For as many years as I can remember, being calm was challenging for me. What occurs when you can’t find peace is irritability, anxiety, health issues, and the list.
In my research, the critical ingredient is learning to be calm to find peace in my own life. Calm under fire!
When you learn to master the skillful art of remaining calm under fire, you can overcome anything that life throws at you.
How, might you say?
First, you need to learn how to breathe and focus on breathing in stressful situations.
Breathe in, counting to four slowly. Feel the air enter your lungs.
Hold your breath for 4 seconds. Then, try to avoid inhaling or exhaling for 4 seconds.
Slowly exhale through your mouth for 4 seconds.
Repeat steps 1 to 3 until you feel re-centered.
In through the nose and out through the mouth. Nice easy breaths.
Keeping your fingertips together while breathing has also been helpful for me. As stress elevates, I rub my fingertips together slowly. It’s calming.
Breathing will help relieve the stress that can cause pain in the neck and back.
Why all this is so important, you may ask.
Our mind functions way faster and more alert when our head is not spinning. Have you ever noticed that in a quiet space, for example, your head won’t shut up? We all have. I wrote an article called When Silence Screams.
Getting to a relaxed place will have incredible value for you. Your decision-making will be more spot-on when your head is quiet. Stress will be minimized in all aspects of your life. There is a difference between healthy and unhealthy habits.
Imagine being able to summon calm—stress response vs. calm response. Think about your dad. Would he respond more favorably to a stressed-out crazy response or a clear, favorable, collected response?
Like anything new, this will take time to learn. At first, you will undoubtedly suck at being calm in the face of adversity. Then, however, you will gain confidence as you apply to breathe into your life.
As you learn new life skills, you must be easy on yourself. Set reminders that say “breathe.” Doing so will help shorten your learning curve. Make this part of your everyday!
Breathing will help you change your outlook from doom to I got this! Everyone you meet will be amazed that you don’t rattle. You learn to improvise, adapt and overcome any situation with a sharp mind.
Take time daily to meditate when you can to calm yourself. Meditation will help clear the stress and open your mind to receive intelligent thoughts. Not a mish-mosh of “Oh God, the world is over.” Vs. Clear, sharp, and concise.
Meditation should also become part of your everyday life. So, give yourself the gift of forty-five minutes of calm.
Now that you have read this short article. It’s time to get going. Set a reminder right now to breathe. Just doing breathing exercises throughout your day will begin to have positive progress.
My life has changed immeasurably by doing what I just wrote for you. Friends say my face does not look stressed; people near me say I am not as snappy as I might have been carrying stress.
“They always say time changes things, but you have to change them yourself.” –Andy Warhol
Before you begin this book, I am going to ask you to do one thing. Do this; it will be liberating!
Accept your life as it is now. No matter your lot in life, where you are, or your social situation. Simply accept your life. Let go of everything and accept. Let go of mental things, let go of emotional pain, everything, let go of it.
Do this only for yourself. Don’t worry about others; this is you—absolute acceptance of your entire being. You do not have to prove a damn thing to anyone; be within yourself.
By doing this, you can start from a clean slate. Your life is a do-over. Accept who you are, where you are. Now everything can be fresh. Begin here. Acceptance!
“I accept who I am. Today is day one of my NEW life.”
Let’s talk about the next step from Acceptance.
Do you desire to change?
How bad do you want to change?
Enough to follow through, or will this go silently adrift into the abyss? (Being honest with yourself)
You, however, must desire and want change. People say all the time, “yes, I want that.” But, unfortunately, very few see change through to fruition.
You must be willing to change your environment, habits, and outlook to achieve lasting change.
Be sick and tired of being sick and tired!
Learn to set yourself up for success—activity vs. Productivity.
“Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could do only a little.” –Edmund Burke
Never think a small step or time is an issue. Forward momentum!
If you understand how something will impact your life in a meaningful way, you will change. Unfortunately, it is NOT motivation; you lack its knowledge.
Learn WHY and the rest will fall in place! When you learn enough to understand the outcome of what you are trying to change. It is fun at that point. You feel sucked in by the force of knowing something unique is about to happen.
It’s not possible to remain the same person every day until you die. Otherwise, you would still need diapers. We grow; we learn. It is the way of things.
Remember, the world may be in turmoil; you do not have to be. Life can control you, or you can manage your own life. Things will happen out of our control; however, if it is not in your lane, stay in your lane! Keep the faith that change is occurring and forthcoming.
Be open to change no matter how impossible your perception of life is right now. What happens to you is what you allow mentally (of course not physically). You have more strength than you know.
Beat down emotionally? The only way from here is up. Never fall into the mindset that life is over, no hope. Nothing is over until it’s over. Want to be done with all the bullshit? You can and will find a way. I did!
With the change, you may find that friends may fall out. If people in your life fade away, let them go. Sometimes change occurs. Destinies change. Be open.
Somedays, you will feel alone. Somedays, you will say F’ it, I am not strong enough. I, too, had those days, dark days to the point of resigning myself to ending my life. At that moment, shit just was not worth it anymore.
I am aimlessly walking through life with nothing to hope for, nothing to live for, and broken. I have shared this story a few times in my podcast and blog.
Four years or so ago. A failed marriage, a divorce that at the time I did not want. At the time, I loved my wife very much. To add insult to injury, I paid for a divorce that I did not wish to occur.
More to the point, once the pain subsided, I realized our lives had different destinations. Hurt, but it made sense.
With not much left in my life, I moved to West Texas at the request of my family. So off to West Texas Glitzy, my dog and I go.
Fast forward a bit. I began to go to Church in Odessa, Texas. Two amazing things happened to me.
First, I was searching for anything that would bring me peace.
While sitting in church one Sunday morning, the pastor was doing an alter call. Where folks in the congregation give themselves to Jesus Christ or reaffirm their decision, keep in mind for the next part that I, other than being polite and saying good morning, not a soul in the church, knew who I was.
On this Sunday, I raised my hand. After the prayer and everyone sat down. The pastor was walking across the stage and stopped. Turning back towards the crowd, he began to say, “Sir, sir” finally realizing he was calling out to me, I was surprised. The pastor said to me, “God had put in his heart that whatever creative things I was working on don’t stop.”
Not knowing me from Adam, the fact that I had been writing a great deal, my goal for that year was to publish my first book. How could he ever know that? Ponder that.
That year not only did I publish my first book, but I also actually published seven.
Second, a miracle that happened for me follows:
I have attended the church for several months now. But, honestly, at this moment, I will freely admit not much was changing, and I had fallen back into a deep depression.
An event at the church had come up a barbeque. As I sat alone at a table during the event, finding myself at the lowest point in my life. Nothing seemed like it would ever work out. At this moment, I made the decision it was simply time to go. End Life and end the pain. The scary part is a false sense of peace came over me.
At this moment, I hear some say, “Bob is that you?” As I turned, I saw Paulette, the Pastors wife standing behind me and calling out to me as I had made this horrible decision.
Paulette asked me what I was doing sitting alone. We exchanged pleasantries, and she invited me to sit at her table and join her friends. I hesitantly accepted.
As the evening progressed, I began to realize people were genuinely friendly. I was enjoying myself entirely for the first time in what seemed to be years.
On my way home, I felt at peace.
My point to these two events is this. No way could Pastor Don have had any idea I was a writer. Likewise, Paulette could not have known that seconds before she said something to me, I had planned that my life was not worth living.
In my mind, God spoke through them to me not one time but two. So my belief tells me that God said that my life did have meaning in my darkest moment.
Whether you believe or have faith, miracles do happen. Change can happen. We don’t always understand why life is what it is, but hope does exist, even when you find yourself ready to give up.
My prayer for you is never to think that life cannot be changed for the better. I am living proof that you can. Even though I did not want a divorce, I am excited about my life and the days ahead.
Writing brings me joy and peace. When writing, I honestly feel that is what I am supposed to be doing.
“Change is hard until it’s not.”—Robert Bruton
First, you must begin right now to be open to change. To say to yourself, “what if this guy is right?” I can change my entire life no matter age, gender, education, or station in life. You can change. Simply put, you must want change.
This statement will sting a little bit because it is brutally honest. Get these two statements out of your head:
“I am old school.” I am not going to change. (Hard truth answer. You’re too lazy to change.) Ouch, but damn, stop saying that.
“I am not a morning person.” (Get your ass out of bed. A life filled with happiness, and you would rather sleep lazy ass.) Ouch again, but NO, you can get up and meet the day with everything that is you; come on now.
“I hated every minute of training, but I said, ‘Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.” –Muhammad Ali
Limiting beliefs are no longer a part of our mantra. (PSA: sometimes we must swallow the truth that chokes us).
If you are reading this book, let us assume your answer is in the affirmative.
My mother has a great saying to my sister and me. “You did not wreck yourself overnight; you cannot fix yourself overnight.” Patience is the call of the day. As we begin this book, you will be changing many aspects of your psyche and old paradigms to wash away.
In my podcast this morning, I related a story that I would like to tell you now.
When you look at herds of animals, one animal always stands out from the entire herd or pack. In this example, I will use horses because I love horses. As horses move about, they, like all herd animals, have one leader. Imagine yourself in the herd, running across the open plains doing your thing. Today, however, you begin to run faster and stronger than you ever have. You are overtaking the lead horse.
This newfound strength came upon you. Nothing special about you thus far, but today you found a whole new speed in your run. Today you’re leading the herd.
We all have something profound within us that, at any moment, can come out. When you learn to quiet your mind, keep still in the face of adversity. You will find this new speed. Keep reading because this book is filled with more than you can imagine. Life is about to change.
Most of us buy into the “we are where we are” syndrome. You may be today, but you damn sure can be in a new place tomorrow. Get that straight out of your head; you will thank me later.
We all must learn not to listen to society’s norms. Even a well-meaning family can stifle dreams. Only two people know whether you can or cannot do a thing—you and God. Everything else is conversation.
Learning to look at life taking these things out of the equation:
Money is not a problem (how you say? We can all figure out how to start on a shoestring or fund a project. It just takes knowledge).
Knowledge is not a problem (how you say? Gaining knowledge about anything is an online or library search away).
Time is not the problem
(How you say? Learn the difference between Activity vs. Productivity, and you will master your life). My pee tests. “Did you pee today?” Yes, being the most common answer. You told me you did not have time to do anything. Yet you had time to pee. Mull that over a while, it will come to you! (Spoiler alert you have to)
These three items have been staples in how to set goals for years.
ONE BIG THING MISSING
WHAT IF FEAR WAS NO LONGER A PROBLEM?
HEALTHY FEAR YES | DEBILITATING FEAR NO
As we journey through this book, you will learn how to master your fear. Learn to condition yourself to remain calm under extreme pressure when necessary and stay calm through life.
Arguably the most debilitating of all emotions is fear. So stop you in your tracks, and these phrases have that ability for now:
Lose my job. Voluntarily or not.
Ruin my credit.
I have bills.
I have children and a mortgage.
I don’t know-how.
You can damn sure talk yourself out of anything—fear talking. But, in later chapters, we will learn how to overcome fear with knowledge.
Baby steps are okay. Forward momentum is always a good thing, big or small. Just keep the inertia moving forward.
“The person who says it cannot be done. Should stop interrupting the person doing it.”—Chinese Proverb
You are talking yourself out of doing something or allowing someone to talk you out of something you are enthusiastic about stops now. Learn to believe in your ability. Not, others’ interpretation of your abilities. Significant difference.
How many success stories have you heard from early on in a company’s Genesis that major players walked by and said, “oh, that’s not ever going to work.” Microsoft®, Apple®, Compaq®, FedEx®, and others all laughed at early on. Belief, perseverance, and the wisdom to learn from failures and build back stronger. Your life is just like that.
Change may not come at the first door; you may need to open a few before walking through the right one.
When you believe strongly enough (not wishful thinking) that you ache to do something, it calls to you. Then you figure the way. Knowledge is the key. Then, you will achieve your wildest dreams.
Knowledge is one of the key ingredients you will utilize to have people ask you in the beginning, “Why are you doing that?” to then ask you, “How did you do that?” Knowledge to achieve, solve, and overcome. The real question will be, are you willing to learn?
Learning is just like a bicycle. When you begin to learn to ride a bike, you suck. Skinned knees, maybe a broken bone, but you continue to LEARN. As you progress, you take one hill, then the next until you’re a kamikaze finding the steepest hill, the most significant jump, not caring if you bust your ass. Why? You have learned and mastered the bike.
Life is the same way. You have learned and mastered life. You don’t care if you bust your ass. Why because you know HOW to get back up. You learn to love the journey, good and bad, instead of focusing on a small failure only to peter out.
It is liberating!
“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” –Wayne Dyer
What I hear in that statement is change brings about knowledge. The bicycle metaphor, in the beginning, could be construed as menacing because you bust your ass all the time. However, as you gain knowledge to ride the bike proficiently, the bike looks like tremendous fun.
Life can be the same!
When I was a kid, I skied in Ruidoso, New Mexico. First, the ski area was named Sierra Blanca; after the mountain peak, it later changed to Ski Apache.
In my youth, the ski run I most wanted to conquer was a run called Capitan. Very steep with huge moguls. To a young boy, very foreboding. The first attempt going down the hill took what seemed to be hours traversing the mountain from one side to the other.
Capitan became one of my favorite runs to ski, and I eventually skied many races on that run with time. I went from traversing side to side to being able to downhill the slope. No turns straight, tuck, and down we go.
After a time of overcoming fear, I was able to do anything I wanted on the hill. For me, it was one of the biggest thrills of achievement in my life. Many a fun race day I had was spent on that hill.
With time and practice, you too can overcome your fear of skiing your Capitan.
To solve life’s puzzle, you need knowledge and lots of it. Conquering fear is nothing more than the knowledge to decipher what you fear. Humans are not fearful of anything they understand. Guys who handle venomous snakes (I agree crazy as hell) do so because they know how to do so. Therefore, they can take and control dangerous situations. Bomb guys the same way. Ability overcomes difficult fear and lets healthy respect reside.
Become a student of life.
Are you the go-to person in your field for a professional opinion if a national broadcast calls you? No, why?
The most challenging problem in your life, do you curl up in a ball or hit them head-on? If you knew how to solve the problem, would you still curl up in a ball? NO!
Want to change the world? How? Knowledge to solve the problems of the world might be an excellent place to start.
Want a better job? Learn how to do something better, more proficiently, and you will land a better-paying job. Solving someone’s problems and pay is not a problem. Think about that for a minute.
About to lose a relationship. Learn what it takes to have a safe, happy, loving, healthy relationship, and you will not. Or better still, if you lose, you won’t close it on yourself the next time that door opens.
Learn to solve problems, get out in front of an issue solve it. Money will not be your problem.
Remember you must start somewhere. Never think, “oh, if I get the job now, I can solve problems later.” No, get the knowledge and work your way towards your result. You cannot skip forward and expect lasting change. Do the work!
Improvise, Adapt, and overcome!
You do not need a formal education to fix your life—knowledge is accessible to all. It would help if you simply found it. Not hard at all.
When you learn that life is not holding you back, you are. It’s not what side of the tracks you were born on, education or no education. So many men and women throughout history have come from horrible situations to achieve beautiful things.
Society would like to have you believe that it’s only a select few who can achieve. Stop buying a pile of horse manure.
When you say, I don’t have the education to do that. Most successful entrepreneurs came from nothing, had nothing, and indeed no formal education.
You can gain knowledge through so many avenues:
Library, read as many books as you can, read daily. One hour per day X 365 days is 365 hours of study!
Online Searches (research) any subject you need help with learning.
Seminars (in person and online)
Training courses (in-person and online)
Find a Mentor
SBA / Score (internet search if you don’t know what this is)
Open yourself to new ideas and new ways of learning!
Srinivasa Ramanujan was an Indian mathematician that had virtually no formal math training. Yet, in his day, he solved math problems that others said were unsolvable. Moreover, his work was so advanced other scholars of the day dismissed his work.
He mainly worked in isolation. But, from this one book, A Synopsis of Elementary Results in Pure and Applied Mathematics, G. S. Carr’ this young man was able to extrapolate some of the most thought-provoking work in mathematical history. One book changed his life forever!
Sadly, this young man died at age 32.
Think about this for a minute. Your life could change forever reading one book—extraordinary to think.
Considered today, Srinivasa Ramanujan is a legend within the mathematic community and with scholars.
Another person of notable success you will certainly recognize is Demi Moore. “I was born in Roswell, New Mexico and raised by alcoholic parents in a trailer park.” (Roswell is my birthplace)
From that beginning, she did not let her environment, or lack thereof, deter her from becoming an excellent Hollywood star.
Change only occurs when you change! Do you want to change?
A developmental disorder was affecting the ability to socialize and communicate effectively.
Asperger syndrome is a condition on the autism spectrum, with generally higher functioning.
Consider Elon Musk, who suffers from Asperger’s. This amazing man has not let what some would say a disability keep him from reaching his vision. Instead, he does what he loves, someone that pursues space travel; let’s say it is not a regular Joe job.
A disorder that makes social situations awkward, I think we can all agree Elon Musk has articulated his vision in a meaningful way.
Excuses for our lives stop at this moment!
“I learned a long time ago the wisest thing I can do is be on my side, be an advocate for myself and others like me.” –Maya Angelou
You must buckle down and work. Learn how to apply knowledge to a situation and see how quickly your life changes. When you can step in front of a problem with the actual ability to solve it, the world is yours.
You have attained knowledge. Think about something that you might be afraid to try. Dancing, for example. When you begin to learn a dance, you probably look dorky until you master the steps. You don’t simply walk on the dance floor and waltz the first time beautifully. However, with practice, you will look graceful on the floor.
At that point, fear is out the window!
What if I fail? You fail if you don’t try!
What if I look stupid? Who Cares???
Everyone begins at ground zero. We all had to start somewhere with only the knowledge that we possessed at that moment. As time moved, so did the skill level; this, in turn, brings down the level of fear to a manageable level.
From an article I wrote:
What does it take to make lasting and real change?
Simply writing out goals with no concrete plan of action is useless. Lord, I want a million dollars in my bank account, do nothing, and by some miracle, it will happen because you wished it!
Sorry to burst bubble; life change takes real work. Wishing for something to happen is flat going to get you ZERO.
Want to learn the secret sauce?
Organize your life to win. From the time you get up to the time you go to bed, be about good works. Yes, you can have time for messing about. The basic plan daily is getting our job done, then playing—a balance of productivity and activity. Learn to master the difference between the two, and you will achieve your heart’s desire.
Life cannot be all about you. Make some room for making a difference every day. It can be as simple as sharing a smile, a hearty good morning. Perhaps, you visited a total stranger in the hospital or nursing home to spread good cheer. Just be a blessing to anyone today. First and foremost, to lead a life of abundance.
Everything else will fall in place when you set out to change your life to achieve happiness, peace, and joy in your heart. Having peace in your head will give you access to the far reaches of your brain. Learning to declutter our minds will open creative thoughts.
How do you say do I slow down my brain long enough to have a positive thought?
Learning through prayer and meditation to slow down decompress our brain to begin receiving new thoughts and ideas. Problem solved with a clear head.
(We have a chapter on Mediation)
As I finished this book, I returned to this spot to share a different story that I heard in a video. It struck me as thought-provoking.
I watched a video by a helicopter pilot who flies for a major TV show in Alaska. He shared a story about something he asked a Coast Guard Helicopter rescue pilot. The TV pilot asked: “how do you know when a flight is a no-go or go due to weather conditions?” To which the Coast Guard Pilot replied: “When we get called out on a rescue, the weather is normally torrential due to the nature of the call, may-day distress. The weather is not the factor if we can open the hanger door in the storm we go.” Meaning if they can manage to open the hanger door in a torrential storm, they fly no matter the conditions.
My point to this is you have a decision to make. Your life is a mayday call. Are you going to let a storm stop you? Or will you move the hanger door the hell out of the way so you can do your job? People can find the will to overcome anything. Each of us can fly no matter what the weather.
One of the best lessons I have learned; stay in my lane. Don’t get caught up with the drama, political bullshit, or anything that you personally have no control over.
When you learn to stay in your lane, you take care of what you do have control over. First and foremost is to handle your business. Getting caught up in the news or life events that we simply have no control over is counterproductive.
Taking care of our own life, our family should be our primary focus. If you let outside influences ruin your day. Ask yourself, “Why would I do that to myself.” The answer should be, “I’m not.”
We could get twisted up about Washington’s political hogwash and let that steal our joy. Ask yourself this question: “Do I have the ability to change anything in Washington outside of my vote?” Probably not, so why worry. It does not matter who is there; we can all pick apart the political process.
What should matter is how we process each day. How we interact with our family and relationships. “Am I living a life God would say, Well Done!” That being the case, the rest of life is nothing to stress over.
Staying in your lane means to live the life God has planned for you. Do the work in front of you that is from your heart. Don’t allow outside influences to steal your peace, joy, and happiness.
Prioritize your life so that nothing can interfere with your joy. Organize your life to win!
Have a productive daily routine.
Stay off Social Media during productive times.
Pray and meditate on the life you desire.
Keep God first in all you do.
Focus on body, mind, and soul daily. Healthy habits.
Over our lifetimes, we can accumulate a landfill of garbage in our heads. This is garbage that has taken a lifetime to gather. However, it is now time to empty the trash, let’s go learn how!
Let me share the same advice with you that my mother bestowed upon me. “It took you a lifetime to break your life, have the patience to allow change to occur.”
She is right; it has taken a lifetime to accumulate so much trash, it may take a garbage bag or a hundred to empty out our noodle. The good news is a lot of the garbage can be taken out never to return simply because you are ready for change. You are right?
What exactly are we talking about, garbage?
You get the idea!
Let’s plot out an action plan for change:
Make the decision you want to change your life. Whatever it is you feel you need to change, decide that today forward no more. The new you is at hand.
Organize your life so that you can feel like you are achieving something every day.
Learn how to quiet your mind. This will take some practice but will be the most fantastic thing you can do for yourself. Use headphones, find some relaxing meditation music, sounds, rain, etc. Turn off anything that will disturb you and on get somewhere no interruptions! Cannot stress that enough. Learn to relax and quiet your mind. This will open your mind and allow you to just relax.
Let God know what you desire and ask for the wisdom to find what you seek.
Get healthy. Walk to relieve tension in your body. When you’re healthy, you will be less fatigued. Your body will respond better to change.
Find something that is NOT about you. Volunteer and help others. Doing something that benefits others has an incredible cathartic result.
Learn to be thankful right where you are. Let God know every day you love what you have. When you are okay where you are. God will see that you can have more than you are ready for more in your life. Gratitude is a wonderfully blissful peace in your mind.
Don’t overload yourself. Pick a couple of things and do them consistently. We stop change because we overwhelm our brains. Believing we must do all this stuff to get a replacement now. Slow down, and change will come more quickly.
Someone shared with me, “the state of my house is in direct correlation with the state of my mind.” Look around for clutter. Get the clutter out of your life. No, it’s not organized its confusion. Desk, car, home, or office. Organize!
When deciding what your life should look like take the following OUT of the equation:
Don’t have the money.
Don’t have the time.
Don’t have the resources.
Don’t have enough education.
Too old or too young.
When framing a new life. Do it from the world is your oyster. You have NO obstacles in the way. I can hear some of you, I don’t have money, I don’t have time!
Learn quickly that in life, you can throw up an obstacle to stifle yourself. If you believe in something enough, PUT FORTH THE WORK TO ATTAIN IT. What you need will come to you someway somehow, even when you see NO idea at all.
Give this to God. Let him see you working diligently, stay in faith. You don’t know how, but you know God will make a way.
Hebrews 11:1-6 King James Version (KJV)
11 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
Do everything you can to make your dreams come true. Cannot sit on your duff and expect God to just Miracle a million dollars in your bank. That is called the lottery!
You must condition yourself to release negative thoughts as they enter your mind. This is a pass you need to fumble. Drop the ball, let it go, don’t even try to catch the negative thoughts. Easier said than done, I get it. However, you can acknowledge the idea with a resounding “Delete.”
Meditation helps with this. See yourself happy, loved, and doing the life you want. The big difference in having the experience you wish to versus having a life you are stuck with. None of us are stuck, oh, you might think you are, but you are not! That much I am 100% on.
This is a quick look at the first chapter of my book, Plan B Hell NO. Of all my books I love this one for many reasons.
Shatter your Plan B and give way to success!
Learning the Difference
“It always seems impossible until it’s done.”—Nelson Mandela
We are going to cover some perspectives that if you lean the difference between these ideologies, you will learn the first steps in unwavering faith.
You must change your mindset of lack in this first set of ideas that cause doubt. We don’t have the right resources. Learn when thinking of what you can do, say to yourself, “we just burned the boats now what?”
What to learn before you throw plan-b out:
Activity vs. Productivity acquire the difference!
Resources vs. Resourcefulness.
Failure, delays, obstacles, on the other side, is your success.
Visualize, see yourself already having achieved your goal.
Gratitude is grateful where you are now and thankful for what is coming.
Learn to master these few things, and you will rocket ship your success.
First set: Resources vs. Resourcefulness
Where most folks fail in endeavors is their belief of a lack of resources. “I don’t have this; I don’t have that.” Ultimately, nothing begins, or they don’t finish what they started because they sold themselves on the fact “I don’t have.”
Here is what is lacking. Resourcefulness! It’s not a lack of resources; it’s a lack of ingenuity that causes you to fail. Some of the most beautiful photography does not get shot from a $10,000 camera but a $100 point-and-shoot or a smartphone. It’s not the gear; it’s the eye of the photographer. Take a look at what some of the top YouTube channels shoot with; most will tell you they started with a phone or a point-and-shoot.
We are learning to plan and execute with precision. Meaning, we learn to organize yourself for production. Days are about the output from hour-to-hour. We’re going to get into this later in the book.
So how do we learn to be resourceful?
The most obvious is research. Learn everything there is to know about what you want to begin. Your knowledge needs to be you are the news organization’s first call when they need a professional opinion. The what you do does not matter, the knowledge base you have is unmatched.
Learn to make do with what you have temporarily. If you need a tool to perform your job but do not own one, can you rent, borrow, a joint venture with someone who does. For example, I am a photographer, when I need a camera Lens, I rent it. If offered a job that requires a lens that might cost me tens of thousands of dollars to purchase, I rent it!
I currently have a full-time job. I don’t have time. Can you get up an hour early? Give one hour a day every day, and at the end of the year, you’ve invested 365 hours to your new endeavor. If you’re more inclined to succeed get up at 4:00 AM. You would be in good company, Bill Gates is up, Dewayne “The Rock” Johnson is up, and so is Warren Buffet.
Can you swap for things? If someone has something, you need to see if they’re willing to accept another form of payment from you. It’s a long shot, but long shots win at the track every day! You dare to ask for what you need.
Bend the rules of any situation. BEND NOT BREAK. Bend rules to accomplish. We never bend the rules to destruct or harm. Ever! Think outside the normal.
Learn to play several hands. Double down when you can. Never rely on one solution when others may work as well.
Communicate with potential clients, vendors, or angel help. Learn to voice yourself to get what you need. You will be amazed at how many good-hearted people are out there if you present yourself well.
When you think about resourcefulness, think about people who have defied all odds to achieve. We’ve all heard of or seen Escape from Alcatraz. Arguably a prison that should be escape-proof but turned out not to be.
We’ve all heard stories of cancer recovery; you’ll never walk again, obstacles placed before folks that didn’t listen. They defied the odds and overcame incredible adversity. Where there is a will, there is a way. Pardon the cliché, but it’s true.
Resourceful people also have patience. Where many fail is, they get frustrated because change is not immediate. Resources may be moving around with the help of the Universe to align themselves with you.
I told this story in a Podcast. Think about patience this way. Say you want a job, not just any job but your dream job. You pray about it, visualize it and know you can do it. You start losing faith, so much so eventually you give up. What you did not see was that your dream job that could have been yours currently occupied by someone that had you waited just a bit longer would have been available because that person retired. God was going to steer you to this job after a deserving person was able to retire with a bang. They earned that for years of service.
God was letting someone retire with the fanfare they richly earned, and he was going to put you in it because you stayed in faith, you made it. You got frustrated and moved on. How stupid do you think you would feel if you had this knowledge after you lost the opportunity?
Opportunity can come quickly, or slowly. If your faith stays true to the course, you’re on, when the knock-on opportunities door comes it will be more than we ever imagined. Imagine the wisdom you might have received from the person exiting your dream job. What did you miss because you could not be patient?
At this point, some of you may be saying, “but I’m not that clever.” Everyone can be clever. Here are some ways you can learn to quiet your mind. When you do this, it’s incredible how much your thoughts will begin to serve you instead of stress you.
Meditation is fantastic, and anyone can do it. What this practice allows you to do is to slow your mind down. Declutters your head so you can organize your thoughts and be receptive to receive new ideas.
If you want to learn to be more resourceful, learn to meditate so your mind can clear a pathway to new thoughts.
If life is not set too well right now, meditation can help you find peace. Living in your mind will cause us to live in fear, pain, and anxiety. Our thoughts wander off into the abyss of negativity.
Meditate to get in touch with your soul. When we live from the soul, all things are possible. During meditation practice aligning with God, the divine source will release your energy. Bring into our lives joy, happiness, and oneness with the universe where real peace can live.
Connecting with Devine Energy:
As part of healthy meditation practice, we can cleanse our bodies of toxic, life-draining anxiety. We can see what our deepest desires for health, family, relationships, all in our minds. When you believe in your soul, that’s when things begin to materialize.
It’s a simple process. Find some meditative music. Use headphones if possible. You can find lots of meditation music on YouTube®. Find a relaxing position; I like to lay down on my bed flat. Breathe deeply in through the nose and out through the mouth. Deep cleansing breaths relax!
As you begin your meditation, don’t worry if your mind moves in thought. It will take some time for you to get to a point in your meditation practice that you can control your thoughts. It’s ok.
Begin to connect with God, ask him to come into your life, and only pray to him. Release your cares to him. Then show him through your mind, see yourself receiving blessings, see yourself in the state that you want to be. Visualize in your mind, your deepest desires and then tell God how grateful you are.
There is a reason it is called a meditation practice. It will take a bit of time for the mind to clear trash thoughts. It’s ok. Continue this practice daily. Several times a day if you have the time. For sure, before bedtime.
Connecting to Devine source will open your life to wonderous new blessings and peace.
If you want to be resourceful, learn to open your mind, declutter your head so you can find new ways to achieve your goals.
Second set: Activity vs. Productivity
Massive in changing anything about your life. So many people tell me they don’t have time. They can’t fit another thing in their day. My short answer, “you don’t know how to manage your time.” I usually get a lot of expletives shouted at me. Hear me out before you hit the refund button.
You will need to indulge me in an activity. First, get two pages of a daily calendar that starts and ends with your work times. You need a daily view that breaks up the day hour-by-hour. Then what I want you to do is HONESTLY write down what you do for two days literally by the hour.
Yes, you can do it, and yes, it’s a pain in the ass. How bad do you want to change?
Chronicle your day, I mean from bathroom breaks to screwing around on social media. Chin-wagging with friends, talking on the phone, you get the idea. Be honest; this is not a test but will be an ah-ha moment. “Holy crap, I waste a lot of time.”
We can find you somewhere close to 20 hours per week. I promise you will be amazed.
So, this is what activity will look like now let’s talk about what productivity looks like — time-sensitive projects, client fires, things that are typically out of your control but do take time. Of course, we must adjust for issues as they arise. The point to all this is once we get distracted, we immediately get back on task.
What a day looks like filled with production:
Set times that you can do routine daily tasks. For example, email. Can you make two times a day for email? Morning and afternoon. Daily try and identify how much time you spend on email. Most emails can wait for a time.
Give each function of your day a set time to start and complete. Never leave a task incomplete for the day if you can finish.
Learn to keep distractions to a minimum. Let friends and family know that if possible, call you at designated times.
Social media is a killer of time. It boils down to is looking at what your sister-in-law cooked for dinner or is a success your passion? Also, keeping up with friends during the day, why waste productive time? Social media eats time with NO benefit to your success.
You have 24 hours in a day, you need 6 hours of sleep, leaving you 18 hours! Now tell me you don’t have time! Get organized with time. Time is a friend or foe.
Invest time for yourself. Imagine after a year of one hour a day; now, you have 365 hours invested in your freedom. Knowledge is freedom.
Change your perspective about sacrifice. If you feel you must sacrifice anything, you’re in the wrong mode. If you think you must surrender to realize a dream you have. Ask yourself why?
What you put into a thing, for example; getting up earlier to begin your day. Some would say this is a sacrifice. NO!
Anything you do to further your life is an investment, not a sacrifice. Learn to invest in your success. Everything you do that facilitates your life experience is an investment that yields a net result.
It’s not a bloody sacrifice to have a happy life. You don’t have to give up anything to have a happy life. You gave up an hour of sleep to further your life and that somehow realistically is a sacrifice?
Look at actions you’re engaged in that you feel is a sacrifice. Then HONESTLY ask yourself why you feel that way. My guess is you’re not adequately managing your time. Don’t get pissed. We all suck at managing time. Activity vs. Productivity!
Visualize what you want. Not just about material things.
See where we’re galloping off to here? It’s an all-encompassing visualization of our life. See the life you want to have. We do this in our mind’s eye.
The best time I have found to do this is during my meditation practice. Follow these simple steps:
Have a place where you can quiet your mind without interruption.
I find it easier to de-clutter my mind with soft meditation music or outdoor sounds like crickets, ocean, rain, this type of sounds are soothing.
Begin to see with eyes closed focus your mind on what you desire to see change. See yourself happy, in a happy relationship, new job, new body, focus until you smile. Stay in that state-of-mind for as long as you’re comfortable.
Do this practice at least once per day.
When you begin to believe it, the Universe will start to manifest your dreams.
Have patience and gratitude. Lock in your faith!
Gratitude for where you are, what you have today lets the Universe know you’re available to receive blessings. Demonstrate your true faithfulness in this life. Then learn to be grateful for what is coming, what you can’t see but desire to be a part of your life.
Be happy where you are and for what is coming, and miracles will abound.
Focus on Gratitude every day. Take moments out of your day to thank God for what you have and what you cannot see. Give praise for the life you have.