Arguing Stop It!

In relationships, we will have conflict. Arguments will happen in the very best of situations. It’s just part of life’s landscape. The question is how do you handle conflict?

Arguments can escalate very quickly. Words come blurting out of mouths destine for ears of someone we love. Hateful words in the heat of the moment can cause irreparable harm to a relationship. Our words can cut deep or heal. Choose wisely your words; a more accurate statement could not be told. Before you utter a peep out of your mouth, stop and think.argue, couple, relationship

In the heat of the moment trying to stop and think is a challenge. Don’t get baited into a fight or the both of you could be very sorry. What we all forget in a debate is how much we love the person we’re arguing with. In the height of the conflict, all that tends to go out the window. Just as the enemy guides your mouth to a razor’s edge. Don’t fall into a trap.

Most important of all. DO NOT FIGHT TO WIN! If you do, you will ultimately pay the price for that.

Before a situation escalates into a battle. Try and stop everything. For example, agree to take a walk separately to cool off. Think about what the conflict is and weigh out it’s worth. So many times an argument can heat up to the point both parties forgot what they were arguing about. Hateful words overtook the issue. Sometimes, sorry is not enough when words come into play.

Taking a walk allows both parties to calm down. Think, honestly think about what the conflict is and weigh its significance against your bliss. When you both get back from taking a walk apart, take a short walk together and talk about anything but what you’re fussing over.

Doing this exercise will allow for some time to pass, then the chances are excellent that at this point you can find compromise and move on. Remember, that you care about and love each other. Arguments, more often than not are not about the other person but conflict within ourselves. Learn to discern the two.

My challenge to you right now. Go to someone you love right now, give a hug for no reason. Express, your love for someone special, strengthen your resolve to be happy. God bless!

Buy Me A Coffee

Advertisements

Who is the Enemy

Does the Devil Exist? Not the stereotypical Devil in the movies.

My life has never really been around the church or too caught up in religion. Never really understood what it meant to have a spiritual life. I made fun of bible thumpers and religion. That comes from ignorance. It’s easy to make fun of something you’re ignorant too.

Fast forward fifty odd years to today. For a time, I studied metaphysics, enjoyed Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, and other spiritual teachers, just putting my toe in the water. I attended a few classes, did some fun work. Learned meditation, yoga, and visualization. Never really got the deeper side of spiritual life.

Few more year’s pass and life took a giant dump straight on my head. Oh, indeed this is my doing you understand. You can’t blame your life on anyone but yourself. Take ownership of that. “Own that shit”—Harley Quinn.

In debt up to my neck, separated from my wife, past due with the IRS, and the list goes on. This time in my life at times got very dark and hopeless. Hopelessness brings about dark thoughts about does your life even matter. Who would give two shits’ if you were gone? Scary times.prayer,faith, spiritual

When you’ve hit rock bottom, it does lend itself to the revaluation that maybe you might need help beyond earthly help. Don’t have the money for therapy or any mental health care. Going to have to bootstrap help if I wanted it. So, begins my journey back to finding some spiritual peace.

This time I chose to seek the church. Didn’t want so-called organized religion but wanted to the Bible-based teaching of God’s word. What promises did the Bible hold out that I could have? Was I even deserving of any peace? With nowhere to turn I got on Joel Osteen’s website and looked for a Church close to me. I do like Joel Osteen and read all his books.

As I began to search out God, my depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts went out of control. Man, I could not believe how hard I was crashing. It was worse now than it had ever been. I would cry wondering “oh my God what did I do to piss you off this bad?” What I came to learn from wonderful folks in my Church this was then enemy attacking my thoughts, not God.

No, my head does not spin, and I don’t spit green vomit at the priest (for those of you that have seen the Exorcist). It took me a few weeks to grasp this. The attack in my head was not God punishing me at all. The Devil is keeping me right where he has had me most of my life. In a depressed state, with no hope.

The question for me became what is causing my life to for a time rock along all is well to falling off a cliff? Why do I continue to fall short in my life? For me, this took falling to rock bottom. To losing what I loved the most to finally saying to God, there has to be a better way. What do I do God?

So begins my journey to find a spiritual awakening. How do I find peace? How do I find the life that the Bible promises? You’ve heard part of my answer finding a good church family. The second part of this is research into the why of my life. Why do I fail at just about everything? Not a pity party this is a real question I believe for all of us.

When I would share my feelings with people in my Church that have what I am seeking, true faith in God. I would say why is God punishing me so hard? To the point of dark thoughts against myself. The pain is beyond what at the time I thought I could endure. One person in my Church explained to me this was an attack by the enemy. What did I say?  The enemy who is that?

Okay, so you’re telling me the Devil lives in me. Oh, great I’m possessed. The reply is NO; you’re are suffering from an attack in your mind. The enemy wants you to be depressed, he wants you to lose everything, and he would even love for you to do something stupid. Wow, this was a lot to swallow, but it made sense.

We have a choice to believe the enemy who is a liar above all. Or, we can choose to believe the word of God and have the life Jesus bought and paid for with his. The attack on me continued to get worse.

Times I would be sitting in my truck and scream at God “WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?” Where are you get in the game? Again, the enemy is filling my head with doubt. When you calm your mind (I do in meditation), then you can begin to feel God.

What helped me to understand this is Napoleon Hills book Outwitting the Devil. All of us love and have most likely read Think and Grow Rich. This new book did not get published in his lifetime. His family waited some thirty years to publish it. I will not spoil it for you, but it’s an eye opener from a beloved author. It helped save my life in many ways.

Another person who has opened my understanding of how a spiritual life works are TD Jakes. One of his sermons had me crying in thanks because it made sense to me completely. Let me paraphrase what I heard. “The enemy’s attack is not punishment, the enemy’s fierce attack is because he is afraid of you, he is afraid of your power.” The enemy is about to lose you from his bond in your life. Anytime, you speak the truth, God’s word or praise over your life. Expect, him to put garbage in your head to change you into his thinking.

Take time to do some preparation in your life for a change. Don’t do it alone! Find a Church that you feel comfortable with attending. It may take visiting a few, but you will find one. Get involved with folks you see that truly walk-the-walk pardon the cliché. Read and study all that you can. Always have in your mind that at every corner and turn your head will be telling you, oh this is stupid. All this faith and Church stuff is bologna. That is the enemy!

Here is where you have to get out of your head. We have to learn to live from your hearts, our soul vs. our head. Learning to receive God in our hearts, this is where you will find peace. Don’t scream I can’t do that, yes you can. It is the hardest thing for me as well.

Find a place where you feel at peace. A lake, pond, Mountain View, fountain, anywhere that makes you feel at peace. Where you can find God to speak to your heart, this is where you will find peace. The enemy has you in your head with you trying to figure everything out. Faith is giving all your cares to God and letting it be. The enemy will tell you “you better take control, life is about to get WAY worse if you don’t  do something about it.” That’s all horse manure. Go to God in prayer, don’t BEG! Thank him for already blessing you with that which you desire.

 Always pray as though you already have that which you need. You will come to learn that all God asks is for your faith. Show him you are faithful even when it looks like disaster is imminent. Don’t lose faith no matter what!

The enemy lives in your head; God lives in your heart. Learn to decern the difference and life will truly change for you. It’s not hard, but it’s a battle. The enemy will not give up easily, but I know in my heart that if you stay strong in faith, God will pull you through. Have an open heart!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Out of the Blue from YOU

Okay everyone today is a challenge, a fun challenge for you to do.

When you get home today to your family. I want you to for no reason at all grab your spouse hug them like you’ve never hugged them before. The question flying out of the mouth of your spouse “what’s this all about”?

The answer needs to come from your heart. Be grateful you have someone that is your spouse. Remember the moment you fell in love with that person. Take that love energy and release that connection in your hug. Feel the energy of your bodies embraced in a simple hug. Let that person know you feel blessed, happy and in love.Family, love, kids, spouse

If you have kids, get them off a game and do the same. Hug them like you’ve never hugged them before. Let them feel your love and how special they are to you.

Do this with NO expectation. Just LOVE your family for no other reason than LOVE.

Take your cell phone and turn it off. Be present at the moment. Don’t ask about work, how was your day. Just look your family in the eye and just say I love you! That’s it, that’s all. I know in my heart this will be a fantastic experience.

A beautiful surprise is when you can be totally present at the moment and show true love. We get busy, frustrated with life, the list goes on. Take time tonight when you get home to remind your spouse and kids if you have them. How much they truly mean to you. Express your love.

We need to remember kindness, love, and a connectedness to our significant loved ones. I am guilty of not recognizing to be present at the moment with my family. To allow life’s stresses to come home with me. We all do it. Tonight surprise your family, even if it’s just your pet, show them, extra special love, today.

I want to hear stories, so I hope you will come back and share.