pain

Plan B Hell NO

/ Robert Bruton / Leave a comment

This is a quick look at the first chapter of my book, Plan B Hell NO. Of all my books I love this one for many reasons.

Shatter your Plan B and give way to success! 

Chapter 1

Learning the Difference

“It always seems impossible until it’s done.”—Nelson Mandela

We are going to cover some perspectives that if you lean the difference between these ideologies, you will learn the first steps in unwavering faith.

You must change your mindset of lack in this first set of ideas that cause doubt. We don’t have the right resources. Learn when thinking of what you can do, say to yourself, “we just burned the boats now what?”

What to learn before you throw plan-b out:

  • Activity vs. Productivity acquire the difference!
  • Resources vs. Resourcefulness.
  • Failure, delays, obstacles, on the other side, is your success.
  • Unwavering faith!
  • Visualize, see yourself already having achieved your goal.
  • Gratitude is grateful where you are now and thankful for what is coming.

Learn to master these few things, and you will rocket ship your success.

First set: Resources vs. Resourcefulness

Where most folks fail in endeavors is their belief of a lack of resources. “I don’t have this; I don’t have that.” Ultimately, nothing begins, or they don’t finish what they started because they sold themselves on the fact “I don’t have.”

Here is what is lacking. Resourcefulness! It’s not a lack of resources; it’s a lack of ingenuity that causes you to fail. Some of the most beautiful photography does not get shot from a $10,000 camera but a $100 point-and-shoot or a smartphone. It’s not the gear; it’s the eye of the photographer. Take a look at what some of the top YouTube channels shoot with; most will tell you they started with a phone or a point-and-shoot.

We are learning to plan and execute with precision. Meaning, we learn to organize yourself for production. Days are about the output from hour-to-hour. We’re going to get into this later in the book.

So how do we learn to be resourceful?

  1. The most obvious is research. Learn everything there is to know about what you want to begin. Your knowledge needs to be you are the news organization’s first call when they need a professional opinion. The what you do does not matter, the knowledge base you have is unmatched.
  2. Learn to make do with what you have temporarily. If you need a tool to perform your job but do not own one, can you rent, borrow, a joint venture with someone who does. For example, I am a photographer, when I need a camera Lens, I rent it. If offered a job that requires a lens that might cost me tens of thousands of dollars to purchase, I rent it!
  3. I currently have a full-time job. I don’t have time. Can you get up an hour early? Give one hour a day every day, and at the end of the year, you’ve invested 365 hours to your new endeavor. If you’re more inclined to succeed get up at 4:00 AM. You would be in good company, Bill Gates is up, Dewayne “The Rock” Johnson is up, and so is Warren Buffet.
  4. Can you swap for things? If someone has something, you need to see if they’re willing to accept another form of payment from you. It’s a long shot, but long shots win at the track every day! You dare to ask for what you need.
  5. Bend the rules of any situation. BEND NOT BREAK. Bend rules to accomplish. We never bend the rules to destruct or harm. Ever! Think outside the normal.
  6. Learn to play several hands. Double down when you can. Never rely on one solution when others may work as well.
  7. Communicate with potential clients, vendors, or angel help. Learn to voice yourself to get what you need. You will be amazed at how many good-hearted people are out there if you present yourself well.

When you think about resourcefulness, think about people who have defied all odds to achieve.  We’ve all heard of or seen Escape from Alcatraz. Arguably a prison that should be escape-proof but turned out not to be.

We’ve all heard stories of cancer recovery; you’ll never walk again, obstacles placed before folks that didn’t listen. They defied the odds and overcame incredible adversity. Where there is a will, there is a way. Pardon the cliché, but it’s true.

Resourceful people also have patience. Where many fail is, they get frustrated because change is not immediate. Resources may be moving around with the help of the Universe to align themselves with you.

I told this story in a Podcast. Think about patience this way. Say you want a job, not just any job but your dream job. You pray about it, visualize it and know you can do it. You start losing faith, so much so eventually you give up. What you did not see was that your dream job that could have been yours currently occupied by someone that had you waited just a bit longer would have been available because that person retired. God was going to steer you to this job after a deserving person was able to retire with a bang. They earned that for years of service.

God was letting someone retire with the fanfare they richly earned, and he was going to put you in it because you stayed in faith, you made it. You got frustrated and moved on. How stupid do you think you would feel if you had this knowledge after you lost the opportunity?

Opportunity can come quickly, or slowly. If your faith stays true to the course, you’re on, when the knock-on opportunities door comes it will be more than we ever imagined. Imagine the wisdom you might have received from the person exiting your dream job. What did you miss because you could not be patient?

At this point, some of you may be saying, “but I’m not that clever.” Everyone can be clever. Here are some ways you can learn to quiet your mind. When you do this, it’s incredible how much your thoughts will begin to serve you instead of stress you.

  • Meditation is fantastic, and anyone can do it. What this practice allows you to do is to slow your mind down. Declutters your head so you can organize your thoughts and be receptive to receive new ideas.

If you want to learn to be more resourceful, learn to meditate so your mind can clear a pathway to new thoughts.

If life is not set too well right now, meditation can help you find peace. Living in your mind will cause us to live in fear, pain, and anxiety. Our thoughts wander off into the abyss of negativity.

Meditate to get in touch with your soul. When we live from the soul, all things are possible. During meditation practice aligning with God, the divine source will release your energy. Bring into our lives joy, happiness, and oneness with the universe where real peace can live.

Connecting with Devine Energy:

As part of healthy meditation practice, we can cleanse our bodies of toxic, life-draining anxiety. We can see what our deepest desires for health, family, relationships, all in our minds. When you believe in your soul, that’s when things begin to materialize.

It’s a simple process. Find some meditative music. Use headphones if possible. You can find lots of meditation music on YouTube®. Find a relaxing position; I like to lay down on my bed flat. Breathe deeply in through the nose and out through the mouth. Deep cleansing breaths relax!

As you begin your meditation, don’t worry if your mind moves in thought. It will take some time for you to get to a point in your meditation practice that you can control your thoughts. It’s ok.

Begin to connect with God, ask him to come into your life, and only pray to him. Release your cares to him. Then show him through your mind, see yourself receiving blessings, see yourself in the state that you want to be. Visualize in your mind, your deepest desires and then tell God how grateful you are.

There is a reason it is called a meditation practice. It will take a bit of time for the mind to clear trash thoughts. It’s ok. Continue this practice daily. Several times a day if you have the time. For sure, before bedtime.

Connecting to Devine source will open your life to wonderous new blessings and peace.

If you want to be resourceful, learn to open your mind, declutter your head so you can find new ways to achieve your goals.

Second set: Activity vs. Productivity

Massive in changing anything about your life. So many people tell me they don’t have time. They can’t fit another thing in their day. My short answer, “you don’t know how to manage your time.” I usually get a lot of expletives shouted at me. Hear me out before you hit the refund button.

You will need to indulge me in an activity. First, get two pages of a daily calendar that starts and ends with your work times. You need a daily view that breaks up the day hour-by-hour. Then what I want you to do is HONESTLY write down what you do for two days literally by the hour.

Yes, you can do it, and yes, it’s a pain in the ass. How bad do you want to change?

Chronicle your day, I mean from bathroom breaks to screwing around on social media. Chin-wagging with friends, talking on the phone, you get the idea. Be honest; this is not a test but will be an ah-ha moment. “Holy crap, I waste a lot of time.”

We can find you somewhere close to 20 hours per week. I promise you will be amazed.

So, this is what activity will look like now let’s talk about what productivity looks like — time-sensitive projects, client fires, things that are typically out of your control but do take time. Of course, we must adjust for issues as they arise. The point to all this is once we get distracted, we immediately get back on task.

What a day looks like filled with production:

  1. Set times that you can do routine daily tasks. For example, email. Can you make two times a day for email? Morning and afternoon. Daily try and identify how much time you spend on email. Most emails can wait for a time.
  2. Give each function of your day a set time to start and complete. Never leave a task incomplete for the day if you can finish.
  3. Learn to keep distractions to a minimum. Let friends and family know that if possible, call you at designated times.
  4. Social media is a killer of time. It boils down to is looking at what your sister-in-law cooked for dinner or is a success your passion? Also, keeping up with friends during the day, why waste productive time? Social media eats time with NO benefit to your success.
  5. You have 24 hours in a day, you need 6 hours of sleep, leaving you 18 hours! Now tell me you don’t have time! Get organized with time. Time is a friend or foe.

Invest time for yourself. Imagine after a year of one hour a day; now, you have 365 hours invested in your freedom. Knowledge is freedom.

Change your perspective about sacrifice. If you feel you must sacrifice anything, you’re in the wrong mode. If you think you must surrender to realize a dream you have. Ask yourself why?

What you put into a thing, for example; getting up earlier to begin your day. Some would say this is a sacrifice. NO!

Anything you do to further your life is an investment, not a sacrifice. Learn to invest in your success. Everything you do that facilitates your life experience is an investment that yields a net result.

It’s not a bloody sacrifice to have a happy life. You don’t have to give up anything to have a happy life. You gave up an hour of sleep to further your life and that somehow realistically is a sacrifice?

Look at actions you’re engaged in that you feel is a sacrifice. Then HONESTLY ask yourself why you feel that way. My guess is you’re not adequately managing your time. Don’t get pissed. We all suck at managing time. Activity vs. Productivity!

Visualize what you want. Not just about material things.

  • Happy
  • Relationship
  • Body
  • Mind
  • Soul
  • Work
  • Home

See where we’re galloping off to here? It’s an all-encompassing visualization of our life. See the life you want to have. We do this in our mind’s eye.

The best time I have found to do this is during my meditation practice. Follow these simple steps:

  1. Have a place where you can quiet your mind without interruption.
  2. I find it easier to de-clutter my mind with soft meditation music or outdoor sounds like crickets, ocean, rain, this type of sounds are soothing.
  3. Begin to see with eyes closed focus your mind on what you desire to see change. See yourself happy, in a happy relationship, new job, new body, focus until you smile. Stay in that state-of-mind for as long as you’re comfortable.
  4. Do this practice at least once per day.
  5. When you begin to believe it, the Universe will start to manifest your dreams.
  6. Have patience and gratitude. Lock in your faith!

Gratitude for where you are, what you have today lets the Universe know you’re available to receive blessings. Demonstrate your true faithfulness in this life. Then learn to be grateful for what is coming, what you can’t see but desire to be a part of your life.

Be happy where you are and for what is coming, and miracles will abound.

Focus on Gratitude every day. Take moments out of your day to thank God for what you have and what you cannot see. Give praise for the life you have.

Click Here to Check out the Entire Book available at Amazon

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A Guide To Real Change

/ Robert Bruton / Leave a comment

A sneak look at my book A Guide To Real Change. Check out Chapter 1 of this fantastic book and begin the journey to change your life. We all need help changing aspects of our lives!

Chapter 1

 Together We Begin

Excuse me, hello, excuse me. Yes, you! Can you look this way, please? You’re looking at yesterday; I need you focused forward, thank you!

Are you looking forward to TODAY? When you woke up, did your feet hit the floor, with a smile on your face? Most likely not read on.

“Never let yesterday use up too much of today.”—Will Rogers

Today is all you have. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is just that tomorrow. So, what can you do to make today a good day? Plan for it. Have a program that has tasks that need doing today. Prepare the night before at least three things you know for sure you can accomplish in a day.

Have small successes every day. Complete tasks that will help bring about big success in whatever aspect of your life that needs help the most right now. Learn productivity vs. activity, read on you’ll see what I mean.

What happens is we tend to get to scattered out with all the things we need to fix. Like, relationships, jobs, ourselves, bills, and the list gets bigger. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time! Apply that to your life, and you will achieve much more.

This process of change has eluded me. By appearance, just organizing aspects of our life for success seem simple. The real test is, are you doing it now? Will you stay consistent?

Here are some tasks to help you get started:

  1. Set daily reminders on your phone to alert you to functions for that day.
  2. Use apps like Google Tasks, Google Calendar, they’re free. I use them, and they help me a lot.
  3. Make time in the evening to plan out tasks (minimum 3) for the next day.
  4. DON’T PROCRASTINATE!
  5. Use a calendar to help your track deadlines. Also, a Project Management app is a great way to keep track of your progress.

Five quick things you can do today!

It’s your turn to win! Get started right now. Don’t think, DO!!!

This book is the first step. Keep going.

Where to Begin

You are coming to a point in life where the outcome thus far is a disaster. If this is you, welcome, I welcome you to the beginning of your new life. Just reading this won’t bring change. If you want this, it’s going to take some work.

Before we begin, the importance of this one thing Patience! It cannot be understated.

“Patience is not simply the ability to wait – it’s how we behave while we’re waiting.”—Joyce Meyer

Without the patience to allow change to occur, you will stifle progress. My mother always told me this “it took you fifty years to break your life; give yourself time to change.” She was right as most moms are.

Where a failure occurs, most is the lack of patience to allow change to occur. We live in the “I want it right now society.” Get that out of your head right now. Where I stumbled hard — not allowing the universe to set a new course for my life. Think of yourself as a large ship that needs turning around. It takes a wide berth to achieve a safe turn.

Beginning the process will have its trials and tribulations. Your mind will fill with self-doubt, where patience becomes a struggle. Misery loves the company, and your noodle will remind you that “we love pain, we’re comfortable here” because you are comfortable in pain. You won’t let go quickly.

We all find ourselves in reflection to have a relationship with our pain. It takes years to develop, and it will take time to employ a paradigm shift.

Here is the skinny because I can sense those saying, “I don’t like pain.” We get so comfortable that our mind and body accept it as usual. Therefore, forbearance will see you through.

Don’t get discouraged when it seems that nothing is changing — allowing change to occur. Imposing your own will over a situation only makes an excellent job harder than it must be. You’ve heard I’m sure on God’s time, not my time.

Change cannot come without discomfort.

Don’t quit because of trouble. Evolution is not occurring as quickly as hoped. The pain of loss or other stressors is not dissipating.  The mind is continually in a barrage of negative thoughts, self-doubt, and feels as though nothing is getting better.

“I hated every minute of training, but I said, ‘Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.”–Muhammad Ali

Keeping an eye towards a positive outcome. Being grateful in advance of anything manifesting good in life. Meditate on the result.

If you take a trip around the world at some point in time, weather delays, airport delays, canceled flights, lost luggage, lost hotel reservations, something is going to happen. The chances are high that more than once.

Would you stop an ounce in a lifetime around the world trip over a delay? No, you deal with it and keep going!

What could you tell the younger you if you could? When you’ve drifted out into life like a space void only to look back into the abyss. You get a pit in your stomach that gives way to wow this sucks. Not exactly the experience you envisioned as a younger you.

Hitting the last half of life looking in a rear-view mirror that looks like an apocalyptic mess. Challenging our thoughts with “what a waste.” It begins to stifle any outlook because age has overtaken youth. The idea “I’m not the same as I once was.”

If you’re boldly marching into a mid-life crisis, menopause, or qualify for an AARP® membership. This story is for you. More importantly, if life has not turned out as you planned or hoped, does this give you a feeling of doom?

Everything we’ve read self-help wise in our lives has said to look forward never look back. Easier said than done but very accurate.

Over a year ago, I faced the questions I am posing to you now and staring divorce in the face, that at the time I did not want. With that situation at hand, my mind forced me to look back over my life. What I saw was not the beautiful painting I had hoped it would be — instead, everything past has illuminated for me to see very clearly — damned ugly!

The real kicker is a good bit; you don’t want to change, but the ugly is ugly. This also brings up a question that is the nasty uglier because of the situation currently adding to our loss or stress.

Not only is loss bringing pain, but so is life as we’ve lived it to date. As you often see in text messages, WTF!

Where do we go from here? How can you pick yourself up out of hell and gaze into the mirror and say I love you?

The strength needed to face you is perhaps the solidity you’ve searched for all your life. The power that comes from faith the best is yet to come and believe it. Facing you in the mirror. What do you see?

The choices of what you see can be boundless when in the depths of pain. The pain can become so unbearable that terrible darkness can overtake your thoughts. Damn, what a dark place. Are you sufficiently depressed?

Here is where we learn what advice we would have given our younger self. From this fountain of youth comes wisdom to carry us into our Senior years with a new brighter outlook. The struggle to realize life was not over. It merely takes recalibration of our thoughts.

This book is available on Amazon. Click the cover to check out this amazing book.

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Quit, No Not Today

/ Robert Bruton / Leave a comment

Get out of your head quitting is an option for anything other than bad habits. What this article will help with is not stopping the good stuff just because it seems too hard. It’s only hard because your brain is telling you that it is, just like it would when running a Marathon and you hit the wall.

Most of us know that Marathon runners hit what’s called “The Wall” where your brain starts telling you that “you can’t go more, you’re hurt,” “your body can’t take more.” When in fact studies show none of that to be true. Pushing through this is how you finish the race.

The brain will develop over years of conditioning run from the first sign of pain. Your mind will tell you “no, don’t do more,” this is futile. The natural response is to move you away from pain. When in fact it’s just like training. When you go to the gym for the first time and work out hard with that comes to suffering from not having worked out in a very long time.

God, hope, prayer

The soreness from working out hard can be extreme. The same principle applies to retrain the brain that you are okay. It will hurt, your mind will tell you that what you’re trying is impossible. It is not, nothing could be further from the truth.

Many times, throughout this last year, I have wanted to give up. I kept saying to God, “I’m not losing anymore.” Over-and-over again I would say those words. Frustrated, I kept moving forward even when I saw absolutely no reason to keep going when you dig in and maintain forward momentum.

Just like working out, the soreness goes away with time. It’s not easy, but it does get better, and you become wiser.

God is like a coach when you feel as though you can’t go on, keep moving. When you show God, you can handle where you are; the blessings will come in abundance. Just stay in faith that even though you cannot see a way, a way is being made!

Not being able to predict the future frustrates us all. Having faith when you cannot see what is ahead, or your brain is telling you disaster. For most, this is where they crumble. The difference in winning and losing can be just taking one more step.

If you get knocked down, get up! Look for ways to improvise, adapt, and overcome your situation. More than one way to finish anything! Just because you chose a wrong path does not mean you can’t find the right one. If you quit, you never will.

Fight or flight will always kick in when you need it not too. Fight, stay in the game, and work your way through.

Here are some activities you can do to help:

  • Learn to quiet your mind.
  • Take times during your day for sixty seconds to breathe.
  • Walk, get rid of stress and tension in your body. Make it easier to focus.
  • Listen to some music that gets you pumped up — changing your state-of-mind.
  • Listen to an uplifting Podcast.
  • Watch a video about motivation, success, self-improvement.
  • Your home’s appearance is in direct tune with your head. You have cluttered house cluttered mind clean the house! Same goes for your workspace.
  • Get to Church. Spiritual mind in tune. Life changing.

Running, sure you can choose the flight and give up. That’s a choice, not a directive.

Begin right now; do something that moves your life forward. Don’t make an excuse!

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Be Happy Where You Are

/ Robert Bruton / Leave a comment

If you’re going to be great, you must be great where you currently are! Make what you have work. When God sees you can handle any situation the flood gates will open. You can’t use doom & gloom about your current situation. Make your ongoing situation work with an eye towards a new future.

“When you rise in the morning, give thanks for the light, for your life, for your strength. Give thanks for your food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason to give thanks, the fault lies in yourself.”–Tecumseh
Let’s break this down a bit, so it makes sense if you hate your current job for example. As hard as this may be, you need to make it work. Why you do how you can expect God to bless you with more if you’re not grateful for what you have? Keep in mind you can let God know what your heart is with him and ask for a change. Pray for a new beginning but show him that you will stay in faith where you are.

I agree it is difficult. However, it makes total sense that before you can get more, you need to be okay where you are. Entrepreneurs can be handed a bag of dog poop and told that is the main ingredient for the Ice Cream they must make. Learn to make Ice Cream out of dog poop.

happy, life, love

My point is no matter what life looks like making the best of what you have. Do this and on the other side is the life you truly desire.

So, let’s assume for the sake of conversation that you detest where you are in your life. Your job stinks, you’re doing what you have to do not what you want to do. Right there with you! Apart from writing this blog post for me is a want-to-do not a have-to-do.

Here are some ideas I would like to share with you to accept where you are as temporary:

  • Make the best of each day. Don’t use negative narratives to describe where you are. You may very well think that life sucks where you are. Change that conversation to “thank you God for the new life that you are blessing me with.” Be grateful for where you are and what is coming.
  • Think about this. You have not because you ask not. Are you praying for a new life? Not, “oh please God get me out of here.” In prayer let God know as a friend your desires, then let him do his job.
  • Visualize and meditate on the life you want. See yourself in that place you desire. Do this daily. Let the Universe begin to move obstacles away and have patience and faith!
  • Keep this in mind. When doing something you may not like to do, work with jerks you don’t want to be with, stay in a relationship you have no hope of happiness. It’s all temporary. Focus on the solution NOT the problem. Learn to quiet your mind in meditation and believe with everything that is you, life can and will change!

Nothing negative we go through is a life sentence. It’s a season of life where the enemy will do everything necessary to bring you down. Change the narrative of your life. Focus on the outcome, be grateful for that outcome even if you see absolutely no way of getting there.

The life you want is on the other side of pain, frustration, hopelessness, if you stay in faith even when you see no way, I promise you will find a new season opening up for you. Never give up!

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Own that Shi*

/ Robert Bruton / Leave a comment

We know that in September, we will wander through the warm winds of summer’s wreckage. We will welcome summer’s ghost.”—Henry Rollins

One of the most relaxed moments in a Movie for me was when Harley Quin tells El Diablo after he tells his story about his powers “Own that Shit, own it!”—Harley Quin (from the movie Suicide Squad).

This article is about “Own that shit.” Whatever your life has doled out to you own it. But I received divorce papers, my car got repossessed, my boyfriend cheated on me, Own it! Don’t make the tragic mistake of pawning your life’s shit onto someone else. There is a reason this sounds harsh. Hang with me here!

prayer, hope, happiness

The absolute only person on this earth that can save you is you. Owning our shit means not being the victim. My ex-wife wanted a divorce, I never did. Until I was able to hold that shit, I was an absolute mess. When I realized over time that my destiny is in another direction from hers. If I want to understand what God truly has for me, then I need to head down a new path.

Own the fact that whatever befalls your life you inevitably must own it. The great news is you can. Learning to accept the trials of your life will open a whole new unimaginable freedom. Not a day goes by that I don’t recognize regret in my own life. We all have regrets. It’s taking ownership that indeed mistakes, defeats may come and go. Accept them and move on past summers ghost.

Everything in our life is seasonal. As we learn to own our experience good or bad, we will march through to the next adventure in our life. Not all movies have a happy ending, but, we still go see them. If you’ve never seen the movie Steel Magnolias, this movie will bring out real raw emotion. A loss that tears the very fabric of your life.

When you can turn tragedy in, own it, accept it, you can truly move on. Yes, some loss is monstrous and will require periods of mourning. However, at some point in time to begin your life anew. You simply need to own it.  Accept that life will move on without your participation. Ask yourself if your pain worth your life?

For example, if your child sees you cry, do they not come to you and say, “are you okay, please don’t cry.” Why, because they’ve heard you ask them the same question. In this scenario, you lose this child to cancer. The pain is unimaginable, to the point you truly just want to die. Ask yourself if your child was before you in this sad state, would they not want you to not cry and feel better? Loss is far-and-away the worse pain we as humans will ever experience.

At some point in time, we will have to own that pain. Accept what it is that nothing in this world will change the circumstance. We can wish it, pray for it, scream at God for it, but nothing will change. The only thing that can is me/you!

When my wife filed for divorce it for a time devastated my life. I did not want to know “nothing from nothing.” No amount of crying, yelling at God or the depression I fell in would change the outcome. I simply had to own it. Realize that for as much as I wish we could be together, that part of my life was over. The real question: just because that part of your life is over does that mean the rest of my life is over as well? Of course, it does not! A new dawn, the destiny God truly has for you is waiting, own it.

Through our pain, we learn to own our life. We learn to accept that life will throw a fastball that hits you right in the noodle and knocks you the fuck out. You can stay down, or you can Own that Shit! When you can tell the enemy let me promise you one thing when I wake up every morning the first words out of your mouth will be “Oh Shit he’s Up!” (a phrase you perhaps have read like a quote, can ring true in your life).

Coming to terms with owning our life good or bad. You will find peace, hope, faith, love, and courage. I did it and so can you, God Bless!

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