personal

Embracing Systems Over Goals: A Sustainable Approach to Life

/ Robert Bruton / Leave a comment

When it comes to personal and professional growth, we often find ourselves chasing specific goals—whether shedding a few pounds, boosting our bank balance, climbing the corporate ladder, or mastering a new skill. But have you ever stopped to consider if this approach is truly sustainable? What if we shifted our focus to creating systems that support our overall well-being and success instead of fixating on these specific goals? This shift in perspective could lead to a more balanced, fulfilling, and sustainable approach to life.


The Limitations of Goal-Setting
Goals are, by nature, finite and outcome-oriented. They often focus on a specific endpoint without considering the journey’s long-term implications. When we set goals, we tend to fixate on the result rather than the process. This mindset can lead to several problems:

  1. Short-term thinking: Goals often prioritize immediate gratification over long-term sustainability. For example, crash diets may help you lose weight quickly, but they rarely lead to lasting health improvements.
  2. Neglecting the process: By focusing on the endpoint, we may overlook the importance of our steps to get there. This can lead to cutting corners, sacrificing quality, or engaging in unsustainable practices.
  3. Emotional rollercoaster: When we tie our self-worth and happiness to achieving specific goals, we set ourselves up for an emotional rollercoaster. Falling short of a goal can lead to feelings of failure and disappointment, while achieving a goal may provide only fleeting satisfaction. However, with systems, the pressure to achieve specific outcomes is alleviated, leading to a more relaxed and less anxious approach to personal and professional growth.
  4. Lack of adaptability: Goals are static and inflexible. When circumstances change, or unexpected challenges arise, our goals may become irrelevant or unattainable, leaving us feeling stuck or discouraged.

The Power of Systems
In contrast to goals, systems are process-oriented and designed for long-term sustainability. A system is a set of habits, routines, and practices that support your overall well-being and growth. By focusing on systems, you prioritize the journey over the destination and create a foundation for lasting change. Here’s why systems are more effective than goals:

  1. Sustainable progress: Systems are designed to be maintained over time. They promote consistent, incremental improvement rather than short-term bursts of effort, leading to more sustainable results and reducing the risk of burnout.
  2. Adaptability: Systems are flexible and can be adjusted as circumstances change. When faced with unexpected challenges or opportunities, you can modify your system to accommodate new realities without abandoning your overall direction.
  3. Process-oriented: By focusing on the process rather than the outcome, systems encourage you to find joy and fulfillment in the journey. This mindset promotes a more balanced and satisfying approach to life.
  4. Holistic well-being: Systems can be designed to support various aspects of your life, including physical health, mental well-being, relationships, and personal growth. By creating interconnected systems, you cultivate a more holistic and harmonious lifestyle.

Designing Your Life Systems
To create systems that sustain your life in every way, consider the following areas:

  1. Health and Fitness
    Instead of setting a goal to lose a specific weight, create a system that promotes healthy habits. This may include:
  • Preparing nutritious meals in advance
  • Scheduling regular exercise sessions
  • Prioritizing sleep and stress management
  • Surrounding yourself with supportive, health-conscious individuals
  1. Financial Well-Being
    Develop a system that encourages financial stability and growth rather than setting a goal to save a certain amount of money. This may involve:
  • Automating savings and investments
  • Creating and following a budget
  • Continuously educating yourself about personal finance
  • Cultivating a mindset of abundance and gratitude
  1. Career and Professional Development
    Instead of focusing on a specific job title or salary, build a system that supports your ongoing growth and success. This may include:
  • Regularly updating your skills and knowledge
  • Networking and building relationships within your industry
  • Seeking out mentorship and feedback
  • Cultivating a growth mindset and embracing challenges
  1. Personal Growth and Relationships
    Create a system that nurtures your personal development and relationships rather than setting goals related to specific milestones or achievements. This may involve:
  • Prioritizing self-reflection and self-care
  • Investing time and energy into meaningful relationships
  • Pursuing hobbies and interests that bring you joy and fulfillment
  • Practicing gratitude and kindness in your daily interactions

Implementing and Refining Your Systems
Creating sustainable life systems is an ongoing process that requires patience, self-awareness, and a willingness to adapt. As you implement your systems, keep the following tips in mind:

  1. Start small: Focus on one or two critical areas of your life and gradually expand your systems. This approach prevents you from being overwhelmed and allows you to build momentum.
  2. Be consistent: The power of systems lies in their consistency. Commit to your practices and routines, even when motivation wanes, or circumstances become challenging.
  3. Regularly review and adjust: Periodically assess the effectiveness of your systems and make adjustments as needed. Be open to feedback and willing to experiment with new approaches.
  4. Celebrate the process: Rather than fixating on specific milestones or achievements, find joy and satisfaction in the daily practice of your systems. Recognize and celebrate the small victories along the way.

In a world that often glorifies goal-setting and instant gratification, embracing systems over goals may feel counterintuitive. However, shifting your focus to creating sustainable practices and routines lays the foundation for a more balanced, fulfilling, and successful life. Systems allow you to prioritize long-term well-being over short-term gains, cultivate adaptability in the face of change, and find joy in the journey. You create a sustainable life in every way by designing and implementing systems that support your health, financial stability, professional growth, and personal development. Remember, the key to lasting change is not pursuing specific endpoints but consistently practicing habits and routines that align with your values and aspirations. Embrace the power of systems, and watch as your life transforms from the inside out.

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Discovering Your Passion: The Joy of Pursuing Hobbies for Personal Fulfillment

/ Robert Bruton / Leave a comment

In our fast-paced world, it’s easy to get caught up in the relentless pursuit of success, often at the expense of our happiness and well-being. We prioritize our careers, families, and social obligations, leaving little time for ourselves and the things that truly bring us joy. However, it is crucial to recognize the importance of carving out space for activities that nourish our souls and ignite our passions. Whether it’s playing the guitar, creating pottery, or immersing ourselves in art, finding a hobby that resonates with us can be a transformative experience that enriches our lives in countless ways.

learn to play the guitar
Guitar

One of the most significant benefits of pursuing a hobby is the journey of personal growth and accomplishment it offers. When we invest time and effort into learning a new skill or improving an existing one, we challenge ourselves and broaden our horizons—mastering a craft, whether playing an instrument, shaping clay, or expressing ourselves through art, demands patience, perseverance, and a willingness to step outside our comfort zones. We develop a deeper sense of self-confidence and pride in our abilities as we progress and improve.

Consider the guitar, for instance. Learning to play this versatile instrument opens up a world of self-expression and creativity. From the moment we first strum a few chords, we embark on a journey of discovery and growth. With regular practice, our fingers become more agile, our rhythm more precise, and our understanding of music more profound. We learn to infuse our emotions into the strings, creating melodies that resonate with our hearts and souls. The sense of accomplishment that accompanies mastering a challenging piece or composing our songs is unmatched, and it fuels our desire to keep learning and improving.

Similarly, the tactile nature of pottery can be incredibly soothing and grounding. There is something profoundly satisfying about taking a lump of clay and transforming it into a beautiful, functional object. The process of wedging the clay, centering it on the wheel, and shaping it with our hands is a meditative experience that allows us to disconnect from the stresses of daily life and focus solely on the present moment. As we become more skilled at our craft, we can experiment with different techniques, glazes, and forms, pushing the boundaries of our creativity and discovering new avenues for self-expression.

Art is another powerful medium for personal growth and fulfillment in its many forms. Whether painting, drawing, sculpting, or exploring mixed media, the creative process allows us to tap into our innermost thoughts and emotions, bringing them to life on canvas or paper. Art provides a safe space to confront our fears, explore our dreams, and process our experiences in a deeply personal and cathartic way. As we develop our skills and find our artistic voice, we better understand ourselves and the world around us.

One of the most rewarding aspects of pursuing hobbies for personal fulfillment is that there are no expectations or pressures to perform for others. Unlike our professional lives, where we often need to meet deadlines, impress our colleagues, or achieve specific goals, our hobbies are a refuge from the outside world’s demands. We can explore our interests at our own pace without fearing judgment or criticism. This freedom allows us to fully immerse ourselves in the activity, savoring the joy and contentment of doing something purely for ourselves.

Moreover, engaging in hobbies can profoundly impact our overall well-being. When we make time for activities that bring us joy and fulfillment, we experience excellent balance and happiness. Hobbies provide a much-needed break from work and family life stresses, allowing us to recharge our batteries and approach our responsibilities with renewed energy and enthusiasm. They also offer opportunities for social connection and community building as we meet others who share our passions and interests.

In addition to the personal benefits, pursuing hobbies can also positively impact our professional lives. The skills we develop through hobbies, such as creativity, problem-solving, and perseverance, are highly transferable to the workplace. When we engage in activities that challenge and push us to grow, we become more adaptable, resilient, and confident in our abilities. These qualities can translate into improved performance at work and better relationships with colleagues and clients.

Furthermore, hobbies can inspire and motivate us, fueling our passion and drive in other areas. When we experience the joy and fulfillment of pursuing our interests, we are more likely to approach our work and relationships positively and enthusiastically. We become more creative in problem-solving, more empathetic in our interactions with others, and more resilient in facing challenges and setbacks.

Of course, finding the right hobby can be a process of trial and error. What brings joy and fulfillment to one person may not resonate with another. It’s essential to approach the search for a hobby with an open mind and a willingness to experiment. We may need to try several activities before finding one that truly speaks to us. But the journey of self-discovery is part of the reward as we learn more about ourselves and what makes us happy.

Once we find a hobby that fills our soul, we must prioritize it. This may require adjusting our schedules and routines, but the benefits are worth the effort. By carving out dedicated time for our hobbies, we tell ourselves and others that our happiness and well-being matter. We create space for joy, creativity, and personal growth and become more well-rounded and fulfilled individuals.

In conclusion, finding a hobby that fills our soul is a deeply personal and rewarding experience. Whether playing the guitar, creating pottery, or exploring the world of art, pursuing activities that bring us joy and fulfillment is essential for our happiness and well-being. By challenging ourselves, expressing our creativity, and savoring the process of personal growth, we enrich our lives in countless ways. So, let us embrace the search for our passions and make time for the things that truly matter to us. Doing so nourishes our souls and inspires others to do the same, creating a ripple effect of happiness and fulfillment that extends far beyond ourselves.

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Patience

/ Robert Bruton / Leave a comment

One of the hardest traits in my life to learn, from my New Book: Mastering Life God’s Way:

Patience!

“I believe that a trusting attitude and a patient attitude go hand in hand. You see, when you let go and learn to trust God, it releases joy in your life. And when you trust God, you’re able to be more patient. Patience is not just about waiting for something… it’s about how you wait, or your attitude while waiting.”—Joyce Meyer

Without which, you will stifle growth by imposing your own will that goes against what your destiny shall become.

Keep in mind that life, you must allow destiny to adjust itself, change trajectory, for your destiny to unfold. Changing your life means a whole new direction, so you must allow God to move things around to fulfill your destiny.

Let’s say you want a fantastic job that is currently filled by an amazing person. Someone that has left a real mark in this life. Someone, that if you knew them personally would be a friend! Let’s say this person is going to retire in six months. God’s plan is for you to fall right into this job that currently you are totally unaware of. Without patience, you may give up just a few yards from the finish line. Don’t be that person!

Prayer, self improvement, life

Nothing worth having happens overnight. Shortcuts get rich quick; you have to work seven days a week; it is all garbage. Beautiful flowers don’t bloom overnight. The sun does not rise all at once. Everything in our lives happens in the time our destiny is supposed to unfold before our eyes. Any faster, and you lose the real blessing.

God’s will, not our will. Let that naturally happen, and wow! When you impose your own will, we tend to want everything right now. Do this, and you will receive, tension, stress, overwhelmed mind, and misery. Then you’ll quit, instead of receiving the beautiful blessings headed your way.

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Choice, Decide Already!

/ Robert Bruton / Leave a comment

Choice

If I asked you to make a choice right now to be happy, but you’re suffering through a terrible divorce. Could you be satisfied just by making that choice? The short answer is yes! Before you hit the refund, button hears me out.

What stops you from choosing to be happy in a moment is you. I should say years of conditioning yourself that you can’t just simply change. Why can’t you? Should be the real question.

Let’s take our divorce scenario to a little higher level. If divorce is imminent even though you don’t want a divorce.

Two options:

Option A:

  • Stay bitter, sad, emotionally done, not having any thought as to a new future.

Option B:

  • “Choose” to be happy. Yes, the person whom your life revolved around is gone. The Universe, in its infinite wisdom, is taking you down a new path. Presuppose for a moment that this new life if given a chance, has more love, joy, happiness, and fulfillment than you ever thought possible.

If you choose to be happy, “Option B” certainly has more promise. The simple act of choosing one from another is incredibly powerful.

Over a year ago someone that I am proud to call a friend explained away my own pain from divorce like this: “If you could have your wife back today and go right back to the way things were, OR, you could have the relationship you never thought possible. Which would you choose?”

That’s when I knew that I had to make a choice for myself. If something in your life is meant to be, then it shall.

The real rub is that for years-and-years, we conditioned our minds towards limiting beliefs. We end up saying:

  • If I just change, she will come back.
  • If I learn to keep my mouth shut.
  • If I lose twenty pounds.

The problem is NOT you, it’s the paradigm that is so entrenched in your head you can’t shake it off. Using the divorce analogy just scrapes the surface of this problem. This book is not a “how to get over divorce” book. NO, far from it.

How to change limiting beliefs, the unknowing lies we tell ourselves every day. What our journey well reveals to us, we can make a choice and move on, NOW!

Prayer, self improvement, society

Choice do you really want me to pick?

Yes, friends easier said than done. However, very doable. With some guided practice, you can learn to decide, stick with it, no regrets, and blaze a trail for others to follow. Pardon the cliché!

How do you we make these changes you ask? Training our minds to a new healthy reality. Who says you can’t do something; you need only look in the mirror? That’s who!

Part 1:

How many years have you heard phrases like?

  • You/I don’t have that kind of luck.
  • No education, you can’t do that.
  • You’re too fat.
  • You’re too skinny.
  • You’re not part of that social group.
  • Oh, honey, why don’t you lower your sights to something more realistic.

From as many years ago as you’re able to remember we’ve all heard the limiting phrases getting stuffed into our mind.

What is being communicated to you is, “If I can’t do you surely cannot.” By well-meaning parents, family, friends, and other well-wishers. So, if these lovely people are telling me this, it must be true. NO, not only NO; HELL NO!

The only person on this planet that knows whether YOU can do anything is YOU! It does not matter what your Mom, Dad, Grandmother, Friend, Boss, has to say about what you can do. The ONLY person that knows is your period!

People close to you will naturally want you to play it safe. None of us want to see a friend hurt. Who the heck says you must hurt? I’m not shouting at the top of my lungs “oh God, don’t write the first Novel you failed English literature.”

Again, I go back to the systematic brainwashing society shoves down our brain. How many folks have completed Marathons in wheelchairs or with lost limbs? Hundreds if not thousands. Why Choice! The choice NOT to allow something horrific to bring them down.

Mediocrity is a disease of the mind. It’s a cure; “Choice!”

Part 2:

How to break free, so Choice comes at will.

  1. Meditation / Prayer: see yourself through this practice as free of limitation. That my life, my choice to see it through as a vessel of the Universe. Not some, “I don’t have this or that mentality.”
  2. Put the affirmation “Choice” Refrigerator, bathroom mirror, reminders on your phone daily.
  3. Learn to believe in yourself. Take the training wheels off your life. When you feel you can’t do something learn to ask yourself; who said! With enough training and knowledge, you can bloody well do anything you want!
  4. Practice, Practice, Practice! Do not give up or in at the first sign of difficulty. This is something you must want as much as air. We’ve all heard the businessman who asked a guru “how do I become successful,” the Guru replied, “meet me at the beach at 6:00 AM and don’t be late.” The next morning the businessman is on time, and the Guru takes him out into the water up to there chest. The Guru grabs the man and holds his head down in the water until the man was in great distress. Lifting the man out of the water, the businessman screams, “Why did you do that?” The Guru calmly replies, “When you want success as-bad-as, you wanted to breathe, then you will find success!”
  5. Gain knowledge. The reason people quit is insufficient knowledge. If people aren’t saying to you, “Wow, I have no idea you could do that.” If the wow factor is not WOW, then gain more knowledge. Become a voracious reader.

Nothing on God’s good earth prevents you from achieving anything. If you set your mind to something, trust that God will give you the knowledge, and move the Universe into alignment for you. Believe that as much as you want to breathe (like our Guru analogy).

All it takes is a choice. Your choice to stay status quo or your choice to live a life most would only dream about.

“Infuse your life with action. Don’t wait for it to happen. Make it happen. Make your own future. Make your own hope. Make your own love. And whatever your beliefs, honor your creator, not by passively waiting for grace to come down from upon high, but by doing what you can to make grace happen… yourself, right now, right down here on Earth.”–Bradley Whitford

Questions or Comments:

 

 

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Keep Moving your Life Even when it seems You Cannot

/ Robert Bruton / Leave a comment

“I hated every minute of training, but I said, ‘Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.”–Muhammad Ali

 

self help, God, Prayer

Fight Through Even When you think you Cannot.

 

 

Many days are like training. I hate every minute, but I keep pushing through. Following God on my mind, but not really feeling him present. Life can kick you in the gut, we can choose to fall apart or just keep moving.

Keeping moving somedays takes every ounce of my strength. As I am sure to not be the only person on this earth that struggles through. Let us say that most of us are kindred souls when it comes to living life.

Do not stall when life just seems like “really” can’t catch a damn break! Scream if you have to but say “I am NOT LOSING this time.” Fight, fight, and fight through, you can do it. I do it most days you can too.

help, hope, happy

Tell the enemy NOT today asshole, you don’t get the satisfaction of bringing me down. Do this even if you don’t see hope. Fly on blind faith but fly. The reason that I am writing this article is today I am operating on blind faith. Many things have fallen apart, but I know that it’s a temporary problem.

The problem is I don’t believe that statement this moment, but what the hell else can I do but to keep moving forward. I can stop saying F’it. What would that do but make things worse!

So if I can do this, so shall you! We all get hit with life that hurts. Instead of giving up work through it even when your mind and body are fighting you.

God bless!

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