Single Mom Living My Best Life

My New Book just published today. Enjoy the Introduction, and you have a link at the bottom of the page to visit my Author Page available at Amazon.

Even Mary, the Mother of Jesus, had Mom struggles!

Mary: “Jesus, what are you doing, son?”

Jesus: “I am taking a bath like you said, mom.”

Mary: “How many times have I told you boy stop walking on that water. How are you ever going to get clean if you keep walking on that water?” “Sit down and take your bath!”

See ladies, even Jesus Mom had her parenting troubles. 

A Guide for Extraordinary Change

single mothers, mom, parenting

Introduction

‘When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me.'”—Erma Bombeck

Well, let’s start with the obvious. I’m not a single Mom, and why should you listen to this dude?

How about answering a couple of questions first?

  1. What if you could learn self-confidence enough to crush all your goals?
  2. What if you could learn to earn more money than you ever have?

No, we’re not selling pipedreams!

I felt compelled to share my life experience, knowledge of business, my Christian faith for single moms that might be struggling to make ends-meat.

What I am suggesting to you is that if you lack confidence, don’t believe you can go any further than where you are right now. You could not be more wrong.

This book will teach you confidence building through faith.  How to overcome negative mindsets. Most importantly, how to not only sell how valuable you are but potentially find a career in sales. Perhaps even further in whatever endeavor YOU choose! How about an I want a job, not a have-to-have mundane job?

Sales skills can help you advance any job. When you can ethically build value in products or services, you offer. You will begin to see your career move like the wind. I will teach you to do this in a fun and engaging way.

Throughout the book, exercises, notes, and learning will occur. Get a notebook to have ready to do some fun work.

Taking our life and turning it on its axis, shaking it up, and on the other side is your joy, peace, and smile!

Many times, over the years, I have heard Pastors say. Bring everything to the Lord. Nothing is too big or small. Joel Osteen once said if God can bring into existence the universe. Don’t you imagine he can bring into reality your dreams?

TD Jakes, who makes me laugh wonderfully. Talks about bringing wimpy prayers to God. He, too, uses the analogy God flung the universe into existence, and all you’re going to ask him for is, “Oh Lord, please, I need to pay my rent.” He, in a bold voice, says stop asking God to pay your rent but ask God for the means and way to have a mortgage.

With work and faith together in this book, we can move mountains.

Get all the stereotypical sales guy images out of your head, open your heart, and let’s learn! When I speak about sales skills if you can use your power of persuasion in the betterment of your life. Wow, watch what you can do!

Single moms of which by the way I was raised by one. Perhaps I have some insight given the struggles my mother endured.

When I was three years old, my father took me, my little sister and Mother to my maternal grandparents’ home. Dropped us off to never return. I can remember my mother from time-to-time crying uncontrollably.

Fast forward my life to times I remember how hard it was on my Mom. One morning I remember when I was seven, maybe eight years old. My mother was in the bathroom, and I heard a crash and a break in the bathroom sink.

My mother had saved her money to by some sort of face cream, something just for her. It dropped and apparently broke in the sink to the point of being ruined. I remember hearing her crying so hard, saying, “I never ask for anything why?” “I saved for months to get this, oh God.”

It was haunting to me. I knew my mother’s heart was torn for something she had struggled so hard to get.

Over the years, my mother gave up her life for my sister and me. She never really dated because my sister and I had terrible times with she would leave us. We had abandonment issues so severe that my mother simply stopped trying to have her own life.

She also worked her ass off, never in my life can I remember that my mother took a sick day from work. Two times in her life, she was hospitalized for cysts in her breasts. Doctors wanted to do a biopsy. Thank God she was always okay.

My mother made clothes, and other personal items work well beyond what they should. Just so, my sister and I could have new things. Or just food on the table.

She made sure we got to ski competitively. That I had new skis each season. Paid for ski trips to races. As a child, you don’t realize what this is assuredly costing our family.

Now that my mother is in her eighties, I can reflect on what she did for me in my life. The sacrifice (although she would never say that) she made for me. I don’t think any of us would change our life.

For me, maybe at this moment do I now realize why this book and why you.

If I could bestow any bit of wisdom upon you. My mother in her day did not have the same access to the internet, cell phones, information as you do today. Her choice was to, at any cost, make sure my sister and I were cared for. She did that with grace.

Some of you will say well, that’s what a Mother is supposed to do. That be the case, my mother passed this test with grace. Today, however, I believe if you’re a single Mom, you might have an opportunity to not only be the Mom you want to be but to be the individual you dream of being. I tell ladies you can have both!

You have before you a world in which you have choices beyond just taking care of your children. You can also have a life with not only your children but one in which you can have an experience to the point that you say to God at the end of your days. “Thanks, that was a hell of a ride!”

Limits are only set by you. There is no stone tablet, no law, nothing to prevent you from achieving all that life has to offer.

My mother was a voracious reader all her life. Now sitting here writing this. It occurs to me that maybe, therefore, I wanted to write as my career!

Since I cannot change the trajectory of my Mother loving choices. Maybe, just maybe, I can share with you enough to help shape the trajectory of your life. I can share useful information, but this is a path you must walk.

You don’t know how the course of our life and the lives around us will shape us. I believe that I understand better why I am an author today than ever before.

Click Here to Visit My Page Author Page

Tying it All Together

My latest book on Amazon. Tying it All Together

Don’t you sometimes wish that you could tie everything in your life together? Career, relationships, marriage, and parenting. That all these aspects of your life to harmoniously work. Instead, our lives get fragmented, one minute our job is on top of the world, the next we’re in divorce court. Nothing ever seems to run hitting on all eight cylinders running smoothly. The trouble is one part of our life can crater with a trickle-down in all other areas of our life.

Chapter 1

I can’t | I don’t have

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.”—Thomas A. Edison

First, we get out of our language anything to do with lack. The “I can’t” or “I don’t have” is not part of the English language of your new life.

Second, nay Sayers are just that. People who can’t do a thing themselves and naturally you can’t either if you listen to that bilge. What you’re now looking for are Mentors, people who uplift you.

Throughout history, people have done things that others said could not be done. Or invented products that folks needed. All the while, naysayers are “It can’t be done.” Horse hockey!

Limiting beliefs placed in our sub-conscious over years of saying I can’t. Also not limited to just that phrase. Years and years of self-defeating language has us convinced we cannot.

Dogpile on top of that, family, friends, managers, whomever, telling you that you don’t have what it takes, you don’t have the education, people who do that are gifted. What? You can teach yourself anything.

Okay, I give. You can’t teach yourself to be a brain surgeon. My point with this statement is I doubt you’re looking to become a brain surgeon, don’t overthink what your ability can or cannot achieve. Start, try, give it a shot, jump, swim, begin is the point!

So, in this chapter, we’re going to start replacing limiting language and thoughts. How you say, well I have an answer to that. Without this step in the process, later in the book, you will have more difficulty if you don’t make the changes now.

What do we have to change:

  1. Replace limiting thoughts with thoughts of okay how do I achieve this (the what is irrelevant at this point).
  2. Be aware of the language, the words that we use. I can’t, is NO longer a word in your mind’s dictionary. Don’t worry; I am going to share how to get rid of this stuff.
  3. Self-defeating actions. Self-sabotage, and worst of all, procrastination.

There is a lot more to the life changes than just the three I listed. You get a general idea.  As we move through chapters, we will cover a great deal more ground.

For many years we teach ourselves unknowingly that we can’t achieve certain things. Limiting beliefs are ingrained in our subconscious mind over the years. Taking the time now to change this old habit and create new ones will take work and time.

What I have found that helps me declutter my mind so that I can see myself in a better state-of-mind, meditation. Learning to meditate can get you back in touch with your inner self.

Getting rid of limiting beliefs takes retraining our mind not once to say, “I can’t do that.”
“I don’t have what it takes to achieve this.” In your meditation practice, you begin to see yourself through your mind’s eye in the place you want to be — not just a physical place, but where you see yourself emotionally.

Our brain will tell us to run from something that raises our stress level. It’s like what Marathon runners experience when they hit what is called the wall. That point late in the race where the brain is saying you can’t make another step, stop, your mind is telling you that your legs are injured. Push past this without risk of injury to your body.

Studies that prove it’s the brain talking to you, not physical injury. Pushing through this emotional wall is possible.

This bond your brain has with flight will be hard to break. Meditation is a daily practice. It’s the best way I have found to quiet my mind so I can reprogram my thoughts for growth, not defeat.

Let’s cover a few points on how easy it is to begin to meditate before you start if you have a spouse or partner have them give you a brief shoulder neck massage before beginning your practice — the tension out of your body as much as possible.

“Everything that’s created comes out of silence. Your thoughts emerge from the nothingness of silence. Your words come out of this void. Your very essence emerged from emptiness. All creativity requires some stillness.”—Wayne Dyer

Let’s begin:

  1. Pick a time when you can have thirty minutes to an hour to yourself. With no interruption. My favorite place is my bedroom. I can either sit on the floor with my back to the bed or lay down (don’t fall asleep).
  2. Music playing, outdoor sounds, ocean, rain, can be calming and help you relax. It’s best if you can use headphones. You can find lots of cool stuff on YouTube® that’s commercial-free. I find that with headphones, I can concentrate my mind more sharply.
  3. Take several deep cleansing breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth. It helps clear your body and ease tension.
  4. Then with the eye’s closed in a relaxed posture. Breathe. Follow your breathing with your mind, nice slow breaths filling your body with oxygen. It’s good to feel your belly as it moves up and down. Get a rhythm.
  5. Begin to relax your feet, move up your legs into your hips, and let your body go. Breathe and relax all the tension out of your body. Just focus for a time on relaxing your body.
  6. As you relax feel yourself floating, imagine your light enough to float on clouds.
  7. When relaxed and breathing rhythmically. Begin to focus your minds-eye towards happiness. See yourself happy. That can take any form you like. Use your imagination to see yourself happy. What is something YOU love to do? What makes you the most comfortable. It could be from childhood or adulthood: no right or wrong way, just a happy place.
  8. Placing your mind there now begins to allow that emotion to fill your body. Feel it from the balls of your feet to the crown of your head. Feel happiness; fill your body. Allow yourself to be in this bliss. Stay as-long-as you like.
  9. As you begin to come out of your meditation, slowly allow your body to unwind, let go of any thought and be in the moment. Open your eyes and smile.
  10. Begin this process tonight! What you will learn in this book is we act now, not tomorrow! Procrastination is not in our vocabulary anymore. Begin today, please, and thank you.

If you want to make it through times when you will hit the Marathon wall, and it’s like you just got hit by a Mack truck, you must train to overcome what we will have to face as you begin this process.

You will have challenges to be sure. Don’t worry; our emotional training starts here. You will find the strength. So exciting.

Years and years of Garbage is overflowing your mind. This book is a garbage truck.

The “I can’t” do this or that. Who says? 99% of the time you. How do you know if you’re not even willing to try? Saying this to yourself, I can’t is conditioned into your mind so profoundly that you believe whatever your head is telling you. Hard to imagine that we can lie to ourselves unknowingly. It’s packaged to a negative response you accept.

We’ve all heard the story of breaking the four-minute mile. Once achieved, then many athletes now can claim they can run four-minute miles.

“It always seems impossible until it’s done.”—Nelson Mandela 

Twenty years ago, if you would have asked anyone in my family, do you think Robert will write books years from now. They would have laughed until they peed their pants. Not even my friends would have believed this to be true.

Fear is also going to hold you back. We all fear failure. The difference between success and failure is people stop because they get scared. “I have a family I can’t risk failure!” Ask yourself if you have enough money to stand a year-long layoff (heaven forbid) if tomorrow your company said we’re cutting back?

We’re all a paycheck away from disaster most of our lives. So, don’t use this as an excuse.

What if I could show you a way to conquer fear enough to allow you to formulate a plan to save your life, strengthen your family, and will enable you to walk with peace-of-mind. Be great, wouldn’t it?

Okay, follow along.

Everything you’ve learned in life plays it safe; I am going to teach you how to play it smart.

Stop buying the sack of manure you sell yourself every day that you can’t. Get the I’m shy; I’m weak, I’m feeble, get that the hell out of your vocabulary.

How?

Every time you say I can’t, take a rubber band and pop the crap out of your arm.  However, take a moment to say that it was the old me, the NEW ME CAN! I can be happy; I can be in shape, I can learn more, I can have a happy marriage, I can have great kids, I can, I can, I can!

If you screw up guess what you’re not alone. Acknowledge, you had a time of weakness but your back. Guess what you can make a mistake and get right back on track. Right now, I want you to stop and run a mile as fast as you can no walking. Could you do it! Probably not is my guess. Could you if you trained for a month or so? Sure.

You’re not going to overcome this the first time. You’re not going to change without practice. Set in your phone reminders that buzz, ding, ring, whatever. Tell yourself to smile, or be strong, put an affirmation as a reminder.

Put all the good in your noodle today that you can plunge into your brain. Guess what we do this over and over. Day after day!

Shy people hello. Man are we going to need to get outside our comfort zone. Fear not time to train. How can we overcome fear?

“People who ask confidently get more than those who are hesitant and uncertain. When you’ve figured out what you want to ask for, do it with certainty, boldness, and confidence. Don’t be shy or feel intimidated by the experience. You may face some unexpected criticism but be prepared for it with confidence.”—Jack Canfield

Here are some fun ideas:

  1. Find social meetups. Places that you can go to a book club, movie review club anywhere that you must socially interact with friendly people. Nice folks won’t eat you I promise.
  2. The best way to get outside yourself is to help someone in need. It can even be an animal shelter. Put yourself in situations where you can gain strength. Social interaction helping someone is a blessing beyond words. Single parents take your kids.
  3. Go to Yoga, meditation classes; take a cooking class.

Finding ways to strengthen our life resolve is just a matter of getting off our butt and doing it. I wish I could say something or give you a pill. My friends, we must work to achieve. Good news, it’s not hard, most of these costs no money.

Through your meditation practice, when you visualize yourself, see yourself healthy, assertive, and happy. Show your subconscious what you want it will manifest for you. Take this to prayer, let God know you no longer say I can’t, or I don’t have.

God will supply abundance in all areas of your life. Keep in mind this is not about starting a business, jobs, or material things. Yes, it’s a part of if you want it to be. This book is teaching you how to have an all-encompassing life. Mind, Body, Soul.

When you find yourself in a difficult situation, go to God in prayer, let him know that you need help, what I do when times in my head get dark. I say, “God has me” over and over. Eventually, I get calm.

In times of stress, let God know you’re not losing anymore. Power your way through. Even if you see no hope at all, hold onto hope with blind faith. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Talking later in the book, we will do an entire chapter on Resources vs. Resourcefulness. When you can master how to be resourceful the I can’t, and I don’t will go straight out the window. Also, strengthen your ability to fend off fear.

Fear manifests when you don’t have a solution. Then your mind starts to say “oh boy we’re going to crash” and away your head goes, and down you go. Think about being able to on command say “I have an app for that” metaphorically speaking.

You can know in your heart that today; an answer does not exist. Give me some time to sort this out and away you go. Having that knowledge to, in a sense, trick your mind into saying “we got this” will give you the inner strength to overcome any obstacle.

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