Offer emotional support, understanding, patience, and encouragement.
Talk to him or her and listen carefully.
Never dismiss feelings but point out realities and offer hope.
Never ignore comments about suicide and report them to your loved one’s therapist or doctor.
Invite your loved one out for walks, outings, and other activities. Keep trying if he or she declines, but don’t push him or her to take on too much too soon.
Aid in getting to doctors’ appointments.
Remind your loved one that with time and treatment, the depression will lift.
Caring for someone with depression is not easy. Someone with depression may need constant support for an extended period. Make sure you leave time for yourself and your own needs. If you feel you need additional assistance, there are support groups for caregivers too.
Helping someone with depression can be a real task. The person may be in a pit and become verbally combative when insisted on getting moving to a therapy appointment or maybe just to the shower.
Remember, it’s the depression lashing out or talking to you. Just like someone drunk, it’s the liquor talking. Boundaries can be set; however, patience is the call of the day.
*U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, National Institutes of Health, National Institute of Mental Health. (2015). Depression (NIH Publication No. 15-3561). Bethesda, MD: U.S. Government Printing Office.
For those of you that follow the chronicles of Glitzy. One of the most spoiled dogs on the planet. She has again outdone herself! I wouldn’t have it any other way.
So, two nights ago, about 2:37 AM. I hear a bark coming from the living room. A precocious bark only Glitzy can make. Several attempts were made to call her to no avail.
The trek for the living room begins. Glitzy continue the sharp bark as I look at Glitzy to ask, “what do you want, Glitzy?” I’m scanning the room for toys, bones, or other potential daddies fetch for my items. Not seeing anything I sit on the couch.
Glitzy stands up and paws me as she does when asking to be picked up. Grabbing her, I put her on the couch. Immediately she makes a couple of turns and flops next to me to go back to sleep. She wanted to sleep on the couch and thought it was a good idea for me to be there with her.
She seriously called me down to the living room and wanted me to sit not lay on the couch so she could go back to sleep. Yes, diva is never too strong a word for my Glitzy.
Now we have gone from barking in bed at night for me to move so she can get a new spot she wants, too bringing me to the living room so she can sleep on the couch next to me on her couch blanket (yes Glitzy has couch blankets, floor blankets and blankets on the bed).
As I am typing this article, my fur baby is staring at me, as I suspect she will have me fetching something for her forthwith. I was right she has gone to the bedroom, now barking. It’s the afternoon so she will want me to lay down so she can watch a movie. If you’ve read about Glitzy, you will know she loves to watch movies.
For now, this is the end until Glitzy trains me to perform a new service for her!
If I asked you to make a choice right now to be happy, but you’re suffering through a terrible divorce. Could you be satisfied just by making that choice? The short answer is yes! Before you hit the refund, button hears me out.
What stops you from choosing to be happy in a moment is you. I should say years of conditioning yourself that you can’t just simply change. Why can’t you? Should be the real question.
Let’s take our divorce scenario to a little higher level. If divorce is imminent even though you don’t want a divorce.
Stay bitter, sad, emotionally done, not having any thought as to a new future.
“Choose” to be happy. Yes, the person whom your life revolved around is gone. The Universe, in its infinite wisdom, is taking you down a new path. Presuppose for a moment that this new life if given a chance, has more love, joy, happiness, and fulfillment than you ever thought possible.
If you choose to be happy, “Option B” certainly has more promise. The simple act of choosing one from another is incredibly powerful.
Over a year ago someone that I am proud to call a friend explained away my own pain from divorce like this: “If you could have your wife back today and go right back to the way things were, OR, you could have the relationship you never thought possible. Which would you choose?”
That’s when I knew that I had to make a choice for myself. If something in your life is meant to be, then it shall.
The real rub is that for years-and-years, we conditioned our minds towards limiting beliefs. We end up saying:
If I just change, she will come back.
If I learn to keep my mouth shut.
If I lose twenty pounds.
The problem is NOT you, it’s the paradigm that is so entrenched in your head you can’t shake it off. Using the divorce analogy just scrapes the surface of this problem. This book is not a “how to get over divorce” book. NO, far from it.
How to change limiting beliefs, the unknowing lies we tell ourselves every day. What our journey well reveals to us, we can make a choice and move on, NOW!
Yes, friends easier said than done. However, very doable. With some guided practice, you can learn to decide, stick with it, no regrets, and blaze a trail for others to follow. Pardon the cliché!
How do you we make these changes you ask? Training our minds to a new healthy reality. Who says you can’t do something; you need only look in the mirror? That’s who!
How many years have you heard phrases like?
You/I don’t have that kind of luck.
No education, you can’t do that.
You’re too fat.
You’re too skinny.
You’re not part of that social group.
Oh, honey, why don’t you lower your sights to something more realistic.
From as many years ago as you’re able to remember we’ve all heard the limiting phrases getting stuffed into our mind.
What is being communicated to you is, “If I can’t do you surely cannot.” By well-meaning parents, family, friends, and other well-wishers. So, if these lovely people are telling me this, it must be true. NO, not only NO; HELL NO!
The only person on this planet that knows whether YOU can do anything is YOU! It does not matter what your Mom, Dad, Grandmother, Friend, Boss, has to say about what you can do. The ONLY person that knows is your period!
People close to you will naturally want you to play it safe. None of us want to see a friend hurt. Who the heck says you must hurt? I’m not shouting at the top of my lungs “oh God, don’t write the first Novel you failed English literature.”
Again, I go back to the systematic brainwashing society shoves down our brain. How many folks have completed Marathons in wheelchairs or with lost limbs? Hundreds if not thousands. Why Choice! The choice NOT to allow something horrific to bring them down.
Mediocrity is a disease of the mind. It’s a cure; “Choice!”
How to break free, so Choice comes at will.
Meditation / Prayer: see yourself through this practice as free of limitation. That my life, my choice to see it through as a vessel of the Universe. Not some, “I don’t have this or that mentality.”
Put the affirmation “Choice” Refrigerator, bathroom mirror, reminders on your phone daily.
Learn to believe in yourself. Take the training wheels off your life. When you feel you can’t do something learn to ask yourself; who said! With enough training and knowledge, you can bloody well do anything you want!
Practice, Practice, Practice! Do not give up or in at the first sign of difficulty. This is something you must want as much as air. We’ve all heard the businessman who asked a guru “how do I become successful,” the Guru replied, “meet me at the beach at 6:00 AM and don’t be late.” The next morning the businessman is on time, and the Guru takes him out into the water up to there chest. The Guru grabs the man and holds his head down in the water until the man was in great distress. Lifting the man out of the water, the businessman screams, “Why did you do that?” The Guru calmly replies, “When you want success as-bad-as, you wanted to breathe, then you will find success!”
Gain knowledge. The reason people quit is insufficient knowledge. If people aren’t saying to you, “Wow, I have no idea you could do that.” If the wow factor is not WOW, then gain more knowledge. Become a voracious reader.
Nothing on God’s good earth prevents you from achieving anything. If you set your mind to something, trust that God will give you the knowledge, and move the Universe into alignment for you. Believe that as much as you want to breathe (like our Guru analogy).
All it takes is a choice. Your choice to stay status quo or your choice to live a life most would only dream about.
“Infuse your life with action. Don’t wait for it to happen. Make it happen. Make your own future. Make your own hope. Make your own love. And whatever your beliefs, honor your creator, not by passively waiting for grace to come down from upon high, but by doing what you can to make grace happen… yourself, right now, right down here on Earth.”–Bradley Whitford
This is a little sneak peek from the new book I am working on Tying it All Together. So many books out there that fix this or that. As part of the Life Research Project, we begin to pull all of my books into one.
What was always lacking for me in self-improvement was solving a little piece of the puzzle when I needed a complete life change, total immersion.
Enjoy this from a current book project Tying it All Together.
“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.”—Thomas A. Edison
First, we get out of our language anything to do with lack. The “I can’t” or “I don’t have” is not part of the English language of your new life.
Second, nay Sayers are just that. People who can’t do a thing themselves and naturally you can’t either if you listen to that bilge. What you’re now looking for are Mentors, people who uplift you.
Throughout history, people have done things that others said could not be done. Or invented things that folks need. All the while, naysayers are “It can’t be done.” Horse hockey!
Limiting beliefs are placed in our sub-conscious over years of saying I can’t. This is also not limited to just that phrase. Years and years of self-defeating language has us convinced we cannot.
Dogpile on top of that, family, friends, managers, whomever, telling you that you don’t have what it takes, you don’t have the education, people who do that are gifted. What? You can teach yourself anything.
Okay, I give. You can’t teach yourself to be a brain surgeon. My point with this statement is I doubt you’re looking to become a brain surgeon, don’t overthink what your ability can or cannot achieve. Start, try, give it a shot, jump, swim, just begin is the point!
So, in this chapter, we’re going to start replacing limiting language and thoughts. How you say, well I have an answer for that. Without this step in the process, later in the book, you will have more difficulty if you don’t make the changes now.
What do we have to change:
Replace limiting thoughts with thoughts of okay how do I achieve this (the what is irrelevant at this point).
Be aware of the language, the words that we use. I can’t, is NO longer a word in your mind’s dictionary. Don’t worry; I am going to share how to get rid of this stuff.
Self-defeating actions. Self-sabotage, and worst of all, procrastination.
There is a lot more to the life changes than just the three I listed. You get a general idea. As we move through chapters, we will cover a great deal more ground.
For many years we teach ourselves unknowingly that we can’t achieve certain things. Limiting beliefs are ingrained in our subconscious mind over the years. Taking time now to change this old habit and create new ones will take work and time.
Is your ass out of that bad at 4:00 AM every day. Ready to meet the day, be there when the break of a lifetime dumps right in your lap. Oh, wait you’re still in bed.
If you can’t get your ass out of bed. Why would I hire you? You need to tell people you get more done before 7:00 AM than most get done in a day!
“A life of leisure and a life of laziness are two things. There will be sleeping enough in the grave.”–Benjamin Franklin
Questions you seriously need to ask yourself:
Is sleeping in more important than my family?
Is sleeping in more important than my Success?
Is sleeping in more important than my Body temple?
Is sleeping in more important than my Workout?
We could list hundreds more. Go ahead, reach over, and hit the snooze button. Hell NO!
24-hour day – 6 hours sleep – 8-hour work day = 10-hours left to have a life! What are you prepared to do?
Stop convincing yourself morning-after-morning that you’re not a morning person. BS! The most exceptional salesperson in the world is you. You sell yourself everyday mediocrity, and you keep buying. Stop NOW selling yourself short in your life.
By the time you see this sunrise, you will have achieved more in your day than most will in an 8 hour day!
Mind over HELL YES IT MATTERS! How bad do you want to succeed? This is NOT a sacrifice but an investment in your success. We’ve talked about this before, if you feel anything you’re doing involves sacrifice. Rethink your position. Every step you take is one step closer to success in every aspect of your life, that is NO sacrifice!
Begin your day at 4:00 AM.
Or hit the snooze button and watch life pass you by. Who knows the person you can become if you get out of bed and blaze a trail for others to follow. For some of you by the time you get up the world has zipped by with opportunity, oh you were sleeping, huge break, oh you were sleeping, the love of your life was going to cross your path at the gym today, oh you were sleeping.
If your life right now does not wake you up. This is your wake up call it’s 4:00 AM and this day filled with your success! Or hit the snooze button, it’s a choice.
So just getting up is not enough. Here are some great investments you can make towards a great life:
Roll out of bed onto your knees and pray!
Set time aside to meditate.
Walk, take a brisk walk.
Study something that fills your mind with more knowledge.
Finish a project you’ve put off.
Feed your body healthy food, protein shakes, fresh juice. Take care of the body temple.
Eight simple things you can do all before 6:00 AM.
Here is food-for-thought:
1 hour of study per day = 365 Hours of research in one year! If knowledge is power, imagine 365 hours of it packed into your brain. Or you can hit the snooze button.
Change is not easy, but damn what are you waiting for. This is something I fight with myself every day. The voice in your head will convince you just five more minutes. Don’t get sold a sack of dog poo.
You will be in good company tomorrow morning if you wake up with me. At 4:00 AM I will look to the sky and say good morning, Dewayne “The Rock” Johnson will be hard at cardio, Bill Gates and Warren Buffet will be up. Not to mention the other winners just like YOU that say, “Enough is Enough its MY Time!”