Over our lifetimes, we can accumulate a landfill of garbage in our heads. This is garbage that has taken a lifetime to gather. However, it is now time to empty the trash, let’s go learn how!
Let me share the same advice with you that my mother bestowed upon me. “It took you a lifetime to break your life, have the patience to allow change to occur.”
She is right; it has taken a lifetime to accumulate so much trash, it may take a garbage bag or a hundred to empty out our noodle. The good news is a lot of the garbage can be taken out never to return simply because you are ready for change. You are right?
What exactly are we talking about, garbage?
You get the idea!
Let’s plot out an action plan for change:
Make the decision you want to change your life. Whatever it is you feel you need to change, decide that today forward no more. The new you is at hand.
Organize your life so that you can feel like you are achieving something every day.
Learn how to quiet your mind. This will take some practice but will be the most fantastic thing you can do for yourself. Use headphones, find some relaxing meditation music, sounds, rain, etc. Turn off anything that will disturb you and on get somewhere no interruptions! Cannot stress that enough. Learn to relax and quiet your mind. This will open your mind and allow you to just relax.
Let God know what you desire and ask for the wisdom to find what you seek.
Get healthy. Walk to relieve tension in your body. When you’re healthy, you will be less fatigued. Your body will respond better to change.
Find something that is NOT about you. Volunteer and help others. Doing something that benefits others has an incredible cathartic result.
Learn to be thankful right where you are. Let God know every day you love what you have. When you are okay where you are. God will see that you can have more than you are ready for more in your life. Gratitude is a wonderfully blissful peace in your mind.
Don’t overload yourself. Pick a couple of things and do them consistently. We stop change because we overwhelm our brains. Believing we must do all this stuff to get a replacement now. Slow down, and change will come more quickly.
Someone shared with me, “the state of my house is in direct correlation with the state of my mind.” Look around for clutter. Get the clutter out of your life. No, it’s not organized its confusion. Desk, car, home, or office. Organize!
When deciding what your life should look like take the following OUT of the equation:
Don’t have the money.
Don’t have the time.
Don’t have the resources.
Don’t have enough education.
Too old or too young.
When framing a new life. Do it from the world is your oyster. You have NO obstacles in the way. I can hear some of you, I don’t have money, I don’t have time!
Learn quickly that in life, you can throw up an obstacle to stifle yourself. If you believe in something enough, PUT FORTH THE WORK TO ATTAIN IT. What you need will come to you someway somehow, even when you see NO idea at all.
Give this to God. Let him see you working diligently, stay in faith. You don’t know how, but you know God will make a way.
Hebrews 11:1-6 King James Version (KJV)
11 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
Do everything you can to make your dreams come true. Cannot sit on your duff and expect God to just Miracle a million dollars in your bank. That is called the lottery!
You must condition yourself to release negative thoughts as they enter your mind. This is a pass you need to fumble. Drop the ball, let it go, don’t even try to catch the negative thoughts. Easier said than done, I get it. However, you can acknowledge the idea with a resounding “Delete.”
Meditation helps with this. See yourself happy, loved, and doing the life you want. The big difference in having the experience you wish to versus having a life you are stuck with. None of us are stuck, oh, you might think you are, but you are not! That much I am 100% on.
This is a quick look at the first chapter of my book, Plan B Hell NO. Of all my books I love this one for many reasons.
Shatter your Plan B and give way to success!
Learning the Difference
“It always seems impossible until it’s done.”—Nelson Mandela
We are going to cover some perspectives that if you lean the difference between these ideologies, you will learn the first steps in unwavering faith.
You must change your mindset of lack in this first set of ideas that cause doubt. We don’t have the right resources. Learn when thinking of what you can do, say to yourself, “we just burned the boats now what?”
What to learn before you throw plan-b out:
Activity vs. Productivity acquire the difference!
Resources vs. Resourcefulness.
Failure, delays, obstacles, on the other side, is your success.
Visualize, see yourself already having achieved your goal.
Gratitude is grateful where you are now and thankful for what is coming.
Learn to master these few things, and you will rocket ship your success.
First set: Resources vs. Resourcefulness
Where most folks fail in endeavors is their belief of a lack of resources. “I don’t have this; I don’t have that.” Ultimately, nothing begins, or they don’t finish what they started because they sold themselves on the fact “I don’t have.”
Here is what is lacking. Resourcefulness! It’s not a lack of resources; it’s a lack of ingenuity that causes you to fail. Some of the most beautiful photography does not get shot from a $10,000 camera but a $100 point-and-shoot or a smartphone. It’s not the gear; it’s the eye of the photographer. Take a look at what some of the top YouTube channels shoot with; most will tell you they started with a phone or a point-and-shoot.
We are learning to plan and execute with precision. Meaning, we learn to organize yourself for production. Days are about the output from hour-to-hour. We’re going to get into this later in the book.
So how do we learn to be resourceful?
The most obvious is research. Learn everything there is to know about what you want to begin. Your knowledge needs to be you are the news organization’s first call when they need a professional opinion. The what you do does not matter, the knowledge base you have is unmatched.
Learn to make do with what you have temporarily. If you need a tool to perform your job but do not own one, can you rent, borrow, a joint venture with someone who does. For example, I am a photographer, when I need a camera Lens, I rent it. If offered a job that requires a lens that might cost me tens of thousands of dollars to purchase, I rent it!
I currently have a full-time job. I don’t have time. Can you get up an hour early? Give one hour a day every day, and at the end of the year, you’ve invested 365 hours to your new endeavor. If you’re more inclined to succeed get up at 4:00 AM. You would be in good company, Bill Gates is up, Dewayne “The Rock” Johnson is up, and so is Warren Buffet.
Can you swap for things? If someone has something, you need to see if they’re willing to accept another form of payment from you. It’s a long shot, but long shots win at the track every day! You dare to ask for what you need.
Bend the rules of any situation. BEND NOT BREAK. Bend rules to accomplish. We never bend the rules to destruct or harm. Ever! Think outside the normal.
Learn to play several hands. Double down when you can. Never rely on one solution when others may work as well.
Communicate with potential clients, vendors, or angel help. Learn to voice yourself to get what you need. You will be amazed at how many good-hearted people are out there if you present yourself well.
When you think about resourcefulness, think about people who have defied all odds to achieve. We’ve all heard of or seen Escape from Alcatraz. Arguably a prison that should be escape-proof but turned out not to be.
We’ve all heard stories of cancer recovery; you’ll never walk again, obstacles placed before folks that didn’t listen. They defied the odds and overcame incredible adversity. Where there is a will, there is a way. Pardon the cliché, but it’s true.
Resourceful people also have patience. Where many fail is, they get frustrated because change is not immediate. Resources may be moving around with the help of the Universe to align themselves with you.
I told this story in a Podcast. Think about patience this way. Say you want a job, not just any job but your dream job. You pray about it, visualize it and know you can do it. You start losing faith, so much so eventually you give up. What you did not see was that your dream job that could have been yours currently occupied by someone that had you waited just a bit longer would have been available because that person retired. God was going to steer you to this job after a deserving person was able to retire with a bang. They earned that for years of service.
God was letting someone retire with the fanfare they richly earned, and he was going to put you in it because you stayed in faith, you made it. You got frustrated and moved on. How stupid do you think you would feel if you had this knowledge after you lost the opportunity?
Opportunity can come quickly, or slowly. If your faith stays true to the course, you’re on, when the knock-on opportunities door comes it will be more than we ever imagined. Imagine the wisdom you might have received from the person exiting your dream job. What did you miss because you could not be patient?
At this point, some of you may be saying, “but I’m not that clever.” Everyone can be clever. Here are some ways you can learn to quiet your mind. When you do this, it’s incredible how much your thoughts will begin to serve you instead of stress you.
Meditation is fantastic, and anyone can do it. What this practice allows you to do is to slow your mind down. Declutters your head so you can organize your thoughts and be receptive to receive new ideas.
If you want to learn to be more resourceful, learn to meditate so your mind can clear a pathway to new thoughts.
If life is not set too well right now, meditation can help you find peace. Living in your mind will cause us to live in fear, pain, and anxiety. Our thoughts wander off into the abyss of negativity.
Meditate to get in touch with your soul. When we live from the soul, all things are possible. During meditation practice aligning with God, the divine source will release your energy. Bring into our lives joy, happiness, and oneness with the universe where real peace can live.
Connecting with Devine Energy:
As part of healthy meditation practice, we can cleanse our bodies of toxic, life-draining anxiety. We can see what our deepest desires for health, family, relationships, all in our minds. When you believe in your soul, that’s when things begin to materialize.
It’s a simple process. Find some meditative music. Use headphones if possible. You can find lots of meditation music on YouTube®. Find a relaxing position; I like to lay down on my bed flat. Breathe deeply in through the nose and out through the mouth. Deep cleansing breaths relax!
As you begin your meditation, don’t worry if your mind moves in thought. It will take some time for you to get to a point in your meditation practice that you can control your thoughts. It’s ok.
Begin to connect with God, ask him to come into your life, and only pray to him. Release your cares to him. Then show him through your mind, see yourself receiving blessings, see yourself in the state that you want to be. Visualize in your mind, your deepest desires and then tell God how grateful you are.
There is a reason it is called a meditation practice. It will take a bit of time for the mind to clear trash thoughts. It’s ok. Continue this practice daily. Several times a day if you have the time. For sure, before bedtime.
Connecting to Devine source will open your life to wonderous new blessings and peace.
If you want to be resourceful, learn to open your mind, declutter your head so you can find new ways to achieve your goals.
Second set: Activity vs. Productivity
Massive in changing anything about your life. So many people tell me they don’t have time. They can’t fit another thing in their day. My short answer, “you don’t know how to manage your time.” I usually get a lot of expletives shouted at me. Hear me out before you hit the refund button.
You will need to indulge me in an activity. First, get two pages of a daily calendar that starts and ends with your work times. You need a daily view that breaks up the day hour-by-hour. Then what I want you to do is HONESTLY write down what you do for two days literally by the hour.
Yes, you can do it, and yes, it’s a pain in the ass. How bad do you want to change?
Chronicle your day, I mean from bathroom breaks to screwing around on social media. Chin-wagging with friends, talking on the phone, you get the idea. Be honest; this is not a test but will be an ah-ha moment. “Holy crap, I waste a lot of time.”
We can find you somewhere close to 20 hours per week. I promise you will be amazed.
So, this is what activity will look like now let’s talk about what productivity looks like — time-sensitive projects, client fires, things that are typically out of your control but do take time. Of course, we must adjust for issues as they arise. The point to all this is once we get distracted, we immediately get back on task.
What a day looks like filled with production:
Set times that you can do routine daily tasks. For example, email. Can you make two times a day for email? Morning and afternoon. Daily try and identify how much time you spend on email. Most emails can wait for a time.
Give each function of your day a set time to start and complete. Never leave a task incomplete for the day if you can finish.
Learn to keep distractions to a minimum. Let friends and family know that if possible, call you at designated times.
Social media is a killer of time. It boils down to is looking at what your sister-in-law cooked for dinner or is a success your passion? Also, keeping up with friends during the day, why waste productive time? Social media eats time with NO benefit to your success.
You have 24 hours in a day, you need 6 hours of sleep, leaving you 18 hours! Now tell me you don’t have time! Get organized with time. Time is a friend or foe.
Invest time for yourself. Imagine after a year of one hour a day; now, you have 365 hours invested in your freedom. Knowledge is freedom.
Change your perspective about sacrifice. If you feel you must sacrifice anything, you’re in the wrong mode. If you think you must surrender to realize a dream you have. Ask yourself why?
What you put into a thing, for example; getting up earlier to begin your day. Some would say this is a sacrifice. NO!
Anything you do to further your life is an investment, not a sacrifice. Learn to invest in your success. Everything you do that facilitates your life experience is an investment that yields a net result.
It’s not a bloody sacrifice to have a happy life. You don’t have to give up anything to have a happy life. You gave up an hour of sleep to further your life and that somehow realistically is a sacrifice?
Look at actions you’re engaged in that you feel is a sacrifice. Then HONESTLY ask yourself why you feel that way. My guess is you’re not adequately managing your time. Don’t get pissed. We all suck at managing time. Activity vs. Productivity!
Visualize what you want. Not just about material things.
See where we’re galloping off to here? It’s an all-encompassing visualization of our life. See the life you want to have. We do this in our mind’s eye.
The best time I have found to do this is during my meditation practice. Follow these simple steps:
Have a place where you can quiet your mind without interruption.
I find it easier to declutter my mind with soft meditation music or outdoor sounds like crickets, ocean, rain, this type of sounds are soothing.
Begin to see with eyes closed focus your mind on what you desire to see change. See yourself happy, in a happy relationship, new job, new body, focus until you smile. Stay in that state-of-mind for as long as you’re comfortable.
Do this practice at least once per day.
When you begin to believe it, the Universe will start to manifest your dreams.
Have patience and gratitude. Lock in your faith!
Gratitude for where you are, what you have today lets the Universe know you’re available to receive blessings. Demonstrate your true faithfulness in this life. Then learn to be grateful for what is coming, what you can’t see but desire to be a part of your life.
Be happy where you are and for what is coming, and miracles will abound.
Focus on Gratitude every day. Take moments out of your day to thank God for what you have and what you cannot see. Give praise for the life you have.
Are you a backseat driver? Can you sit back and enjoy the ride, or do you have to continue to “turn here” “watch for that car” “it’s faster turn here?”
The hardest Christian decision I have had to make is “Let Go & Let God!” Faith in something that you cannot see.
You must learn to let God drive. Sit back in the car, shut up, do the work, stay in the word, pray,, and God will do his thing!
The Bible says:
Hebrews 11.1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
Faith is hard when you cannot see God cheering you forward. It’s particularly tricky when results are not appearing. During these times, most will simply give up. Only to say all the God mumbo-jumbo does not work.
Faith will be tested by the enemy with a relentless barrage of self-doubt, negative thoughts, and anything else that can be thrown at you. Important to note! This will pass. Your faith will be tested, and it will give if you stay in faith.
Can’t see the end, stay in faith. Can’t see hope, remain in worship. Can’t take another moment of pain, stay in faith. All of this will pass. Yes, it hurts at the time horribly. This is when you simply fall to your knees and let God know you don’t have anything left, it’s all up to him.
Do that with a sincere heart. Your life will change!
For those of you that read me, you know one of my favorite examples of faith. You quit that which you desire just moments before God had planned change. Example: You asked God for a dream job. The job God has in mind to give you is currently occupied by a beautiful person getting ready to enjoy a well-earned retirement. This person is a short six months away from a beautiful life.
You’ve been busting your fanny trying to find a dream job for some four months. No responses, nothing coming at all. God has moved your destiny into play for the job that will be vacant in just thirty more days. Your head is telling you that what’s the point five months of searching and nothing. A flat zero!
What you don’t know is that in just thirty days more. God is moving people, places, and things so that you get this dream job. The enemy is in your head, telling you it’s hopeless. You give in, and life passes you by again.
Staying in faith is damned hard. You have to believe as though there is NO other outcome other than you will have your dream job. Whether it takes one day or six months. It does not matter to you, it’s yours. No plan, B! Laser focused.
How do you stay this way, you may be asking.
Prayer that includes gratitude that you already have the job!
Meditate, see yourself doing the job. See yourself already working in the position you desire.
Stay in faith, even when you see NO way!
Throw any Plan B out the window! Plan B suggests your faith has a limit; ask yourself, does it?
Resources vs. Resourcefulness (Learn the difference, your life with rocketship to the moon.
Do the work; don’t sit on your ass and expect things to just come running to you. We all must do the job. Nothing comes for free.
Train yourself to see the outcome. Look towards that which you desire with affection, love, and the unrelenting knowledge it’s yours. Do it, and your life will unfold in ways you never dreamt!
Offer emotional support, understanding, patience, and encouragement.
Talk to him or her and listen carefully.
Never dismiss feelings but point out realities and offer hope.
Never ignore comments about suicide and report them to your loved one’s therapist or doctor.
Invite your loved one out for walks, outings, and other activities. Keep trying if he or she declines, but don’t push him or her to take on too much too soon.
Aid in getting to doctors’ appointments.
Remind your loved one that with time and treatment, the depression will lift.
Caring for someone with depression is not easy. Someone with depression may need constant support for an extended period. Make sure you leave time for yourself and your own needs. If you feel you need additional assistance, there are support groups for caregivers too.
Helping someone with depression can be a real task. The person may be in a pit and become verbally combative when insisted on getting moving to a therapy appointment or maybe just to the shower.
Remember, it’s the depression lashing out or talking to you. Just like someone drunk, it’s the liquor talking. Boundaries can be set; however, patience is the call of the day.
*U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, National Institutes of Health, National Institute of Mental Health. (2015). Depression (NIH Publication No. 15-3561). Bethesda, MD: U.S. Government Printing Office.
Anxiety and stress can have debilitating results. For years I suffered through stress, work-related, home, you name it, I could find a way to stress myself out!
Over the past couple of years now, some fantastic results have passed through my life. Yes, I still stress, but boy can control it been enhanced. I will share with you my daily routine and habits that help.
First, let me say that if you’re struggling to get help from a licensed health care professional. What I am sharing with you is just daily habits that you can try to see if they help. By no means should you feel this is a cure-al?
Simple daily routine changes can help with stress & anxiety:
Learn to quiet the mind. This is just a simple relaxation method that can help you with a clear mind. When the rhetoric in your head can slow down and quiet. Amazing results begin to appear.
This can be a simple walk around your neighborhood. Or you can join a gym. Working out the tension in your body, getting stronger can help you not get so fatigued that your anxiety just increases.
Take a moment often during the day to just breathe. Sixty seconds to breathe in through the nose and out through your mouth. Nice cleansing breaths.
Regulate your soda, coffee, and high caffeine drinks. For most of us, we don’t need more help to get anxious.
Take the time that’s just for you. Watch a sunrise by yourself. Sit by a creek. Do something that is just for you (retail therapy is a no-no. Credit card debt is a stressor). Go shoot baskets at the park, kick a ball, ride a bike.
Stay connected with people that uplift you. Debbie-downer is not your friend. Choose wisely. Don’t hibernate.
Set boundaries for people that bring stress into your experience. If someone can only talk about negative things. Cut them short (YES YOU CAN) politely excuse yourself from that situation “oh I totally forgot ______” hopefully that person gets a clue. You are not anyone’s sounding board for garbage.
Home or office is a mess. Guess what? That is the state of your noodle. Clean up, organize, and enjoy the environment around you. People often tell me the disorganized desk in the office, “that’s just the way I am.” So, you’re a chaotic malfunctioning human, and we should all get over it? I regularly must organize myself, it’s a habit I highly recommend.
Sit down and prioritize your life. I mean down to the last detail. If you tell me you’re a free spirit, you fly by the seat of your pants. Then I say super if you’re a well-adjusted, NORMAL functioning human being I will shut up. Otherwise, organize based on the importance of what you need to do every day. The reason being, if you have a real sense of accomplishment, wow, is that life-changing! Activity vs. Productivity learns the difference now!
Patience and faith. If you can learn to allow life to unfold (yes you must do the work) knowing full well, you’ll be fine. Even when you can’t see a way, you believe with everything that is you, all will be well. Spiritual connectedness will indeed bring about peace in your life.
Learn to be grateful right where you are. If you want more out of life, you must be thankful where you stand. If you want more from the Universe, why would that occur if you’re miserable where you are (NO, I am not suggesting you be grateful in a situation that is emotionally or physically harmful to you). However, if this is not the case and you’re simply aggravated at your lot in life. Be grateful you have a car that gets you to work, you have a job it may suck, but you have one, a roof over your head, food to eat, your health and clothes to wear.
You can find a million reasons to stay in the crap. I just gave you eleven reasons not too. What’s more, you can do each of these with just a little effort.
The real question now; “What are you prepared to do?” Until you make the decision to change your life, expect the same outcome.
No guarantee this will be easy. Nothing worth having is ever easy. I am going to let you in on a secret. For most of our lives, we’ve been taught to run away from pain. Sounds reasonable.
When you first go to the gym and workout hard, what happens? Soreness from hell hits you. Can’t brush your teeth, can’t raise your arms high enough. You can quit or go back to the gym and work out a bit more until the soreness subsides.
Coaches will push you beyond your mental and physical breaking points. Why? Your head will quit far sooner than your body or mind can handle. Marathon runners are prime examples. “The wall” as marathon runners will tell you hits about the twenty-mile mark, and your brain says your body it’s time to stop. The physical pain that is causing damage to the point if you don’t stop, you could injure yourself or worse die.
Medical studies have proven this is all in your head. Runners are not hurt, injured, or dying. What is happening is our limiting beliefs take over, and it’s; fight-or-flight.
Before you give up, take one more step. If you took the step, then maybe we can go more. It’s all up to you. The ONLY PERSON ON THIS PLANET THAT CAN SAY YOU CAN OR CANNOT. IS YOU!
Don’t let anxiety and stress take your joy. If you need professional help go, get it. I am putting a resource to help you get started. This is not a paid endorsement, nor an endorsement by me. It’s just a great place to get started.