Own that Shi*

We know that in September, we will wander through the warm winds of summer’s wreckage. We will welcome summer’s ghost.”—Henry Rollins

One of the most relaxed moments in a Movie for me was when Harley Quin tells El Diablo after he tells his story about his powers “Own that Shit, own it!”—Harley Quin (from the movie Suicide Squad).

This article is about “Own that shit.” Whatever your life has doled out to you own it. But I received divorce papers, my car got repossessed, my boyfriend cheated on me, Own it! Don’t make the tragic mistake of pawning your life’s shit onto someone else. There is a reason this sounds harsh. Hang with me here!

prayer, hope, happiness

The absolute only person on this earth that can save you is you. Owning our shit means not being the victim. My ex-wife wanted a divorce, I never did. Until I was able to hold that shit, I was an absolute mess. When I realized over time that my destiny is in another direction from hers. If I want to understand what God truly has for me, then I need to head down a new path.

Own the fact that whatever befalls your life you inevitably must own it. The great news is you can. Learning to accept the trials of your life will open a whole new unimaginable freedom. Not a day goes by that I don’t recognize regret in my own life. We all have regrets. It’s taking ownership that indeed mistakes, defeats may come and go. Accept them and move on past summers ghost.

Everything in our life is seasonal. As we learn to own our experience good or bad, we will march through to the next adventure in our life. Not all movies have a happy ending, but, we still go see them. If you’ve never seen the movie Steel Magnolias, this movie will bring out real raw emotion. A loss that tears the very fabric of your life.

When you can turn tragedy in, own it, accept it, you can truly move on. Yes, some loss is monstrous and will require periods of mourning. However, at some point in time to begin your life anew. You simply need to own it.  Accept that life will move on without your participation. Ask yourself if your pain worth your life?

For example, if your child sees you cry, do they not come to you and say, “are you okay, please don’t cry.” Why, because they’ve heard you ask them the same question. In this scenario, you lose this child to cancer. The pain is unimaginable, to the point you truly just want to die. Ask yourself if your child was before you in this sad state, would they not want you to not cry and feel better? Loss is far-and-away the worse pain we as humans will ever experience.

At some point in time, we will have to own that pain. Accept what it is that nothing in this world will change the circumstance. We can wish it, pray for it, scream at God for it, but nothing will change. The only thing that can is me/you!

When my wife filed for divorce it for a time devastated my life. I did not want to know “nothing from nothing.” No amount of crying, yelling at God or the depression I fell in would change the outcome. I simply had to own it. Realize that for as much as I wish we could be together, that part of my life was over. The real question: just because that part of your life is over does that mean the rest of my life is over as well? Of course, it does not! A new dawn, the destiny God truly has for you is waiting, own it.

Through our pain, we learn to own our life. We learn to accept that life will throw a fastball that hits you right in the noodle and knocks you the fuck out. You can stay down, or you can Own that Shit! When you can tell the enemy let me promise you one thing when I wake up every morning the first words out of your mouth will be “Oh Shit he’s Up!” (a phrase you perhaps have read like a quote, can ring true in your life).

Coming to terms with owning our life good or bad. You will find peace, hope, faith, love, and courage. I did it and so can you, God Bless!

Comments or Questions:

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Prayer it just Might be all you Have in the Moment

“It doesn’t matter how you pray. Just pray. All religions are beautiful, and they all have one common belief. There’s something bigger and greater than us that can give us and take from us life. It is better than the here and now.”–Mattie Stepanek  

Prayer often times all we have in our darkest moments. My belief when we have nothing but prayer to hang onto. This is God giving us his private number to call.

At this moment, don’t beg for what you need, don’t need something for you. What you need is God’s favor upon your life. We must learn gratitude in the face of total ruin. If you learn from the quote, take a moment to learn about Mattie Stepanek.

spiritual, pray, Jesus

This little boy died in 2004, but before this amazing lads final day, he left the world a much better place than he found it.

From Mattie’s website:

Mattie J.T. Stepanek, a well-respected poet, and award-winning peace activist lived a life that was brief in length but powerfully blessed with depth. Born on July 17, 1990, Mattie began creating and sharing Heartsongs at the young age of 3. He explained that Heartsongs are “gifts that reflect each person’s unique reason for being.”

Mattie ultimately published six collections of his Heartsongs poetry books and one collection of Just Peace essays and e-mail correspondence with Former President Jimmy Carter. All seven of Mattie’s books became New York Times Bestsellers and touched millions of lives around the world.

He died on June 22, 2004, due to complications of Dysautonomic Mitochondrial Myopathy. Visit Mattie’s website: http://www.mattieonline.com/

My point to all this is. No matter what life throws at you, and for this beautiful child, it was a lot. You can choose life, or you can roll up and die. No matter the circumstance in our own lives, we can go to God in prayer.

God knows what you need, so just tell him to thank you for bringing it to you. Be grateful. Yes, I can hear many of you saying this child Mattie died where God was in that? Beyond our comprehension, it was Mattie’s destiny (hugely painful loss) to go home. We will never understand the reason but will need to accept that while he was here, he touched many souls. His gifts live on in his books.

This child if anything taught us that no matter what this life throws at you; choose to live or want to die. It is a choice. This precious child decided to live.

Our stewardship of his legacy is that we follow our hearts in prayer just as Mattie spoke. As he said, “Just Pray!”

Just as Mattie died from a disease, we will never comprehend. You too may be suffering through something in your life beyond comprehension. Makes no sense and seems terribly unfair. On some level, it might be. The choice is ours how we choose to live. When we go to God in prayer, life will open up in ways, none of us expected. In a good idea!

Life can throw at us losses we will never comprehend. It’s our obligation to that loss, to live. It might hurt from time-to-time but live we must!

If you’re in pain, I pray that God gives you the wisdom, strength, and hope to see your way clear of the rocky shoals ahead. Once you clear them, you a free to navigate the seas open up for the next adventure.

God bless.

Family, I’m too Busy with Work

It’s your paycheck that pays for the care of your family. If you didn’t work the hours that you do, weekend and so on, life just wouldn’t be possible. You work hard to provide for your family entirely admirable. For years I thought the same thing.

If you’re so busy, you have no time for your family what the hell kind of life is that? It’s not a life because someday when your son or daughter is grown up you will be regretting the time lost. You can cloud this up all you want but the day will come. So let’s figure out how to manage work and life balance.

family, business, work

The first big hurdle to cross is the boss that says “sure you can go watch your kids’ ball game just pack this box with all your shit.” I actually have had several bosses who played that card. This I will admit is a tight position to find yourself in.

An even tougher thought to ponder is to say you do succeed, but you’ve missed every first thing, birthdays, and life events with your children. How do you ever get that back? You don’t! A very perplexing situation to find oneself.

We all want to get ahead in life, we want to give our family more than what we had. The problem is the cost. What are we willing to pay. From experience, I paid a lot. More than I should have because I missed a great many things. My son ounce sent me a picture of a child chasing a Dad, the bottom photo was the Dad chasing the child. Sad!

One damn sure thing you can never do; buy your child’s happiness or love. What you can provide is you! So how to find the balance?

Begin by making sure you make time every day if possible that you leave your phone, emails, and laptops. Allow yourself to be totally present in a moment with your child. Don’t answer the phone and say Daddy or Mommy has to take this. Don’t dismiss your child as you would a co-worker.

Finding balance requires you to be completely present at the moment. You want to sell yourself that a client can’t wait an hour to hear from you (I get time-sensitive jobs, but you need to find a time when the market is closed, see my point). Spending uninterrupted time with your children, time with them while you are on the phone is NO GOOD! Block out time that is the children’s time!

Some will say this is a nieve look at job vs. family. That it’s your job that pays for your families life. If you asked one adult child, who’s parents gave them an incredible home, everything they could ever want. If you asked that child what if anything could you change, all would tell you more time with the parent that was absent. You can’t buy a family or love.

Make real-time for kids to experience what you have to offer. Maybe you can’t be there all the time, but be present in the moment. Don’t miss firsts or birthdays! You can never get them back; I don’t care how many birthday ponies you give. Turn off phones and be with your kids! You won’t regret you did, ever!

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