Need to Stop Arguing this may Help

How to start a civil conversation when you and your spouse, significant other, are fighting to the point you can’t say a polite word. This takes both you coming to the table as a cease-fire.

This is a fantastic way to have a civil conversation. What our goal will be is to talk without fighting. If you can begin a civil discourse, then you can start to find healing words and a way back to happiness.

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For this, to work you have to both agree to NOT talk about your fight. This is a total cease-fire of all ugliness! Each of must come with an open heart. 

  1. Make a time where you can sit down totally uninterrupted. No alcohol, no wine, just coffee or a soda. The two of you ONLY. Kids need to-go-to grandmas.
  2. Each of you agrees with no curse words.
  3. Rock, paper, scissors to see who talks first. Best two out of three if needed.

So what is the conversation going to be?

Give this some thought before you sit down. Assuming you are agreed.

Pick something about your life that your partner does not really know about you. The story can be about anything except for a topic that Segways into your argument. 

The whole point of this is to talk about something that allows the two of you to communicate! Each takes a turn in telling a story, having a conversation that is merely the two of you talking.

If you’ve completed this, we have one more exercise.

What made you fall in love with each other? Have a conversation about what makes you happy together.

If you can do these two things then perhaps what you’re arguing about is not that big a deal. Sometimes, we just need to talk civilly and then remember why we love one another.

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Today be Present in the Moment

Being present in the moment is something I learned later in life and at some cost. Life can get hectic, bills, stress at work, you could fill in dozens of more distractions.

What do we mean by being present in the moment? If your children are tugging on you to pay attention to them. When your mind is somewhere else, focused on how you’re going to pay the rent for example. Kids can sense when you’re not paying total attention.

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Even a spouse can sense when you are not really there. The mind is sifting through tons of garbage, not what is at hand. Just, not paying attention.

It’s easy to justify the stress overtaking the moment. “If I don’t focus on my work we don’t eat.” That very well may be true to a point. Eight o’clock at night business is closed you can give your spouse, or children some of your time.

Being able to be present in the moment with family is precious. You can’t get back time, ever! What I learned the hard way is that your stress will be there in the morning, why not leave it at the front door. Easier said than done!

Here are some things I do today so that I can be present in the moment:

  1. Stress if I allow overtaking my brain, makes matters worse. Learn to harness your stress. If you freak out, that is precisely what your Universe will deliver to you!
  2. Meditate daily. Learn to relax, focus your mind. It’s in these moments solutions will come to you. Peace will come to you!
  3. Breathe, you heard me breathe. During the day, stop and breathe. Take a couple deep cleansing breaths and then breath in through the nose and out through the mouth. Do this for about a minute only. Try it you will be amazed.
  4. Prioritize time for your family. They’re way more important than ANYTHING else you could be focused on. Happy breeds Happy in your home! You bring the stress and guess what, that’s what the family gets, stress. Stop it!
  5. Take a walk. I am not talking about going to the gym take a walk. Get outside and clear your head. Enjoy the world around you. Learn to relax. Walking helps to do this. This is not a workout walk, this is holding the hand of your spouse walk.

Don’t put this off until tomorrow, next month, you need to give this gift to yourself. Time is more precious than we imagine while stressed out. If you can’t be present at the moment for your family voluntarily, what would happen if heaven forbid you were forced to focus. A health reason, someone got injured, you could find time then.

Don’t waste this precious time in your life focused on the bills, work stress, hell everyone has that. Give those that love you, YOU! Don’t tell your children you’re too busy. Don’t tell your spouse you’re too busy.

Unaquivicably, I can tell you that all the stress, worry, I brought too my life didn’t make tinkers damn in the final outcome. Meaning, it only brought more of the same full frontal stress!

Stop at the moment breathe, smile and enjoy.

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Daily Quote let’s Laugh

“From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.”–Dr. Seuss 

Take time to laugh. Even when life seems to have kicked you in the gut, find something to if nothing else smile. Put some joy in your heart. Want the cure-all — Laugh!

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Daily Quote be Inspired

“You are the sum total of everything you’ve ever seen, heard, eaten, smelled, been told, forgot – it’s all there. Everything influences each of us, and because of that I try to make sure that my experiences are positive.”–Maya Angelou  

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