Today be Present in the Moment

Being present in the moment is something I learned later in life and at some cost. Life can get hectic, bills, stress at work, you could fill in dozens of more distractions.

What do we mean by being present in the moment? If your children are tugging on you to pay attention to them. When your mind is somewhere else, focused on how you’re going to pay the rent for example. Kids can sense when you’re not paying total attention.

self help, play, fun

Even a spouse can sense when you are not really there. The mind is sifting through tons of garbage, not what is at hand. Just, not paying attention.

It’s easy to justify the stress overtaking the moment. “If I don’t focus on my work we don’t eat.” That very well may be true to a point. Eight o’clock at night business is closed you can give your spouse, or children some of your time.

Being able to be present in the moment with family is precious. You can’t get back time, ever! What I learned the hard way is that your stress will be there in the morning, why not leave it at the front door. Easier said than done!

Here are some things I do today so that I can be present in the moment:

  1. Stress if I allow overtaking my brain, makes matters worse. Learn to harness your stress. If you freak out, that is precisely what your Universe will deliver to you!
  2. Meditate daily. Learn to relax, focus your mind. It’s in these moments solutions will come to you. Peace will come to you!
  3. Breathe, you heard me breathe. During the day, stop and breathe. Take a couple deep cleansing breaths and then breath in through the nose and out through the mouth. Do this for about a minute only. Try it you will be amazed.
  4. Prioritize time for your family. They’re way more important than ANYTHING else you could be focused on. Happy breeds Happy in your home! You bring the stress and guess what, that’s what the family gets, stress. Stop it!
  5. Take a walk. I am not talking about going to the gym take a walk. Get outside and clear your head. Enjoy the world around you. Learn to relax. Walking helps to do this. This is not a workout walk, this is holding the hand of your spouse walk.

Don’t put this off until tomorrow, next month, you need to give this gift to yourself. Time is more precious than we imagine while stressed out. If you can’t be present at the moment for your family voluntarily, what would happen if heaven forbid you were forced to focus. A health reason, someone got injured, you could find time then.

Don’t waste this precious time in your life focused on the bills, work stress, hell everyone has that. Give those that love you, YOU! Don’t tell your children you’re too busy. Don’t tell your spouse you’re too busy.

Unaquivicably, I can tell you that all the stress, worry, I brought too my life didn’t make tinkers damn in the final outcome. Meaning, it only brought more of the same full frontal stress!

Stop at the moment breathe, smile and enjoy.

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Setting Boundaries

When you examine how your life is working day-to-day. It’s important to think about what is adding stress to your life. Could it be fixed by merely setting boundaries?

The answer to that is yes!

self help, happy, relationship

It’s okay to set boundaries in relationships, with children little or grown. When we set expectations for what is acceptable in our lives and what is not, it’s incredible how much easier life becomes.

Work can also be a place where clear boundaries need to be set.

This change, however, most likely won’t come without some resistance. Here is a checklist to help with that conversation:

  • Set clear and easy to understand boundaries. If you need to write them out, do so. Just make sure that whoever is on the receiving end understands clearly.
  • Over a reason why you need this boundary. Explain the stress that it brings.
  • Don’t get upset if it takes a bit of time for the behavior to change.
  • Let the person know you’re not mad, it’s just bringing undue stress into your life.

With just a little conversation we can set the stage for acceptable behavior.

If you struggle setting boundaries for family, friends or coworkers. Take time to write out your thoughts on how this relationship could be a two-way street. Don’t just jump in without some real thought.

Sleep on your results reread them. If satisfied sit down with the person and have a friendly chat. Set expectations and lay them out.

You don’t have to live at someone’s Becken call 24/7/365. Figure what you need to not have stress, put it out there and then hold that person or person’s accountable. It’s not unreasonable by any standard.

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Adopting a Pet 5 tips

Without hesitation, I can tell you adopted pets are lovely. If your family is considering a pet, I hope you will consider adopting before you make a final choice. I am a happy adopting pet owner!

dog, cat, pet adoption

To have a successful pet adoption experience here a few things you need to do:

  1. What type of lifestyle does your family have? Active, somber, children, other pets? Choose a pet bread that matches your families lifestyle. 
  2. Do you have a budget set aside for pet care and maintenance? Vet bills, food, preventative medicine?
  3. Does your landlord allow for pets, if so what is the deposit?
  4. Do you have time to take care of the animal? Pets get destructive because of separation anxiety or boredom. Make sure you can take your pet for walks, dog park visits and so on. 
  5. If you have children make sure, they’re not allergic to pet dander, cats or the like. Some small children do have animal allergies. 

Before you just wander into a Pet Shelter or Humane Society, do some homework. Some dog breeds have tons of energy if your family is not able to play with dogs like this, get them lots of exercises. Honestly, it may not be a good fit. Lots of people love Lab’s but don’t realize these are water dogs who like to play.

Breeds have different temperaments, the biggest failure in owning a pet is getting a breed that requires more than families are able to give. The good news with a little research and right questions at the Shelter you can choose the right dog for your family.

If you have questions we’re happy to answer:

Family, I’m too Busy with Work

It’s your paycheck that pays for the care of your family. If you didn’t work the hours that you do, weekend and so on, life just wouldn’t be possible. You work hard to provide for your family entirely admirable. For years I thought the same thing.

If you’re so busy, you have no time for your family what the hell kind of life is that? It’s not a life because someday when your son or daughter is grown up you will be regretting the time lost. You can cloud this up all you want but the day will come. So let’s figure out how to manage work and life balance.

family, business, work

The first big hurdle to cross is the boss that says “sure you can go watch your kids’ ball game just pack this box with all your shit.” I actually have had several bosses who played that card. This I will admit is a tight position to find yourself in.

An even tougher thought to ponder is to say you do succeed, but you’ve missed every first thing, birthdays, and life events with your children. How do you ever get that back? You don’t! A very perplexing situation to find oneself.

We all want to get ahead in life, we want to give our family more than what we had. The problem is the cost. What are we willing to pay. From experience, I paid a lot. More than I should have because I missed a great many things. My son ounce sent me a picture of a child chasing a Dad, the bottom photo was the Dad chasing the child. Sad!

One damn sure thing you can never do; buy your child’s happiness or love. What you can provide is you! So how to find the balance?

Begin by making sure you make time every day if possible that you leave your phone, emails, and laptops. Allow yourself to be totally present in a moment with your child. Don’t answer the phone and say Daddy or Mommy has to take this. Don’t dismiss your child as you would a co-worker.

Finding balance requires you to be completely present at the moment. You want to sell yourself that a client can’t wait an hour to hear from you (I get time-sensitive jobs, but you need to find a time when the market is closed, see my point). Spending uninterrupted time with your children, time with them while you are on the phone is NO GOOD! Block out time that is the children’s time!

Some will say this is a nieve look at job vs. family. That it’s your job that pays for your families life. If you asked one adult child, who’s parents gave them an incredible home, everything they could ever want. If you asked that child what if anything could you change, all would tell you more time with the parent that was absent. You can’t buy a family or love.

Make real-time for kids to experience what you have to offer. Maybe you can’t be there all the time, but be present in the moment. Don’t miss firsts or birthdays! You can never get them back; I don’t care how many birthday ponies you give. Turn off phones and be with your kids! You won’t regret you did, ever!

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Five Things to be Grateful For

Many days we all struggle to find things to be grateful for. Learning to become grateful during our worst times will help you find peace. Focus on the positive things in your life, get that vibration out in the universe. Draw in the great kick out the bad!

five things to be grateful for

Here are 5 quick things to be grateful for today:

  1. You woke up; you’re This is a tell-tale sign that God is not through with you yet. Why not get up and go see what God has for your life.
  2. Do you have healthy children, are you healthy, if so consider the flip side of that coin? Many families will leave loved ones behind today in hospitals to never return home. If you have your health, you genuinely have everything!
  3. Do you have a job and transportation to get to your career? Even if it’s a job, you cannot stand, you have a job. Lots of folks would kill for your crappy job. So be grateful you can work and provide for your family.
  4. If you’re reading this from a computer, chances are it’s on a device you can be grateful to have. Plenty of folks out there that cannot understand this only because they have no access. If you have a cell phone, computer, tablet, and Be grateful that you have these items that most likely you take for granted.
  5. Family, do you have anyone in your family that you are genuinely grateful they’re in your life? Hopefully, its most of your family, but if it’s a Mom, Dad, sibling or child. Let that person or persons know how grateful you are to the family. An I love you goes a long way!

No matter how crappy life may be or how joy-filled life may be for you right now. Being grateful is powerful. See the world through grateful eyes, and you will see a world that blossoms for you in ways you never imagined.

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Today I am grateful you read this and pray Joy and Peace into your life! God Bless.