Choice, Decide Already!

Choice

If I asked you to make a choice right now to be happy, but you’re suffering through a terrible divorce. Could you be satisfied just by making that choice? The short answer is yes! Before you hit the refund, button hears me out.

What stops you from choosing to be happy in a moment is you. I should say years of conditioning yourself that you can’t just simply change. Why can’t you? Should be the real question.

Let’s take our divorce scenario to a little higher level. If divorce is imminent even though you don’t want a divorce.

Two options:

Option A:

  • Stay bitter, sad, emotionally done, not having any thought as to a new future.

Option B:

  • “Choose” to be happy. Yes, the person whom your life revolved around is gone. The Universe, in its infinite wisdom, is taking you down a new path. Presuppose for a moment that this new life if given a chance, has more love, joy, happiness, and fulfillment than you ever thought possible.

If you choose to be happy, “Option B” certainly has more promise. The simple act of choosing one from another is incredibly powerful.

Over a year ago someone that I am proud to call a friend explained away my own pain from divorce like this: “If you could have your wife back today and go right back to the way things were, OR, you could have the relationship you never thought possible. Which would you choose?”

That’s when I knew that I had to make a choice for myself. If something in your life is meant to be, then it shall.

The real rub is that for years-and-years, we conditioned our minds towards limiting beliefs. We end up saying:

  • If I just change, she will come back.
  • If I learn to keep my mouth shut.
  • If I lose twenty pounds.

The problem is NOT you, it’s the paradigm that is so entrenched in your head you can’t shake it off. Using the divorce analogy just scrapes the surface of this problem. This book is not a “how to get over divorce” book. NO, far from it.

How to change limiting beliefs, the unknowing lies we tell ourselves every day. What our journey well reveals to us, we can make a choice and move on, NOW!

Prayer, self improvement, society
Choice do you really want me to pick?

Yes, friends easier said than done. However, very doable. With some guided practice, you can learn to decide, stick with it, no regrets, and blaze a trail for others to follow. Pardon the cliché!

How do you we make these changes you ask? Training our minds to a new healthy reality. Who says you can’t do something; you need only look in the mirror? That’s who!

Part 1:

How many years have you heard phrases like?

  • You/I don’t have that kind of luck.
  • No education, you can’t do that.
  • You’re too fat.
  • You’re too skinny.
  • You’re not part of that social group.
  • Oh, honey, why don’t you lower your sights to something more realistic.

From as many years ago as you’re able to remember we’ve all heard the limiting phrases getting stuffed into our mind.

What is being communicated to you is, “If I can’t do you surely cannot.” By well-meaning parents, family, friends, and other well-wishers. So, if these lovely people are telling me this, it must be true. NO, not only NO; HELL NO!

The only person on this planet that knows whether YOU can do anything is YOU! It does not matter what your Mom, Dad, Grandmother, Friend, Boss, has to say about what you can do. The ONLY person that knows is your period!

People close to you will naturally want you to play it safe. None of us want to see a friend hurt. Who the heck says you must hurt? I’m not shouting at the top of my lungs “oh God, don’t write the first Novel you failed English literature.”

Again, I go back to the systematic brainwashing society shoves down our brain. How many folks have completed Marathons in wheelchairs or with lost limbs? Hundreds if not thousands. Why Choice! The choice NOT to allow something horrific to bring them down.

Mediocrity is a disease of the mind. It’s a cure; “Choice!”

Part 2:

How to break free, so Choice comes at will.

  1. Meditation / Prayer: see yourself through this practice as free of limitation. That my life, my choice to see it through as a vessel of the Universe. Not some, “I don’t have this or that mentality.”
  2. Put the affirmation “Choice” Refrigerator, bathroom mirror, reminders on your phone daily.
  3. Learn to believe in yourself. Take the training wheels off your life. When you feel you can’t do something learn to ask yourself; who said! With enough training and knowledge, you can bloody well do anything you want!
  4. Practice, Practice, Practice! Do not give up or in at the first sign of difficulty. This is something you must want as much as air. We’ve all heard the businessman who asked a guru “how do I become successful,” the Guru replied, “meet me at the beach at 6:00 AM and don’t be late.” The next morning the businessman is on time, and the Guru takes him out into the water up to there chest. The Guru grabs the man and holds his head down in the water until the man was in great distress. Lifting the man out of the water, the businessman screams, “Why did you do that?” The Guru calmly replies, “When you want success as-bad-as, you wanted to breathe, then you will find success!”
  5. Gain knowledge. The reason people quit is insufficient knowledge. If people aren’t saying to you, “Wow, I have no idea you could do that.” If the wow factor is not WOW, then gain more knowledge. Become a voracious reader.

Nothing on God’s good earth prevents you from achieving anything. If you set your mind to something, trust that God will give you the knowledge, and move the Universe into alignment for you. Believe that as much as you want to breathe (like our Guru analogy).

All it takes is a choice. Your choice to stay status quo or your choice to live a life most would only dream about.

“Infuse your life with action. Don’t wait for it to happen. Make it happen. Make your own future. Make your own hope. Make your own love. And whatever your beliefs, honor your creator, not by passively waiting for grace to come down from upon high, but by doing what you can to make grace happen… yourself, right now, right down here on Earth.”–Bradley Whitford

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Train Until You are Stress Proof

When ill-prepared to do anything, this creates undue stress does not matter the task. It’s natural to have tension when you feel nervous about a task at hand. Having knowledge gives you power. Hence, train until your stress-proof.

So many just give up long before they should. A top reason is folks get uncomfortable because they don’t want to appear for lack of a better word stupid. None of us want to look silly in front of our peers.

society, self improvement, self help

Most of us have experienced this in our lifetime. When beginning a new change, task, or any change for that matter. Put training, educations towards that task before perhaps announcing “hey, I’m doing such-n-such!”

Here are a few tips on training:

  1. Set time each day for training one of the three; Mind, Body, and Soul.
  2. Train until what you desire comes to you flowing like a river. 
  3. Become a voracious reader. Knowledge is true power! 

These easy tasks will help you strengthen your stress tolerance.

Don’t only give up. Evaluate your plan:

  1. Do I have sufficient knowledge?
  2. Am I truly prepared? 
  3. What is scaring me?

When you can identify what’s wrong, fixing that becomes easy. Don’t sell yourself short! Sometimes, the slightest of change in your trajectory will move you right back on task. Making a big deal that potentially is nothing is a snap judgment. Get that type of reaction out of your head.

The way to change, happiness, success, love, joy, you must be prepared. You must understand your desire completely. Then and only then, when you’re absolutely clear, the flood gates of life open!

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What does Water have to do With Faith

Faith gets me more questions than any other word, phrase, the subject you can name. Everyone struggles with faith, and I am certainly no exception.

Just coming in from outdoors, it’s scorching here. I grabbed a bottle of water, and sure enough, the good lord put in my head an article to write. When you open your mind up to possibility, an opportunity opens up from just about anywhere. It was a bottle of water today!

water, bottle, drink

So what came to me as I drank the water. I opened the water and simply started drinking. Not giving a thought to if the water was pure, diseased, tampered with, old, disgusting, I simply opened it and swallowed.

What if the water was tainted in some way? Do you ever think about that? No, we don’t we assume with blind faith the water is Spring Water, refreshing and crisp. Keep in mind there is a lot of nasty diseases carried in water. You can get sick or die from bad water.

Every day, you open the water and drink with no thought of the consequences if it’s terrible. Why because in your heart you know that it’s an unlikely event that you will get sick.

Ask yourself I can open a bottle of water that you have no clue where it came from if the plant is clean if someone peed in the water at the factory pissed because they got fired. You’re willing to risk your life at the potentially contaminated water every day, but you can’t have faith that God has you?

You’re willing to get on the Elevator at work knowing full well it could drop twenty stories if all systems fail, blindly walk on with no thought of danger. Yet you can’t believe that everything will be okay!

We do things daily with blind faith. Put our lives in harm’s way “potentially” every day, but you can’t show trust in God.

What does Water have to do With Faith? Your faith needs to be as pure as the water. Trusting that when you drink from God’s water bottle its as pure as the water you safely drink all the time. You just drink because you don’t give a thought to anything else but how refreshing it will be once you drink. That’s faith! 

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Plan B Hell NO!

There is NO plan B! If you want to succeed throw plan b the hell out the window. Plan B puts doubt in your head. Meaning you have an out if what I am doing now fails.

Burn The Ship was born from an idea that originated in 1519. That year, Hernán Cortés set sail to Veracruz, Mexico with his crew. … As legend has it, Cortez had the men burn their ships, leaving no option but to press on! Their ability to retreat to their previous way of life was gone; their safety net had been removed.

Exit strategy no, have your plan that includes income to take care of your family. If you have a family when you jump, make sure you have income sufficient to support your family. When I say no plan b, I also mean don’t be stupid. Have your plan so well thought out, you have all your contingencies covered.

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Failing shows the path NOT to travel. You back up and go a new way. Fail, back up to a new direction until you find the way! Learn to be comfortable in your pain. Pain shows us where not to be, but points us in a new direction if you find comfort in your pain. You don’t break! You improvise.

“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me.”–Erma Bombeck

Burn the damn boats. Either believe or don’t. It’s that simple. If you don’t wholly believe in your dream, rethink your vision.

Work your ass off. Want to fail? Buy into the BS you can succeed in thirty days. Plenty of bullshit programs on late night TV to sell you garbage dreams. You need to get a vision that allows for failure with NO plan b. Burn the boats. Improvise, adapt and overcome.

Learn that what you put in is what you get out. Be honest with yourself that if you’re not getting what you want, YOU can change that outcome. There is no plan b, there is today, don’t worry for tomorrow kick ass today so you can have a tomorrow.

We can stay the person we are today, or we can burn the damn boats and make a life.  

“A life that in the end God even says wow dude if I were going to live a life I would come back as you.”–Robert Bruton 

What to learn before you throw plan-b out:

  1. Activity vs. Productivity, learn the difference!
  2. Resources vs. Resourcefulness.
  3. Failure, delays, obstacles, on the other side, is your success.
  4. Unwavering faith!
  5. Visualize, see yourself already having achieved your goal.
  6. Gratitude, be grateful where you are now and grateful for what is coming.

Learn to master these few things, and you will rocket ship your success.

Now go out there and find your new life!

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Be Happy Where You Are

If you’re going to be great, you must be great where you currently are! Make what you have work. When God sees you can handle any situation the flood gates will open. You can’t use doom & gloom about your current situation. Make your ongoing situation work with an eye towards a new future.

“When you rise in the morning, give thanks for the light, for your life, for your strength. Give thanks for your food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason to give thanks, the fault lies in yourself.”–Tecumseh
Let’s break this down a bit, so it makes sense if you hate your current job for example. As hard as this may be, you need to make it work. Why you do how you can expect God to bless you with more if you’re not grateful for what you have? Keep in mind you can let God know what your heart is with him and ask for a change. Pray for a new beginning but show him that you will stay in faith where you are.

I agree it is difficult. However, it makes total sense that before you can get more, you need to be okay where you are. Entrepreneurs can be handed a bag of dog poop and told that is the main ingredient for the Ice Cream they must make. Learn to make Ice Cream out of dog poop.

happy, life, love

My point is no matter what life looks like making the best of what you have. Do this and on the other side is the life you truly desire.

So, let’s assume for the sake of conversation that you detest where you are in your life. Your job stinks, you’re doing what you have to do not what you want to do. Right there with you! Apart from writing this blog post for me is a want-to-do not a have-to-do.

Here are some ideas I would like to share with you to accept where you are as temporary:

  • Make the best of each day. Don’t use negative narratives to describe where you are. You may very well think that life sucks where you are. Change that conversation to “thank you God for the new life that you are blessing me with.” Be grateful for where you are and what is coming.
  • Think about this. You have not because you ask not. Are you praying for a new life? Not, “oh please God get me out of here.” In prayer let God know as a friend your desires, then let him do his job.
  • Visualize and meditate on the life you want. See yourself in that place you desire. Do this daily. Let the Universe begin to move obstacles away and have patience and faith!
  • Keep this in mind. When doing something you may not like to do, work with jerks you don’t want to be with, stay in a relationship you have no hope of happiness. It’s all temporary. Focus on the solution NOT the problem. Learn to quiet your mind in meditation and believe with everything that is you, life can and will change!

Nothing negative we go through is a life sentence. It’s a season of life where the enemy will do everything necessary to bring you down. Change the narrative of your life. Focus on the outcome, be grateful for that outcome even if you see absolutely no way of getting there.

The life you want is on the other side of pain, frustration, hopelessness, if you stay in faith even when you see no way, I promise you will find a new season opening up for you. Never give up!

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