God Is Your Coach

My new book, God is Your Coach out in Paperback and available on Kindle.

Take a look at chapter one:

Chapter 1

The Title Fight

In this corner, wearing depression, despair, and no hope Me!

In the black corner wearing out my life, the enemy!

The enemy will work to keep you sufficiently depressed so that you won’t take steps towards a new life. The attack can come in many forms, depression, self-doubt, or just merely giving in that this won’t work. Hogwash!

Change comes at a price. We’ve all heard the adage; nothing in this life is free. Nothing worth having is free. A beautiful life is worth the price we will pay to enjoy. There is hope, and it will come. However, we do have to navigate some attacks on our life.

As change begins to take hold in our life, smiles on our face, a pep in our step and peace in our mind. Everything appears to be moving nicely. All the sudden the rug gets pulled out from under our feet and smash we go.

The first thing that comes to us is excellent “this doesn’t work.” I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! Precisely what the enemy wants you to believe. Loser, failure, and nothing you will try will work. All lies! Here is the rub, stay in faith. What??? I can hear you screaming. Will get to this further in the book, keep going.

Spiritual warfare for those of you new to a Christian life can disenchant most from staying with God. As humans, we tend to allow pain to numb our senses in a way that we accept a sort of mediocrity for our lives. Sad! How the enemy keeps us leashed — never allowing us to wander off too far.

You’re not too old, too weak, too young, or any other moniker you can place to defeat yourself. Are you not tired of kicking your ass? I know I was and that has prompted this book.

Beginning this process, you will come out swinging. Strong bold, and you feel that you can conquer the world. Then you take a shot to the gut that puts you right to the ground. Everything starts falling apart; all your work seems to be running down the drain.

Depression and self-doubt overtake your mind. Spiritual warfare has arrived. Keep in mind that trials and tribulations can take on any negative form. We’re using these analogies to set an expectation that whatever form attacks take they’re relentless.

Here are a couple of things you can do to help you with immediate changes in your state-of-mind:

  1. Take 60 seconds and breathe. Cleansing breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth. Breathing will relax tension.
  2. Get outside and walk to the end of the block. Walking will relieve tension. Focus on the beauty around you.
  3. If you can get to a quiet place to meditate, relax your mind. Good, contemplate music.
  4. You can almost immediately change your state of mind listening to music that moves you. Music is incredibly healing at the moment. Get your feet to move.

Changing your state-of-mind can bring peace. Everything is going to be okay; you have to get your head there. The preceding was temp solutions to get your head out of a dark place.

No matter the obstacles in your life, they’re all temporary. Think about some hard-times in your life. If you’re past them, something terrible that happened ten years ago, that at the time seemed devastating. You must see, you’re still here, everything is most likely calmer, settled and most importantly over. The monster is defeated.

This next part of the chapter is one of two articles I have written and included in this eBook that I think help bolster the message I want to get across in this eBook. Bits and pieces may be redundant, but I trust you will overlook that to receive the news.

When your feet hit the floor in the morning, let the Devil say, “Oh Shit He’s up!”

Our minds can exhaust us to the point we feel like we’ve been in a heavyweight title fight. Pardon the cliché, but you are sick and tired of being sick and tired. What I want to prepare you for is the title fight that is coming. The enemy will see a change in you for good. All the sudden, you went from being depressed to having hope.

Jesus paid for your sins on the cross. I am not going to pretend to be a theologian and quote scripture. What I did do is start attending a great Bible-based church. Began to study the word of God. You have protection from the enemy; you can yourself cast him out of your head (No you’re not Reagan McNeil from the Exorcist). God supplies all the tools you need. You must show up for work.

Part of your job will be to follow the path I am laying down. Find an excellent Bible-based Church. Not hard to find and you may need to attend a couple before you see one that you feel is home. You will need the tools, and foundation for Christ to win the fight to come.

The enemy will come at you hard. WHY, because he is afraid to lose you to the right side. He wants your soul; he wants you to fail! You have free will so that it will become a choice. I would cry so hard thinking God seems pissed at me for all the things I have done in my life and losing hope that God wanted nothing to do with me. NOT TRUE! Learning from the study, Church and the Bible God loves me. It is the enemy that has the hold on us, not God. Rest easy dear friends. It is good and evil in this world it took me a while to understand. Sharing this first thing will sound a bit scary. You will have a better understanding that the difficulties to come are manageable with the right tools. God says, “No weapon formed against me will prosper.” Remember you have all the promises the Bible says we have. You must start believing with unwavering faith. God wants you to think about it before you receive it. Try it; this is where I stumbled hard.

Friends would tell me that God will never give you more than you can handle. I hated hearing that. The problem is it’s true. You can’t fight for the heavyweight championship of the world without getting knocked on your backside a few times. You will find the strength just as I did. Even from the darkest depths of your mind, a path to peace is available for anyone who seeks order.

Women readers who are moms can relate to this. Labor pains are excruciating, but the result is the greatest joy of your life. Once you go through labor and deliver yourself from hell, you’ve created in your head. The sooner the greatest joy in your life will be at hand.

Remembering always that the enemy will fill your mind with doubt, fear, this will never work. What happens is when you believe you’ll quit. Then the enemy wins. The only loser in this fight is you. It may seem as though God is not listening to you. He is, I thought this so many times. I would scream at God in my vehicle “get in the game” why are you forsaking me. He is not; the devil is treacherous in your mind.

You will learn to live with your soul, not your head. The mind will never win over your destiny. What you can control is how quickly you see your future reveal itself. Frustration, hate, anger, despair will only cause you to delay your life moving forward. You must begin to see yourself happy, joyous, and free of pain. Don’t scream, “I can’t do it.” If you do, you’re right. None of this is easy to hear; I get that!

What I am telling you is if you get knocked down get up. Tell yourself NOT THIS TIME; I get to win this time. Get that loser mentality out of your head. It won’t come all at once. You must recondition your mind for good. If you have suffered for a long-time change won’t happen overnight.

The mind will fight you to the point of utter exhaustion during a marathon where you will hit the wall many times. Just like marathon runners, you convince yourself that it’s a mind trick; it’s not your reality. Reality is you already have, peace, love, and happiness. We as Christians must learn to accept it. You think acceptance would be easy, for most it’s not. Stay in faith even when you don’t seem to have confidence in anything. Tell God you don’t see a way, but you trust he will make a move!

One of the most important things I can tell you. Don’t help God, don’t impose your will on a situation that needs Gods hand not yours — for example, separated from your spouse. It’s a situation that you did not want, hit you out of the blue and you’re heartbroken. You call your spouse saying I promise I will change; I love you, please let’s work it out. That’s imposing your will. It’s not you are helping even though you think you’re fighting for your marriage. STOP!

If you want to trust God for a change in your life follow along in this book, I share what mistakes I made so you can have greater insight. You need to believe that God is handling the heart of both you and your spouse. You are jumping in does not help. Trust that if you give your marriage to God, asking him for his will be done. Someone asked me two questions:

Do you want a perfect, loving, happy marriage?

Do you want your spouse back with no change?

Relationships meant to be will be. Maybe, God is moving this person out of your life to make room for your deep down in your soul exact right person to appear when we let our destiny unfold naturally what a blessed life we will have.

It’s not always easy to see clearly during times of adversity. Remember we’re in a title fight for our life. The enemy will put horrible, terrible things in our head or before us. We can get betrayed; our life shattered into pieces.

How you get up and tell the enemy “that’s all you got” I have the power of God almighty who controls my life. A quote I love, “when your feet hit the floor in the morning, the Devil says oh shit he’s up. “Anything beats living a life of misery. It’s where I am at, and I pray you are too. Now is our time and “I ain’t going down no more”—Rocky Balboa

The fight will come hard, but if you keep reading, you will find the help you need to get up and fight even harder. The tools you will learn will make those fights fewer. Your spiritual armor will see you through.

Stay strong because God is getting ready to show out in your life in ways you could never have imagined. Your blessings are on the other side of this battle; what was meant for your harm God will bless your life in ways that only he can.

The stronger the attack, the bigger the blessing. Crazy, but when you get kicked right in the gut hard. When you walk trusting God, you know, he is getting you ready to show out in your life! The pain you may encounter along the way in strengthening your resolve. Helping you be able to face anything the enemy throws in your approach to disrupt your life.

Everything I am writing about what I have experienced. So, if you’re saying what does this guy know about my pain, he won’t understand what I’m going through in my life. It’s because I’ve lived it same as you.  I choose not to lose any more! Hope you come along!

Are you ready for some good news?

What if you could look at all this doom & gloom as coaching experience. That with a different perspective to life’s challenges you could get through with expectations of winning. You’re excited to face these challenges with a new open mind. You believe now that you will win no matter the obstacles.

Well, friends get ready for chapter two because you are about to learn how to WIN!

To purchase this book click the cover to visit Amazon:

book, ebook, God is your coach

Own that Shi*

We know that in September, we will wander through the warm winds of summer’s wreckage. We will welcome summer’s ghost.”—Henry Rollins

One of the most relaxed moments in a Movie for me was when Harley Quin tells El Diablo after he tells his story about his powers “Own that Shit, own it!”—Harley Quin (from the movie Suicide Squad).

This article is about “Own that shit.” Whatever your life has doled out to you own it. But I received divorce papers, my car got repossessed, my boyfriend cheated on me, Own it! Don’t make the tragic mistake of pawning your life’s shit onto someone else. There is a reason this sounds harsh. Hang with me here!

prayer, hope, happiness

The absolute only person on this earth that can save you is you. Owning our shit means not being the victim. My ex-wife wanted a divorce, I never did. Until I was able to hold that shit, I was an absolute mess. When I realized over time that my destiny is in another direction from hers. If I want to understand what God truly has for me, then I need to head down a new path.

Own the fact that whatever befalls your life you inevitably must own it. The great news is you can. Learning to accept the trials of your life will open a whole new unimaginable freedom. Not a day goes by that I don’t recognize regret in my own life. We all have regrets. It’s taking ownership that indeed mistakes, defeats may come and go. Accept them and move on past summers ghost.

Everything in our life is seasonal. As we learn to own our experience good or bad, we will march through to the next adventure in our life. Not all movies have a happy ending, but, we still go see them. If you’ve never seen the movie Steel Magnolias, this movie will bring out real raw emotion. A loss that tears the very fabric of your life.

When you can turn tragedy in, own it, accept it, you can truly move on. Yes, some loss is monstrous and will require periods of mourning. However, at some point in time to begin your life anew. You simply need to own it.  Accept that life will move on without your participation. Ask yourself if your pain worth your life?

For example, if your child sees you cry, do they not come to you and say, “are you okay, please don’t cry.” Why, because they’ve heard you ask them the same question. In this scenario, you lose this child to cancer. The pain is unimaginable, to the point you truly just want to die. Ask yourself if your child was before you in this sad state, would they not want you to not cry and feel better? Loss is far-and-away the worse pain we as humans will ever experience.

At some point in time, we will have to own that pain. Accept what it is that nothing in this world will change the circumstance. We can wish it, pray for it, scream at God for it, but nothing will change. The only thing that can is me/you!

When my wife filed for divorce it for a time devastated my life. I did not want to know “nothing from nothing.” No amount of crying, yelling at God or the depression I fell in would change the outcome. I simply had to own it. Realize that for as much as I wish we could be together, that part of my life was over. The real question: just because that part of your life is over does that mean the rest of my life is over as well? Of course, it does not! A new dawn, the destiny God truly has for you is waiting, own it.

Through our pain, we learn to own our life. We learn to accept that life will throw a fastball that hits you right in the noodle and knocks you the fuck out. You can stay down, or you can Own that Shit! When you can tell the enemy let me promise you one thing when I wake up every morning the first words out of your mouth will be “Oh Shit he’s Up!” (a phrase you perhaps have read like a quote, can ring true in your life).

Coming to terms with owning our life good or bad. You will find peace, hope, faith, love, and courage. I did it and so can you, God Bless!

Comments or Questions:

A Man of True Faith, John Wooden

“Many things are essential to arriving at true peace of mind, and one of the most important is faith, which cannot be acquired without prayer.”–John Wooden

Arguably the greatest basketball coach to have ever lived. John Wooden instilled in his players more than just fame. He taught them to be a gentleman, put their studies at UCLA above basketball. The dressed in a shirt and tie before games. Any profanity on the court put you on the bench.

Coach Wooden taught his players how to live the life of a true gentleman above all. A man of God that reminds us of their legacy to simply be good folks.

God, Prayer, Faith

With God first in his life, faith ever present. A man who lived with a wife he adored, educated kids was his real passion, created some of the best players to have ever played in the NBA, Kareem Abdul Jabar, and Bill Walton just to name a couple.

Have faith it’s that simple! Follow the examples of people like John Wooden, who lived life. Put God first in your life!

Arguing Stop It!

In relationships, we will have conflict. Arguments will happen in the very best of situations. It’s just part of life’s landscape. The question is how do you handle conflict?

Arguments can escalate very quickly. Words come blurting out of mouths destine for ears of someone we love. Hateful words in the heat of the moment can cause irreparable harm to a relationship. Our words can cut deep or heal. Choose wisely your words; a more accurate statement could not be told. Before you utter a peep out of your mouth, stop and think.argue, couple, relationship

In the heat of the moment trying to stop and think is a challenge. Don’t get baited into a fight or the both of you could be very sorry. What we all forget in a debate is how much we love the person we’re arguing with. In the height of the conflict, all that tends to go out the window. Just as the enemy guides your mouth to a razor’s edge. Don’t fall into a trap.

Most important of all. DO NOT FIGHT TO WIN! If you do, you will ultimately pay the price for that.

Before a situation escalates into a battle. Try and stop everything. For example, agree to take a walk separately to cool off. Think about what the conflict is and weigh out it’s worth. So many times an argument can heat up to the point both parties forgot what they were arguing about. Hateful words overtook the issue. Sometimes, sorry is not enough when words come into play.

Taking a walk allows both parties to calm down. Think, honestly think about what the conflict is and weigh its significance against your bliss. When you both get back from taking a walk apart, take a short walk together and talk about anything but what you’re fussing over.

Doing this exercise will allow for some time to pass, then the chances are excellent that at this point you can find compromise and move on. Remember, that you care about and love each other. Arguments, more often than not are not about the other person but conflict within ourselves. Learn to discern the two.

My challenge to you right now. Go to someone you love right now, give a hug for no reason. Express, your love for someone special, strengthen your resolve to be happy. God bless!

Buy Me A Coffee

Who is the Enemy

Does the Devil Exist? Not the stereotypical Devil in the movies.

My life has never really been around the church or too caught up in religion. Never really understood what it meant to have a spiritual experience. I made fun of bible thumpers and religion. That comes from ignorance. It’s easy to make fun of something you’re ignorant too.

Fast forward fifty odd years to today. For a time, I studied metaphysics, enjoyed Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, and other spiritual teachers, just putting my toe in the water. I attended a few classes, did some fun work. I learned meditation, yoga, and visualization. Never really got the deeper side of spiritual life.

Few more year’s pass and life took a giant dump straight on my head. Oh, indeed this is my doing you understand. You can’t blame your life on anyone but yourself. Take ownership of that. “Own that shit”—Harley Quinn.

In debt up to my neck, separated from my wife, past due with the IRS, and the list goes on. This time in my life, at times, got very dark and hopeless. Hopelessness brings about dark thoughts about does your life even matter. Who would give two shits’ if you were gone? Scary times.prayer,faith, spiritual

When you’ve hit rock bottom, it does lend itself to the revaluation that maybe you might need help beyond earthly help. Don’t have the money for therapy or any mental health care. Going to have to bootstrap help if I wanted it. So, begins my journey back to finding some spiritual peace.

This time I chose to seek the church. Didn’t want so-called organized religion but wanted to the Bible-based teaching of God’s word. What promises did the Bible hold out that I could have? Was I even deserving of any peace? With nowhere to turn, I got on Joel Osteen’s website and looked for a Church close to me. I do like Joel Osteen and read all his books.

As I began to search out God, my depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts went out of control. Man, I could not believe how hard I was crashing. It was worse now than it had ever been. I would cry, wondering, “oh my God, what did I do to piss you off this bad?” What I came to learn from wonderful folks in my Church this was then enemy attacking my thoughts, not God.

No, my head does not spin, and I don’t spit green vomit at the priest (for those of you that have seen the Exorcist). It took me a few weeks to grasp this. The attack in my head was not God punishing me at all. The Devil is keeping me right where he has had me most of my life. In a depressed state, with no hope.

The question for me became what is causing my life to for a time rock along all is well to falling off a cliff? Why do I continue to fall short in my life? For me, this took falling to rock bottom. To losing what I loved the most to finally saying to God, there has to be a better way. What do I do God?

So begins my journey to find spiritual awakening. How do I find peace? How do I find the life that the Bible promises? You’ve heard part of my answer finding the right church family. The second part of this is research into the why of my life. Why do I fail at just about everything? Not a pity party this is a real question I believe for all of us.

When I would share my feelings with people in my Church that have what I am seeking, true faith in God. I would say, why is God punishing me so hard? To the point of dark thoughts against myself. The pain is beyond what at the time I thought I could endure. One person in my Church explained to me this was an attack by the enemy. What did I say?  The enemy who is that?

Okay, so you’re telling me the Devil lives in me. Oh, great, I’m possessed. The reply is NO; you’re are suffering from an attack in your mind. The enemy wants you to be depressed, he wants you to lose everything, and he would even love for you to do something stupid. Wow, this was a lot to swallow, but it made sense.

We have a choice to believe the enemy who is a liar above all. Or, we can choose to find the word of God and have the life Jesus bought and paid for with his. The attack on me continued to get worse.

Times I would be sitting in my truck and scream at God “WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?” Where are you get in the game? Again, the enemy is filling my head with doubt. When you calm your mind (I do in meditation), then you can begin to feel God.

What helped me to understand this is Napoleon Hills book Outwitting the Devil. All of us love and have most likely read Think and Grow Rich. This new book did not get published in his lifetime. His family waited some thirty years to publish it. I will not spoil it for you, but it’s an eye opener from a beloved author. It helped save my life in many ways.

Another person who has opened my understanding of how a spiritual life works are TD Jakes. One of his sermons had me crying in thanks because it made sense to me ultimately. Let me paraphrase what I heard. “The enemy’s attack is not punishment, the enemy’s fierce attack is because he is afraid of you, he is afraid of your power.” The enemy is about to lose you from his bond in your life. Anytime, you speak the truth, God’s word or praise over your life. Expect, him to put garbage in your head to change you into his thinking.

Take time to do some preparation in your life for a change. Don’t do it alone! Find a Church that you feel comfortable with attending. It may take visiting a few, but you will find one. Get involved with folks you see that genuinely walk-the-walk pardon the cliché. Read and study all that you can. Always have in your mind that at every corner and turn your head will be telling you, oh this is stupid. All this faith and Church stuff is bologna. That is the enemy!

Here is where you have to get out of your head. We have to learn to live from your hearts, our soul vs. our head. Learning to receive God in our hearts, this is where you will find peace. Don’t scream, I can’t do that, yes you can. It is the hardest thing for me, as well.

Find a place where you feel at peace. A lake, pond, Mountain View, fountain, anywhere that makes you feel at peace. Where you can find God to speak to your heart, this is where you will find peace. The enemy has you in your head with you trying to figure everything out. Faith is giving all your cares to God and letting it be. The enemy will tell you, “you better take control, life is about to get WAY worse if you don’t  do something about it.” That’s all horse manure. Go to God in prayer, don’t BEG! Thank him for already blessing you with that which you desire.

 Always pray as though you already have that which you need. You will come to learn that all God asks is for your faith. Show him you are faithful even when it looks like disaster is imminent. Don’t lose hope no matter what!

The enemy lives in your head; God lives in your heart. Learn to decern the difference and life will truly change for you. It’s not hard, but it’s a battle. The enemy will not give up easily, but I know in my heart that if you stay strong in faith, God will pull you through. Have an open heart!