Choice, Decide Already!

Choice

If I asked you to make a choice right now to be happy, but you’re suffering through a terrible divorce. Could you be satisfied just by making that choice? The short answer is yes! Before you hit the refund, button hears me out.

What stops you from choosing to be happy in a moment is you. I should say years of conditioning yourself that you can’t just simply change. Why can’t you? Should be the real question.

Let’s take our divorce scenario to a little higher level. If divorce is imminent even though you don’t want a divorce.

Two options:

Option A:

  • Stay bitter, sad, emotionally done, not having any thought as to a new future.

Option B:

  • “Choose” to be happy. Yes, the person whom your life revolved around is gone. The Universe, in its infinite wisdom, is taking you down a new path. Presuppose for a moment that this new life if given a chance, has more love, joy, happiness, and fulfillment than you ever thought possible.

If you choose to be happy, “Option B” certainly has more promise. The simple act of choosing one from another is incredibly powerful.

Over a year ago someone that I am proud to call a friend explained away my own pain from divorce like this: “If you could have your wife back today and go right back to the way things were, OR, you could have the relationship you never thought possible. Which would you choose?”

That’s when I knew that I had to make a choice for myself. If something in your life is meant to be, then it shall.

The real rub is that for years-and-years, we conditioned our minds towards limiting beliefs. We end up saying:

  • If I just change, she will come back.
  • If I learn to keep my mouth shut.
  • If I lose twenty pounds.

The problem is NOT you, it’s the paradigm that is so entrenched in your head you can’t shake it off. Using the divorce analogy just scrapes the surface of this problem. This book is not a “how to get over divorce” book. NO, far from it.

How to change limiting beliefs, the unknowing lies we tell ourselves every day. What our journey well reveals to us, we can make a choice and move on, NOW!

Prayer, self improvement, society
Choice do you really want me to pick?

Yes, friends easier said than done. However, very doable. With some guided practice, you can learn to decide, stick with it, no regrets, and blaze a trail for others to follow. Pardon the cliché!

How do you we make these changes you ask? Training our minds to a new healthy reality. Who says you can’t do something; you need only look in the mirror? That’s who!

Part 1:

How many years have you heard phrases like?

  • You/I don’t have that kind of luck.
  • No education, you can’t do that.
  • You’re too fat.
  • You’re too skinny.
  • You’re not part of that social group.
  • Oh, honey, why don’t you lower your sights to something more realistic.

From as many years ago as you’re able to remember we’ve all heard the limiting phrases getting stuffed into our mind.

What is being communicated to you is, “If I can’t do you surely cannot.” By well-meaning parents, family, friends, and other well-wishers. So, if these lovely people are telling me this, it must be true. NO, not only NO; HELL NO!

The only person on this planet that knows whether YOU can do anything is YOU! It does not matter what your Mom, Dad, Grandmother, Friend, Boss, has to say about what you can do. The ONLY person that knows is your period!

People close to you will naturally want you to play it safe. None of us want to see a friend hurt. Who the heck says you must hurt? I’m not shouting at the top of my lungs “oh God, don’t write the first Novel you failed English literature.”

Again, I go back to the systematic brainwashing society shoves down our brain. How many folks have completed Marathons in wheelchairs or with lost limbs? Hundreds if not thousands. Why Choice! The choice NOT to allow something horrific to bring them down.

Mediocrity is a disease of the mind. It’s a cure; “Choice!”

Part 2:

How to break free, so Choice comes at will.

  1. Meditation / Prayer: see yourself through this practice as free of limitation. That my life, my choice to see it through as a vessel of the Universe. Not some, “I don’t have this or that mentality.”
  2. Put the affirmation “Choice” Refrigerator, bathroom mirror, reminders on your phone daily.
  3. Learn to believe in yourself. Take the training wheels off your life. When you feel you can’t do something learn to ask yourself; who said! With enough training and knowledge, you can bloody well do anything you want!
  4. Practice, Practice, Practice! Do not give up or in at the first sign of difficulty. This is something you must want as much as air. We’ve all heard the businessman who asked a guru “how do I become successful,” the Guru replied, “meet me at the beach at 6:00 AM and don’t be late.” The next morning the businessman is on time, and the Guru takes him out into the water up to there chest. The Guru grabs the man and holds his head down in the water until the man was in great distress. Lifting the man out of the water, the businessman screams, “Why did you do that?” The Guru calmly replies, “When you want success as-bad-as, you wanted to breathe, then you will find success!”
  5. Gain knowledge. The reason people quit is insufficient knowledge. If people aren’t saying to you, “Wow, I have no idea you could do that.” If the wow factor is not WOW, then gain more knowledge. Become a voracious reader.

Nothing on God’s good earth prevents you from achieving anything. If you set your mind to something, trust that God will give you the knowledge, and move the Universe into alignment for you. Believe that as much as you want to breathe (like our Guru analogy).

All it takes is a choice. Your choice to stay status quo or your choice to live a life most would only dream about.

“Infuse your life with action. Don’t wait for it to happen. Make it happen. Make your own future. Make your own hope. Make your own love. And whatever your beliefs, honor your creator, not by passively waiting for grace to come down from upon high, but by doing what you can to make grace happen… yourself, right now, right down here on Earth.”–Bradley Whitford

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When Silence Screams

“We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature – trees, flowers, grass- grows in silence; see the stars, the moon, and the sun, how they move in silence… We need silence to be able to touch souls.”–Mother Teresa
For anyone in turmoil, silence can be defining. The clutter in our minds can be more defining than someone actually screaming in our face. When we’re in secrecy, this seems to be genuinely augmented.

prayer, self improvement, God

The blessing we seek is to be able to enjoy the silence. No noise, just utter silence. Just as Mother Teresa says in this quote, God is a friend of silence. Being ready to embrace the silence and not be deaf from the noise in our head, here we can find true peace.

Meditation can help you find the silence so your mind can be at peace. Beginning a daily routine of meditation will accelerate your ability to love the quiet. Most of us need some sort of ambient noise to not drive ourselves nuts.

Your meditation practice may need to begin with ambient noise, music, nature sounds, or the like. As you progress in your training, you can start to wean yourself off the noise and learn to embrace the silence. Here is where you can indeed be one with the Universe.

If you want to energize your life, meditate! Learn to embrace the silence.

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Secrets About Love the Government Is Hiding

“I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars.”–Og Mandino
This quote brings perspective to life, it’s all how you look at life, love, and happiness.

Have you failed in love, lost a relationship maybe even several. Has love eluded you as though it were some ultra-secret Government project? Romantic love, self-love, love of life, love, love, love!!!

passion, love, romance

Love sets our world on its axis. Love can bring us to the brink of total self-destruction. Yet we seek it with a passion an unwavering passion. Imagine bringing to bear this same passion in all aspects of our lives. Think about when love has involved the level of intensity and commitment you bring to it?

Romantic love brings out the very best, but it can bring out the very worst in people. Love blinds our judgment at times. Yet we continue to move towards the train tracks when everyone is screaming the train is coming. Will walk right out on those train tracks in pursuit of love.

When it comes to love, romantic love is often times where love begins and ends. Yet love should permeate our life experience in all we do. Love should guide our personal journey. Keep in the back of your mind reading this article the power of love. Think about your level of commitment to the pursuit of romantic love.

What seems to hide from most of us. Loving ourselves, loving the life we’ve carved out for ourselves. The passion with which we chisel out our experience. The masterpiece we hope it to be.

Of course, we love our family and children. When I talk about love or just about anything that has to do with life. Take the family out of the equation (not in the wrong way). Everyone loves their children, spouses with all their heart.

The real question is, do you love yourself as much as you like someone else? The same love you show for your child, do you give yourself that same level of devotion? If you don’t have a child, it can be a parent, spouse, or even a pet.

Do you love yourself with the same level that you like others?

The fact is being happy with yourself, bringing a glad you to this world. That’s where the real blessings begin. Where you find those hidden secrets to life that appear to be the most heavily guarded government secrets.

How do we find self-love, you ask?

  1. Spirituality. Get connected to God, the Universe, a higher power. Learn where your soul lives!
  2. Meditation, get connected with your conscious and sub-conscious mind. Learn to quiet the mind so you can receive.
  3. Breathe! Yep, I said it, learn to take breaks during your day to breathe. The power of this sixty-second time for you is immeasurable. It relaxes your mind and lets go of tension.
  4. Yoga. If you’ve never tried Yoga, then let me invite you for a fantastic surprise. Go try a few classes, you will get hooked!
  5. Make an investment in yourself. Video’s, books, classes, anything that uplifts your own spirit.

These five things are a great start. Learning to love yourself can be a daunting challenge. We’ve all done things in our lives that we wished we hadn’t. Guilt and self-loathing can rear their ugly heads to help us kick our own ass. It doesn’t have to be that way. Speaking from my personal experience here.

Here is my take on the past. If you are not doing the same things, you did in the past. Living your life in the right positive direction. It’s time to let yourself out of history and into your new life. It’s okay to love yourself, even with a past. Hell, we all have a past, if you’ve changed let it go.

Past indiscretions are not life sentences. Not doing the same things that were done in the past is your salvation to a new life. Let it go to God, never do it again, and you can have peace. This is a big one for me. If people in your life can’t see the change, you’ve made or want to hang on to the past. Don’t let that steal your joy.

If you have friends or family still holding onto your past. Not much you can do about that.

Loving ourselves begins with a first step. My challenge to you is to make the first step right now. Don’t think about it, start. Take one action today.

If you find this article useful, please think about buying me a cup of coffee, and thanks!

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self love,happiness,peace

Six Facts about Meditation that aren’t True

If you have never tried meditation because you have some preconceived notion about beginning a meditation practice. It’s time to get the real facts.

Excuses to try or do anything in this life won’t serve you well at all. Don’t assume to understand something without having a clear understanding. You’ve heard the old cliche, “Don’t judge a book by its cover.”

peace, happy, love, joy

Also, preconceived notions never pan out to what you believe, chances are it’s something you’re hearing or fear. Either way, it’s terrible form to embrace the negativity.

Here are some misconceptions about meditation: 

  1. Meditation is a Buddhist religious practice, “I’m not a Buddhist.” 
  2. I have to chant or do another embarrassing ritual. 
  3. I cannot clear my mind enough to relax.
  4. I don’t have the time! 
  5. I’m not a religious person, meditation is spiritual.
  6. It’s “hocus-pocus.” 

You may have other reason to not try or think you cannot meditate. I’m here to tell you meditation can change your life. It’s easy to do and you can with practice you too can find yourself loving to meditate.

Now let’s talk about an easy way to get started:

  1. If you’re like me trying to quiet the mind can seem a daunting challenge. Try using headphones with meditation music. If you focus on the music, slow your breathing in through the nose out through the mouth. Finding tranquility is a few music bars away. 
  2. Finding good meditation music, I use YouTube®. 
  3. One of the best places to meditate is sitting or lying in a quiet area (don’t fall asleep). Choose a spot where there will be no disruptions. This can be a challenge with children. With younger children practice your meditation during nap times or after bedtimes. Older children let them know you need some time with no interruption, they can go out and play. 
  4. As you move forward, taking a minute in your office chair, sitting in the car, anywhere where you can have a few minutes to yourself. It’s not hard to find these moments. 
  5. When you begin, take a few deep cleansing breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth. Then breathe nice relaxed breaths filling your lungs with good and blowing out the bad. Focus on breathing until you can feel comfortable. 
  6. Be in the moment. Let yourself go. It may take some time, but don’t stress. It comes with time and practice. It’s not hard to master it will happen. Don’t act like your unique “It won’t work for me.” Yes, it will work for you! 
  7. I will lose my edge. “I need my pain.” No, actually you don’t! You won’t lose 

Meditation is the best way to connect yourself with you! Learning to quiet one’s mind allowing ourselves to connect with the Universe. It’s a blessing beyond any measure. You can focus your thoughts on your minds-eye.  Opening up a whole new world of favor in your life.

self help, happy, smile

When you can see yourself in the positive light, you want for your life. Oh my, a peace you have never experienced will come over you in waves.

The beautiful thing with meditation is that when you do stumble and fall. Meditation is a tool that will help you re-center yourself. The quicker you get back to the good you, the better.

You can meditate for so many things:

  • Good Health
  • A happy you!
  • The spiritual connection to God
  • Happy Relationship
  • Finding answers to life’s questions

How I involve my meditation practice into my life. First, I told myself this was more important to my growth than just about any other modality. My connection to God is how I like to see it. Seeing myself grateful for happiness, good health, and all that God has to show me in my life.

During meditation, I can feel more connected to the Universe than just about any other time. One huge benefit for me; being able to have the patience to allow my life’s destiny to unfold. No longer forcing growth. If you don’t understand that statement, you will.

You can find time to meditate. Before work, after work, in the car (not driving of course), kids nap time, when you wake up, when you go to bed, sitting at the park, sitting by a river, just find a moment and do it.

The optimal time is 20 to 30 minutes for me. You can also get in an excellent quick relaxing breathing exercise for sixty seconds. The more you think about time is lost time you could have been meditating. This is your meditation practice, so time is not relevant to your success. You can go for an hour or sixty seconds. Don’t worry about the time you’ll know when you’re done.

Consistency in your practice will dictate the level of success you have. Find time every day even when you have to steal the time.

Get started today! Don’t think, do!

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Why Challenges are a Blankety-Blank

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”–Winston Churchill

Courage is where I believe we fail to achieve or overcoming challenges. When challenged in life obstacles can seem overwhelming, insurmountable to stifle our progress. In many occasions, we just give up and fail.

Learning to work through the pain of life is achieved through your own faith that all will work itself out as it should. Learning to accept that life will happen on its own terms. Learning to not push growth, but accept destiny unfolding on its terms. God does not need your help he needs your faith.

“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.”–Martin Luther King Jr.

God, will unfold your destiny timely when you allow it to unfold naturally. His favor can move the unmovable. When you hold-fast to faith in the face of absolute ruin. On the other side of this faith held strong is destiny!

obstacle, hope, happy

Look at challenges as the gateway to your life’s destiny. Accept the trials and tribulations with faith, that once you clear the dark forest a beautiful life season is before you. Our lives are seasonal, just as nature. My thought is this to be the natural order of things. How our body and the soul are connected to the seasonal universe.

Stop looking at obstacles as a barb-wire fence. With care, you can cross a barb-wire fence. You may get a poke or scratch here and there. The crossing can be done safely. You arrive at a new destination.

Admittedly, I struggle with faith, but I believe we all are challenged with faith from time-to-time.

The good news. Keep holding onto faith even when you can’t see any hope. The pain you may suffer through pails in comparison to the happiness on the other side. Faith will become easier to summon when you condition yourself.

We tend to lose faith in the precipice of change. If only one step further were taken, don’t let one step more stop you!

Call upon God through prayer and meditation. Thanking him for the end result of the season you find yourself. Focus on the result not the how. God has the how you stay in faith with gratitude that it’s done. Do this and God will make the impossible, possible!

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