What Debt Promises

What I can promise you debt will bring if you don’t manage debt and let debt manage you!

For so many people in this world, debt can be debilitating. Shopping with friends and you get asked: “would you like to apply for a credit card?” You qualify and here we go.

Most young people are never really taught the importance of good credit and managing money properly.

Debt – noun

something, typically money that is owed or due.

credit card, credit card bill, bankruptcy

Here are the promises debt makes and will keep:

  1. Constant stress over how you will pay your credit cards or other bills at the end of the month.
  2. Family stress. The number one killer of marriages is money. Buy homes we cannot afford, cars, furniture, clothes, on and on. Until the end of the month, and the dining table is covered in bills!
  3. Parents working one or two jobs to make it from one paycheck to the next. Waking up to find children grown and bitter. Why? You were never there! To busy trying to make a living, you forget to have an experience.
  4. The barrage of endless phone calls letting you know the obvious. You’re behind and we need a payment!
  5. Picking which bill gets paid and who does not get any money this month.
  6. Food vs. Credit
  7. Feeling as though one wrong move and financially, you are ruined. Stress beyond limits!
  8. Dark moments, suicidal thoughts all over bills.
  9. Keeping up with the Jones’s only to find ourselves in bankruptcy.
  10. Bad credit and loss of buying power. High rates of interest.

Imagine someone in your family deathly ill and you cannot come up with the money to travel. Another of debt’s promises!

Emotional purchases will sink your financial boat the quickest.

For example:

You go into a car dealership to buy a new car. You have a budget and payment in mind. Shopped online and narrowed down your search. All good stuff.

Upon arrival at the dealership, you begin to browse. “Wow look at this color, look at this car, check out these accessories.” All, of course, are on vehicles outside your budget. The internal battle begins. Metaphorically we’ve taken a raging alcoholic into a bar and said, don’t drink anything I will be back in an hour to pick you up! Only to come back and find your alcoholic passed out drunk.

If you do not control your spending, your debts will overtake your life. Guaranteed! Not too many things in this life come with a guarantee but debt does.

I have worked around consumer credit for thirty years now. Debt has also overtaken my life because I allowed it to get totally out of hand. The ten promises above are indicative of my own life. Poor choices have cost me plenty.

Parents or young people starting out. Educate yourself about credit and debt. Buying that beautiful $300 shirt that will make you look amazing. Won’t look so amazing at the end of the month if the money is not there to pay for it.

Sure, you can make the minimum payment and the $300 shirt becomes a $2000 shirt. Do the math on 26% interest and see what happens to the cost of just one item. Living paycheck-to-paycheck over several years. Chipping away at maxed-out credit cards will overtake your financial life.

Properly managed credit will make sure that your life will be filled with joy. Buying power and forethought to pay will allow you to own homes, cars, beautiful furniture, and other assets. With little to no stress.

TAKE EMOTION OUT OF ANY FINANCIAL EQUATION!

It does not sound fun, but the wake behind poor decisions can last years. Worse still ruin any chance you have of being a homeowner.

Imagine a mortgage broker coming back to you and saying, “unfortunately, YOUR credit will not allow us to give you a loan.” Devastating. Your credit prevents you and your spouse from homeownership. Sounds damned harsh because it is.

What can help:

  • Check out books by great financial folks like Dave Ramsey, Suze Orman, let experts guide you.
  • Check out the credit reporting agencies: Equifax, Trans Union, and Experian. Lots of excellent free resources.

If you have credit issues, you can recover. Start back small and work your way again. There is always hope and with diligence, you will be back on track.

Questions or comments:

Helping Someone Depressed

*To help your friend or relative:

 Offer emotional support, understanding, patience, and encouragement.

Talk to him or her and listen carefully.

Never dismiss feelings but point out realities and offer hope.

self improvement, hope, help

Never ignore comments about suicide and report them to your loved one’s therapist or doctor.

Invite your loved one out for walks, outings, and other activities. Keep trying if he or she declines, but don’t push him or her to take on too much too soon.

Aid in getting to doctors’ appointments.

Remind your loved one that with time and treatment, the depression will lift.

Caring for someone with depression is not easy. Someone with depression may need constant support for an extended period. Make sure you leave time for yourself and your own needs. If you feel you need additional assistance, there are support groups for caregivers too.

Helping someone with depression can be a real task. The person may be in a pit and become verbally combative when insisted on getting moving to a therapy appointment or maybe just to the shower.

Remember, it’s the depression lashing out or talking to you. Just like someone drunk, it’s the liquor talking. Boundaries can be set; however, patience is the call of the day.

*U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, National Institutes of Health, National Institute of Mental Health. (2015). Depression (NIH Publication No. 15-3561). Bethesda, MD: U.S. Government Printing Office.

Glitzy Trains Daddy to do New Trick

For those of you that follow the chronicles of Glitzy. One of the most spoiled dogs on the planet. She has again outdone herself! I wouldn’t have it any other way.

So, two nights ago, about 2:37 AM. I hear a bark coming from the living room. A precocious bark only Glitzy can make. Several attempts were made to call her to no avail.

The trek for the living room begins. Glitzy continue the sharp bark as I look at Glitzy to ask, “what do you want, Glitzy?” I’m scanning the room for toys, bones, or other potential daddies fetch for my items. Not seeing anything I sit on the couch.

Glitzy stands up and paws me as she does when asking to be picked up. Grabbing her, I put her on the couch. Immediately she makes a couple of turns and flops next to me to go back to sleep. She wanted to sleep on the couch and thought it was a good idea for me to be there with her.

She seriously called me down to the living room and wanted me to sit not lay on the couch so she could go back to sleep. Yes, diva is never too strong a word for my Glitzy.

Glitzy, pet, Dog

Glitzy Obeying the Leash Law

Now we have gone from barking in bed at night for me to move so she can get a new spot she wants, too bringing me to the living room so she can sleep on the couch next to me on her couch blanket (yes Glitzy has couch blankets, floor blankets and blankets on the bed).

As I am typing this article, my fur baby is staring at me, as I suspect she will have me fetching something for her forthwith. I was right she has gone to the bedroom, now barking. It’s the afternoon so she will want me to lay down so she can watch a movie. If you’ve read about Glitzy, you will know she loves to watch movies.

Glitzy, Movies, Pets

For now, this is the end until Glitzy trains me to perform a new service for her!

Choice, Decide Already!

Choice

If I asked you to make a choice right now to be happy, but you’re suffering through a terrible divorce. Could you be satisfied just by making that choice? The short answer is yes! Before you hit the refund, button hears me out.

What stops you from choosing to be happy in a moment is you. I should say years of conditioning yourself that you can’t just simply change. Why can’t you? Should be the real question.

Let’s take our divorce scenario to a little higher level. If divorce is imminent even though you don’t want a divorce.

Two options:

Option A:

  • Stay bitter, sad, emotionally done, not having any thought as to a new future.

Option B:

  • “Choose” to be happy. Yes, the person whom your life revolved around is gone. The Universe, in its infinite wisdom, is taking you down a new path. Presuppose for a moment that this new life if given a chance, has more love, joy, happiness, and fulfillment than you ever thought possible.

If you choose to be happy, “Option B” certainly has more promise. The simple act of choosing one from another is incredibly powerful.

Over a year ago someone that I am proud to call a friend explained away my own pain from divorce like this: “If you could have your wife back today and go right back to the way things were, OR, you could have the relationship you never thought possible. Which would you choose?”

That’s when I knew that I had to make a choice for myself. If something in your life is meant to be, then it shall.

The real rub is that for years-and-years, we conditioned our minds towards limiting beliefs. We end up saying:

  • If I just change, she will come back.
  • If I learn to keep my mouth shut.
  • If I lose twenty pounds.

The problem is NOT you, it’s the paradigm that is so entrenched in your head you can’t shake it off. Using the divorce analogy just scrapes the surface of this problem. This book is not a “how to get over divorce” book. NO, far from it.

How to change limiting beliefs, the unknowing lies we tell ourselves every day. What our journey well reveals to us, we can make a choice and move on, NOW!

Prayer, self improvement, society

Choice do you really want me to pick?

Yes, friends easier said than done. However, very doable. With some guided practice, you can learn to decide, stick with it, no regrets, and blaze a trail for others to follow. Pardon the cliché!

How do you we make these changes you ask? Training our minds to a new healthy reality. Who says you can’t do something; you need only look in the mirror? That’s who!

Part 1:

How many years have you heard phrases like?

  • You/I don’t have that kind of luck.
  • No education, you can’t do that.
  • You’re too fat.
  • You’re too skinny.
  • You’re not part of that social group.
  • Oh, honey, why don’t you lower your sights to something more realistic.

From as many years ago as you’re able to remember we’ve all heard the limiting phrases getting stuffed into our mind.

What is being communicated to you is, “If I can’t do you surely cannot.” By well-meaning parents, family, friends, and other well-wishers. So, if these lovely people are telling me this, it must be true. NO, not only NO; HELL NO!

The only person on this planet that knows whether YOU can do anything is YOU! It does not matter what your Mom, Dad, Grandmother, Friend, Boss, has to say about what you can do. The ONLY person that knows is your period!

People close to you will naturally want you to play it safe. None of us want to see a friend hurt. Who the heck says you must hurt? I’m not shouting at the top of my lungs “oh God, don’t write the first Novel you failed English literature.”

Again, I go back to the systematic brainwashing society shoves down our brain. How many folks have completed Marathons in wheelchairs or with lost limbs? Hundreds if not thousands. Why Choice! The choice NOT to allow something horrific to bring them down.

Mediocrity is a disease of the mind. It’s a cure; “Choice!”

Part 2:

How to break free, so Choice comes at will.

  1. Meditation / Prayer: see yourself through this practice as free of limitation. That my life, my choice to see it through as a vessel of the Universe. Not some, “I don’t have this or that mentality.”
  2. Put the affirmation “Choice” Refrigerator, bathroom mirror, reminders on your phone daily.
  3. Learn to believe in yourself. Take the training wheels off your life. When you feel you can’t do something learn to ask yourself; who said! With enough training and knowledge, you can bloody well do anything you want!
  4. Practice, Practice, Practice! Do not give up or in at the first sign of difficulty. This is something you must want as much as air. We’ve all heard the businessman who asked a guru “how do I become successful,” the Guru replied, “meet me at the beach at 6:00 AM and don’t be late.” The next morning the businessman is on time, and the Guru takes him out into the water up to there chest. The Guru grabs the man and holds his head down in the water until the man was in great distress. Lifting the man out of the water, the businessman screams, “Why did you do that?” The Guru calmly replies, “When you want success as-bad-as, you wanted to breathe, then you will find success!”
  5. Gain knowledge. The reason people quit is insufficient knowledge. If people aren’t saying to you, “Wow, I have no idea you could do that.” If the wow factor is not WOW, then gain more knowledge. Become a voracious reader.

Nothing on God’s good earth prevents you from achieving anything. If you set your mind to something, trust that God will give you the knowledge, and move the Universe into alignment for you. Believe that as much as you want to breathe (like our Guru analogy).

All it takes is a choice. Your choice to stay status quo or your choice to live a life most would only dream about.

“Infuse your life with action. Don’t wait for it to happen. Make it happen. Make your own future. Make your own hope. Make your own love. And whatever your beliefs, honor your creator, not by passively waiting for grace to come down from upon high, but by doing what you can to make grace happen… yourself, right now, right down here on Earth.”–Bradley Whitford

Questions or Comments:

 

 

Tying it All Together, Sneak Peek

This is a little sneak peek from the new book I am working on Tying it All Together. So many books out there that fix this or that. As part of the Life Research Project, we begin to pull all of my books into one. 

What was always lacking for me in self-improvement was solving a little piece of the puzzle when I needed a complete life change, total immersion. 

Enjoy this from a current book project Tying it All Together.

self improvement, self help, life

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.”—Thomas A. Edison

First, we get out of our language anything to do with lack. The “I can’t” or “I don’t have” is not part of the English language of your new life.

Second, nay Sayers are just that. People who can’t do a thing themselves and naturally you can’t either if you listen to that bilge. What you’re now looking for are Mentors, people who uplift you.

Throughout history, people have done things that others said could not be done. Or invented things that folks need. All the while, naysayers are “It can’t be done.” Horse hockey!

Limiting beliefs are placed in our sub-conscious over years of saying I can’t. This is also not limited to just that phrase. Years and years of self-defeating language has us convinced we cannot.

Dogpile on top of that, family, friends, managers, whomever, telling you that you don’t have what it takes, you don’t have the education, people who do that are gifted. What? You can teach yourself anything.

Okay, I give. You can’t teach yourself to be a brain surgeon. My point with this statement is I doubt you’re looking to become a brain surgeon, don’t overthink what your ability can or cannot achieve. Start, try, give it a shot, jump, swim, just begin is the point!

So, in this chapter, we’re going to start replacing limiting language and thoughts. How you say, well I have an answer for that. Without this step in the process, later in the book, you will have more difficulty if you don’t make the changes now.

What do we have to change:

  1. Replace limiting thoughts with thoughts of okay how do I achieve this (the what is irrelevant at this point).
  2. Be aware of the language, the words that we use. I can’t, is NO longer a word in your mind’s dictionary. Don’t worry; I am going to share how to get rid of this stuff.
  3. Self-defeating actions. Self-sabotage, and worst of all, procrastination.

There is a lot more to the life changes than just the three I listed. You get a general idea.  As we move through chapters, we will cover a great deal more ground.

For many years we teach ourselves unknowingly that we can’t achieve certain things. Limiting beliefs are ingrained in our subconscious mind over the years. Taking time now to change this old habit and create new ones will take work and time.

Comments or questions: