Single Mom Living My Best Life

My New Book just published today. Enjoy the Introduction and you have a link at the bottom of the page to visit my Author Page available at Amazon.

A Guide for Extraordinary Change

single mothers, mom, parenting

Introduction

‘When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me.’”—Erma Bombeck

Well, let’s start with the obvious. I’m not a single Mom, and why should you listen to this dude?

How about answering a couple of questions first?

  1. What if you could learn self-confidence enough to crush all your goals?
  2. What if you could learn to earn more money than you ever have?

No, we’re not selling pipedreams!

I felt compelled to share my life experience, knowledge of business, my Christian faith for single moms that might be struggling to make ends-meat.

What I am suggesting to you is that if you lack confidence, don’t believe you can go any further than where you are right now. You could not be more wrong.

This book will teach you confidence building through faith.  How to overcome negative mindsets. Most importantly, how to not only sell how valuable you are but potentially find a career in sales. Perhaps even further in whatever endeavor YOU choose! How about an I want a job, not a have-to-have mundane job?

Sales skills can help you advance any job. When you can ethically build value in products or services, you offer. You will begin to see your career move like the wind. I will teach you to do this in a fun and engaging way.

Throughout the book, exercises, notes, and learning will occur. Get a notebook to have ready to do some fun work.

Taking our life and turning it on its axis, shaking it up, and on the other side is your joy, peace, and smile!

Many times, over the years, I have heard Pastors say. Bring everything to the Lord. Nothing is too big or small. Joel Osteen once said if God can bring into existence the Universe. Don’t you imagine he can bring into reality your dreams?

TD Jakes, who makes me laugh wonderfully. Talks about bringing wimpy prayers to God. He, too, uses the analogy God flung the universe into existence, and all you’re going to ask him for is, “Oh Lord, please, I need to pay my rent.” He, in a bold voice, says stop asking God to pay your rent but ask God for the means and way to have a mortgage.

With work and faith together in this book, we can move mountains.

Get all the stereotypical sales guy images out of your head, open your heart, and let’s learn! When I speak about sales skills if you can use your power of persuasion in the betterment of your life. Wow, watch what you can do!

Single moms of which by the way I was raised by one. Perhaps I have some insight given the struggles my Mother endured.

When I was three years old, my father took me, my little sister and mother to my maternal grandparents’ home. Dropped us off to never return. I can remember my mother from time-to-time crying uncontrollably.

Fast forward my life to times I remember how hard it was on my mom. One morning I remember when I was seven, maybe eight years old. My mother was in the bathroom, and I heard a crash and a break in the bathroom sink.

My mother had saved her money to by some sort of face cream, something just for her. It dropped and apparently broke in the sink to the point of being ruined. I remember hearing her crying so hard, saying, “I never ask for anything why?” “I saved for months to get this, oh God.”

It was haunting to me. I knew my mother’s heart was torn for something she had struggled so hard to get.

Over the years, my mother gave up her life for my sister and me. She never really dated because my sister and I had terrible times with she would leave us. We had abandonment issues so severe that my mother simply stopped trying to have her own life.

She also worked her ass off, never in my life can I remember that my mother took a sick day from work. Two times in her life, she was hospitalized for cysts in her breasts. Doctors wanted to do a biopsy. Thank God she was always okay.

My mother made clothes, and other personal items work well beyond what they should. Just so, my sister and I could have new things. Or just food on the table.

She made sure we got to ski competitively. That I had new skis each season. Paid for ski trips to races. As a child, you don’t realize what this is assuredly costing our family.

Now that my mother is in her eighties, I can reflect on what she did for me in my life. The sacrifice (although she would never say that) she made for me. I don’t think any of us would change our life.

For me, maybe at this moment do I now realize why this book and why you.

If I could bestow any bit of wisdom upon you. My mother in her day did not have the same access to the internet, cell phones, information as you do today. Her choice was to, at any cost, make sure my sister and I were cared for. She did that with grace.

Some of you will say well, that’s what a Mother is supposed to do. That be the case, my mother passed this test with grace. Today, however, I believe if you’re a single Mom, you might have an opportunity to not only be the Mom you want to be but to be the individual you dream of being. I tell ladies you can have both!

You have before you a world in which you have choices beyond just taking care of your children. You can also have a life with not only your children but one in which you can have an experience to the point that you say to God at the end of your days. “Thanks, that was a hell of a ride!”

Limits are only set by you. There is no stone tablet, no law, nothing to prevent you from achieving all that life has to offer.

My mother was a voracious reader all her life. Now sitting here writing this. It occurs to me that maybe, therefore, I wanted to write as my career!

Since I cannot change the trajectory of my Mother loving choices. Maybe, just maybe, I can share with you enough to help shape the trajectory of your life. I can share useful information, but this is a path you must walk.

You don’t know how the course of our life and the lives around us will shape us. I believe that I understand better why I am an author today than ever before.

Click Here to Visit My Page Author Page

Landlocked for Now

Landlocked in West Texas putting our expedition together. We have some good news that our friends in Honduras have agreed to host us for a short time. We’re going to trek into the jungle and see if we can’t capture some film of Panthers.

Exciting news. This part of our journey will be a massive leap out of my comfort zone. I have to overcome fears, like, bugs, snakes, and other creepy crawlies. Yes, I scream like a girl when confronted with creepy crawlies.

Today is also the first day of my diet. Need to trim off a few pounds and get into real shape. I would not be able to trek through a jungle this out of the way. So it’s time! Being here in the desert will allow me to train in pretty hot conditions. Also going to make some time to trek through the desert to confront some of my fears.

We’re working on what we could study here in the desert before we head out to the mountains in Colorado. Thinking we may do a little work with Roadrunners. The other morning I opened my door in my RV and right there next to my truck was a Roadrunner. That has to be a sign, right?

roadrunner, bird, birding

Currently, I’m talking with a sailing instructor in Seatle that seems very good. He has circumnavigated the world several times. Part of what I need to learn is open water sailing. So I have been searching for the right teacher for a couple of months. I love Seatle to it will be fun if this works out.

This amazing photo below was taken by Oliver Sjöström 

Oliver is an amazing photographer please check out his work: https://ollivves.com/

open water, sailing, boat

That’s the update for our expedition documentary. The title of our documentary is still up in the air. We have a ways to go and may go through several working titles. We started the Life Research Project, so that is a possibility.

Comments, Questions or Suggestions:

 

 

What Happens if I Get Up at 4AM?

Now we must retrain ourselves. Mind, Body & Soul.

“I hated every minute of training, but I said, ‘Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion,”—Muhammed Ali

Years and years of garbage, we’ve fed our brains, and for many of us our bodies. Let’s clean up both. We can all do better in mind, body, and spirit.

Schedule time for mind, body, and soul. Let’s learn how:

  1. Let’s start with our body. Without stamina, you will peter out before you finish a full day. 4:00 AM lets begin with cardio. Give yourself one hour to take care of your body. Walk, ride a bike, treadmill, jumping jacks, just do it.
  2. 5:00 AM lets feed our body. Nourish the body temple with foods that truly feed your body. While we’re eating, listen to motivation, listen to something that fills your mind with knowledge. Find a Podcast, listen to a video, read while in the kitchen. Fill the mind and body with energy food.
  3. 6:00 AM, it’s time to feed the soul. Meditate, visualize, get on your knees and find God. Find your spiritual self. You have not because you ask not. Up your ask and God will up his give.

Now imagine where you will be Mind, Body, and soul after one year 365 hours focused on each of the three purposes to create the world-class you.

prayer, hope, love

You can lay in bed, believing the bullshit story you’ve sold yourself most of your life. This is too hard; I can’t do it. Keep that opinion and your right. This is your wake-up call. Set the damn clock and take your life back, the enemy will convince you that you’re nothing, I’ve tried everything, If you bloody tried everything you would be living the life you want, not the bullshit life you accept.

Learn with me to manage your mind. Getting up at 4:00 AM, really you can’t get up that early, who the hell put that in your head, YOU. Get up.

The rest of the day focus your time with actionable tasks that produce a result. If working on anything that does not create a measurable outcome is a waste of time. Social media being your number one waste of time. Unless engagement with customers, fans, are the subject of your social media time. You’re wasting valuable time.

Let’s take a social media look. If your accounts are ways you engage customers or fans, then set daily times for this activity.

When you get to work, have a day filled with times that you perform set tasks. Doing the best, you can to stay on task during the day. If you get distracted, come back to where you left off.

What I use to track my day (this is no endorsement, it’s just what I choose to use). Two apps I have on my phone is Google® Tasks and Google® Calendar. The reason I use them is they’re free, and they work in unison. They also alert me when it’s time to change and move on. It also allows me to set up recurring activities to plan. Saves time.

Whatever calendar and task manager you choose to use. Use it. Even schedule downtime, take breaks to recharge.

If you track your day, focus time for activities and you don’t allow distractions for that time. If you don’t find twenty hours in your week that you gain. Something is wrong. When we honestly track our time, hold ourselves strictly accountable for time. You will find you have time in your day to do more!

Get your ass up or stay where you are. It’s your choice. Only you can begin this.

Comments or Questions:

 

Be Happy Where You Are

If you’re going to be great, you must be great where you currently are! Make what you have work. When God sees you can handle any situation the flood gates will open. You can’t use doom & gloom about your current situation. Make your ongoing situation work with an eye towards a new future.

“When you rise in the morning, give thanks for the light, for your life, for your strength. Give thanks for your food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason to give thanks, the fault lies in yourself.”–Tecumseh
Let’s break this down a bit, so it makes sense if you hate your current job for example. As hard as this may be, you need to make it work. Why you do how you can expect God to bless you with more if you’re not grateful for what you have? Keep in mind you can let God know what your heart is with him and ask for a change. Pray for a new beginning but show him that you will stay in faith where you are.

I agree it is difficult. However, it makes total sense that before you can get more, you need to be okay where you are. Entrepreneurs can be handed a bag of dog poop and told that is the main ingredient for the Ice Cream they must make. Learn to make Ice Cream out of dog poop.

happy, life, love

My point is no matter what life looks like making the best of what you have. Do this and on the other side is the life you truly desire.

So, let’s assume for the sake of conversation that you detest where you are in your life. Your job stinks, you’re doing what you have to do not what you want to do. Right there with you! Apart from writing this blog post for me is a want-to-do not a have-to-do.

Here are some ideas I would like to share with you to accept where you are as temporary:

  • Make the best of each day. Don’t use negative narratives to describe where you are. You may very well think that life sucks where you are. Change that conversation to “thank you God for the new life that you are blessing me with.” Be grateful for where you are and what is coming.
  • Think about this. You have not because you ask not. Are you praying for a new life? Not, “oh please God get me out of here.” In prayer let God know as a friend your desires, then let him do his job.
  • Visualize and meditate on the life you want. See yourself in that place you desire. Do this daily. Let the Universe begin to move obstacles away and have patience and faith!
  • Keep this in mind. When doing something you may not like to do, work with jerks you don’t want to be with, stay in a relationship you have no hope of happiness. It’s all temporary. Focus on the solution NOT the problem. Learn to quiet your mind in meditation and believe with everything that is you, life can and will change!

Nothing negative we go through is a life sentence. It’s a season of life where the enemy will do everything necessary to bring you down. Change the narrative of your life. Focus on the outcome, be grateful for that outcome even if you see absolutely no way of getting there.

The life you want is on the other side of pain, frustration, hopelessness, if you stay in faith even when you see no way, I promise you will find a new season opening up for you. Never give up!

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Own that Shi*

We know that in September, we will wander through the warm winds of summer’s wreckage. We will welcome summer’s ghost.”—Henry Rollins

One of the most relaxed moments in a Movie for me was when Harley Quin tells El Diablo after he tells his story about his powers “Own that Shit, own it!”—Harley Quin (from the movie Suicide Squad).

This article is about “Own that shit.” Whatever your life has doled out to you own it. But I received divorce papers, my car got repossessed, my boyfriend cheated on me, Own it! Don’t make the tragic mistake of pawning your life’s shit onto someone else. There is a reason this sounds harsh. Hang with me here!

prayer, hope, happiness

The absolute only person on this earth that can save you is you. Owning our shit means not being the victim. My ex-wife wanted a divorce, I never did. Until I was able to hold that shit, I was an absolute mess. When I realized over time that my destiny is in another direction from hers. If I want to understand what God truly has for me, then I need to head down a new path.

Own the fact that whatever befalls your life you inevitably must own it. The great news is you can. Learning to accept the trials of your life will open a whole new unimaginable freedom. Not a day goes by that I don’t recognize regret in my own life. We all have regrets. It’s taking ownership that indeed mistakes, defeats may come and go. Accept them and move on past summers ghost.

Everything in our life is seasonal. As we learn to own our experience good or bad, we will march through to the next adventure in our life. Not all movies have a happy ending, but, we still go see them. If you’ve never seen the movie Steel Magnolias, this movie will bring out real raw emotion. A loss that tears the very fabric of your life.

When you can turn tragedy in, own it, accept it, you can truly move on. Yes, some loss is monstrous and will require periods of mourning. However, at some point in time to begin your life anew. You simply need to own it.  Accept that life will move on without your participation. Ask yourself if your pain worth your life?

For example, if your child sees you cry, do they not come to you and say, “are you okay, please don’t cry.” Why, because they’ve heard you ask them the same question. In this scenario, you lose this child to cancer. The pain is unimaginable, to the point you truly just want to die. Ask yourself if your child was before you in this sad state, would they not want you to not cry and feel better? Loss is far-and-away the worse pain we as humans will ever experience.

At some point in time, we will have to own that pain. Accept what it is that nothing in this world will change the circumstance. We can wish it, pray for it, scream at God for it, but nothing will change. The only thing that can is me/you!

When my wife filed for divorce it for a time devastated my life. I did not want to know “nothing from nothing.” No amount of crying, yelling at God or the depression I fell in would change the outcome. I simply had to own it. Realize that for as much as I wish we could be together, that part of my life was over. The real question: just because that part of your life is over does that mean the rest of my life is over as well? Of course, it does not! A new dawn, the destiny God truly has for you is waiting, own it.

Through our pain, we learn to own our life. We learn to accept that life will throw a fastball that hits you right in the noodle and knocks you the fuck out. You can stay down, or you can Own that Shit! When you can tell the enemy let me promise you one thing when I wake up every morning the first words out of your mouth will be “Oh Shit he’s Up!” (a phrase you perhaps have read like a quote, can ring true in your life).

Coming to terms with owning our life good or bad. You will find peace, hope, faith, love, and courage. I did it and so can you, God Bless!

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