Anxiety & Stress Are They Stealing Your Joy

Anxiety and stress can have debilitating results. For years I suffered through stress, work-related, home, you name it, I could find a way to stress myself out!

Over the past couple of years now, some fantastic results have passed through my life. Yes, I still stress, but boy can control it been enhanced. I will share with you my daily routine and habits that help.

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First, let me say that if you’re struggling to get help from a licensed health care professional. What I am sharing with you are just daily habits that you can try to see if they help. By no means should you feel this is a cure-al?

Simple daily routine changes can help with stress & anxiety:

  1. Learn to quiet the mind. This is just a simple relaxation method that can help you with a clear mind. When the rhetoric in your head can slow down and quiet. Amazing results begin to appear.
  2. This can be a simple walk around your neighborhood. Or you can join a gym. Working out the tension in your body, getting stronger can help you not get so fatigued that your anxiety just increases.
  3. Take a moment often during the day to just breathe. Sixty seconds to breathe in through the nose and out through your mouth. Nice cleansing breaths.
  4. Regulate your soda, coffee, and high caffeine drinks. For most of us, we don’t need more help to get anxious.
  5. Take the time that’s just for you. Watch a sunrise by yourself. Sit by a creek. Do something that is just for you (retail therapy is a no-no. Credit card debt is a stressor). Go shoot baskets at the park, kick a ball, ride a bike.
  6. Stay connected with people that uplift you. Debbie-downer is not your friend. Choose wisely. Don’t hibernate.
  7. Set boundaries for people that bring stress into your experience. If someone can only talk about negative things. Cut them short (YES YOU CAN) politely excuse yourself from that situation “oh I totally forgot ______” hopefully that person gets a clue. You are not anyone’s sounding board for garbage.
  8. Home or office is a mess. Guess what? That is the state of your noodle. Clean up, organize, and enjoy the environment around you. People often tell me the disorganized desk in the office, “that’s just the way I am.” So, you’re a chaotic malfunctioning human, and we should all get over it? I regularly must organize myself, it’s a habit I highly recommend.
  9. Sit down and prioritize your life. I mean down to the last detail. If you tell me you’re a free spirit, you fly by the seat of your pants. Then I say super if you’re a well-adjusted, NORMAL functioning human being I will shut up. Otherwise, organize based on importance what you need to do every day. Reason being, if you have a real sense of accomplishment, wow, is that life-changing! Activity vs. Productivity learns the difference now!
  10. Patience and faith. If you can learn to allow life to unfold (yes you must do the work) knowing full well, you’ll be fine. Even when you can’t see a way, you believe with everything that is you, all will be well. Spiritual connectedness will indeed bring about peace in your life.
  11. Learn to be grateful right where you are. If you want more out of life, you must be thankful where you stand. If you want more from the Universe, why would that occur if you’re miserable where you are (NO, I am not suggesting you be grateful in a situation that is emotionally or physically harmful to you). However, if this is not the case and you’re simply aggravated at your lot in life. Be grateful you have a car that gets you to work, you have a job it may suck, but you have one, a roof over your head, food to eat, your health and clothes to wear.

You can find a million reasons to stay in the crap. I just gave you eleven reasons not too. What’s more, you can do each of these with just a little effort.

The real question now; “What are you prepared to do?” Until you make the decision to change your life, expect the same outcome.

No guarantee this will be easy. Nothing worth having is ever easy. I am going to let you in on a secret. For most of our lives, we’ve been taught to run away from pain. Sounds reasonable.

Ponder this:

When you first go to the gym and workout hard, what happens? Soreness from hell hits you. Can’t brush your teeth, can’t raise your arms high enough. You can quit or go back to the gym and work out a bit more until the soreness subsides.

Coaches will push you beyond your mental and physical breaking points. Why? Your head will quit far sooner than your body or mind can handle. Marathon runners are prime examples. “The wall” as marathon runners will tell you hits about the twenty-mile mark, and your brain says your body it’s time to stop. The physical pain that is causing damage to the point if you don’t stop, you could injure yourself or worse die.

Medical studies have proven this is all in your head. Runners are not hurt, injured, or dying. What is happening is our limiting beliefs take over, and it’s; fight-or-flight.

Before you give up, take one more step. If you took the step, then maybe we can go more. It’s all up to you. The ONLY PERSON ON THIS PLANET THAT CAN SAY YOU CAN OR CANNOT. IS YOU!

Don’t let anxiety and stress take your joy. If you need professional help go, get it. I am putting a resource to help you get started. This is not a paid endorsement, nor an endorsement by me. It’s just a great place to get started.

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National Institute for Mental Health

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Surviving Causes Us to Forget To Dream

When you’re focused on surviving, you will forget to dream. How can we turn that around? Are you ready to turn it around?

If so then read these few short bursts of wisdom that you can put into place right now. Those of you that read me know that “there is NO tomorrow, we have to get on it today.”

Survive mode is filled with fear, limiting beliefs, and of course, this stifles any progress. It’s way easier said than done to get from survival mode to actually have hope. Living paycheck-to-paycheck with one foot in ruin and the other on a banana peel.

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This is something I suffer through most of my adult life. How do we get past the oppression of our own minds?

Here are some quick things you can begin right now:

  1. Set reminders every day in your phone to alert you to stop and breathe. Take sixty seconds to relax and breathe. Breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth in a relaxed posture. 
  2. Take time daily to meditate. Learn to quiet your mind and focus on gratitude, hope, desires, and peace. Even if you cannot see any way to find any of these things in your own life. Just trust that it’s coming. The how is not essential the FAITH that it’s happening you have all that you desire. Do this, and the how will come! 
  3. Prayer is more powerful than anything else that you can try. Praying in faith that God has you! In my darkest moments, I just keep saying over-and-over “God has me, God has me.” This too is something that you may not see an answer, don’t look for it just recognize that whatever you pray for is coming to pass. 

When you do these few things consistently and with indeed an open heart. The HOW will find you. Don’t give in to “well, there is just no way this is ever going to work out.” Keep saying that and you’re right!

Lesson learned for me was to trust that God has control, and every month, what I need is provided. Somehow life works out, so I am okay. It may be a close shave, but somehow, everything I need at that moment is provided.

Making excuses over-and-over again solves nothing. If you have nothing, no hope, what the heck do you have to lose by just trying? You don’t have to believe 100% to work, the belief will come. Take a step move forward; life is waiting!

You can dream, you can have hope you can be happy! Begin by just saying to yourself, “I am not losing anymore.”

Three things to begin to break the bondage of life. You cannot give up, this is going to take work, crying, kicking, screaming, and praying! We’ve all been there, and no person is alone. Reach out.

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God Is Your Coach

My new book, God is Your Coach out in Paperback and available on Kindle.

Take a look at chapter one:

Chapter 1

The Title Fight

In this corner, wearing depression, despair, and no hope Me!

In the black corner wearing out my life, the enemy!

The enemy will work to keep you sufficiently depressed so that you won’t take steps towards a new life. The attack can come in many forms, depression, self-doubt, or just merely giving in that this won’t work. Hogwash!

Change comes at a price. We’ve all heard the adage; nothing in this life is free. Nothing worth having is free. A beautiful life is worth the price we will pay to enjoy. There is hope, and it will come. However, we do have to navigate some attacks on our life.

As change begins to take hold in our life, smiles on our face, a pep in our step and peace in our mind. Everything appears to be moving nicely. All the sudden the rug gets pulled out from under our feet and smash we go.

The first thing that comes to us is excellent “this doesn’t work.” I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! Precisely what the enemy wants you to believe. Loser, failure, and nothing you will try will work. All lies! Here is the rub, stay in faith. What??? I can hear you screaming. Will get to this further in the book, keep going.

Spiritual warfare for those of you new to a Christian life can disenchant most from staying with God. As humans, we tend to allow pain to numb our senses in a way that we accept a sort of mediocrity for our lives. Sad! How the enemy keeps us leashed — never allowing us to wander off too far.

You’re not too old, too weak, too young, or any other moniker you can place to defeat yourself. Are you not tired of kicking your ass? I know I was and that has prompted this book.

Beginning this process, you will come out swinging. Strong bold, and you feel that you can conquer the world. Then you take a shot to the gut that puts you right to the ground. Everything starts falling apart; all your work seems to be running down the drain.

Depression and self-doubt overtake your mind. Spiritual warfare has arrived. Keep in mind that trials and tribulations can take on any negative form. We’re using these analogies to set an expectation that whatever form attacks take they’re relentless.

Here are a couple of things you can do to help you with immediate changes in your state-of-mind:

  1. Take 60 seconds and breathe. Cleansing breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth. Breathing will relax tension.
  2. Get outside and walk to the end of the block. Walking will relieve tension. Focus on the beauty around you.
  3. If you can get to a quiet place to meditate, relax your mind. Good, contemplate music.
  4. You can almost immediately change your state of mind listening to music that moves you. Music is incredibly healing at the moment. Get your feet to move.

Changing your state-of-mind can bring peace. Everything is going to be okay; you have to get your head there. The preceding was temp solutions to get your head out of a dark place.

No matter the obstacles in your life, they’re all temporary. Think about some hard-times in your life. If you’re past them, something terrible that happened ten years ago, that at the time seemed devastating. You must see, you’re still here, everything is most likely calmer, settled and most importantly over. The monster is defeated.

This next part of the chapter is one of two articles I have written and included in this eBook that I think help bolster the message I want to get across in this eBook. Bits and pieces may be redundant, but I trust you will overlook that to receive the news.

When your feet hit the floor in the morning, let the Devil say, “Oh Shit He’s up!”

Our minds can exhaust us to the point we feel like we’ve been in a heavyweight title fight. Pardon the cliché, but you are sick and tired of being sick and tired. What I want to prepare you for is the title fight that is coming. The enemy will see a change in you for good. All the sudden, you went from being depressed to having hope.

Jesus paid for your sins on the cross. I am not going to pretend to be a theologian and quote scripture. What I did do is start attending a great Bible-based church. Began to study the word of God. You have protection from the enemy; you can yourself cast him out of your head (No you’re not Reagan McNeil from the Exorcist). God supplies all the tools you need. You must show up for work.

Part of your job will be to follow the path I am laying down. Find an excellent Bible-based Church. Not hard to find and you may need to attend a couple before you see one that you feel is home. You will need the tools, and foundation for Christ to win the fight to come.

The enemy will come at you hard. WHY, because he is afraid to lose you to the right side. He wants your soul; he wants you to fail! You have free will so that it will become a choice. I would cry so hard thinking God seems pissed at me for all the things I have done in my life and losing hope that God wanted nothing to do with me. NOT TRUE! Learning from the study, Church and the Bible God loves me. It is the enemy that has the hold on us, not God. Rest easy dear friends. It is good and evil in this world it took me a while to understand. Sharing this first thing will sound a bit scary. You will have a better understanding that the difficulties to come are manageable with the right tools. God says, “No weapon formed against me will prosper.” Remember you have all the promises the Bible says we have. You must start believing with unwavering faith. God wants you to think about it before you receive it. Try it; this is where I stumbled hard.

Friends would tell me that God will never give you more than you can handle. I hated hearing that. The problem is it’s true. You can’t fight for the heavyweight championship of the world without getting knocked on your backside a few times. You will find the strength just as I did. Even from the darkest depths of your mind, a path to peace is available for anyone who seeks order.

Women readers who are moms can relate to this. Labor pains are excruciating, but the result is the greatest joy of your life. Once you go through labor and deliver yourself from hell, you’ve created in your head. The sooner the greatest joy in your life will be at hand.

Remembering always that the enemy will fill your mind with doubt, fear, this will never work. What happens is when you believe you’ll quit. Then the enemy wins. The only loser in this fight is you. It may seem as though God is not listening to you. He is, I thought this so many times. I would scream at God in my vehicle “get in the game” why are you forsaking me. He is not; the devil is treacherous in your mind.

You will learn to live with your soul, not your head. The mind will never win over your destiny. What you can control is how quickly you see your future reveal itself. Frustration, hate, anger, despair will only cause you to delay your life moving forward. You must begin to see yourself happy, joyous, and free of pain. Don’t scream, “I can’t do it.” If you do, you’re right. None of this is easy to hear; I get that!

What I am telling you is if you get knocked down get up. Tell yourself NOT THIS TIME; I get to win this time. Get that loser mentality out of your head. It won’t come all at once. You must recondition your mind for good. If you have suffered for a long-time change won’t happen overnight.

The mind will fight you to the point of utter exhaustion during a marathon where you will hit the wall many times. Just like marathon runners, you convince yourself that it’s a mind trick; it’s not your reality. Reality is you already have, peace, love, and happiness. We as Christians must learn to accept it. You think acceptance would be easy, for most it’s not. Stay in faith even when you don’t seem to have confidence in anything. Tell God you don’t see a way, but you trust he will make a move!

One of the most important things I can tell you. Don’t help God, don’t impose your will on a situation that needs Gods hand not yours — for example, separated from your spouse. It’s a situation that you did not want, hit you out of the blue and you’re heartbroken. You call your spouse saying I promise I will change; I love you, please let’s work it out. That’s imposing your will. It’s not you are helping even though you think you’re fighting for your marriage. STOP!

If you want to trust God for a change in your life follow along in this book, I share what mistakes I made so you can have greater insight. You need to believe that God is handling the heart of both you and your spouse. You are jumping in does not help. Trust that if you give your marriage to God, asking him for his will be done. Someone asked me two questions:

Do you want a perfect, loving, happy marriage?

Do you want your spouse back with no change?

Relationships meant to be will be. Maybe, God is moving this person out of your life to make room for your deep down in your soul exact right person to appear when we let our destiny unfold naturally what a blessed life we will have.

It’s not always easy to see clearly during times of adversity. Remember we’re in a title fight for our life. The enemy will put horrible, terrible things in our head or before us. We can get betrayed; our life shattered into pieces.

How you get up and tell the enemy “that’s all you got” I have the power of God almighty who controls my life. A quote I love, “when your feet hit the floor in the morning, the Devil says oh shit he’s up. “Anything beats living a life of misery. It’s where I am at, and I pray you are too. Now is our time and “I ain’t going down no more”—Rocky Balboa

The fight will come hard, but if you keep reading, you will find the help you need to get up and fight even harder. The tools you will learn will make those fights fewer. Your spiritual armor will see you through.

Stay strong because God is getting ready to show out in your life in ways you could never have imagined. Your blessings are on the other side of this battle; what was meant for your harm God will bless your life in ways that only he can.

The stronger the attack, the bigger the blessing. Crazy, but when you get kicked right in the gut hard. When you walk trusting God, you know, he is getting you ready to show out in your life! The pain you may encounter along the way in strengthening your resolve. Helping you be able to face anything the enemy throws in your approach to disrupt your life.

Everything I am writing about what I have experienced. So, if you’re saying what does this guy know about my pain, he won’t understand what I’m going through in my life. It’s because I’ve lived it same as you.  I choose not to lose any more! Hope you come along!

Are you ready for some good news?

What if you could look at all this doom & gloom as coaching experience. That with a different perspective to life’s challenges you could get through with expectations of winning. You’re excited to face these challenges with a new open mind. You believe now that you will win no matter the obstacles.

Well, friends get ready for chapter two because you are about to learn how to WIN!

To purchase this book click the cover to visit Amazon:

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Quit, No Not Today

Get out of your head quitting is an option for anything other than bad habits. What this article will help with is not stopping the good stuff just because it seems too hard. It’s only hard because your brain is telling you that it is, just like it would when running a Marathon and you hit the wall.

Most of us know that Marathon runners hit what’s called “The Wall” where your brain starts telling you that “you can’t go more, you’re hurt,” “your body can’t take more.” When in fact studies show none of that to be true. Pushing through this is how you finish the race.

The brain will develop over years of conditioning run from the first sign of pain. Your mind will tell you “no, don’t do more,” this is futile. The natural response is to move you away from pain. When in fact it’s just like training. When you go to the gym for the first time and work out hard with that comes to suffering from not having worked out in a very long time.

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The soreness from working out hard can be extreme. The same principle applies to retrain the brain that you are okay. It will hurt, your mind will tell you that what you’re trying is impossible. It is not, nothing could be further from the truth.

Many times, throughout this last year, I have wanted to give up. I kept saying to God, “I’m not losing anymore.” Over-and-over again I would say those words. Frustrated, I kept moving forward even when I saw absolutely no reason to keep going when you dig in and maintain forward momentum.

Just like working out, the soreness goes away with time. It’s not easy, but it does get better, and you become wiser.

God is like a coach when you feel as though you can’t go on, keep moving. When you show God, you can handle where you are; the blessings will come in abundance. Just stay in faith that even though you cannot see a way, a way is being made!

Not being able to predict the future frustrates us all. Having faith when you cannot see what is ahead, or your brain is telling you disaster. For most, this is where they crumble. The difference in winning and losing can be just taking one more step.

If you get knocked down, get up! Look for ways to improvise, adapt, and overcome your situation. More than one way to finish anything! Just because you chose a wrong path does not mean you can’t find the right one. If you quit, you never will.

Fight or flight will always kick in when you need it not too. Fight, stay in the game, and work your way through.

Here are some activities you can do to help:

  • Learn to quiet your mind.
  • Take times during your day for sixty seconds to breathe.
  • Walk, get rid of stress and tension in your body. Make it easier to focus.
  • Listen to some music that gets you pumped up — changing your state-of-mind.
  • Listen to an uplifting Podcast.
  • Watch a video about motivation, success, self-improvement.
  • Your home’s appearance is in direct tune with your head. You have cluttered house cluttered mind clean the house! Same goes for your workspace.
  • Get to Church. Spiritual mind in tune. Life changing.

Running, sure you can choose the flight and give up. That’s a choice, not a directive.

Begin right now; do something that moves your life forward. Don’t make an excuse!

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Choice, Decide Already!

Choice

If I asked you to make a choice right now to be happy, but you’re suffering through a terrible divorce. Could you be satisfied just by making that choice? The short answer is yes! Before you hit the refund, button hears me out.

What stops you from choosing to be happy in a moment is you. I should say years of conditioning yourself that you can’t just simply change. Why can’t you? Should be the real question.

Let’s take our divorce scenario to a little higher level. If divorce is imminent even though you don’t want a divorce.

Two options:

Option A:

  • Stay bitter, sad, emotionally done, not having any thought as to a new future.

Option B:

  • “Choose” to be happy. Yes, the person whom your life revolved around is gone. The Universe, in its infinite wisdom, is taking you down a new path. Presuppose for a moment that this new life if given a chance, has more love, joy, happiness, and fulfillment than you ever thought possible.

If you choose to be happy, “Option B” certainly has more promise. The simple act of choosing one from another is incredibly powerful.

Over a year ago someone that I am proud to call a friend explained away my own pain from divorce like this: “If you could have your wife back today and go right back to the way things were, OR, you could have the relationship you never thought possible. Which would you choose?”

That’s when I knew that I had to make a choice for myself. If something in your life is meant to be, then it shall.

The real rub is that for years-and-years, we conditioned our minds towards limiting beliefs. We end up saying:

  • If I just change, she will come back.
  • If I learn to keep my mouth shut.
  • If I lose twenty pounds.

The problem is NOT you, it’s the paradigm that is so entrenched in your head you can’t shake it off. Using the divorce analogy just scrapes the surface of this problem. This book is not a “how to get over divorce” book. NO, far from it.

How to change limiting beliefs, the unknowing lies we tell ourselves every day. What our journey well reveals to us, we can make a choice and move on, NOW!

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Choice do you really want me to pick?

Yes, friends easier said than done. However, very doable. With some guided practice, you can learn to decide, stick with it, no regrets, and blaze a trail for others to follow. Pardon the cliché!

How do you we make these changes you ask? Training our minds to a new healthy reality. Who says you can’t do something; you need only look in the mirror? That’s who!

Part 1:

How many years have you heard phrases like?

  • You/I don’t have that kind of luck.
  • No education, you can’t do that.
  • You’re too fat.
  • You’re too skinny.
  • You’re not part of that social group.
  • Oh, honey, why don’t you lower your sights to something more realistic.

From as many years ago as you’re able to remember we’ve all heard the limiting phrases getting stuffed into our mind.

What is being communicated to you is, “If I can’t do you surely cannot.” By well-meaning parents, family, friends, and other well-wishers. So, if these lovely people are telling me this, it must be true. NO, not only NO; HELL NO!

The only person on this planet that knows whether YOU can do anything is YOU! It does not matter what your Mom, Dad, Grandmother, Friend, Boss, has to say about what you can do. The ONLY person that knows is your period!

People close to you will naturally want you to play it safe. None of us want to see a friend hurt. Who the heck says you must hurt? I’m not shouting at the top of my lungs “oh God, don’t write the first Novel you failed English literature.”

Again, I go back to the systematic brainwashing society shoves down our brain. How many folks have completed Marathons in wheelchairs or with lost limbs? Hundreds if not thousands. Why Choice! The choice NOT to allow something horrific to bring them down.

Mediocrity is a disease of the mind. It’s a cure; “Choice!”

Part 2:

How to break free, so Choice comes at will.

  1. Meditation / Prayer: see yourself through this practice as free of limitation. That my life, my choice to see it through as a vessel of the Universe. Not some, “I don’t have this or that mentality.”
  2. Put the affirmation “Choice” Refrigerator, bathroom mirror, reminders on your phone daily.
  3. Learn to believe in yourself. Take the training wheels off your life. When you feel you can’t do something learn to ask yourself; who said! With enough training and knowledge, you can bloody well do anything you want!
  4. Practice, Practice, Practice! Do not give up or in at the first sign of difficulty. This is something you must want as much as air. We’ve all heard the businessman who asked a guru “how do I become successful,” the Guru replied, “meet me at the beach at 6:00 AM and don’t be late.” The next morning the businessman is on time, and the Guru takes him out into the water up to there chest. The Guru grabs the man and holds his head down in the water until the man was in great distress. Lifting the man out of the water, the businessman screams, “Why did you do that?” The Guru calmly replies, “When you want success as-bad-as, you wanted to breathe, then you will find success!”
  5. Gain knowledge. The reason people quit is insufficient knowledge. If people aren’t saying to you, “Wow, I have no idea you could do that.” If the wow factor is not WOW, then gain more knowledge. Become a voracious reader.

Nothing on God’s good earth prevents you from achieving anything. If you set your mind to something, trust that God will give you the knowledge, and move the Universe into alignment for you. Believe that as much as you want to breathe (like our Guru analogy).

All it takes is a choice. Your choice to stay status quo or your choice to live a life most would only dream about.

“Infuse your life with action. Don’t wait for it to happen. Make it happen. Make your own future. Make your own hope. Make your own love. And whatever your beliefs, honor your creator, not by passively waiting for grace to come down from upon high, but by doing what you can to make grace happen… yourself, right now, right down here on Earth.”–Bradley Whitford

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