having hope.
Jesus paid for your sins on the cross. I am not going to pretend to be a theologian and quote scripture. What I did do is start attending a great Bible-based church. Began to study the word of God. You have protection from the enemy; you can yourself cast him out of your head (No you’re not Reagan McNeil from the Exorcist). God supplies all the tools you need. You must show up for work.
Part of your job will be to follow the path I am laying down. Find an excellent Bible-based Church. Not hard to find and you may need to attend a couple before you see one that you feel is home. You will need the tools, and foundation for Christ to win the fight to come.
The enemy will come at you hard. WHY, because he is afraid to lose you to the right side. He wants your soul; he wants you to fail! You have free will so that it will become a choice. I would cry so hard thinking God seems pissed at me for all the things I have done in my life and losing hope that God wanted nothing to do with me. NOT TRUE! Learning from the study, Church and the Bible God loves me. It is the enemy that has the hold on us, not God. Rest easy dear friends. It is good and evil in this world it took me a while to understand. Sharing this first thing will sound a bit scary. You will have a better understanding that the difficulties to come are manageable with the right tools. God says, “No weapon formed against me will prosper.” Remember you have all the promises the Bible says we have. You must start believing with unwavering faith. God wants you to think about it before you receive it. Try it; this is where I stumbled hard.
Friends would tell me that God will never give you more than you can handle. I hated hearing that. The problem is it’s true. You can’t fight for the heavyweight championship of the world without getting knocked on your backside a few times. You will find the strength just as I did. Even from the darkest depths of your mind, a path to peace is available for anyone who seeks order.
Women readers who are moms can relate to this. Labor pains are excruciating, but the result is the greatest joy of your life. Once you go through labor and deliver yourself from hell, you’ve created in your head. The sooner the greatest joy in your life will be at hand.
Remembering always that the enemy will fill your mind with doubt, fear, this will never work. What happens is when you believe you’ll quit. Then the enemy wins. The only loser in this fight is you. It may seem as though God is not listening to you. He is, I thought this so many times. I would scream at God in my vehicle “get in the game” why are you forsaking me. He is not; the devil is treacherous in your mind.
You will learn to live with your soul, not your head. The mind will never win over your destiny. What you can control is how quickly you see your future reveal itself. Frustration, hate, anger, despair will only cause you to delay your life moving forward. You must begin to see yourself happy, joyous, and free of pain. Don’t scream, “I can’t do it.” If you do, you’re right. None of this is easy to hear; I get that!
What I am telling you is if you get knocked down get up. Tell yourself NOT THIS TIME; I get to win this time. Get that loser mentality out of your head. It won’t come all at once. You must recondition your mind for good. If you have suffered for a long-time change won’t happen overnight.
The mind will fight you to the point of utter exhaustion during a marathon where you will hit the wall many times. Just like marathon runners, you convince yourself that it’s a mind trick; it’s not your reality. Reality is you already have, peace, love, and happiness. We as Christians must learn to accept it. You think acceptance would be easy, for most it’s not. Stay in faith even when you don’t seem to have confidence in anything. Tell God you don’t see a way, but you trust he will make a move!
One of the most important things I can tell you. Don’t help God, don’t impose your will on a situation that needs Gods hand not yours — for example, separated from your spouse. It’s a situation that you did not want, hit you out of the blue and you’re heartbroken. You call your spouse saying I promise I will change; I love you, please let’s work it out. That’s imposing your will. It’s not you are helping even though you think you’re fighting for your marriage. STOP!
If you want to trust God for a change in your life follow along in this book, I share what mistakes I made so you can have greater insight. You need to believe that God is handling the heart of both you and your spouse. You are jumping in does not help. Trust that if you give your marriage to God, asking him for his will be done. Someone asked me two questions:
Do you want a perfect, loving, happy marriage?
Do you want your spouse back with no change?
Relationships meant to be will be. Maybe, God is moving this person out of your life to make room for your deep down in your soul exact right person to appear when we let our destiny unfold naturally what a blessed life we will have.
It’s not always easy to see clearly during times of adversity. Remember we’re in a title fight for our life. The enemy will put horrible, terrible things in our head or before us. We can get betrayed; our life shattered into pieces.
How you get up and tell the enemy “that’s all you got” I have the power of God almighty who controls my life. A quote I love, “when your feet hit the floor in the morning, the Devil says oh shit he’s up. “Anything beats living a life of misery. It’s where I am at, and I pray you are too. Now is our time and “I ain’t going down no more”—Rocky Balboa
The fight will come hard, but if you keep reading, you will find the help you need to get up and fight even harder. The tools you will learn will make those fights fewer. Your spiritual armor will see you through.
Stay strong because God is getting ready to show out in your life in ways you could never have imagined. Your blessings are on the other side of this battle; what was meant for your harm God will bless your life in ways that only he can.
The stronger the attack, the bigger the blessing. Crazy, but when you get kicked right in the gut hard. When you walk trusting God, you know, he is getting you ready to show out in your life! The pain you may encounter along the way in strengthening your resolve. Helping you be able to face anything the enemy throws in your approach to disrupt your life.
Everything I am writing about what I have experienced. So, if you’re saying what does this guy know about my pain, he won’t understand what I’m going through in my life. It’s because I’ve lived it same as you. I choose not to lose any more! Hope you come along!
Are you ready for some good news?
What if you could look at all this doom & gloom as coaching experience. That with a different perspective to life’s challenges you could get through with expectations of winning. You’re excited to face these challenges with a new open mind. You believe now that you will win no matter the obstacles.
Well, friends get ready for chapter two because you are about to learn how to WIN!
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