Cleaning up the wreckage of the past. Mop bucket after mop bucket of old muck. It is enough to wear anyone out.
“I always like to look on the optimistic side of life, but I am realistic enough to know that life is a complex matter.”–Walt Disney
This holds true for me as I clean up old messes. What is more, it brings you right back to the place you left so long ago. Past garbage must be picked up even though you may have long since moved on.
Today was one of those days for me. The rug gets jerked right out, and bam, you hit the floor, saying, “what the hell was that?” At this stage, you can either get up, or you can wallow in the mire of despair.
It is hard but chooses to get up. Swift kicks to the gut hurt for a moment, but you can breathe again. Overnight, I was able to find my hope still. Messes can be cleaned up and moved past. Not allowing myself to fall into a pit of self-induced hell was an achievement!
Today these are steps I took to bring myself out of what could have been debilitating fear:
- Give it to God. I simply told God I did not understand why, but I was not going to lose faith in him.
- Took time to just breathe for a minute. Fear will stifle any hope. Sighing and taking a minute to say, “the world is not coming to an end, how do we fix this?”
- Keep telling myself repeatedly, “all is well, God has this!”
- Reminding myself that when all this began, I am a hell of a lot further today than I was when this all started. All for the better!
- Hope always exists, and for me, when I can feel hope in my heart. I know everything will be okay.
We all get life kicking us in the gut when we least expect or need it to happen. Rolling with it and having the expectation all will be well. Easier said than done, however, over time as we practice our faith. Moving with life becomes more natural.
Feeling stronger as faith grows is something that happens. It took a long time for me to believe that my inner strength could be called upon to pull me through the toughest of times. Why, because I am not alone. God will stay with me through my tough times.
With all things, we must practice, practice, practice. Over and over, I say, “God has me.” As I write this, it occurs to me that I have been reading the bible and other Christian books more so than average. Perhaps I have stirred the enemy to throw his life stone at me to see if I will falter. Fall apart and lose what I have. Not this time!!!
Two years ago, I made a commitment that I would no longer lose in life. For once in my life, I intend unequivocally to not miss!
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