family, spiritual

Our Words Cut or Heal

“Words which do not give the light of Christ increase the darkness.” — Mother Teresa

Words have power and what you say out of your mouth can alter what is happening to you. If we speak negatively, that is what we will attract in our life. Positive words can heal, bring peace to our survival. Ask yourself to have you ever been around a negative person and just wanted to run away? The bigger question is, are you that person?

For me, this was and still is to a degree something I must work for change. Keeping negative words from racing through my head or spilling out of my mouth is a challenge. For most of us, it’s a challenge. If our lives have been a struggle most of the time, then this will prove to be work. Rest easy it’s good work!

When we learn to be gentle with our speech amazing positive things will happen in our life. Words have healing power. If you don’t believe that why does a child respond to your soft loving voice vs. a loud, forceful yell? Being honest with yourself have you ever said something you regretted saying? Of course, you have we all have at some point in our life.

More than any other area of our life this chapter will be in the top two of importance.

For years I would think negatively about so many things in my life. Especially about myself. To only drag me down but it attracted despair. We must learn to change the discussion that we have with yourself. Instead of “nothing ever works” “my life is total crap” start saying, “my life is blessed.”

self help, family, words

One thing I had a hard time buying into, was words could change my life. Words alone will not, but words with action behind them most certainly will. You can’t say I want a movie star spouse to sit on the couch and expect it to come to pass.

Nope, you will have to get off your butt and do something besides just talk. So, if you say, for example, I want to walk with God, be happy, then you might want to get to Church. You will also need to make these confessions to God on a regular basis. Until it comes naturally to you praying daily. When what you say is what you believe. Then hang on your life is about to change in surprising ways.

Let me forewarn you the enemy will come here with your positive thought, speech and see you become happy. “Incoming” enemy bombs are coming! The enemy will want to deceive you. Now he is afraid of you, what God will do in your life if you begin to speak with grace.  The attack will come hard! Dig in and confess you are strong that the enemy has NO dominion over your life.

Your head will deceive you, your heart, soul, will not. Trust in your spiritual belief over your noodle. The enemy lives in your head; God lives in your heart. For years I thought God didn’t like me that is why I suffered. Therefore, now I implore you to hear what I am saying. The enemy will attack hard; you can get through no matter how much you want to give up, DON’T! I promise it gets more comfortable with faith. Don’t lose it.

At the beginning of really focusing on changing my speech. Even though many times I didn’t believe the words I was saying. I said the words anyway. You will be amazed at how quickly saying positive things about yourself, where you begin to believe. Strength comes when you speak power to your soul. For a time if you don’t have faith in your words, say the words. Pray for guidance, and you will receive it.

No matter how difficult a time you’re having with positive thoughts. Keep speaking peaceful words to yourself. I cannot reiterate enough. The power lies in our speech. If you confess negativity, then expect the same garbage to manifest itself to you.

Here is a thought! Forgive yourself, remember these words “my past does not define who I can be today.” What I struggled with was forgiving myself for all the past things in my life that I was not proud of doing. Feeling undeserving of happiness. If this is you, stop it, your life does and has real meaning. Mistakes in life are NOT life sentences of despair.

It has taken me a lot of pain to get this point across in my head. It’s still a battle for me, but I am working on being gentle in my speech to myself. What I can tell you is it does get better and more comfortable to receive the words. I may have to say to myself repeatedly. Worth my time and effort. It will be for you as well. Commit right now that today you will be gentle in your conversation with yourself.

The same way you must be gentle in conversation with yourself. Be sincere with others in your life. Words we speak to our children, spouse or other loved ones will dictate our experience with them. One thing I have had to do with my son tells him I was sorry for telling him when he did wrong that he was terrible. His activity was awful; my son was just off the track.

In the how to raise a child owner’s manual that gets lost between the hospital and home. It would be nice to find the section that talks about the power of words. Breaking the generational cycle of garbage that gets handed down because of words stops now. For us to have a well-rounded life, we may have to have conversations with family to end the cycle of negative words.

My endeavor every day is to speak only uplifting, positive words. I choose to talk about peace in my life. No, it doesn’t work all the time, but that does not mean I don’t try anyway. When we stumble, that means we’re human. Mistakes will happen, recognizing them is a beautiful thing. Now you can adjust your course and get back on track.

Success with our words will take practice and most importantly patience with yourself. Negative words will pop up in your head fast. Confusing you in a false sense, it can manifest if you focus towards negativity. Like all things it takes practice. You don’t walk onto the Golf course with Tiger Woods and expect to beat him if you have not practiced as he has. Your game won’t be the same if you have not paid the same price he has.

The enemy will want you to stay status quo. Break the cycle of negative words in your mind and blurting negative words out of your mouth. Apologize to yourself and to anyone who is the subject of your foul mouth exercise. Bluntly speaking we all must curb our tongue on occasion. Be a blessing to someone, not a curse.

spiritual

Get Ready for a Spiritual Title Fight

When your feet hit the floor in the morning, let the Devil say, “Oh Shit He’s up!”

Our minds can exhaust us to the point we feel like we’ve been in a heavyweight title fight. Pardon the cliché, but you are sick and tired of being sick and tired. What I want to prepare you for is the title fight that is coming. The enemy will see a change in you for good. All the sudden you went from being depressed to having hope.

Jesus paid for your sins on the cross. I am not going to pretend to be a theologian and quote scripture. What I did do is start attending a great Bible-based church. Began to study the word of God. You have protection from the enemy; you can yourself cast him out of your head (No you’re not Reagan McNeil from the Exorcist). God supplies all the tools you need. You must show up for work.

 Part of your job will be to follow the path I am laying down. Find an excellent Bible-based Church. Not hard to find and you may need to attend a couple before you see one that you feel is home. You will need the tools, and foundation for Christ to win the fight to come.

The enemy will come at you hard. WHY, because he is afraid to lose you to the right side. He wants your soul; he wants you to fail! You have free will so that it will become a choice. I would cry so hard thinking God seems pissed at me for all the things I have done in my life. Losing hope that God wanted anything to do with me. NOT TRUE! Learning from the study, Church and the Bible God loves me. It is the enemy that has the hold on us, not God. Rest easy dear friends. It is good and evil in this world it took me a while to understand.

prayer,pray,family

Sharing this first thing will sound a bit scary. You will have a better understanding that the difficulties to come are manageable with the right tools. God says, “No weapon formed against me will prosper.” Remember you have all the promises the Bible says we have. You must start believing with unwavering faith. God wants you to think about it before you receive it. Try it; this is where I stumbled hard.

Friends would tell me that God will never give you more than you can handle. I hated hearing that. The problem is it’s true. You can’t fight for the heavyweight championship of the world without getting knocked on your backside a few times. You will find the strength just as I did. Even from the darkest depths of your mind, a path to peace is available for anyone who seeks order.

Women readers who are moms can relate to this. Labor pains are excruciating, but the result is the greatest joy of your life. Once you go through labor and deliver yourself from hell, you’ve created in your head. The sooner the greatest joy in your life will be at hand.

Remembering always that the enemy will fill your mind with doubt, fear, this will never work. What happens is when you believe you’ll quit. Then the enemy wins. The only loser in this fight is you. It may seem as though God is not listening to you. He is, I thought this so many times. I would scream at God in my vehicle “get in the game” why are you forsaking me. He is not; the devil is treacherous in your mind.

 You will learn to live with your soul, not your head. The mind will never win over your destiny. What you can control is how quickly you see your future reveal itself. Frustration, hate, anger, despair, will only cause you to delay your life moving forward. You must begin to see yourself happy, joyous and free of pain. Don’t scream “I can’t do it.” If you do, you’re right. None of this is easy to hear; I get that!

What I am telling you is if you get knocked down get up. Tell yourself NOT THIS TIME; I get to win this time. Get that loser mentality out of your head. It won’t come all at once. You must recondition your mind for good. If you have suffered for a long-time change won’t happen overnight.

The mind will fight you to the point of utter exhaustion. During a marathon where you will hit the wall many times. Just like marathon runners, you convince yourself that it’s a mind trick it’s not your reality. Reality is you already have, peace, love, and happiness. We as Christians must learn to accept it. You think acceptance would be easy, for most it’s not. Stay in faith even when you don’t seem to have faith in anything. Tell God you don’t see a way, but you trust he will make a move!

One of the most important things I can tell you. Don’t help God, don’t impose your will on a situation that needs Gods hand not yours. For example, separated from your spouse. It’s a situation that you did not want, hit you out of the blue and you’re heartbroken. You call your spouse saying I promise I will change; I love you, please let’s work it out. That’s imposing your will. It’s not you are helping even though you think you’re fighting for your marriage. STOP!

If you want to trust God for a change in your life follow along in this book, I share what mistakes I made so you can have greater insight. You need to believe that God is handling the heart of both you and your spouse. You are jumping in does not help. Trust that if you give your marriage to God, asking him for his will be done. Someone asked me two questions:

  1. Do you want a perfect, loving, happy marriage?
  2. Do you want your spouse back with no change?

Relationships meant to be will be. Maybe, God is moving this person out of your life to make room for your deep down in your soul dream come true person to appear. When we let our destiny unfold naturally what a blessed life we will have.

It’s not always easy to see clearly during times of adversity. Remember we’re in a title fight for our life. The enemy will put horrible, terrible things in our head or before us. We can get betrayed; our life shattered into pieces.

How you get up and tell the enemy “that’s all you got” I have the power of God almighty who controls my life. A quote I love, “when your feet hit the floor in the morning, the Devil says oh shit he’s up. “Anything beats living a life of misery. It’s where I am at, and I pray you are too. Now is our time and “I ain’t going down no more”—Rocky Balboa

The fight will come hard, but if you keep reading, you will find the help you need to get up and fight even harder. The tools you will learn will make those fights fewer. Your spiritual armor will see you through.

self help, advice

Stay strong because God is getting ready to show out in your life in ways you could never have imagined. Your blessings are on the other side of this battle; what was meant for your harm God will bless your life in ways that only he can.

The stronger the attack, the bigger the blessing. Crazy, but when you get kicked right in the gut hard. When you walk trusting God you know, he is getting you ready to show out in your life! The pain you may encounter along the way in strengthening your resolve. Helping you be able to face anything the enemy throws in your approach to disrupt your life.

Everything I am writing about I have experienced. So, if you’re saying what does this guy know about my pain, he won’t understand what I’m going through in my life. It’s because I’ve lived it same as you.  I choose not to lose any more! Hope you come along!

family

Dwelling on the Past

One primary cause for not moving forward in your life; Dwelling in the past. Working out stuff that is merely in the past. What can you really do to change things that have long since past?

So you’ve done something in your past, or something has happened to you from days gone by, and you can’t let go. If you can clear these questions, it’s time to move on:

  1. Anyone you may have hurt have you made amends if that is possible?
  2. Did you learn anything from what happened?
  3. Have you taken steps to correct yourself if it was your issue?
  4. Are you tired of your current situation and ready to change?

If you answered yes to one or all then maybe it’s time to let go. Moreover, maybe its time to look forward!

Relationships could be categorized in the top two of the most common things to let go and move on from. If you haven’t moved on then make ‘s think about a few things. Yes, you may in your HEAD believe that life is over without this person, but that is just not true. NO, you don’t want to hear that but I can tell you from experience, you can let go.

If someone does not want you then why on earth would you consider wanting them? Let’s say they did come back after you begged them too. How long do you really think it will last? If your spouse wants out this was a long time coming. Most likely they have fallen out of love with you for some time. The hard part you haven’t YET!

self help, God, Jesus

I am a big supporter of keeping your marriage together. Counseling and hard work. Yes! If however, no reconciliation by the other person can occur, it’s time to move on. You have to search your heart that perhaps God is moving this person out of your life to make room for someone who is right for you. Painful, hell yes, but at the end of the day do you want a healthy, happy marriage or the same status quo that you had?

Sometimes, as painful as a breakup can be it’s for the best possible outcome. What I thought I wanted from my ex-wife was a reconciliation. She did not. I just knew we could fix our marriage. When I was forced to face the reality of divorce. Open my eyes and say okay I don’t want this, but maybe God has a new plan for my life. I surrendered to it, let go genuinely. Wow, being opened up to a modern day.

I stopped looking backward and put my sights forward. This is the whole point of this article. You cannot see a NEW future unfold in front of you while you’re dwelling in the past. Think about if driving down the freeway continually looking in your rear-view mirror you will eventually crash. You do not deserve to crash, open your eyes and look down the road.

No matter what mistakes you’ve made in the past. That’s the point they’re in the past! You can make amends where possible and not make that mistake again. If you can honestly say “I screwed up, but that’s not me anymore.” Move on, move forward with what life has to show you.

Mistakes are not life sentences. They’re just that mistakes. If you have people around you reminding you continually about your mistakes, tell them to move on. That’s petty, and you just don’t need to keep those folks around. Misery loves company. For naysayers ask them to keep it moving. When your heart says you that you’ve done as much as you can to the right a wrong. Let’s move on!

Your past does not define the person you are or could be. Don’t let mistakes define your life. Don’t let lost relationships determine your final outcome. Through the pain, we find strength, blessings, and miracles. Allow life, to open a new for you.

We have all made mistakes in your lives that we’re not proud of. Even had things done to us by someone that hurt us deeply. Both sides of this coin we need to let go of. Dwelling on what we did or what happened to us serves no purpose other than pain. I get only too well that if our pain was inflicted by another, that is hard as hell to let go.

When it comes to hurt, we suffer from an event in our life that was inflicted upon us. This pain cannot be easily undone or ever for that matter. What we can focus on is that it was not our fault, we did not deserve what happened. My prayer is that God will help you to put the pain away. God loves you, I love you as a human being, that your life can and will be happy, fulfilled, prosperous and full of joy.

These things may seem unattainable at this moment, but they do exist. They exist when you can let go (not forget) and no longer accept that what has happened defines you. It does not. What distinguishes you is what God’s plan for your life as you begin to open your heart to receive. Let God have your pain, ask him to take your pain and show you the growth he has for you.

I would not presume to say I have walked in anyone’s shoes, nor could you say you have walked in mine. What I can with all my heart tell you that through the pain, is joy, freedom and a life you have earned because of your struggle. When I say life, I mean a beautiful experience.

God did not put eyes in the back of your head. I can imagine the reason is you need to keep looking forward. What’s behind you is just that; behind you!

  • Your past does not define who you really are!
  • Your past is not a life sentence of pain!

Open up and see what God has for you. Life is out there waiting to laugh with you.

 

 

family, spiritual

Backstory Don’t Judge Someone

We’re all guilty of judging people. If someone has sentenced you unjustly, this can be very difficult to live with. Of course, if someone judges that’s indeed on them. This article will speak to standing in judgment of someone in our life.

Being judgmental is wrong in so many ways. It’s hurtful, and more than any other reason chances are you don’t have a clue what someone’s backstory is that causes them to be a certain way. self help, judgmental, sad

Everyone has a backstory that if it was known to others, they might look at a situation with empathy instead of standing in judgment. More times than not if you knew what was going on with a person you would feel pretty crappy for your thoughts. Jesus said it best “if you are without sin cast the first stone.” None of us are in any position to judge.

I have a friend who on the surface comes off a little distant, sometimes even disconnected when you interact with him. People around us sometimes say he is weird. What people don’t know about his backstory is two years ago he lost a daughter to suicide. Now I’m no psychiatrist, but I believe if I were a survivor of that tragedy, I might be off my game as well. This is not the typical knowledge to folks who stand in judgment.

This begs the question with that knowledge would you be judgmental or empathetic? We all know plenty of stories like this. So who are any of us to stand in judgment of another? Before you say something about someone make sure you have all your facts. Moreover, if you can’t say something sweet don’t say anything at all! How many times did your Mom say that?

Remember words have the power to heal or the power to cut. Choose your words wisely. Before you stand in judgment of anyone, could you pass the judgment test? Get judgment out of your head. We all have a backstory!