Tying it All Together, Sneak Peek

This is a little sneak peek from the new book I am working on Tying it All Together. So many books out there that fix this or that. As part of the Life Research Project, we begin to pull all of my books into one. 

What was always lacking for me in self-improvement was solving a little piece of the puzzle when I needed a complete life change, total immersion. 

Enjoy this from a current book project Tying it All Together.

self improvement, self help, life

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.”—Thomas A. Edison

First, we get out of our language anything to do with lack. The “I can’t” or “I don’t have” is not part of the English language of your new life.

Second, nay Sayers are just that. People who can’t do a thing themselves and naturally you can’t either if you listen to that bilge. What you’re now looking for are Mentors, people who uplift you.

Throughout history, people have done things that others said could not be done. Or invented things that folks need. All the while, naysayers are “It can’t be done.” Horse hockey!

Limiting beliefs are placed in our sub-conscious over years of saying I can’t. This is also not limited to just that phrase. Years and years of self-defeating language has us convinced we cannot.

Dogpile on top of that, family, friends, managers, whomever, telling you that you don’t have what it takes, you don’t have the education, people who do that are gifted. What? You can teach yourself anything.

Okay, I give. You can’t teach yourself to be a brain surgeon. My point with this statement is I doubt you’re looking to become a brain surgeon, don’t overthink what your ability can or cannot achieve. Start, try, give it a shot, jump, swim, just begin is the point!

So, in this chapter, we’re going to start replacing limiting language and thoughts. How you say, well I have an answer for that. Without this step in the process, later in the book, you will have more difficulty if you don’t make the changes now.

What do we have to change:

  1. Replace limiting thoughts with thoughts of okay how do I achieve this (the what is irrelevant at this point).
  2. Be aware of the language, the words that we use. I can’t, is NO longer a word in your mind’s dictionary. Don’t worry; I am going to share how to get rid of this stuff.
  3. Self-defeating actions. Self-sabotage, and worst of all, procrastination.

There is a lot more to the life changes than just the three I listed. You get a general idea.  As we move through chapters, we will cover a great deal more ground.

For many years we teach ourselves unknowingly that we can’t achieve certain things. Limiting beliefs are ingrained in our subconscious mind over the years. Taking time now to change this old habit and create new ones will take work and time.

Comments or questions:

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Faith or Give Up

What happens when you stay in faith even amid ruin? I can actually answer that!

Last month was shaping up to be brutal income wise. Negativity, in my own mind, was snowballing to the point I was in a very dark place. My day job is sales, and we no longer get commission vouchers to know where we are during the month with no real way to track. Not the fairest method to manage sales people “not my monkey not my circus.”

Handed deal after deal saying credit was not sufficient to purchase. Yet no notes that the company even tried beyond sending it in. Finance you have to walk on more difficult credit customers. Since this was my job for the last 25 plus years of my career. Particularly hard for me when I know some could be deals.

hope, prayer, freedom

Letting all this get to me it clouded my brain. Frustration took over.

Somehow through all of this, I mustered up the courage to continue to let God know that I was still here. Over-and-over I would say, “God has me.” Staring a mountain of debt in the face each month is tedious.

During the month, I would take time to just let God know I don’t see a way, so please make a way. I freely admit most of the time, I was really stressing out. Somehow though I was able to show God that it might only be a mustard seed of faith, I have hope.

Finally arrived pay-day. Contemplated how I would survive the month, what was I going to lose, on-and-on. Had asked God many times to please show me he is with me, that I don’t want to be in this dark hole.

My friend, who works in accounting stopped in my office to hand me my paycheck. As I sat in my chair, bracing myself for the worst. Opening the envelope to immediately look at the dollar amount. I had to stare at it for a moment to realize it was so much more than I imagined it would be. “Oh, my” and I began to cry.

Not only could I meet the obligations, but I also have enough left to pay extra. Not any other time in my life did I feel so humbled.

Keep in mind we are not privy to our income. Sales commissions can range from $100 to thousands, but we have no real way to know. So opening your paycheck is literally like seeing a lottery ticket. It may win big or may not win at all.

The point to all of this is, stay in faith. Even when you cannot see a way, a way is being made if you let God know, do the work you need to every day. I admit honestly if giving myself a grade, it would be a D-, yet as the bible says:

Matthew 17:20 King James Version (KJV)

20 And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; it shall remove; nothing shall be impossible unto you.

We all struggle through tough moments, and it is very hard not to lose faith and hope. For many years in my life, something like this last month, I would have thrown in the towel long before God could provide a miracle.

You just have to talk to God.

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Investment in Your Own Success vs. Sacrifice

The buzzwords “what sacrifice are you willing to pay?” Is your life of happiness, joy, abundance really a sacrifice? 

Throw the word sacrifice out the window and replace it with; Investment in my own success!

After thinking about this a lot. What I have come to learn is I am not making any sacrifice in my life. To some degree in my life, I have since you hear over-and-over again. Sacrifice, what you are prepared to do? What I am sure of is I am ready to make an investment in my own success.

joy, happiness, success

Some of you will be saying the sacrifice I have to make is time. I am going to have to work night & day to complete my dreams. Work weekends, never having a life. Horse Manure!

Making an investment in your own success also includes time. For those of you that say I don’t have time, I suppose you don’t understand how to manage time properly. Don’t scream! Here me out.

Activity vs. Productivity
You can be busy as hell all day long. What did you accomplish? Learn to fill your day with productivity. Organize is the key! 

When you can learn the difference between these to words, time will begin to heal itself. Here are some examples that will help you get started:

  1. Plan your day down to the hour. Have set activities from hour-to-hour that net a result. Tasks.
  2. Learn to limit social media to downtimes NOT during activity hours. Seeing what your sister is making her kids for dinner can wait. Social media is the biggest killer of productive time.
  3. During productive hours shut off the world for a bit to focus. Setting boundaries for idle chitchat is okay. Let friends and family know you will be off the air from this time to that. Emergencies are obviously the exception to the rule. “Mom, can I have $20 to go to the mall can wait for an hour.”

Fill your day with productive time, not wasted time. The three items above give you the idea.

If you feel like you have to give up something to be successful, you need to rethink your plan. For many, it’s time with family. Dedicate times for date nights, time with children, school functions, and kids firsts. Organize your time. Calendar in your day!

calendar, organize, details

Typically, when you organize your day. Take out distractions best you can. Finding twenty hours a week in wasted time is an average.

When you work this out, you can have time for family, social, and activities outside your career. Making an investment in your life includes family. Make times to be present for spouse and children.

You will be more productive when you organize your life out to include growth. Which leads me to something many are doing, and I just began.

Begin your day at 4:00 A.M. 

Before you scream, hear me out! 

Most folks get up between 6 am, and 7 am to get ready for work. So let’s assume for a minute you get up and six. You have the same 24 hours that we all get. Break this down:

24 hrs. – 8 hr work day = 16 hr left – 2 hr commute = 14 hr left – 6 hr to sleep = 8 hr. 

You have Eight odd hours to fit in time for family, and investments in your own success. This can fluctuate a bit from day-to-day, but overall, this is how hours in a day can break down.

You cannot become successful without organizing each day. Activity is just that activity which produces nothing typically. Productivity produces purpose and results.

When faced with the dilemma that you’re sacrificing things in life, that’s really no life at all. I am not suggesting that sometime you may have to make a tough choice. What I am saying for sure that that will always be the exception NOT the rule.

Organize down so the contingency has a contingency. Have the discipline to follow your daily tasks to the letter. Try to never leave a task for tomorrow. If you have to make sure to knock it out first thing, before starting your routine when possible.

Change does take time and you will have setbacks. Just keep grinding forward. Even when you see NO way, believe me, a way will be made if you stay in faith.

What investment in your own success will you make today?

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Plan B Hell NO!

There is NO plan B! If you want to succeed throw plan b the hell out the window. Plan B puts doubt in your head. Meaning you have an out if what I am doing now fails.

Burn The Ship was born from an idea that originated in 1519. That year, Hernán Cortés set sail to Veracruz, Mexico with his crew. … As legend has it, Cortez had the men burn their ships, leaving no option but to press on! Their ability to retreat to their previous way of life was gone; their safety net had been removed.

Exit strategy no, have your plan that includes income to take care of your family. If you have a family when you jump, make sure you have income sufficient to support your family. When I say no plan b, I also mean don’t be stupid. Have your plan so well thought out, you have all your contingencies covered.

God, Spiritual, Prayer

Failing shows the path NOT to travel. You back up and go a new way. Fail, back up to a new direction until you find the way! Learn to be comfortable in your pain. Pain shows us where not to be, but points us in a new direction if you find comfort in your pain. You don’t break! You improvise.

“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me.”–Erma Bombeck

Burn the damn boats. Either believe or don’t. It’s that simple. If you don’t wholly believe in your dream, rethink your vision.

Work your ass off. Want to fail? Buy into the BS you can succeed in thirty days. Plenty of bullshit programs on late night TV to sell you garbage dreams. You need to get a vision that allows for failure with NO plan b. Burn the boats. Improvise, adapt and overcome.

Learn that what you put in is what you get out. Be honest with yourself that if you’re not getting what you want, YOU can change that outcome. There is no plan b, there is today, don’t worry for tomorrow kick ass today so you can have a tomorrow.

We can stay the person we are today, or we can burn the damn boats and make a life.  

“A life that in the end God even says wow dude if I were going to live a life I would come back as you.”–Robert Bruton 

What to learn before you throw plan-b out:

  1. Activity vs. Productivity, learn the difference!
  2. Resources vs. Resourcefulness.
  3. Failure, delays, obstacles, on the other side, is your success.
  4. Unwavering faith!
  5. Visualize, see yourself already having achieved your goal.
  6. Gratitude, be grateful where you are now and grateful for what is coming.

Learn to master these few things, and you will rocket ship your success.

Now go out there and find your new life!

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Be Happy Where You Are

If you’re going to be great, you must be great where you currently are! Make what you have work. When God sees you can handle any situation the flood gates will open. You can’t use doom & gloom about your current situation. Make your ongoing situation work with an eye towards a new future.

“When you rise in the morning, give thanks for the light, for your life, for your strength. Give thanks for your food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason to give thanks, the fault lies in yourself.”–Tecumseh
Let’s break this down a bit, so it makes sense if you hate your current job for example. As hard as this may be, you need to make it work. Why you do how you can expect God to bless you with more if you’re not grateful for what you have? Keep in mind you can let God know what your heart is with him and ask for a change. Pray for a new beginning but show him that you will stay in faith where you are.

I agree it is difficult. However, it makes total sense that before you can get more, you need to be okay where you are. Entrepreneurs can be handed a bag of dog poop and told that is the main ingredient for the Ice Cream they must make. Learn to make Ice Cream out of dog poop.

happy, life, love

My point is no matter what life looks like making the best of what you have. Do this and on the other side is the life you truly desire.

So, let’s assume for the sake of conversation that you detest where you are in your life. Your job stinks, you’re doing what you have to do not what you want to do. Right there with you! Apart from writing this blog post for me is a want-to-do not a have-to-do.

Here are some ideas I would like to share with you to accept where you are as temporary:

  • Make the best of each day. Don’t use negative narratives to describe where you are. You may very well think that life sucks where you are. Change that conversation to “thank you God for the new life that you are blessing me with.” Be grateful for where you are and what is coming.
  • Think about this. You have not because you ask not. Are you praying for a new life? Not, “oh please God get me out of here.” In prayer let God know as a friend your desires, then let him do his job.
  • Visualize and meditate on the life you want. See yourself in that place you desire. Do this daily. Let the Universe begin to move obstacles away and have patience and faith!
  • Keep this in mind. When doing something you may not like to do, work with jerks you don’t want to be with, stay in a relationship you have no hope of happiness. It’s all temporary. Focus on the solution NOT the problem. Learn to quiet your mind in meditation and believe with everything that is you, life can and will change!

Nothing negative we go through is a life sentence. It’s a season of life where the enemy will do everything necessary to bring you down. Change the narrative of your life. Focus on the outcome, be grateful for that outcome even if you see absolutely no way of getting there.

The life you want is on the other side of pain, frustration, hopelessness, if you stay in faith even when you see no way, I promise you will find a new season opening up for you. Never give up!

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