Following Your Dreams vs. Doing What You “Have” to Do

At some point in life, nearly everyone faces the same dilemma: do you chase after your dreams, or do you settle for the job, the bills, and the responsibilities that keep you feeling stuck? This is a universal tension—between who you want to be and who you think you must be.

On one hand, there’s safety: a steady paycheck, predictable bills, maybe even the illusion of stability. On the other hand, there’s the fire inside—the dream you’ve carried since childhood, the vision of a life that feels alive, purposeful, and uniquely yours. Most people end up choosing the “safe” path, not because they lack dreams, but because they feel trapped by obligations.

But here’s the truth: the reasons you stay stuck—bills, other people’s opinions, fear of failure—are rarely as permanent as they seem. In the long run, those reasons won’t matter nearly as much as whether you lived your life with purpose. You can find a way, even when you don’t know how. And the journey toward your dreams doesn’t require reckless abandon; it requires courage, clarity, and persistence.

This article explores what it means to follow your dreams versus doing what you feel obligated to do, why people get stuck, and how you can move from survival mode into a life of significance.

Why So Many People Feel Stuck

The Weight of Bills and Responsibilities

The most common reason people give for not pursuing their dreams is financial. Mortgage payments, car loans, student debt, or simply the cost of keeping food on the table can feel like chains that keep you tethered to a job you hate. And on the surface, it makes sense—bills don’t wait for inspiration.

But if we peel back the layers, bills are only temporary. They are recurring, yes, but they don’t define your existence. What defines you is how you respond to those pressures. Some people stay in survival mode forever, while others begin building pathways out, even one step at a time.

Fear of the Unknown

Dreams, by definition, carry risk. You may fail. You may embarrass yourself. People may question you. The fear of “what if” is often louder than the hope of “what could be.” That fear is what keeps people stuck in jobs that don’t inspire them.

External Expectations

Many of us live lives designed by other people: parents, teachers, bosses, or society at large. “Be practical.” “Get a good job.” “Don’t rock the boat.” These voices echo so loudly that sometimes we forget our own.

The Cost of Staying Stuck

Emotional Burnout

Living a life you don’t love isn’t just inconvenient—it takes a toll on you. Stress, anxiety, lack of motivation, and even physical health issues often stem from doing work that doesn’t align with who you are.

Missed Potential

Every day you spend ignoring your dreams is a day you’ll never get back. The world never gets to see the book you wanted to write, the company you wanted to build, the art you wanted to share. Potential unused becomes regret later in life.

Regret at the End of Life

One of the most common regrets of the dying, documented by hospice nurses, is: “I wish I had lived a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” Bills and obligations fade, but regret endures.

Why Following Your Dreams Matters

Fulfillment Over Survival

When you pursue something that truly matters to you, even if it’s difficult, you feel alive. Work becomes more than just a paycheck; it becomes an extension of your identity and a reflection of your passion.

The Ripple Effect

When you chase your dreams, you inspire others to do the same—your children, friends, and even strangers who see your courage. Following your dreams isn’t selfish; it’s contagious.

Growth Through Challenge

Dreams aren’t easy, and they’re not supposed to be. They stretch you, force you to grow, and teach you resilience. Even if you stumble, you’ll be stronger for having tried.

“I Don’t Know How”: Finding a Way Forward

The biggest obstacle people mention is not knowing how to leap. But the truth is, you don’t have to know the whole path—you only need to see the next step.

Step 1: Get Clear on the Dream

Please write it down. Be specific. “I want to start a bakery” is more powerful than “I want freedom.” The clearer the dream, the easier it becomes to see paths forward.

Step 2: Take Tiny, Consistent Steps

You don’t need to quit your job tomorrow. You can begin evenings, weekends, or mornings before work. Dreams don’t require giant leaps—they require steady steps.

Step 3: Simplify Your Life

Many people are trapped because of financial overextension. Downsizing expenses, selling what you don’t need, or eliminating debt creates breathing room for your dreams.

Step 4: Build Resilience Against Fear

Fear will always show up. The trick is not to wait until you’re fearless, but to act while afraid. Courage isn’t the absence of fear—it’s moving forward despite it.

Step 5: Find Your People

Surround yourself with encouragers, dreamers, and doers. The wrong voices will tell you it’s impossible. The right voices will remind you it’s inevitable.

Stories of “Finding a Way”

J.K. Rowling

Before she became one of the most successful authors of all time, Rowling was a single mother living on welfare, writing in cafés while her baby napped. She didn’t know how her dream of being a writer would work out. She kept showing up on the page.

Walt Disney

Disney was fired from a newspaper job for “lacking imagination.” He went bankrupt several times before building the empire we know today. If anyone had reasons to quit, it was him. Instead, he found ways to keep creating.

Everyday Heroes

Not every dream ends in fame or fortune. Some are quieter: the teacher who leaves corporate life to inspire children, the mechanic who opens his own garage, the mother who goes back to school in her 40s. These stories prove that what matters isn’t scale—it’s alignment.

The Mindset Shift

The most significant transformation comes when you realize that “I have to” is often a story you tell yourself. You don’t have to stay in the same job forever. You don’t have to ignore your passions. You choose to—for now. And choice means you can also decide differently.

Bills don’t vanish, but neither does your potential. Both exist, and both can be managed. The mindset shift is this: instead of seeing bills as chains, see them as stepping stones. Pay them while you build. Use them as fuel for your determination.

Practical Exercises

  1. Vision Journal – Write down in detail what your dream life looks like. Where do you live? What work do you do daily? Who are you with? The more vivid, the more motivating.
  2. Fear Mapping – List every fear you have about pursuing your dream. Then write down what would happen if that fear came true. Most aren’t as devastating as they feel.
  3. One-Hour Rule – Dedicate one hour a day to your dream, no matter what. Over a year, that’s 365 hours—nearly the equivalent of nine 40-hour workweeks.
  4. Reverse Timeline – Imagine your dream accomplished. Now work backward step by step to where you are today. This often reveals practical next steps.

The Long View

Dreams aren’t accomplished overnight. They may take years, even decades. But if you keep taking steps, the compounding effect of consistent effort will surprise you. One day, the life you once only imagined will be the life you’re living.

And when you look back, the bills, the doubts, and the fear won’t matter. What will matter is that you found a way.

Life is short, but it’s also long enough to waste if you’re not intentional. You can spend decades stuck in jobs that drain you, telling yourself that obligations are more important than dreams. Or you can decide—today—to take even the smallest step toward the life you want.

Yes, there will be bills. Yes, there will be obstacles. But those things are temporary. What’s permanent is the imprint you leave on the world by daring to live fully alive.

You don’t have to know the entire path. You only have to start walking. And in time, you’ll discover the truth: you were never as stuck as you thought—you were only one decision away from freedom.

Robert Bruton is a multifaceted creative visionary whose work spans literature, photography, and filmmaking. As an author, Robert’s captivating storytelling delves into the mysteries of human nature, life’s challenges, and the pursuit of purpose. His written works resonate with readers, offering profound insights and inspiration from his journey of perseverance and creativity.

https://www.amazon.com/author/robertbruton

Proverbs Great Place to Begin

Proverbs 1 King James Version (KJV)

1 The proverbs of Solomon, the son of David, king of Israel.

2 To know wisdom and instruction; to perceive the words of understanding.

3 To receive the instruction of wisdom, justice, and judgment, and equity.

4 To give subtilty to the simple, to the young man knowledge and discretion.

5 A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels:

6 To understand a proverb, and the interpretation, the words of the wise, and their dark sayings.

7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.

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When I learned about Proverbs for the first time and then began to study this book of the Bible. Everything in our lives that needs understanding can be found in the book of Proverbs.

Reading self-help books, all the information in these books can be found in Proverbs. When you read the book, you will correlate much of what you learn to books you have already read.

Reading the book of Proverbs will amaze you when your first read this book. Many versus you will have heard in some shape or form that you did not realize was a part of this fabulous book.

King Solomon wrote this as an amazing man. It’s been said that in today’s terms, he would be hundreds of times wealthier than today’s billionaires. The money let’s be clear Solomon always prayed for wisdom. Hence the book.

With knowledge comes power. Responsibly used and King Solomon even to this day is unmatched. He was a good man and a good King.

If you find yourself as I did a novice at understanding the Bible. Reading Proverbs opens a world that is filled with hope. When we understand life, we have the wisdom to progress our lives. Bounties begin to manifest in your life.

This was Solomon’s key to success in every aspect of life. Wisdom! Knowledge is power, this statement rings so true.

When you have the wisdom to withstand life adversity. You will plow through anything life throws at you. Understanding that challenges are seasons of learning, “this to shall pass.” We’ve all heard this saying.

If I could recommend any place to start in the Bible. My first choice would be Proverbs. The Bible is an excellent read.

A couple of suggestions, I enjoy the Message Bible and The Passion translation. For me, much easier to read than say the King James Version. Written more in today’s language, I was able to not have to stop and look up words while reading.

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Letting God Drive

Are you a backseat driver? Can you sit back and enjoy the ride, or do you have to continue to “turn here” “watch for that car” “it’s faster turn here?”

The hardest Christian decision I have had to make is “Let Go & Let God!” Faith in something that you cannot see.

You must learn to let God drive. Sit back in the car, shut up, do the work, stay in the word, pray,, and God will do his thing!

The Bible says:

Hebrews 11.1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.  

Faith is hard when you cannot see God cheering you forward. It’s particularly tricky when results are not appearing. During these times, most will simply give up. Only to say all the God mumbo-jumbo does not work.

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Faith will be tested by the enemy with a relentless barrage of self-doubt, negative thoughts, and anything else that can be thrown at you. Important to note! This will pass. Your faith will be tested, and it will give if you stay in faith.

Can’t see the end, stay in faith. Can’t see hope, remain in worship. Can’t take another moment of pain, stay in faith. All of this will pass. Yes, it hurts at the time horribly. This is when you simply fall to your knees and let God know you don’t have anything left, it’s all up to him.

Do that with a sincere heart. Your life will change! 

For those of you that read me, you know one of my favorite examples of faith. You quit that which you desire just moments before God had planned change. Example: You asked God for a dream job. The job God has in mind to give you is currently occupied by a beautiful person getting ready to enjoy a well-earned retirement. This person is a short six months away from a beautiful life.

You’ve been busting your fanny trying to find a dream job for some four months. No responses, nothing coming at all. God has moved your destiny into play for the job that will be vacant in just thirty more days. Your head is telling you that what’s the point five months of searching and nothing. A flat zero!

What you don’t know is that in just thirty days more. God is moving people, places, and things so that you get this dream job. The enemy is in your head, telling you it’s hopeless. You give in, and life passes you by again.

Staying in faith is damned hard. You have to believe as though there is NO other outcome other than you will have your dream job. Whether it takes one day or six months. It does not matter to you, it’s yours. No plan, B! Laser focused.

How do you stay this way, you may be asking. 

  • Prayer that includes gratitude that you already have the job! 
  • Meditate, see yourself doing the job. See yourself already working in the position you desire. 
  • Stay in faith, even when you see NO way! 
  • Throw any Plan B out the window! Plan B suggests your faith has a limit; ask yourself, does it? 
  • Resources vs. Resourcefulness (Learn the difference, your life with rocketship to the moon. 

Do the work; don’t sit on your ass and expect things to just come running to you. We all must do the job. Nothing comes for free.

Train yourself to see the outcome. Look towards that which you desire with affection, love, and the unrelenting knowledge it’s yours. Do it, and your life will unfold in ways you never dreamt!

Sit back and enjoy the ride, let God drive!

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Fighting Old Habits

“The key to forming good habits is to make them part of your ‘rituals.’ I have a morning ritual, afternoon ritual, and Sunday ritual. It’s one way to bundle good habits into regular times that you set aside to prepare yourself for the life you want. Rituals help you form habits.”—Lewis Howes

With no real easy way to tell you this. Your head is going to be at times, your most formidable adversary. Wanting to stay status quo. Comfortable in misery. So much so you don’t feel the pain at a level like the beginning.

Changes in our lives, new paradigms to replace old thought processes is what is needed now. The past will not give up easily. Prepare yourself for a title fight.

If you’re a Christian, the enemy is preparing an attack like you’ve never fought. Why? He wants you to continue miserable. He hopes that you will implode. As we move further in this chapter, I will share with you how I made it through the toughest times.

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The enemy will attack you to keep you down. He is afraid of losing you to an excellent team. So he will fight you in the form of:

  • Depression (not diagnosed or medicated) Just feeling depressed.
  • Keep your mind on past mistakes.
  • I am feeling hopeless.
  • I am reliving the past over-and-over in your head.
  • Dark thoughts of self-harm. (NEVER AN OPTION)

Working through this will be difficult, and you will be tested. You can and will get through this time.

We are making it easier to understand. We all buck change at work. If a policy changes everyone in the office complains. “Why are they changing, the old way worked.”

Let’s say, for example, you’ve done the same thing, the same way for years-and-years. Change won’t come easy. Excuses like:

  • I’m too set in my ways.
  • I’m too old to change now.
  • Too hard f*&^ it.

Don’t fool yourself into these false statements. You can change, you’re not too old, stop limiting yourself!

“It always seems impossible until it’s done.”—Nelson Mandela

Allow yourself to change. It won’t happen overnight; I can tell you I still fall into traps; however, I can happily report that the bear traps are further apart.

So how do we bring about real change, especially when confronted with real pain? Here is how I brought myself out of the dark:

  1. Learn to quiet your mind. Declutter all the garbage that goes through our minds. Meditation can be life-changing if you practice daily.
  2. Something that seems innocuous has tremendous value — taking times daily to slow your breathing for sixty seconds only. Slows your pulse, helps relax your body, relieve tension. Tension causes aggravation. Breathing several times per day for a minute or so will slow you down.
  3. Do something physical every day. Walk, gym, run, get off your butt, and do something to relieve stress in your body.
  4. Helping others will get you outside yourself. Reminding you that life is not all about you. Be a blessing to someone!

Changing our lives takes time and work. You can’t all a sudden tell God you want to make a million dollars this year, order a Pizza and wait. Sorry life takes real work.

The most important of this is discipline and organization. Set reminders daily to do the tasks laid out in this book. Otherwise, you wake up a week later and go, “crap, I was supposed to meditate every day.”

If you want lasting and real change, fill your calendar with an activity that fosters change.

You are fighting with yourself. I call it kicking your own ass. Your noodle will run from the pain of change. Your mind is falsely convincing you that you cannot change. It’s too hard. Don’t listen to these false prophecies of your life. Years of conditioning will take time to shake off old paradigms.

At times this will seem relentless the attack on you to stay status quo. The enemy will come at you in ways that look as though you cannot win. You will feel alone, like nothing you can do will ever help. Surrender to God. Let him know that you can’t see a way, but you know he will take away.

When I first moved from my home in South Texas to live in West Texas. My ex-wife wanted a divorce that I honestly at the time did not want a divorce. Financially in dire straits, the woman I believed to be my soulmate now gone.

Could not at the time be in more of a dark place. I had so many times thought I had no reason to live. Scary how close that came to pass. For whatever reason, I never acted on dark thoughts. Thank God I did not.

With some lucid moments of I need to start over. I began to think about life without my wife. I decided I would get into Church and try to understand the spiritual side of my life. I was drawn to this need to find a Church home.

After finding a Church that was recommended to me by someone that I trust, I became a regular attendee, most times staying for two of the three Sunday services. Because my head would clutter with such garbage; I was fighting so hard to hear what the Pastor said; it was exhausting.

Most Church services end with a call to give your life to Jesus Christ. To confess, you’re a sinner and that you accept Jesus as your Lord and savior. For a few weeks, I had faithfully attended sitting mostly in the back of the sanctuary.

One Sunday during this altar call; I raised my hand. The Usher came and gave me a CD, and I confessed and prayed the short prayer to accept Jesus Christ. At the end of this part of the service, the Pastor headed across the stage stopped and turned.

He began to say “sir, sir,” not realizing he was trying to get my attention for a moment. As I realized he was trying to get my attention. Pastor Don said to me God had put in his heart for whatever I was doing artistically to keep going, don’t stop.

Here is the real kicker to the story. I had been blogging, take pictures with my camera and stating to myself that for the last half of my life I was going to do what I wanted to do not what I have to do. I wanted to be a freelance writer and photographer.

Not one person in this Church, including the Pastor, knew me from Adam. I stayed to myself and never said as much as a good morning unless first approached.

No way could the Pastor know that I was doing or working on anything artistically. This Pastor stopped in the middle of the ending of this service to tell me that God told him to say to me, keep doing what I love to do.

To say the very least, I was utterly in shock. It took a bit for this to sink in. Nothing in my life to this point was so profound.

This event helped me to go further and keep trying. Freely I admit stumbling and falling post this event. However, remembering that God has come into my life then and several times since then.

When I thought a couple of times all is lost something would happen to show me that even with a Mustard seed of faith left, God would bless me so that I knew he was still protecting me.

My point of this is even in your darkest moment when you see nothing, but my life is worthless not also worth being here. God if you try, if you fight through when you cannot see anything but dark, let God know you are trying to hold on, God will answer.

Today after many events from small to abundant miracles. God has convinced me that if I focus my faith, he will lead me through anything. Now I run after God.

The old me would not have hung in the darkness to realize the blessing. I would have long before quit and moved on. That is the old paradigms I must break. When enough-is-enough, you will change. My time was when I moved to West Texas, once you make that decision, you will be amazed at how life opens for you!

No matter what happens, you cannot quit. Take one more step, always.

Let me share with you why having patience will serve you well.

The dream job of a lifetime is something that you now focus your attention too — searching far and wide for this wonderful job. Some time goes by with nothing happening, and you cannot see any hope.

What you don’t know is that a beautiful person occupies the job you seek; someone that has had a fantastic career, beloved by all at the job. This person is getting ready to retire; the job will come available for you to apply for and get!

This person is another thirty days from retirement, and well-deserved retirement. God has you in mind so that this job will cross your path. Your search has gone on for five months with no results, so you quit thirty days before the position of a lifetime comes available.

Your focus moves on to something else, and the Universe moves on because you did.

Stay in faith even when you don’t see a way God is making a way. You won’t know what is having to take place in front of you before God can move this part of your destiny to unfold for you. The Universe won’t cut you in line. So have patience!

Here is the real kicker that will blow your mind. You can’t move yet because God is blessing someone you don’t know with something you currently have. He is driving your life around to be a blessing for someone you don’t even know.

Point is none of us know. So why stress over a fair outcome that may take a little more time. How many times have you quit than if you had not your life might be completely different? Think about that. Patience can make all the difference in your life. Faith, Hope, resolve, need to be your mantra!

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Patience

One of the hardest traits in my life to learn, from my New Book: Mastering Life God’s Way:

Patience!

“I believe that a trusting attitude and a patient attitude go hand in hand. You see, when you let go and learn to trust God, it releases joy in your life. And when you trust God, you’re able to be more patient. Patience is not just about waiting for something… it’s about how you wait, or your attitude while waiting.”—Joyce Meyer

Without which, you will stifle growth by imposing your own will that goes against what your destiny shall become.

Keep in mind that life, you must allow destiny to adjust itself, change trajectory, for your destiny to unfold. Changing your life means a whole new direction, so you must allow God to move things around to fulfill your destiny.

Let’s say you want a fantastic job that is currently filled by an amazing person. Someone that has left a real mark in this life. Someone, that if you knew them personally would be a friend! Let’s say this person is going to retire in six months. God’s plan is for you to fall right into this job that currently you are totally unaware of. Without patience, you may give up just a few yards from the finish line. Don’t be that person!

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Nothing worth having happens overnight. Shortcuts get rich quick; you have to work seven days a week; it is all garbage. Beautiful flowers don’t bloom overnight. The sun does not rise all at once. Everything in our lives happens in the time our destiny is supposed to unfold before our eyes. Any faster, and you lose the real blessing.

God’s will, not our will. Let that naturally happen, and wow! When you impose your own will, we tend to want everything right now. Do this, and you will receive, tension, stress, overwhelmed mind, and misery. Then you’ll quit, instead of receiving the beautiful blessings headed your way.

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