Single Mom Living My Best Life

My New Book just published today. Enjoy the Introduction and you have a link at the bottom of the page to visit my Author Page available at Amazon.

A Guide for Extraordinary Change

single mothers, mom, parenting

Introduction

‘When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me.’”—Erma Bombeck

Well, let’s start with the obvious. I’m not a single Mom, and why should you listen to this dude?

How about answering a couple of questions first?

  1. What if you could learn self-confidence enough to crush all your goals?
  2. What if you could learn to earn more money than you ever have?

No, we’re not selling pipedreams!

I felt compelled to share my life experience, knowledge of business, my Christian faith for single moms that might be struggling to make ends-meat.

What I am suggesting to you is that if you lack confidence, don’t believe you can go any further than where you are right now. You could not be more wrong.

This book will teach you confidence building through faith.  How to overcome negative mindsets. Most importantly, how to not only sell how valuable you are but potentially find a career in sales. Perhaps even further in whatever endeavor YOU choose! How about an I want a job, not a have-to-have mundane job?

Sales skills can help you advance any job. When you can ethically build value in products or services, you offer. You will begin to see your career move like the wind. I will teach you to do this in a fun and engaging way.

Throughout the book, exercises, notes, and learning will occur. Get a notebook to have ready to do some fun work.

Taking our life and turning it on its axis, shaking it up, and on the other side is your joy, peace, and smile!

Many times, over the years, I have heard Pastors say. Bring everything to the Lord. Nothing is too big or small. Joel Osteen once said if God can bring into existence the Universe. Don’t you imagine he can bring into reality your dreams?

TD Jakes, who makes me laugh wonderfully. Talks about bringing wimpy prayers to God. He, too, uses the analogy God flung the universe into existence, and all you’re going to ask him for is, “Oh Lord, please, I need to pay my rent.” He, in a bold voice, says stop asking God to pay your rent but ask God for the means and way to have a mortgage.

With work and faith together in this book, we can move mountains.

Get all the stereotypical sales guy images out of your head, open your heart, and let’s learn! When I speak about sales skills if you can use your power of persuasion in the betterment of your life. Wow, watch what you can do!

Single moms of which by the way I was raised by one. Perhaps I have some insight given the struggles my Mother endured.

When I was three years old, my father took me, my little sister and mother to my maternal grandparents’ home. Dropped us off to never return. I can remember my mother from time-to-time crying uncontrollably.

Fast forward my life to times I remember how hard it was on my mom. One morning I remember when I was seven, maybe eight years old. My mother was in the bathroom, and I heard a crash and a break in the bathroom sink.

My mother had saved her money to by some sort of face cream, something just for her. It dropped and apparently broke in the sink to the point of being ruined. I remember hearing her crying so hard, saying, “I never ask for anything why?” “I saved for months to get this, oh God.”

It was haunting to me. I knew my mother’s heart was torn for something she had struggled so hard to get.

Over the years, my mother gave up her life for my sister and me. She never really dated because my sister and I had terrible times with she would leave us. We had abandonment issues so severe that my mother simply stopped trying to have her own life.

She also worked her ass off, never in my life can I remember that my mother took a sick day from work. Two times in her life, she was hospitalized for cysts in her breasts. Doctors wanted to do a biopsy. Thank God she was always okay.

My mother made clothes, and other personal items work well beyond what they should. Just so, my sister and I could have new things. Or just food on the table.

She made sure we got to ski competitively. That I had new skis each season. Paid for ski trips to races. As a child, you don’t realize what this is assuredly costing our family.

Now that my mother is in her eighties, I can reflect on what she did for me in my life. The sacrifice (although she would never say that) she made for me. I don’t think any of us would change our life.

For me, maybe at this moment do I now realize why this book and why you.

If I could bestow any bit of wisdom upon you. My mother in her day did not have the same access to the internet, cell phones, information as you do today. Her choice was to, at any cost, make sure my sister and I were cared for. She did that with grace.

Some of you will say well, that’s what a Mother is supposed to do. That be the case, my mother passed this test with grace. Today, however, I believe if you’re a single Mom, you might have an opportunity to not only be the Mom you want to be but to be the individual you dream of being. I tell ladies you can have both!

You have before you a world in which you have choices beyond just taking care of your children. You can also have a life with not only your children but one in which you can have an experience to the point that you say to God at the end of your days. “Thanks, that was a hell of a ride!”

Limits are only set by you. There is no stone tablet, no law, nothing to prevent you from achieving all that life has to offer.

My mother was a voracious reader all her life. Now sitting here writing this. It occurs to me that maybe, therefore, I wanted to write as my career!

Since I cannot change the trajectory of my Mother loving choices. Maybe, just maybe, I can share with you enough to help shape the trajectory of your life. I can share useful information, but this is a path you must walk.

You don’t know how the course of our life and the lives around us will shape us. I believe that I understand better why I am an author today than ever before.

Click Here to Visit My Page Author Page

Letting God Drive

Are you a backseat driver? Can you sit back and enjoy the ride, or do you have to continue to “turn here” “watch for that car” “it’s faster turn here?”

The hardest Christian decision I have had to make is “Let Go & Let God!” Faith in something that you cannot see.

You must learn to let God drive. Sit back in the car, shut up, do the work, stay in the word, pray,, and God will do his thing!

The Bible says:

Hebrews 11.1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.  

Faith is hard when you cannot see God cheering you forward. It’s particularly tricky when results are not appearing. During these times, most will simply give up. Only to say all the God mumbo-jumbo does not work.

self improvement, self help, spiritual

Faith will be tested by the enemy with a relentless barrage of self-doubt, negative thoughts, and anything else that can be thrown at you. Important to note! This will pass. Your faith will be tested, and it will give if you stay in faith.

Can’t see the end, stay in faith. Can’t see hope, remain in worship. Can’t take another moment of pain, stay in faith. All of this will pass. Yes, it hurts at the time horribly. This is when you simply fall to your knees and let God know you don’t have anything left, it’s all up to him.

Do that with a sincere heart. Your life will change! 

For those of you that read me, you know one of my favorite examples of faith. You quit that which you desire just moments before God had planned change. Example: You asked God for a dream job. The job God has in mind to give you is currently occupied by a beautiful person getting ready to enjoy a well-earned retirement. This person is a short six months away from a beautiful life.

You’ve been busting your fanny trying to find a dream job for some four months. No responses, nothing coming at all. God has moved your destiny into play for the job that will be vacant in just thirty more days. Your head is telling you that what’s the point five months of searching and nothing. A flat zero!

What you don’t know is that in just thirty days more. God is moving people, places, and things so that you get this dream job. The enemy is in your head, telling you it’s hopeless. You give in, and life passes you by again.

Staying in faith is damned hard. You have to believe as though there is NO other outcome other than you will have your dream job. Whether it takes one day or six months. It does not matter to you, it’s yours. No plan, B! Laser focused.

How do you stay this way, you may be asking. 

  • Prayer that includes gratitude that you already have the job! 
  • Meditate, see yourself doing the job. See yourself already working in the position you desire. 
  • Stay in faith, even when you see NO way! 
  • Throw any Plan B out the window! Plan B suggests your faith has a limit; ask yourself, does it? 
  • Resources vs. Resourcefulness (Learn the difference, your life with rocketship to the moon. 

Do the work; don’t sit on your ass and expect things to just come running to you. We all must do the job. Nothing comes for free.

Train yourself to see the outcome. Look towards that which you desire with affection, love, and the unrelenting knowledge it’s yours. Do it, and your life will unfold in ways you never dreamt!

Sit back and enjoy the ride, let God drive!

 

 

How God Can Help You With the Future, He is the Coach

The other day while recording a Podcast, I had a bit of an epiphany. We’ve been talking about New Years resolutions, goals and how to get going. Speaking also about change being difficult and working through that.

My own question and a question that is posed to me all the time, “Why is change hard?”. Why if we’re Christians does God allow us to have trials and tribulations. He is God, so why can’t he just miracle me through?

prayer, meditation, Training

That’s when it came to me. God is like a great coach. If you’ve played any sort of sports, you know that coaches work you hard to make you better. Get you in shape to handle the season of play. At the beginning of the athletic season, you may train, two-a-days, extended hours to prepare you for the season.

How I now see God, as my coach. What pain and struggle I have now is preparing me for the season. If you’re Christian, you understand you have seasons of life. How can God advance you to run a marathon if you can’t run a mile?

Training is hard, some days it takes us mentally to the breaking point. “I can’t do it” “It’s to difficult” yet the champion in you won’t quit. This too, can be the breaking point that your mind will try and convince you that this is too difficult. NO, NO, it’s not. That’s your brain telling you, the enemy putting that self-doubt garbage in your head.

Where people fail is getting into self-doubt or the feeling it’s too hard. Merely giving up at the first obstacle. Another fail is “this is taking to long.” It won’t work! Successful people will tell you they are because they’re willing to take one more step than you are.

God is preparing us to win. Training is hard, sometimes excruciating. Think about if you’re going to become a world-class athlete you can’t ski a downhill if the only slope you ski is the bunny-hill.

Being a competitive athlete takes training and preparation. So it stands to reason that if God is going to bless your life with more, you need to be prepared to handle it. He is not going to let you fail. Therefore training is a must. Don’t look at it that God is not answering your prayers, trials, and tribulations are God coaching you to win. Remember, you can’t play in the Superbowl if all you’ve played is flag football with your buddies.

Think about this for a moment. If the struggle is part of your current experience, look at it as coaching. Meditate on what lessons need to be learned. Are you stressed or calm? Calm allows change to occur for the better, stress stifles progress.

Look for learning in a tough situation. It may take some time, it’s not just going to stand up and say “hey, here is the lesson” you have to find the answer. It will come when you least expect it, and it will come on God’s timetable not your own.

When you learn to allow destiny to open up as it should, life will become incredible. You have to do the work nothing comes for free.

God is going to push you like a great coach will push to mold you into a world-class athlete. The same principle applies. Are you ready to be the world-class person you’ve always dreamed of being?

Allowing myself to realize wow God is my coach, he is coaching me to be a world-class player of life. That’s when I master each training objective, I move closer to God’s true blessings for me. This realization has indeed allowed me to breathe!

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The Power of Your Words

The current book I’m working on discusses the power of our words. Words can express love or cut deep into our heart. Remember the first time you told someone you loved them? Do you remember the first time you said something stupid and hurt someone?

Being conscious of what words we use to ourselves or those around us will make all the difference in the world our life experience. If we speak negatively to ourselves most likely depression, self-loathing will consume life. The sad part is over the years we become conditioned to negative words.

What I explore is the human experience of “nothing works in my life” I simply don’t have what it takes. You have given up hope because you see no hope. Blinded by years of indoctrination to feeding your mind with garbage the enemy wants you to believe.

Words, spiritual
Words Have Power Choose Wisely

Good news is that it can change. I can already hear some of you saying this is BS. NO, when you get kicked square in the gut time after time. Sorry, but its time to cowboy-up as they say. None of what I’m talking about now or what I’m finishing in my book is easy. If it were, we would all have rainbows flying out of our butt’s!

Don’t you get angry or discouraged and quit on my now! It was and still is very hard for me on days to overcome my head. It gets better I promise you that with practice and sweat it does. Everyone has seen world-class athletes perform. They don’t walk out and compete at that level without a few bumps and bruises along the way. The change will take time, and you will have difficulties.

Candy coating won’t make change occur. You have to dig in tell the enemy his fifteen minutes is over and take back your life. When you begin to change he will come at you hard attacking all the weaknesses in you he can find. Stronger we are in the lord. Call to prayer the lord. If you need to say a thousand times “I am strong in the lord” do it! Fight as you’ve never fought before.

Foremost, get some help. Get into a good bible based church. Find somewhere that you can speak to folks that are strong in the lord. They will minister to your hope and strength in the word of God. Don’t second guess me right now. Don’t over think that some bible thumper has no clue what I’m going on in my head. YES, they do! You don’t have to run down the aisle with a handful of serpents screaming Jesus save me.

What you will learn by the grace of God from Christians that simply walk with Christ first in their lives, how to find peace. How to smile again. How to laugh again. How to love again. How to live in your soul and NOT your head.

  • Positive Self Talk
  • Positive Affirmation
  • Listen to your Heart

Get negative Christian stereotypes out of your brain. For years I turned my back on any spiritual growth in my own life. When you live in your heart and not in your head, life will open like a beautiful flower. Think about this for a minute. Your life is in turmoil allow yourself to cast your cares to God in prayer with an open heart and mind. NO, Mr. Skeptical you can’t just say God pay my rent, sit on your ass and the rent gets paid. What you can do is pray to God that your problems are too big for you to handle alone and you’re grateful that he has made a way where you see no way.

You still have to go to work. Do things that are in front of you. Learn not to impose your will. When you can believe the outcome BEFORE you receive the blessing hang on God is about to change your life. It’s hard it takes work, sweat and yes you may even cry. God does not just come along and fix stuff for free. The price of a happy life is FAITH. He has already given it to you. Don’t ask for what you already have from him, thank him for the blessings yet to come as though you have them TODAY. Immense power in what I am telling you to try. What have you got to lose?

I welcome questions: