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Anxiety & Stress Are They Stealing Your Joy

/ Robert Bruton / Leave a comment

Anxiety and stress can have debilitating results. For years I suffered through stress, work-related, home, you name it, I could find a way to stress myself out!

Over the past couple of years now, some fantastic results have passed through my life. Yes, I still stress, but boy can control it been enhanced. I will share with you my daily routine and habits that help.

prayer, faith, hope

First, let me say that if you’re struggling to get help from a licensed health care professional. What I am sharing with you is just daily habits that you can try to see if they help. By no means should you feel this is a cure-al?

Simple daily routine changes can help with stress & anxiety:

  1. Learn to quiet the mind. This is just a simple relaxation method that can help you with a clear mind. When the rhetoric in your head can slow down and quiet. Amazing results begin to appear.
  2. This can be a simple walk around your neighborhood. Or you can join a gym. Working out the tension in your body, getting stronger can help you not get so fatigued that your anxiety just increases.
  3. Take a moment often during the day to just breathe. Sixty seconds to breathe in through the nose and out through your mouth. Nice cleansing breaths.
  4. Regulate your soda, coffee, and high caffeine drinks. For most of us, we don’t need more help to get anxious.
  5. Take the time that’s just for you. Watch a sunrise by yourself. Sit by a creek. Do something that is just for you (retail therapy is a no-no. Credit card debt is a stressor). Go shoot baskets at the park, kick a ball, ride a bike.
  6. Stay connected with people that uplift you. Debbie-downer is not your friend. Choose wisely. Don’t hibernate.
  7. Set boundaries for people that bring stress into your experience. If someone can only talk about negative things. Cut them short (YES YOU CAN) politely excuse yourself from that situation “oh I totally forgot ______” hopefully that person gets a clue. You are not anyone’s sounding board for garbage.
  8. Home or office is a mess. Guess what? That is the state of your noodle. Clean up, organize, and enjoy the environment around you. People often tell me the disorganized desk in the office, “that’s just the way I am.” So, you’re a chaotic malfunctioning human, and we should all get over it? I regularly must organize myself, it’s a habit I highly recommend.
  9. Sit down and prioritize your life. I mean down to the last detail. If you tell me you’re a free spirit, you fly by the seat of your pants. Then I say super if you’re a well-adjusted, NORMAL functioning human being I will shut up. Otherwise, organize based on the importance of what you need to do every day. The reason being, if you have a real sense of accomplishment, wow, is that life-changing! Activity vs. Productivity learns the difference now!
  10. Patience and faith. If you can learn to allow life to unfold (yes you must do the work) knowing full well, you’ll be fine. Even when you can’t see a way, you believe with everything that is you, all will be well. Spiritual connectedness will indeed bring about peace in your life.
  11. Learn to be grateful right where you are. If you want more out of life, you must be thankful where you stand. If you want more from the Universe, why would that occur if you’re miserable where you are (NO, I am not suggesting you be grateful in a situation that is emotionally or physically harmful to you). However, if this is not the case and you’re simply aggravated at your lot in life. Be grateful you have a car that gets you to work, you have a job it may suck, but you have one, a roof over your head, food to eat, your health and clothes to wear.

You can find a million reasons to stay in the crap. I just gave you eleven reasons not too. What’s more, you can do each of these with just a little effort.

The real question now; “What are you prepared to do?” Until you make the decision to change your life, expect the same outcome.

No guarantee this will be easy. Nothing worth having is ever easy. I am going to let you in on a secret. For most of our lives, we’ve been taught to run away from pain. Sounds reasonable.

Ponder this:

When you first go to the gym and workout hard, what happens? Soreness from hell hits you. Can’t brush your teeth, can’t raise your arms high enough. You can quit or go back to the gym and work out a bit more until the soreness subsides.

Coaches will push you beyond your mental and physical breaking points. Why? Your head will quit far sooner than your body or mind can handle. Marathon runners are prime examples. “The wall” as marathon runners will tell you hits about the twenty-mile mark, and your brain says your body it’s time to stop. The physical pain that is causing damage to the point if you don’t stop, you could injure yourself or worse die.

Medical studies have proven this is all in your head. Runners are not hurt, injured, or dying. What is happening is our limiting beliefs take over, and it’s; fight-or-flight.

Before you give up, take one more step. If you took the step, then maybe we can go more. It’s all up to you. The ONLY PERSON ON THIS PLANET THAT CAN SAY YOU CAN OR CANNOT. IS YOU!

Don’t let anxiety and stress take your joy. If you need professional help go, get it. I am putting a resource to help you get started. This is not a paid endorsement, nor an endorsement by me. It’s just a great place to get started.

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National Institute for Mental Health

Tying it All Together, Sneak Peek

/ Robert Bruton / Leave a comment

This is a little sneak peek from the new book I am working on Tying it All Together. So many books out there that fix this or that. As part of the Life Research Project, we begin to pull all of my books into one. 

What was always lacking for me in self-improvement was solving a little piece of the puzzle when I needed a complete life change, total immersion. 

Enjoy this from a current book project Tying it All Together.

self improvement, self help, life

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.”—Thomas A. Edison

First, we get out of our language anything to do with lack. The “I can’t” or “I don’t have” is not part of the English language of your new life.

Second, nay Sayers are just that. People who can’t do a thing themselves and naturally you can’t either if you listen to that bilge. What you’re now looking for are Mentors, people who uplift you.

Throughout history, people have done things that others said could not be done. Or invented things that folks need. All the while, naysayers are “It can’t be done.” Horse hockey!

Limiting beliefs are placed in our sub-conscious over years of saying I can’t. This is also not limited to just that phrase. Years and years of self-defeating language has us convinced we cannot.

Dogpile on top of that, family, friends, managers, whomever, telling you that you don’t have what it takes, you don’t have the education, people who do that are gifted. What? You can teach yourself anything.

Okay, I give. You can’t teach yourself to be a brain surgeon. My point with this statement is I doubt you’re looking to become a brain surgeon, don’t overthink what your ability can or cannot achieve. Start, try, give it a shot, jump, swim, just begin is the point!

So, in this chapter, we’re going to start replacing limiting language and thoughts. How you say, well I have an answer for that. Without this step in the process, later in the book, you will have more difficulty if you don’t make the changes now.

What do we have to change:

  1. Replace limiting thoughts with thoughts of okay how do I achieve this (the what is irrelevant at this point).
  2. Be aware of the language, the words that we use. I can’t, is NO longer a word in your mind’s dictionary. Don’t worry; I am going to share how to get rid of this stuff.
  3. Self-defeating actions. Self-sabotage, and worst of all, procrastination.

There is a lot more to the life changes than just the three I listed. You get a general idea.  As we move through chapters, we will cover a great deal more ground.

For many years we teach ourselves unknowingly that we can’t achieve certain things. Limiting beliefs are ingrained in our subconscious mind over the years. Taking time now to change this old habit and create new ones will take work and time.

Comments or questions:

Don’t Let Anyone Steal Your Joy

/ Robert Bruton / Leave a comment

“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.”

This quote has been attributed to Sigmund Freud, William Gibson, and a host of others. I found it both straight to the point and funny. Whoever can take credit for it!

We all learn to keep certain people at arm’s length, or we allow them into our experience. Taking care to protect our emotions.

Learn to not allow toxic people to steal your joy. If needed, these folks may need to exit your life if you deal with issues concerning them. You don’t have to allow that, ever!

self help, confidence, friends

Sometimes we have to move on from relationships to make room for the new. Changing seasons in our life will bring new friends, mentors, and essential people that God sees fit to move into our life experience. Be open!

Embrace those that lift you up, challenge your status quo. Lots of people are searching for the same quality of life you are. I find great people at Church that follow a path of happiness.

meditation, yoga, peace

Find people that bring joy to your life. Don’t let anyone steal your happiness!

Questions or Comments:

Kick Horrors of Fear in the Gut, Strength, Courage is Yours NOW!

/ Robert Bruton / 1 Comment

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You can say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.”–Eleanor Roosevelt

Facing fear comes in many forms. It also is indoctrinated into our psyche over years and years. We play into it when difficulties overtake our life. When the bombardment of “I can’t” “this is too hard” become so overwhelming in our minds.

fear, happy, joy

Just as the quote states, we live through a horror.

The excellent news is the strength you need is within you. It’s not hard to tap into when you discipline yourself to overcome the challenge. Here are some daily rituals I do that help me get through:

  • Stop and just breathe. Take sixty seconds and breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth. Breathing will relieve tension in your body. This makes a measurable change in your body. 
  • Walk. Just get out and walk for a bit. Again relieving stress in your muscles will clear your mind. It’s incredible how this works. Walk up to a flight of stairs, walk down the street, just get out and walk.
  • Meditate. Learn to quiet your mind. Meditation can help you focus your mind on positive. There is a reason it’s called a meditation practice. Do this often, set designated times to practice your meditation. 
  • Grateful. Be grateful for what you have and for what is coming. Thank God for the blessing he is moving into your life. 
  • Pray. Don’t beg, pray. “Please God get me through this, please” NO! Give to God what you need, what he needs to guide you. Show him you’re grateful for it and let him do the rest. 

You can overcome adversity, fear, you name it you can overcome. It takes work, it takes some pain, it takes real desire. You can do it! I have to push every day to overcome huge fears. Someday’s the journey seems too much. That’s the time take one more step, do one more thing forward. This makes all the difference.

Questions, comments:

Backstory Don’t Judge Someone

/ Robert Bruton / Leave a comment

We’re all guilty of judging people. If someone has sentenced you unjustly, this can be very difficult to live with. Of course, if someone judges that’s indeed on them. This article will speak to standing in judgment of someone in our life.

Being judgmental is wrong in so many ways. It’s hurtful, and more than any other reason chances are you don’t have a clue what someone’s backstory is that causes them to be a certain way. self help, judgmental, sad

Everyone has a backstory that if it was known to others, they might look at a situation with empathy instead of standing in judgment. More times than not if you knew what was going on with a person you would feel pretty crappy for your thoughts. Jesus said it best “if you are without sin cast the first stone.” None of us are in any position to judge.

I have a friend who on the surface comes off a little distant, sometimes even disconnected when you interact with him. People around us sometimes say he is weird. What people don’t know about his backstory is two years ago he lost a daughter to suicide. Now I’m no psychiatrist, but I believe if I were a survivor of that tragedy, I might be off my game as well. This is not the common knowledge to folks who stand in judgment.

This begs the question with that knowledge would you be judgmental or empathetic? We all know plenty of stories like this. So who are any of us to stand in judgment of another? Before you say something about someone make sure you have all your facts. Moreover, if you can’t say something sweet don’t say anything at all! How many times did your Mom say that?

Remember words have the power to heal or the power to cut. Choose your words wisely. Before you stand in judgment of anyone, could you pass the judgment test? Get judgment out of your head. We all have a backstory!