Tying it All Together

My latest book on Amazon. Tying it All Together

Don’t you sometimes wish that you could tie everything in your life together? Career, relationships, marriage, and parenting. That all these aspects of your life to harmoniously work. Instead, our lives get fragmented, one minute our job is on top of the world, the next we’re in divorce court. Nothing ever seems to run hitting on all eight cylinders running smooth. The trouble is one part of our life can crater with a trickle down in all other areas of our life.

Chapter 1

I can’t | I don’t have

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.”—Thomas A. Edison

First, we get out of our language anything to do with lack. The “I can’t” or “I don’t have” is not part of the English language of your new life.

Second, nay Sayers are just that. People who can’t do a thing themselves and naturally you can’t either if you listen to that bilge. What you’re now looking for are Mentors, people who uplift you.

Throughout history, people have done things that others said could not be done. Or invented products that folks needed. All the while, naysayers are “It can’t be done.” Horse hockey!

Limiting beliefs placed in our sub-conscious over years of saying I can’t. Also not limited to just that phrase. Years and years of self-defeating language has us convinced we cannot.

Dogpile on top of that, family, friends, managers, whomever, telling you that you don’t have what it takes, you don’t have the education, people who do that are gifted. What? You can teach yourself anything.

Okay, I give. You can’t teach yourself to be a brain surgeon. My point with this statement is I doubt you’re looking to become a brain surgeon, don’t overthink what your ability can or cannot achieve. Start, try, give it a shot, jump, swim, begin is the point!

So, in this chapter, we’re going to start replacing limiting language and thoughts. How you say, well I have an answer for that. Without this step in the process, later in the book, you will have more difficulty if you don’t make the changes now.

What do we have to change:

  1. Replace limiting thoughts with thoughts of okay how do I achieve this (the what is irrelevant at this point).
  2. Be aware of the language, the words that we use. I can’t, is NO longer a word in your mind’s dictionary. Don’t worry; I am going to share how to get rid of this stuff.
  3. Self-defeating actions. Self-sabotage, and worst of all, procrastination.

There is a lot more to the life changes than just the three I listed. You get a general idea.  As we move through chapters, we will cover a great deal more ground.

For many years we teach ourselves unknowingly that we can’t achieve certain things. Limiting beliefs are ingrained in our subconscious mind over the years. Taking time now to change this old habit and create new ones will take work and time.

What I have found that helps me declutter my mind so that I can see myself in a better state-of-mind, meditation. Learning to meditate can get you back in touch with your inner self.

Getting rid of limiting beliefs takes retraining our mind not once to say, “I can’t do that.”
“I don’t have what it takes to achieve this.” In your meditation practice, you begin to see yourself through your mind’s eye in the place you want to be — not just a physical place, but where you see yourself emotionally.

Our brain will tell us to run from something that raises our stress level. It’s like what Marathon runners experience when they hit what is called the wall. That point late in the race where the brain is saying you can’t make another step, stop, your mind is telling you that your legs are injured. Push past this without risk of injury to your body.

Studies that prove it’s the brain talking to you, not physical injury. Pushing through this emotional wall is possible.

This bond your brain has with flight will be hard to break. Meditation is a daily practice. It’s the best way I have found to quiet my mind so I can reprogram my thoughts for growth, not defeat.

Let’s cover a few points on how easy it is to begin to meditate before you start if you have a spouse or partner have them give you a brief shoulder neck massage before beginning your practice — the tension out of your body as much as possible.

“Everything that’s created comes out of silence. Your thoughts emerge from the nothingness of silence. Your words come out of this void. Your very essence emerged from emptiness. All creativity requires some stillness.”—Wayne Dyer

Let’s begin:

  1. Pick a time when you can have thirty minutes to an hour to yourself. With no interruption. My favorite place is my bedroom. I can either sit on the floor with my back to the bed or lay down (don’t fall asleep).
  2. Music playing, outdoor sounds, ocean, rain, can be calming and help you relax. It’s best if you can use headphones. You can find lots of cool stuff on YouTube® that’s commercial free. I find that with headphones, I can concentrate my mind more sharply.
  3. Take several deep cleansing breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth. Helps clear your body and ease tension.
  4. Then with the eye’s closed in a relaxed posture. Breathe. Follow your breathing with your mind, nice slow breaths filling your body with oxygen. It’s good to feel your belly as it moves up and down. Get a rhythm.
  5. Begin to relax your feet, move up your legs into your hips, and let your body go. Breath and relax all the tension out of your body. Just focus for a time on relaxing your body.
  6. As you relax feel yourself floating, imagine your light enough to float on clouds.
  7. When relaxed and breathing rhythmically. Begin to focus your minds-eye towards happiness. See yourself happy. That can take any form you like. Use your imagination to see yourself happy. What is something YOU love to do? What makes you the most comfortable. It could be from childhood or adulthood: no right or wrong way, just a happy place.
  8. Placing your mind there now begin to allow that emotion to fill your body. Feel it from the balls of your feet to the crown of your head. Feel happiness; fill your body. Allow yourself to be in this bliss. Stay as-long-as you like.
  9. As you begin to come out of your meditation, slowly allow your body to unwind, let go of any thought and be in the moment. Open your eye’s and smile.
  10. Begin this process tonight! What you will learn in this book is we act now, not tomorrow! Procrastination is not in our vocabulary anymore. Begin today, please, and thank you.

If you want to make it through times when you will hit the Marathon wall, and it’s like you just got hit by a Mack truck, you must train to overcome what we will have to face as you begin this process.

You will have challenges to be sure. Don’t worry; our emotional training starts here. You will find the strength. So exciting.

Years and years of Garbage is overflowing your mind. This book is a garbage truck.

The “I can’t” do this or that. Who says? 99% of the time you. How do you know if you’re not even willing to try? Saying this to yourself, I can’t is conditioned into your mind so profoundly that you believe whatever your head is telling you. Hard to imagine that we can lie to ourselves unknowingly. It’s packaged to a negative response you accept.

We’ve all heard the story of breaking the four-minute mile. Once achieved, then many athletes now can claim they can run four-minute miles.

“It always seems impossible until it’s done.”—Nelson Mandela 

Twenty years ago, if you would have asked anyone in my family, do you think Robert will write books years from now. They would have laughed until they peed their pants. Not even my friends would have believed this to be true.

Fear is also going to hold you back. We all fear failure. The difference between success and failure is people stop because they get scared. “I have a family I can’t risk failure!” Ask yourself if you have enough money to stand a year-long layoff (heaven forbid) if tomorrow your company said we’re cutting back?

We’re all a paycheck away from disaster most of our lives. So, don’t use this as an excuse.

What if I could show you a way to conquer fear enough to allow you to formulate a plan to save your life, strengthen your family, and will enable you to walk with peace-of-mind. Be great, wouldn’t it?

Okay, follow along.

Everything you’ve learned in life plays it safe; I am going to teach you how to play it smart.

Stop buying the sack of manure you sell yourself every day that you can’t. Get the I’m shy; I’m weak, I’m feeble, get that the hell out of your vocabulary.

How?

Every time you say I can’t, take a rubber band and pop the crap out of your arm.  However, take a moment to say that was the old me, the NEW ME CAN! I can be happy; I can be in shape, I can learn more, I can have a happy marriage, I can have great kids, I can, I can, I can!

If you screw up guess what you’re not alone. Acknowledge, you had a time of weakness but your back. Guess what you can make a mistake and get right back on track. Right now, I want you to stop and run a mile as fast as you can no walking. Could you do it! Probably not is my guess. Could you if you trained for a month or so? Sure.

You’re not going to overcome this the first time. You’re not going to change without practice. Set in your phone reminders that buzz, ding, ring, whatever. Tell yourself to smile, or be strong, put an affirmation as a reminder.

Put all the good in your noodle today that you can plunge into your brain. Guess what we do this over and over. Day after day!

Shy people hello. Man are we going to need to get outside our comfort zone. Fear not time to train. How can we overcome fear?

“People who ask confidently get more than those who are hesitant and uncertain. When you’ve figured out what you want to ask for, do it with certainty, boldness, and confidence. Don’t be shy or feel intimidated by the experience. You may face some unexpected criticism but be prepared for it with confidence.”—Jack Canfield

Here are some fun ideas:

  1. Find social meetups. Places that you can go to a book club, movie review club anywhere that you must socially interact with friendly people. Nice folks won’t eat you I promise.
  2. The best way to get outside yourself is to help someone in need. Can even be an animal shelter. Put yourself in situations where you can gain strength. Social interaction helping someone is a blessing beyond words. Single parents take your kids.
  3. Go to Yoga, meditation classes; take a cooking class.

Finding ways to strengthen our life resolve is just a matter of getting off our butt and doing it. I wish I could say something or give you a pill. My friends, we must work to achieve. Good news, it’s not hard, most of these costs no money.

Through your meditation practice, when you visualize yourself, see yourself healthy, assertive, and happy. Show your subconscious what you want it will manifest for you. Take this to prayer, let God know you no longer say I can’t, or I don’t have.

God will supply abundance in all areas of your life. Keep in mind this is not about starting a business, jobs, or material things. Yes, it’s a part of if you want it to be. This book is teaching you how to have an all-encompassing life. Mind, Body, Soul.

When you find yourself in a difficult situation, go to God in prayer, let him know that you need help, what I do when times in my head get dark. I say, “God has me” over and over. Eventually, I get calm.

In times of stress, let God know you’re not losing anymore. Power your way through. Even if you see no hope at all, hold onto hope with blind faith. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Talking later in the book, we will do an entire chapter on Resources vs. Resourcefulness. When you can master how to be resourceful the I can’t, and I don’t will go straight out the window. Also, strengthen your ability to fend off fear.

Fear manifests when you don’t have a solution. Then your mind starts to say “oh boy we’re going to crash” and away your head goes, and down you go. Think about being able to on command say “I have an app for that” metaphorically speaking.

You can know in your heart that today; an answer does not exist. Give me some time to sort this out and away you go. Having that knowledge to, in a sense, trick your mind into saying “we got this” will give you the inner strength to overcome any obstacle.

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Snooze Button or Life

Is your ass out of that bad at 4:00 AM every day. Ready to meet the day, be there when the break of a lifetime dumps right in your lap. Oh, wait you’re still in bed.

If you can’t get your ass out of bed. Why would I hire you? You need to tell people you get more done before 7:00 AM than most get done in a day!

“A life of leisure and a life of laziness are two things. There will be sleeping enough in the grave.”–Benjamin Franklin

Questions you seriously need to ask yourself:

  • Is sleeping in more important than my family?
  • Is sleeping in more important than my Success?
  • Is sleeping in more important than my Body temple?
  • Is sleeping in more important than my Workout?

We could list hundreds more. Go ahead, reach over, and hit the snooze button. Hell NO!

24-hour day – 6 hours sleep – 8-hour work day = 10-hours left to have a life! What are you prepared to do?

Stop convincing yourself morning-after-morning that you’re not a morning person. BS! The most exceptional salesperson in the world is you. You sell yourself everyday mediocrity, and you keep buying. Stop NOW selling yourself short in your life.

By the time you see this sunrise, you will have achieved more in your day than most will in an 8 hour day! 

society, self improvement, sunrise

Mind over HELL YES IT MATTERS! How bad do you want to succeed? This is NOT a sacrifice but an investment in your success. We’ve talked about this before, if you feel anything you’re doing involves sacrifice. Rethink your position. Every step you take is one step closer to success in every aspect of your life, that is NO sacrifice!

Begin your day at 4:00 AM. 

Or hit the snooze button and watch life pass you by. Who knows the person you can become if you get out of bed and blaze a trail for others to follow. For some of you by the time you get up the world has zipped by with opportunity, oh you were sleeping, huge break, oh you were sleeping, the love of your life was going to cross your path at the gym today, oh you were sleeping.

If your life right now does not wake you up. This is your wake up call it’s 4:00 AM and this day filled with your success! Or hit the snooze button, it’s a choice.

So just getting up is not enough. Here are some great investments you can make towards a great life:

  1. Roll out of bed onto your knees and pray! 
  2. Set time aside to meditate.
  3. Walk, take a brisk walk.
  4. Study something that fills your mind with more knowledge. 
  5. Finish a project you’ve put off. 
  6. Read.
  7. Feed your body healthy food, protein shakes, fresh juice. Take care of the body temple. 
  8. Yoga.

Eight simple things you can do all before 6:00 AM.

Here is food-for-thought:

1 hour of study per day = 365 Hours of research in one year! If knowledge is power, imagine 365 hours of it packed into your brain. Or you can hit the snooze button.

Change is not easy, but damn what are you waiting for. This is something I fight with myself every day. The voice in your head will convince you just five more minutes. Don’t get sold a sack of dog poo.

You will be in good company tomorrow morning if you wake up with me. At 4:00 AM I will look to the sky and say good morning, Dewayne “The Rock” Johnson will be hard at cardio, Bill Gates and Warren Buffet will be up. Not to mention the other winners just like YOU that say, “Enough is Enough its MY Time!”

Questions or comments:

Don’t Let Anyone Steal Your Joy

“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.”

This quote has been attributed to Sigmund Freud, William Gibson, and a host of others. I found it both straight to the point and funny. Whoever can take credit for it!

We all learn to keep certain people at arm’s length, or we allow them into our experience. Taking care to protect our emotions.

Learn to not allow toxic people to steal your joy. If needed, these folks may need to exit your life if you deal with issues concerning them. You don’t have to allow that, ever!

self help, confidence, friends

Sometimes we have to move on from relationships to make room for the new. Changing seasons in our life will bring new friends, mentors, and essential people that God sees fit to move into our life experience. Be open!

Embrace those that lift you up, challenge your status quo. Lots of people are searching for the same quality of life you are. I find great people at Church that follow a path of happiness.

meditation, yoga, peace

Find people that bring joy to your life. Don’t let anyone steal your happiness!

Questions or Comments:

The Only Happy Resources You Will Ever Need

We all want to be happy! Duh!!!!!

The real monkey wrench is most folks are not. Happy is some now-and-again thing. Smiling is a choice we get to make every waking moment of life. Happy, or sad it’s our decision.

A choice to be happy, yes I can hear so many screaming “I want to be happy you as@ but I can’t” because of this or that. YES, dear friends, you can make a choice to be happy in the middle of adversity! You only need some tools to draw from.

self help, happy, freedom

With a bit of reconditioning ourselves, we can learn to smile amid adversity. No, I am not saying you should say, “Oh boy, I just lost my relationship to a cheating so-and-so.” What I am suggesting is the response could be something more, “thank God; this person is out of my life to make room for someone right for me.”

How we internalize our pain will determine if we live depressed or we live with a free heart. Easier said than done, you say? Not if you recondition yourself for happiness. How you say?

Let’s see, this is in no particular order:

  1. Meditate daily. Learn to meditate to quiet your mind. Your practice will help you find inner peace. Armed with inner peace life’s trials and tribulations will roll off your back.
  2. A spiritual connection with your God, higher power, or whom you call God.
  3. Faith, unwavering faith that no matter how hard you get kicked in the gut. Standing up facing adversity with a power you find when you stay in faith. Knowing in your heart that even if you’re at the brink of destruction, God’s hand will reach in and pull you out. “Now, faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”– Hebrews 11:1
  4. Gratitude is the cornerstone of life. If you cannot find appreciation, you need a spiritual cleanse. We all can find recognition. If your children woke up this morning healthy, imagine the parents who’re children are fighting for their lives today. If you drove to work, imagine having to ride the bus today in the cold. See my point we all have something to be grateful for! Always!!!
  5. Prayer, make it a part of every day. First, don’t beg “please God just get me through this.” God knows what you need, go to him confess what you need to admit to him. Repent of your sins. Then thank him for the favor he shows in your life. “Thank you, God, for my healing favor” “Thank you, God, for my financial favor” ” Thank you, God, for my beautiful relationships.” Talk to God as you would a friend!
  6. Make time for you. This needs to be in the form of a walk outdoors. Get to a park, hiking trail, your neighborhood, just find a place that you can get outside. Why? Walking helps you relieve tension. Further, you can enjoy some fresh air, look around you, and experience nature. Get outside yourself, if only for a moment!

These are six things that if you immerse your life into the practice of, you can find happiness. When you learn to relax, let go physically with Yoga, walking, let go emotionally via meditation, prayer, then you can draw happiness at will.

Let go of the past. If you’re hanging onto the past, let that shi^ go! The rear-view mirror gives you a focused view backward. What that means to you, a constant look at the garbage that you need to leave at the dump. There is a reason the front window is significant, and the rear window is small. What’s ahead of you is FAR more important than what’s behind you!

No matter what your state-of-mind is today. Start! Begin the process of training your noodle to embrace happily. All it takes is retraining our mind to embrace happily. Start right now by throwing your shoulders back, putting a smile on your face and say, “today is my day!” Congratulations you took the first step, KEEP GOING!!!

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Secrets About Love the Government Is Hiding

“I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars.”–Og Mandino
This quote brings perspective to life, it’s all how you look at life, love, and happiness.

Have you failed in love, lost a relationship maybe even several. Has love eluded you as though it were some ultra-secret Government project? Romantic love, self-love, love of life, love, love, love!!!

passion, love, romance

Love sets our world on its axis. Love can bring us to the brink of total self-destruction. Yet we seek it with a passion an unwavering passion. Imagine bringing to bear this same passion in all aspects of our lives. Think about when love has involved the level of intensity and commitment you bring to it?

Romantic love brings out the very best, but it can bring out the very worst in people. Love blinds our judgment at times. Yet we continue to move towards the train tracks when everyone is screaming the train is coming. Will walk right out on those train tracks in pursuit of love.

When it comes to love, romantic love is often times where love begins and ends. Yet love should permeate our life experience in all we do. Love should guide our personal journey. Keep in the back of your mind reading this article the power of love. Think about your level of commitment to the pursuit of romantic love.

What seems to hide from most of us. Loving ourselves, loving the life we’ve carved out for ourselves. The passion with which we chisel out our experience. The masterpiece we hope it to be.

Of course, we love our family and children. When I talk about love or just about anything that has to do with life. Take the family out of the equation (not in the wrong way). Everyone loves their children, spouses with all their heart.

The real question is, do you love yourself as much as you like someone else? The same love you show for your child, do you give yourself that same level of devotion? If you don’t have a child, it can be a parent, spouse, or even a pet.

Do you love yourself with the same level that you like others?

The fact is being happy with yourself, bringing a glad you to this world. That’s where the real blessings begin. Where you find those hidden secrets to life that appear to be the most heavily guarded government secrets.

How do we find self-love, you ask?

  1. Spirituality. Get connected to God, the Universe, a higher power. Learn where your soul lives!
  2. Meditation, get connected with your conscious and sub-conscious mind. Learn to quiet the mind so you can receive.
  3. Breathe! Yep, I said it, learn to take breaks during your day to breathe. The power of this sixty-second time for you is immeasurable. It relaxes your mind and lets go of tension.
  4. Yoga. If you’ve never tried Yoga, then let me invite you for a fantastic surprise. Go try a few classes, you will get hooked!
  5. Make an investment in yourself. Video’s, books, classes, anything that uplifts your own spirit.

These five things are a great start. Learning to love yourself can be a daunting challenge. We’ve all done things in our lives that we wished we hadn’t. Guilt and self-loathing can rear their ugly heads to help us kick our own ass. It doesn’t have to be that way. Speaking from my personal experience here.

Here is my take on the past. If you are not doing the same things, you did in the past. Living your life in the right positive direction. It’s time to let yourself out of history and into your new life. It’s okay to love yourself, even with a past. Hell, we all have a past, if you’ve changed let it go.

Past indiscretions are not life sentences. Not doing the same things that were done in the past is your salvation to a new life. Let it go to God, never do it again, and you can have peace. This is a big one for me. If people in your life can’t see the change, you’ve made or want to hang on to the past. Don’t let that steal your joy.

If you have friends or family still holding onto your past. Not much you can do about that.

Loving ourselves begins with a first step. My challenge to you is to make the first step right now. Don’t think about it, start. Take one action today.

If you find this article useful, please think about buying me a cup of coffee, and thanks!

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