Single Mom Living My Best Life

My New Book just published today. Enjoy the Introduction and you have a link at the bottom of the page to visit my Author Page available at Amazon.

A Guide for Extraordinary Change

single mothers, mom, parenting

Introduction

‘When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me.’”—Erma Bombeck

Well, let’s start with the obvious. I’m not a single Mom, and why should you listen to this dude?

How about answering a couple of questions first?

  1. What if you could learn self-confidence enough to crush all your goals?
  2. What if you could learn to earn more money than you ever have?

No, we’re not selling pipedreams!

I felt compelled to share my life experience, knowledge of business, my Christian faith for single moms that might be struggling to make ends-meat.

What I am suggesting to you is that if you lack confidence, don’t believe you can go any further than where you are right now. You could not be more wrong.

This book will teach you confidence building through faith.  How to overcome negative mindsets. Most importantly, how to not only sell how valuable you are but potentially find a career in sales. Perhaps even further in whatever endeavor YOU choose! How about an I want a job, not a have-to-have mundane job?

Sales skills can help you advance any job. When you can ethically build value in products or services, you offer. You will begin to see your career move like the wind. I will teach you to do this in a fun and engaging way.

Throughout the book, exercises, notes, and learning will occur. Get a notebook to have ready to do some fun work.

Taking our life and turning it on its axis, shaking it up, and on the other side is your joy, peace, and smile!

Many times, over the years, I have heard Pastors say. Bring everything to the Lord. Nothing is too big or small. Joel Osteen once said if God can bring into existence the Universe. Don’t you imagine he can bring into reality your dreams?

TD Jakes, who makes me laugh wonderfully. Talks about bringing wimpy prayers to God. He, too, uses the analogy God flung the universe into existence, and all you’re going to ask him for is, “Oh Lord, please, I need to pay my rent.” He, in a bold voice, says stop asking God to pay your rent but ask God for the means and way to have a mortgage.

With work and faith together in this book, we can move mountains.

Get all the stereotypical sales guy images out of your head, open your heart, and let’s learn! When I speak about sales skills if you can use your power of persuasion in the betterment of your life. Wow, watch what you can do!

Single moms of which by the way I was raised by one. Perhaps I have some insight given the struggles my Mother endured.

When I was three years old, my father took me, my little sister and mother to my maternal grandparents’ home. Dropped us off to never return. I can remember my mother from time-to-time crying uncontrollably.

Fast forward my life to times I remember how hard it was on my mom. One morning I remember when I was seven, maybe eight years old. My mother was in the bathroom, and I heard a crash and a break in the bathroom sink.

My mother had saved her money to by some sort of face cream, something just for her. It dropped and apparently broke in the sink to the point of being ruined. I remember hearing her crying so hard, saying, “I never ask for anything why?” “I saved for months to get this, oh God.”

It was haunting to me. I knew my mother’s heart was torn for something she had struggled so hard to get.

Over the years, my mother gave up her life for my sister and me. She never really dated because my sister and I had terrible times with she would leave us. We had abandonment issues so severe that my mother simply stopped trying to have her own life.

She also worked her ass off, never in my life can I remember that my mother took a sick day from work. Two times in her life, she was hospitalized for cysts in her breasts. Doctors wanted to do a biopsy. Thank God she was always okay.

My mother made clothes, and other personal items work well beyond what they should. Just so, my sister and I could have new things. Or just food on the table.

She made sure we got to ski competitively. That I had new skis each season. Paid for ski trips to races. As a child, you don’t realize what this is assuredly costing our family.

Now that my mother is in her eighties, I can reflect on what she did for me in my life. The sacrifice (although she would never say that) she made for me. I don’t think any of us would change our life.

For me, maybe at this moment do I now realize why this book and why you.

If I could bestow any bit of wisdom upon you. My mother in her day did not have the same access to the internet, cell phones, information as you do today. Her choice was to, at any cost, make sure my sister and I were cared for. She did that with grace.

Some of you will say well, that’s what a Mother is supposed to do. That be the case, my mother passed this test with grace. Today, however, I believe if you’re a single Mom, you might have an opportunity to not only be the Mom you want to be but to be the individual you dream of being. I tell ladies you can have both!

You have before you a world in which you have choices beyond just taking care of your children. You can also have a life with not only your children but one in which you can have an experience to the point that you say to God at the end of your days. “Thanks, that was a hell of a ride!”

Limits are only set by you. There is no stone tablet, no law, nothing to prevent you from achieving all that life has to offer.

My mother was a voracious reader all her life. Now sitting here writing this. It occurs to me that maybe, therefore, I wanted to write as my career!

Since I cannot change the trajectory of my Mother loving choices. Maybe, just maybe, I can share with you enough to help shape the trajectory of your life. I can share useful information, but this is a path you must walk.

You don’t know how the course of our life and the lives around us will shape us. I believe that I understand better why I am an author today than ever before.

Click Here to Visit My Page Author Page

God Is Your Coach

My new book, God is Your Coach out in Paperback and available on Kindle.

Take a look at chapter one:

Chapter 1

The Title Fight

In this corner, wearing depression, despair, and no hope Me!

In the black corner wearing out my life, the enemy!

The enemy will work to keep you sufficiently depressed so that you won’t take steps towards a new life. The attack can come in many forms, depression, self-doubt, or just merely giving in that this won’t work. Hogwash!

Change comes at a price. We’ve all heard the adage; nothing in this life is free. Nothing worth having is free. A beautiful life is worth the price we will pay to enjoy. There is hope, and it will come. However, we do have to navigate some attacks on our life.

As change begins to take hold in our life, smiles on our face, a pep in our step and peace in our mind. Everything appears to be moving nicely. All the sudden the rug gets pulled out from under our feet and smash we go.

The first thing that comes to us is excellent “this doesn’t work.” I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! Precisely what the enemy wants you to believe. Loser, failure, and nothing you will try will work. All lies! Here is the rub, stay in faith. What??? I can hear you screaming. Will get to this further in the book, keep going.

Spiritual warfare for those of you new to a Christian life can disenchant most from staying with God. As humans, we tend to allow pain to numb our senses in a way that we accept a sort of mediocrity for our lives. Sad! How the enemy keeps us leashed — never allowing us to wander off too far.

You’re not too old, too weak, too young, or any other moniker you can place to defeat yourself. Are you not tired of kicking your ass? I know I was and that has prompted this book.

Beginning this process, you will come out swinging. Strong bold, and you feel that you can conquer the world. Then you take a shot to the gut that puts you right to the ground. Everything starts falling apart; all your work seems to be running down the drain.

Depression and self-doubt overtake your mind. Spiritual warfare has arrived. Keep in mind that trials and tribulations can take on any negative form. We’re using these analogies to set an expectation that whatever form attacks take they’re relentless.

Here are a couple of things you can do to help you with immediate changes in your state-of-mind:

  1. Take 60 seconds and breathe. Cleansing breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth. Breathing will relax tension.
  2. Get outside and walk to the end of the block. Walking will relieve tension. Focus on the beauty around you.
  3. If you can get to a quiet place to meditate, relax your mind. Good, contemplate music.
  4. You can almost immediately change your state of mind listening to music that moves you. Music is incredibly healing at the moment. Get your feet to move.

Changing your state-of-mind can bring peace. Everything is going to be okay; you have to get your head there. The preceding was temp solutions to get your head out of a dark place.

No matter the obstacles in your life, they’re all temporary. Think about some hard-times in your life. If you’re past them, something terrible that happened ten years ago, that at the time seemed devastating. You must see, you’re still here, everything is most likely calmer, settled and most importantly over. The monster is defeated.

This next part of the chapter is one of two articles I have written and included in this eBook that I think help bolster the message I want to get across in this eBook. Bits and pieces may be redundant, but I trust you will overlook that to receive the news.

When your feet hit the floor in the morning, let the Devil say, “Oh Shit He’s up!”

Our minds can exhaust us to the point we feel like we’ve been in a heavyweight title fight. Pardon the cliché, but you are sick and tired of being sick and tired. What I want to prepare you for is the title fight that is coming. The enemy will see a change in you for good. All the sudden, you went from being depressed to having hope.

Jesus paid for your sins on the cross. I am not going to pretend to be a theologian and quote scripture. What I did do is start attending a great Bible-based church. Began to study the word of God. You have protection from the enemy; you can yourself cast him out of your head (No you’re not Reagan McNeil from the Exorcist). God supplies all the tools you need. You must show up for work.

Part of your job will be to follow the path I am laying down. Find an excellent Bible-based Church. Not hard to find and you may need to attend a couple before you see one that you feel is home. You will need the tools, and foundation for Christ to win the fight to come.

The enemy will come at you hard. WHY, because he is afraid to lose you to the right side. He wants your soul; he wants you to fail! You have free will so that it will become a choice. I would cry so hard thinking God seems pissed at me for all the things I have done in my life and losing hope that God wanted nothing to do with me. NOT TRUE! Learning from the study, Church and the Bible God loves me. It is the enemy that has the hold on us, not God. Rest easy dear friends. It is good and evil in this world it took me a while to understand. Sharing this first thing will sound a bit scary. You will have a better understanding that the difficulties to come are manageable with the right tools. God says, “No weapon formed against me will prosper.” Remember you have all the promises the Bible says we have. You must start believing with unwavering faith. God wants you to think about it before you receive it. Try it; this is where I stumbled hard.

Friends would tell me that God will never give you more than you can handle. I hated hearing that. The problem is it’s true. You can’t fight for the heavyweight championship of the world without getting knocked on your backside a few times. You will find the strength just as I did. Even from the darkest depths of your mind, a path to peace is available for anyone who seeks order.

Women readers who are moms can relate to this. Labor pains are excruciating, but the result is the greatest joy of your life. Once you go through labor and deliver yourself from hell, you’ve created in your head. The sooner the greatest joy in your life will be at hand.

Remembering always that the enemy will fill your mind with doubt, fear, this will never work. What happens is when you believe you’ll quit. Then the enemy wins. The only loser in this fight is you. It may seem as though God is not listening to you. He is, I thought this so many times. I would scream at God in my vehicle “get in the game” why are you forsaking me. He is not; the devil is treacherous in your mind.

You will learn to live with your soul, not your head. The mind will never win over your destiny. What you can control is how quickly you see your future reveal itself. Frustration, hate, anger, despair will only cause you to delay your life moving forward. You must begin to see yourself happy, joyous, and free of pain. Don’t scream, “I can’t do it.” If you do, you’re right. None of this is easy to hear; I get that!

What I am telling you is if you get knocked down get up. Tell yourself NOT THIS TIME; I get to win this time. Get that loser mentality out of your head. It won’t come all at once. You must recondition your mind for good. If you have suffered for a long-time change won’t happen overnight.

The mind will fight you to the point of utter exhaustion during a marathon where you will hit the wall many times. Just like marathon runners, you convince yourself that it’s a mind trick; it’s not your reality. Reality is you already have, peace, love, and happiness. We as Christians must learn to accept it. You think acceptance would be easy, for most it’s not. Stay in faith even when you don’t seem to have confidence in anything. Tell God you don’t see a way, but you trust he will make a move!

One of the most important things I can tell you. Don’t help God, don’t impose your will on a situation that needs Gods hand not yours — for example, separated from your spouse. It’s a situation that you did not want, hit you out of the blue and you’re heartbroken. You call your spouse saying I promise I will change; I love you, please let’s work it out. That’s imposing your will. It’s not you are helping even though you think you’re fighting for your marriage. STOP!

If you want to trust God for a change in your life follow along in this book, I share what mistakes I made so you can have greater insight. You need to believe that God is handling the heart of both you and your spouse. You are jumping in does not help. Trust that if you give your marriage to God, asking him for his will be done. Someone asked me two questions:

Do you want a perfect, loving, happy marriage?

Do you want your spouse back with no change?

Relationships meant to be will be. Maybe, God is moving this person out of your life to make room for your deep down in your soul exact right person to appear when we let our destiny unfold naturally what a blessed life we will have.

It’s not always easy to see clearly during times of adversity. Remember we’re in a title fight for our life. The enemy will put horrible, terrible things in our head or before us. We can get betrayed; our life shattered into pieces.

How you get up and tell the enemy “that’s all you got” I have the power of God almighty who controls my life. A quote I love, “when your feet hit the floor in the morning, the Devil says oh shit he’s up. “Anything beats living a life of misery. It’s where I am at, and I pray you are too. Now is our time and “I ain’t going down no more”—Rocky Balboa

The fight will come hard, but if you keep reading, you will find the help you need to get up and fight even harder. The tools you will learn will make those fights fewer. Your spiritual armor will see you through.

Stay strong because God is getting ready to show out in your life in ways you could never have imagined. Your blessings are on the other side of this battle; what was meant for your harm God will bless your life in ways that only he can.

The stronger the attack, the bigger the blessing. Crazy, but when you get kicked right in the gut hard. When you walk trusting God, you know, he is getting you ready to show out in your life! The pain you may encounter along the way in strengthening your resolve. Helping you be able to face anything the enemy throws in your approach to disrupt your life.

Everything I am writing about what I have experienced. So, if you’re saying what does this guy know about my pain, he won’t understand what I’m going through in my life. It’s because I’ve lived it same as you.  I choose not to lose any more! Hope you come along!

Are you ready for some good news?

What if you could look at all this doom & gloom as coaching experience. That with a different perspective to life’s challenges you could get through with expectations of winning. You’re excited to face these challenges with a new open mind. You believe now that you will win no matter the obstacles.

Well, friends get ready for chapter two because you are about to learn how to WIN!

To purchase this book click the cover to visit Amazon:

book, ebook, God is your coach