One of the hardest traits in my life to learn, from my New Book: Mastering Life God’s Way:
“I believe that a trusting attitude and a patient attitude go hand in hand. You see, when you let go and learn to trust God, it releases joy in your life. And when you trust God, you’re able to be more patient. Patience is not just about waiting for something… it’s about how you wait, or your attitude while waiting.”—Joyce Meyer
Without which, you will stifle growth by imposing your own will that goes against what your destiny shall become.
Keep in mind that life, you must allow destiny to adjust itself, change trajectory, for your destiny to unfold. Changing your life means a whole new direction, so you must allow God to move things around to fulfill your destiny.
Let’s say you want a fantastic job that is currently filled by an amazing person. Someone that has left a real mark in this life. Someone, that if you knew them personally would be a friend! Let’s say this person is going to retire in six months. God’s plan is for you to fall right into this job that currently you are totally unaware of. Without patience, you may give up just a few yards from the finish line. Don’t be that person!
Nothing worth having happens overnight. Shortcuts get rich quick; you have to work seven days a week; it is all garbage. Beautiful flowers don’t bloom overnight. The sun does not rise all at once. Everything in our lives happens in the time our destiny is supposed to unfold before our eyes. Any faster, and you lose the real blessing.
God’s will, not our will. Let that naturally happen, and wow! When you impose your own will, we tend to want everything right now. Do this, and you will receive, tension, stress, overwhelmed mind, and misery. Then you’ll quit, instead of receiving the beautiful blessings headed your way.
If I asked you to make a choice right now to be happy, but you’re suffering through a terrible divorce. Could you be satisfied just by making that choice? The short answer is yes! Before you hit the refund, button hears me out.
What stops you from choosing to be happy in a moment is you. I should say years of conditioning yourself that you can’t just simply change. Why can’t you? Should be the real question.
Let’s take our divorce scenario to a little higher level. If divorce is imminent even though you don’t want a divorce.
Stay bitter, sad, emotionally done, not having any thought as to a new future.
“Choose” to be happy. Yes, the person whom your life revolved around is gone. The Universe, in its infinite wisdom, is taking you down a new path. Presuppose for a moment that this new life if given a chance, has more love, joy, happiness, and fulfillment than you ever thought possible.
If you choose to be happy, “Option B” certainly has more promise. The simple act of choosing one from another is incredibly powerful.
Over a year ago someone that I am proud to call a friend explained away my own pain from divorce like this: “If you could have your wife back today and go right back to the way things were, OR, you could have the relationship you never thought possible. Which would you choose?”
That’s when I knew that I had to make a choice for myself. If something in your life is meant to be, then it shall.
The real rub is that for years-and-years, we conditioned our minds towards limiting beliefs. We end up saying:
If I just change, she will come back.
If I learn to keep my mouth shut.
If I lose twenty pounds.
The problem is NOT you, it’s the paradigm that is so entrenched in your head you can’t shake it off. Using the divorce analogy just scrapes the surface of this problem. This book is not a “how to get over divorce” book. NO, far from it.
How to change limiting beliefs, the unknowing lies we tell ourselves every day. What our journey well reveals to us, we can make a choice and move on, NOW!
Choice do you really want me to pick?
Yes, friends easier said than done. However, very doable. With some guided practice, you can learn to decide, stick with it, no regrets, and blaze a trail for others to follow. Pardon the cliché!
How do you we make these changes you ask? Training our minds to a new healthy reality. Who says you can’t do something; you need only look in the mirror? That’s who!
How many years have you heard phrases like?
You/I don’t have that kind of luck.
No education, you can’t do that.
You’re too fat.
You’re too skinny.
You’re not part of that social group.
Oh, honey, why don’t you lower your sights to something more realistic.
From as many years ago as you’re able to remember we’ve all heard the limiting phrases getting stuffed into our mind.
What is being communicated to you is, “If I can’t do you surely cannot.” By well-meaning parents, family, friends, and other well-wishers. So, if these lovely people are telling me this, it must be true. NO, not only NO; HELL NO!
The only person on this planet that knows whether YOU can do anything is YOU! It does not matter what your Mom, Dad, Grandmother, Friend, Boss, has to say about what you can do. The ONLY person that knows is your period!
People close to you will naturally want you to play it safe. None of us want to see a friend hurt. Who the heck says you must hurt? I’m not shouting at the top of my lungs “oh God, don’t write the first Novel you failed English literature.”
Again, I go back to the systematic brainwashing society shoves down our brain. How many folks have completed Marathons in wheelchairs or with lost limbs? Hundreds if not thousands. Why Choice! The choice NOT to allow something horrific to bring them down.
Mediocrity is a disease of the mind. It’s a cure; “Choice!”
How to break free, so Choice comes at will.
Meditation / Prayer: see yourself through this practice as free of limitation. That my life, my choice to see it through as a vessel of the Universe. Not some, “I don’t have this or that mentality.”
Put the affirmation “Choice” Refrigerator, bathroom mirror, reminders on your phone daily.
Learn to believe in yourself. Take the training wheels off your life. When you feel you can’t do something learn to ask yourself; who said! With enough training and knowledge, you can bloody well do anything you want!
Practice, Practice, Practice! Do not give up or in at the first sign of difficulty. This is something you must want as much as air. We’ve all heard the businessman who asked a guru “how do I become successful,” the Guru replied, “meet me at the beach at 6:00 AM and don’t be late.” The next morning the businessman is on time, and the Guru takes him out into the water up to there chest. The Guru grabs the man and holds his head down in the water until the man was in great distress. Lifting the man out of the water, the businessman screams, “Why did you do that?” The Guru calmly replies, “When you want success as-bad-as, you wanted to breathe, then you will find success!”
Gain knowledge. The reason people quit is insufficient knowledge. If people aren’t saying to you, “Wow, I have no idea you could do that.” If the wow factor is not WOW, then gain more knowledge. Become a voracious reader.
Nothing on God’s good earth prevents you from achieving anything. If you set your mind to something, trust that God will give you the knowledge, and move the Universe into alignment for you. Believe that as much as you want to breathe (like our Guru analogy).
All it takes is a choice. Your choice to stay status quo or your choice to live a life most would only dream about.
“Infuse your life with action. Don’t wait for it to happen. Make it happen. Make your own future. Make your own hope. Make your own love. And whatever your beliefs, honor your creator, not by passively waiting for grace to come down from upon high, but by doing what you can to make grace happen… yourself, right now, right down here on Earth.”–Bradley Whitford
“I hated every minute of training, but I said, ‘Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.”–Muhammad Ali
Fight Through Even When you think you Cannot.
Many days are like training. I hate every minute, but I keep pushing through. Following God on my mind, but not really feeling him present. Life can kick you in the gut, we can choose to fall apart or just keep moving.
Keeping moving somedays takes every ounce of my strength. As I am sure to not be the only person on this earth that struggles through. Let us say that most of us are kindred souls when it comes to living life.
Do not stall when life just seems like “really” can’t catch a damn break! Scream if you have to but say “I am NOT LOSING this time.” Fight, fight, and fight through, you can do it. I do it most days you can too.
Tell the enemy NOT today asshole, you don’t get the satisfaction of bringing me down. Do this even if you don’t see hope. Fly on blind faith but fly. The reason that I am writing this article is today I am operating on blind faith. Many things have fallen apart, but I know that it’s a temporary problem.
The problem is I don’t believe that statement this moment, but what the hell else can I do but to keep moving forward. I can stop saying F’it. What would that do but make things worse!
So if I can do this, so shall you! We all get hit with life that hurts. Instead of giving up work through it even when your mind and body are fighting you.
In relationships, we will have conflict. Arguments will happen in the very best of situations. It’s just part of life’s landscape. The question is how do you handle conflict?
Arguments can escalate very quickly. Words come blurting out of mouths destine for ears of someone we love. Hateful words in the heat of the moment can cause irreparable harm to a relationship. Our words can cut deep or heal. Choose wisely your words; a more accurate statement could not be told. Before you utter a peep out of your mouth, stop and think.
In the heat of the moment trying to stop and think is a challenge. Don’t get baited into a fight or the both of you could be very sorry. What we all forget in a debate is how much we love the person we’re arguing with. In the height of the conflict, all that tends to go out the window. Just as the enemy guides your mouth to a razor’s edge. Don’t fall into a trap.
Most important of all. DO NOT FIGHT TO WIN! If you do, you will ultimately pay the price for that.
Before a situation escalates into a battle. Try and stop everything. For example, agree to take a walk separately to cool off. Think about what the conflict is and weigh out it’s worth. So many times an argument can heat up to the point both parties forgot what they were arguing about. Hateful words overtook the issue. Sometimes, sorry is not enough when words come into play.
Taking a walk allows both parties to calm down. Think, honestly think about what the conflict is and weigh its significance against your bliss. When you both get back from taking a walk apart, take a short walk together and talk about anything but what you’re fussing over.
Doing this exercise will allow for some time to pass, then the chances are excellent that at this point you can find compromise and move on. Remember, that you care about and love each other. Arguments, more often than not are not about the other person but conflict within ourselves. Learn to discern the two.
My challenge to you right now. Go to someone you love right now, give a hug for no reason. Express, your love for someone special, strengthen your resolve to be happy. God bless!
Right now, I am going through a situation where trusting whether or not I’m making the right decision is incredibly hard. Throwing it to God is of course what I’m doing. Like everyone, I try to help God.
When you help God, no matter how well-intentioned you are, that is not trusting. For me, this is a huge learning curve. My entire life has been about worry, controlling, and stress. When I can leave it to God to show me the way. He is not really talking to me too much about this issue right now. Could be I have my hand too far in it.
The sad part about this issue is the difficulty it brings to my entire family. It’s a feud that may never be resolved. It’s embedded deep in everyone’s heart and sadly not in the right way. So my balancing act tries to continue. When I need to let go and let God guide this for everyone.
So if you’re going through incredible hardship, personal, family or work. If the answer is not coming. Check yourself to make sure you have entirely surrendered the issue to God. When you do that the answers will come! Keep faith!!!