spiritual

Who is the Enemy

Does the Devil Exist? Not the stereotypical Devil in the movies.

My life has never really been around the church or too caught up in religion. Never really understood what it meant to have a spiritual life. I made fun of bible thumpers and religion. That comes from ignorance. It’s easy to make fun of something you’re ignorant too.

Fast forward fifty odd years to today. For a time, I studied metaphysics, enjoyed Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, and other spiritual teachers, just putting my toe in the water. I attended a few classes, did some fun work. Learned meditation, yoga, and visualization. Never really got the deeper side of spiritual life.

Few more year’s pass and life took a giant dump straight on my head. Oh, indeed this is my doing you understand. You can’t blame your life on anyone but yourself. Take ownership of that. “Own that shit”—Harley Quinn.

In debt up to my neck, separated from my wife, past due with the IRS, and the list goes on. This time in my life at times got very dark and hopeless. Hopelessness brings about dark thoughts about does your life even matter. Who would give two shits’ if you were gone? Scary times.prayer,faith, spiritual

When you’ve hit rock bottom, it does lend itself to the revaluation that maybe you might need help beyond earthly help. Don’t have the money for therapy or any mental health care. Going to have to bootstrap help if I wanted it. So, begins my journey back to finding some spiritual peace.

This time I chose to seek the church. Didn’t want so-called organized religion but wanted to the Bible-based teaching of God’s word. What promises did the Bible hold out that I could have? Was I even deserving of any peace? With nowhere to turn I got on Joel Osteen’s website and looked for a Church close to me. I do like Joel Osteen and read all his books.

As I began to search out God, my depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts went out of control. Man, I could not believe how hard I was crashing. It was worse now than it had ever been. I would cry wondering “oh my God what did I do to piss you off this bad?” What I came to learn from wonderful folks in my Church this was then enemy attacking my thoughts, not God.

No, my head does not spin, and I don’t spit green vomit at the priest (for those of you that have seen the Exorcist). It took me a few weeks to grasp this. The attack in my head was not God punishing me at all. The Devil is keeping me right where he has had me most of my life. In a depressed state, with no hope.

The question for me became what is causing my life to for a time rock along all is well to falling off a cliff? Why do I continue to fall short in my life? For me, this took falling to rock bottom. To losing what I loved the most to finally saying to God, there has to be a better way. What do I do God?

So begins my journey to find a spiritual awakening. How do I find peace? How do I find the life that the Bible promises? You’ve heard part of my answer finding a good church family. The second part of this is research into the why of my life. Why do I fail at just about everything? Not a pity party this is a real question I believe for all of us.

When I would share my feelings with people in my Church that have what I am seeking, true faith in God. I would say why is God punishing me so hard? To the point of dark thoughts against myself. The pain is beyond what at the time I thought I could endure. One person in my Church explained to me this was an attack by the enemy. What did I say?  The enemy who is that?

Okay, so you’re telling me the Devil lives in me. Oh, great I’m possessed. The reply is NO; you’re are suffering from an attack in your mind. The enemy wants you to be depressed, he wants you to lose everything, and he would even love for you to do something stupid. Wow, this was a lot to swallow, but it made sense.

We have a choice to believe the enemy who is a liar above all. Or, we can choose to believe the word of God and have the life Jesus bought and paid for with his. The attack on me continued to get worse.

Times I would be sitting in my truck and scream at God “WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?” Where are you get in the game? Again, the enemy is filling my head with doubt. When you calm your mind (I do in meditation), then you can begin to feel God.

What helped me to understand this is Napoleon Hills book Outwitting the Devil. All of us love and have most likely read Think and Grow Rich. This new book did not get published in his lifetime. His family waited some thirty years to publish it. I will not spoil it for you, but it’s an eye opener from a beloved author. It helped save my life in many ways.

Another person who has opened my understanding of how a spiritual life works are TD Jakes. One of his sermons had me crying in thanks because it made sense to me completely. Let me paraphrase what I heard. “The enemy’s attack is not punishment, the enemy’s fierce attack is because he is afraid of you, he is afraid of your power.” The enemy is about to lose you from his bond in your life. Anytime, you speak the truth, God’s word or praise over your life. Expect, him to put garbage in your head to change you into his thinking.

Take time to do some preparation in your life for a change. Don’t do it alone! Find a Church that you feel comfortable with attending. It may take visiting a few, but you will find one. Get involved with folks you see that truly walk-the-walk pardon the cliché. Read and study all that you can. Always have in your mind that at every corner and turn your head will be telling you, oh this is stupid. All this faith and Church stuff is bologna. That is the enemy!

Here is where you have to get out of your head. We have to learn to live from your hearts, our soul vs. our head. Learning to receive God in our hearts, this is where you will find peace. Don’t scream I can’t do that, yes you can. It is the hardest thing for me as well.

Find a place where you feel at peace. A lake, pond, Mountain View, fountain, anywhere that makes you feel at peace. Where you can find God to speak to your heart, this is where you will find peace. The enemy has you in your head with you trying to figure everything out. Faith is giving all your cares to God and letting it be. The enemy will tell you “you better take control, life is about to get WAY worse if you don’t  do something about it.” That’s all horse manure. Go to God in prayer, don’t BEG! Thank him for already blessing you with that which you desire.

 Always pray as though you already have that which you need. You will come to learn that all God asks is for your faith. Show him you are faithful even when it looks like disaster is imminent. Don’t lose faith no matter what!

The enemy lives in your head; God lives in your heart. Learn to decern the difference and life will truly change for you. It’s not hard, but it’s a battle. The enemy will not give up easily, but I know in my heart that if you stay strong in faith, God will pull you through. Have an open heart!

 

 

 

 

 

 

spiritual

The Power of Your Words

The current book I’m working on discusses the power of our words. Words can express love or cut deep into our heart. Remember the first time you told someone you loved them? Do you remember the first time you said something stupid and hurt someone?

Being conscious of what words we use to ourselves or those around us will make all the difference in the world our life experience. If we speak negatively to ourselves most likely depression, self-loathing will consume life. The sad part is over the years we become conditioned to negative words.

What I explore is the human experience of “nothing works in my life” I simply don’t have what it takes. You have given up hope because you see no hope. Blinded by years of indoctrination to feeding your mind with garbage the enemy wants you to believe.

Words, spiritual
Words Have Power Choose Wisely

Good news is that can change. I can already hear some of you saying this is BS. NO, when you get kicked square in the gut time after time. Sorry, but its time to cowboy-up as they say. None of what I’m talking about now or what I’m finishing in my book is easy. If it were, we would all have rainbows flying out of our butt’s!

Don’t you get angry or discouraged and quit on my now! It was and still is very hard for me on days to overcome my head. It gets better I promise you that with practice and sweat it does. Everyone has seen world-class athletes perform. They don’t walk out and compete at that level without a few bumps and bruises along the way. The change will take time, and you will have difficulties.

Candy coating it won’t make change occur. You have to dig in tell the enemy his fifteen minutes is over and take back your life. When you begin to change he will come at you hard attacking all the weaknesses in you he can find. Stronger we are in the lord. Call to prayer the lord. If you need to say a thousand times “I am strong in the lord” do it! Fight as you’ve never fought before.

Foremost, get some help. Get into a good bible based church. Find somewhere that you can speak to folks that are strong in the lord. They will minister to your hope and strength in the word of God. Don’t second guess me right now. Don’t over think that some bible thumper has no clue what I’m going on in my head. YES, they do! You don’t have to run down the aisle with a handful of serpents screaming Jesus save me.

What you will learn by the grace of God from Christians that simply walk with Christ first in their lives, how to find peace. How to smile again. How to laugh again. How to love again. How to live in your soul and NOT your head.

  • Positive Self Talk
  • Positive Affirmation
  • Listen to your Heart

Get negative Christian stereotypes out of your brain. For years I turned my back on any spiritual growth in my own life. When you live in your heart and not in your head, life will open like a beautiful flower. Think about this for a minute. Your life is in turmoil allow yourself to cast your cares to God in prayer with an open heart and mind. NO, Mr. Skeptical you can’t just say God pay my rent, sit on your ass and the rent gets paid. What you can do is pray to God that your problems are too big for you to handle alone and you’re grateful that he has made a way where you see no way.

You still have to go to work. Do things that are in front of you. Learn not to impose your will. When you can believe the outcome BEFORE you receive the blessing hang on God is about to change your life. It’s hard it takes work, sweat and yes you may even cry. God does not just come along and fix stuff for free. The price for a happy life is FAITH. He has already given it to you. Don’t ask for what you already have from him, thank him for the blessings yet to come as though you have them TODAY. Huge power in what I am telling you to try. What have you got to lose?

I welcome questions:

spiritual

If Nothing Else Works, try Faith

Faith tends to be the hardest to hold onto in the face of adversity. It’s the one thing that will pull you through adversity. The enemy will want to fill your head with “this won’t work” “nothing will ever change” “this is my luck.”

Negative thoughts are an attack from the enemy. This has been hard for me to grasp. The enemy turns up the fire when he finds a weakness. My point to this is if you can identify your weakness. Perhaps you’ve gone through a break-up. You need to let God handle it, but you keep calling, emailing, begging or thinking your fighting to hold onto the relationship. Reality is you’re destroying it, imposing your own will. Trust me been there done that!

faith, hope, God
Faith

What gets you is when you do try to let go and let God do his thing. If the situation does not change as fast as you want, that’s when you jump in and screw it up. Nothing happens on our schedule. Especially, when it comes to God. We have to allow God to move through our lives, let our destiny unfold. Even if that destiny is not the outcome, we hoped for. That only means something new and better is around the corner.

If you give up or give in to your will things only won’t change as they should. When we live in our head instead of inside our soul, the administrator will take us down the wrong path. Faith that your life will unfold on God’s time will allow you to find happiness. Just when you think everything is lost God will show out in ways, you could have never imagined. NO, I don’t have a crystal ball to tell you why or how. It’s through God’s promises in the Bible.

If you don’t have an understanding of the Bible, let me recommend you find a right Bible-based Church. Learn what the word of God says. Look at it with an open heart. There is a HUGE difference between Religion and walking as a true Christian. Subscribe to what makes you feel good. If organized Religion appeals to you, go! If you want to live a Christian life, find a good Christian Church. As long as you honor God to go to to do what your soul is called to do.

You cannot merely white knuckle faith. Having an understanding of what Faith will make it so much easier to have it. When I write about such things, I am the first to tell you that I chronicle my life as a direct result of following God’s word. I let people of real faith Minister to me the word of God. My background is not in a Church nor have I studied it in a formal setting. What I can offer is my experience of being someone just like you seeking something more for my life.

Find people that speak to your heart teaching you the word of God. You may need to visit several Churches before you find one that speaks to you. That’s normal and okay.

Here is the dilly whopper. You have to give everything to him! You can’t go part way or say I will let God handle this and I will feel that. If you want more of the same for your life that is what you will get if you don’t let God handle it. I struggle with this as well.

What I had to do is tell myself “okay you’re here because of the way you handle things in your life.” So maybe a different way to handle my life is in order? Of course, it is, if I ever expect anything to change I have to be willing to change.

We all come to a point in our lives that we say “I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.” It stands to reason that if life has exhausted you. Maybe, trying it with faith couldn’t hurt? My experience has been dropped into a pit of hell. So for me, a drastic change is what is needed. Therefore, I have committed to God that I will trust him completely. Struggling to maintain that but when I do stumble, I have to remember that I am human. Giving myself a break to get up dust myself off and get back after my life. Trusting God to unfold my destiny. Is it easy, no. The alternative is to continue the same crappy existence that I was muddling through. Losing relationships with family, not ever feeling truly fulfilled. Or I can try something new. God is something new for me. So far it’s been amazing.

Most times not easy, but the rewards FAR outweigh the pain. Nothing that is worth having comes easy. Adjusting ourselves to an entirely different way of life is work. Be kind to yourself as you learn and make mistakes. Don’t get discouraged, and it’s part of the process.

It’s going to feel like you’re quitting smoking. You’re going to want a cigarette, don’t smoke it! Trust that whatever struggle that is in front of you will pass. It will give if you pray about it and let it go.

Find help in a good church if new to all of this. It gets better; I promise it does keep your faith! God bless you.

spiritual

Stay Strong in Faith

What a journey it is when you give your life to a spiritual existence. Deciding that you will live your life from your soul and not your head. That means to me that I allow things to happen on God’s terms, allowing the universe to open up my destiny as it should. We, of course, have to do the work, but we must allow our destiny to be revealed to us.

For me this has been a struggle. Imposing my will before God’s will is fear. It’s hard to release your faith, I struggle with it everyday. It does get easier everyday. It does not mean that you don’t look for signs look for blessings everyday that give you clarity along life’s path.

In this moment I am having issues allowing God to work in my life. I run scenario one after another in my head. This is not trusting God to reveal to me the answer to this worry. What I am praying for is clarity in God’s good time. If I’m ever going to have peace in my life no matter how much it hurts right now. I have to let go in faith.

Stopped working on this and boom I started stressing over the issue I was just speaking about. Faith can be hard to follow when all our lives we’ve imposed our own will over our life. If your life is out of balance and in a mess, there is a reason. Right there with you. So it stands to reason that if I want real change, I have to be willing to change. So faith I am standing firm!

If God’s promises are real and they are! On the other side of this is happiness that will far and away be greater than the despair I feel. I miss someone very much, but I have to let God work through both our lives to restore them. Then and only then will destiny reveal itself.

If you struggle today with faith, then let’s make a pack for today. God, we release our loyalty to you, so that you can do right work in our lives!

Stay strong friends!!!

faith, god, no fear

spiritual

Change are You Ready

When we struggle the pain can become debilitating. Finding yourself in bed, unplugging from the world. It’s not the answer. We know it’s not the answer, but we can’t find the courage to move. I wish I could tell you here is a magic potion that will lift you out of bed healthy and whole again. Natural is not what will get you out of a dark depression.

The reason it’s not easy is to build strength. If a change could occur with no real effort, it would be short-lived. Here is the thing, do you want it to be easy so later down the road you won’t have the strength to NOT get in this dark place? The easy answer is yes, the deep in your gut answer is, it will be painful and hard, but let’s go.change,God,peace

Real change comes through our pain. I know it hurts I do! Most of my life has been depressed. It’s torn my life to bits, cost me beautiful relationships, it’s cost me jobs, family, and a world of other troubles. So believe me I get it. So this time I chose the pain. The enemy has thrown wave after wave of garbage in my head. To the point, I have been screaming in my truck stop the pain cursing the world I could not move another step.

I did move another step. What we together must learn to do is live in our soul, not in our head. Our noodle will entirely turn our worlds upside down. Without a doubt, if you stay in your head, the pain will continue. So what do I mean about living in your soul?

Finding a spiritual connection to God, the universe, Devine source, you have to believe in a higher power than yourself. I choose God, but do understand if you don’t have a religious background this can be as though someone is speaking a foreign language to you that you have no clue what they’re saying. The beautiful thing is that’s okay. Together our journey begins.

My entire life I may have stood at the door of a church a dozen times. Never understood this whole God thing as I called it. Happy to report at this juncture of my life I am entirely convinced that without a spiritual believe my life is stifled where it is. The last half of my life will have meaning and purpose found through God. Life can have a real sense for you as well. Having faith in something bigger than ourselves.

One thing is for sure if we’re not ready for change we won’t. Finding that level of commitment will most likely come from being so tired you merely give in to the fact that something has to give. It’s okay to be there, and it does get better. When a decision to change our lives is made you can be sure that your head is about to say “oh no you don’t we love our pain” you will have to fight with everything that is you do not fall back.

I wish I could tell you it will be easy. What we have to keep on our mind is a lifetime of a conditioned response to tribulation. That’s not going to change overnight or without a commitment to improving. You may have to get up, dust yourself off and get back on the horse. This is a horse that won’t break easy.

Just when you think you can’t get up again, get up still! What successful people will tell you is the reason they’re successful is they’re willing to take one more step than you are. NO matter the pain of the action they take it and win. You to must adopt this mentality. I can hear many of you saying you don’t have the strength, I’m too young, too old, to set in my ways, I’m a girl, I’m “a,” I’m “a,” blah blah, blah!!! Stop IT!

We all have the strength to change. You can find the fight in you to move past whatever it is that binds you. Loss, finances, divorce, whatever the hell it is you can beat it. Yes, it hurts like hell, but YOU have the strength. Yell, scream, get mad and tell the world that by God this stops NOW. My life has meaning and grace. Your past, your biography does not define who you are today. The current situation does not represent the life we’re all intended to live.

Yes, the place you are may really suck. It’s not a life sentence. It is only if you let it. Don’t allow it. Even if it’s a baby step and you confess on your bended knee that change is coming, change is happening and you choose to live happily. Take action no matter the size. A step forward is a step forward. If you get knocked back, take two steps forward. Pain will pass and become easier to deal with.

One thing I can share is meditation is fantastic to help guide your mind to peace. I use meditation music with headphones in my practice. What you want to achieve is relaxation at first. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Nice cleansing breaths. Let the music relax your body, get in peace. Your head maybe running a hundred miles an hour. Breathe! It will slow down, and it’s okay if it takes time.

When you feel relaxed, begin to vision peace raining over you. Gods presence in your mind. See yourself happy, smile while you do this. Trust me you will be amazed. See yourself the way you would love to have your life. Meditate on it. Vision it in your mind. What your thoughts believe your life will be. It works, be open and try. If it takes a few times, then it takes a few times. This is not a test, it’s a reconditioning of your mind to relax. For most of us, we don’t let our mind have any time off. We’re horrible bosses of our mind. Be a partner in your mind, not a master. Relax, and you will find peace!

Find a way to begin to put aside all that troubles you. Walk, meditate, do something that gets you out of your head in a healthy way (no glass of wine is no the answer, even though it should be, LOL). A little levity is what is needed. Laugh, God loves to hear us laugh. Remember nothing worthwhile comes easy. This will be a bumpy road for as long as you let it be. Our life happy or sad is our choice. Today choose to be satisfied. If you have to say it a thousand times a day “I am happy” then say it.

I would love to hear from you, get in peace, happiness is yours: