Tying it All Together

My latest book on Amazon. Tying it All Together

Don’t you sometimes wish that you could tie everything in your life together? Career, relationships, marriage, and parenting. That all these aspects of your life to harmoniously work. Instead, our lives get fragmented, one minute our job is on top of the world, the next we’re in divorce court. Nothing ever seems to run hitting on all eight cylinders running smooth. The trouble is one part of our life can crater with a trickle down in all other areas of our life.

Chapter 1

I can’t | I don’t have

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.”—Thomas A. Edison

First, we get out of our language anything to do with lack. The “I can’t” or “I don’t have” is not part of the English language of your new life.

Second, nay Sayers are just that. People who can’t do a thing themselves and naturally you can’t either if you listen to that bilge. What you’re now looking for are Mentors, people who uplift you.

Throughout history, people have done things that others said could not be done. Or invented products that folks needed. All the while, naysayers are “It can’t be done.” Horse hockey!

Limiting beliefs placed in our sub-conscious over years of saying I can’t. Also not limited to just that phrase. Years and years of self-defeating language has us convinced we cannot.

Dogpile on top of that, family, friends, managers, whomever, telling you that you don’t have what it takes, you don’t have the education, people who do that are gifted. What? You can teach yourself anything.

Okay, I give. You can’t teach yourself to be a brain surgeon. My point with this statement is I doubt you’re looking to become a brain surgeon, don’t overthink what your ability can or cannot achieve. Start, try, give it a shot, jump, swim, begin is the point!

So, in this chapter, we’re going to start replacing limiting language and thoughts. How you say, well I have an answer for that. Without this step in the process, later in the book, you will have more difficulty if you don’t make the changes now.

What do we have to change:

  1. Replace limiting thoughts with thoughts of okay how do I achieve this (the what is irrelevant at this point).
  2. Be aware of the language, the words that we use. I can’t, is NO longer a word in your mind’s dictionary. Don’t worry; I am going to share how to get rid of this stuff.
  3. Self-defeating actions. Self-sabotage, and worst of all, procrastination.

There is a lot more to the life changes than just the three I listed. You get a general idea.  As we move through chapters, we will cover a great deal more ground.

For many years we teach ourselves unknowingly that we can’t achieve certain things. Limiting beliefs are ingrained in our subconscious mind over the years. Taking time now to change this old habit and create new ones will take work and time.

What I have found that helps me declutter my mind so that I can see myself in a better state-of-mind, meditation. Learning to meditate can get you back in touch with your inner self.

Getting rid of limiting beliefs takes retraining our mind not once to say, “I can’t do that.”
“I don’t have what it takes to achieve this.” In your meditation practice, you begin to see yourself through your mind’s eye in the place you want to be — not just a physical place, but where you see yourself emotionally.

Our brain will tell us to run from something that raises our stress level. It’s like what Marathon runners experience when they hit what is called the wall. That point late in the race where the brain is saying you can’t make another step, stop, your mind is telling you that your legs are injured. Push past this without risk of injury to your body.

Studies that prove it’s the brain talking to you, not physical injury. Pushing through this emotional wall is possible.

This bond your brain has with flight will be hard to break. Meditation is a daily practice. It’s the best way I have found to quiet my mind so I can reprogram my thoughts for growth, not defeat.

Let’s cover a few points on how easy it is to begin to meditate before you start if you have a spouse or partner have them give you a brief shoulder neck massage before beginning your practice — the tension out of your body as much as possible.

“Everything that’s created comes out of silence. Your thoughts emerge from the nothingness of silence. Your words come out of this void. Your very essence emerged from emptiness. All creativity requires some stillness.”—Wayne Dyer

Let’s begin:

  1. Pick a time when you can have thirty minutes to an hour to yourself. With no interruption. My favorite place is my bedroom. I can either sit on the floor with my back to the bed or lay down (don’t fall asleep).
  2. Music playing, outdoor sounds, ocean, rain, can be calming and help you relax. It’s best if you can use headphones. You can find lots of cool stuff on YouTube® that’s commercial free. I find that with headphones, I can concentrate my mind more sharply.
  3. Take several deep cleansing breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth. Helps clear your body and ease tension.
  4. Then with the eye’s closed in a relaxed posture. Breathe. Follow your breathing with your mind, nice slow breaths filling your body with oxygen. It’s good to feel your belly as it moves up and down. Get a rhythm.
  5. Begin to relax your feet, move up your legs into your hips, and let your body go. Breath and relax all the tension out of your body. Just focus for a time on relaxing your body.
  6. As you relax feel yourself floating, imagine your light enough to float on clouds.
  7. When relaxed and breathing rhythmically. Begin to focus your minds-eye towards happiness. See yourself happy. That can take any form you like. Use your imagination to see yourself happy. What is something YOU love to do? What makes you the most comfortable. It could be from childhood or adulthood: no right or wrong way, just a happy place.
  8. Placing your mind there now begin to allow that emotion to fill your body. Feel it from the balls of your feet to the crown of your head. Feel happiness; fill your body. Allow yourself to be in this bliss. Stay as-long-as you like.
  9. As you begin to come out of your meditation, slowly allow your body to unwind, let go of any thought and be in the moment. Open your eye’s and smile.
  10. Begin this process tonight! What you will learn in this book is we act now, not tomorrow! Procrastination is not in our vocabulary anymore. Begin today, please, and thank you.

If you want to make it through times when you will hit the Marathon wall, and it’s like you just got hit by a Mack truck, you must train to overcome what we will have to face as you begin this process.

You will have challenges to be sure. Don’t worry; our emotional training starts here. You will find the strength. So exciting.

Years and years of Garbage is overflowing your mind. This book is a garbage truck.

The “I can’t” do this or that. Who says? 99% of the time you. How do you know if you’re not even willing to try? Saying this to yourself, I can’t is conditioned into your mind so profoundly that you believe whatever your head is telling you. Hard to imagine that we can lie to ourselves unknowingly. It’s packaged to a negative response you accept.

We’ve all heard the story of breaking the four-minute mile. Once achieved, then many athletes now can claim they can run four-minute miles.

“It always seems impossible until it’s done.”—Nelson Mandela 

Twenty years ago, if you would have asked anyone in my family, do you think Robert will write books years from now. They would have laughed until they peed their pants. Not even my friends would have believed this to be true.

Fear is also going to hold you back. We all fear failure. The difference between success and failure is people stop because they get scared. “I have a family I can’t risk failure!” Ask yourself if you have enough money to stand a year-long layoff (heaven forbid) if tomorrow your company said we’re cutting back?

We’re all a paycheck away from disaster most of our lives. So, don’t use this as an excuse.

What if I could show you a way to conquer fear enough to allow you to formulate a plan to save your life, strengthen your family, and will enable you to walk with peace-of-mind. Be great, wouldn’t it?

Okay, follow along.

Everything you’ve learned in life plays it safe; I am going to teach you how to play it smart.

Stop buying the sack of manure you sell yourself every day that you can’t. Get the I’m shy; I’m weak, I’m feeble, get that the hell out of your vocabulary.

How?

Every time you say I can’t, take a rubber band and pop the crap out of your arm.  However, take a moment to say that was the old me, the NEW ME CAN! I can be happy; I can be in shape, I can learn more, I can have a happy marriage, I can have great kids, I can, I can, I can!

If you screw up guess what you’re not alone. Acknowledge, you had a time of weakness but your back. Guess what you can make a mistake and get right back on track. Right now, I want you to stop and run a mile as fast as you can no walking. Could you do it! Probably not is my guess. Could you if you trained for a month or so? Sure.

You’re not going to overcome this the first time. You’re not going to change without practice. Set in your phone reminders that buzz, ding, ring, whatever. Tell yourself to smile, or be strong, put an affirmation as a reminder.

Put all the good in your noodle today that you can plunge into your brain. Guess what we do this over and over. Day after day!

Shy people hello. Man are we going to need to get outside our comfort zone. Fear not time to train. How can we overcome fear?

“People who ask confidently get more than those who are hesitant and uncertain. When you’ve figured out what you want to ask for, do it with certainty, boldness, and confidence. Don’t be shy or feel intimidated by the experience. You may face some unexpected criticism but be prepared for it with confidence.”—Jack Canfield

Here are some fun ideas:

  1. Find social meetups. Places that you can go to a book club, movie review club anywhere that you must socially interact with friendly people. Nice folks won’t eat you I promise.
  2. The best way to get outside yourself is to help someone in need. Can even be an animal shelter. Put yourself in situations where you can gain strength. Social interaction helping someone is a blessing beyond words. Single parents take your kids.
  3. Go to Yoga, meditation classes; take a cooking class.

Finding ways to strengthen our life resolve is just a matter of getting off our butt and doing it. I wish I could say something or give you a pill. My friends, we must work to achieve. Good news, it’s not hard, most of these costs no money.

Through your meditation practice, when you visualize yourself, see yourself healthy, assertive, and happy. Show your subconscious what you want it will manifest for you. Take this to prayer, let God know you no longer say I can’t, or I don’t have.

God will supply abundance in all areas of your life. Keep in mind this is not about starting a business, jobs, or material things. Yes, it’s a part of if you want it to be. This book is teaching you how to have an all-encompassing life. Mind, Body, Soul.

When you find yourself in a difficult situation, go to God in prayer, let him know that you need help, what I do when times in my head get dark. I say, “God has me” over and over. Eventually, I get calm.

In times of stress, let God know you’re not losing anymore. Power your way through. Even if you see no hope at all, hold onto hope with blind faith. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Talking later in the book, we will do an entire chapter on Resources vs. Resourcefulness. When you can master how to be resourceful the I can’t, and I don’t will go straight out the window. Also, strengthen your ability to fend off fear.

Fear manifests when you don’t have a solution. Then your mind starts to say “oh boy we’re going to crash” and away your head goes, and down you go. Think about being able to on command say “I have an app for that” metaphorically speaking.

You can know in your heart that today; an answer does not exist. Give me some time to sort this out and away you go. Having that knowledge to, in a sense, trick your mind into saying “we got this” will give you the inner strength to overcome any obstacle.

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Quit, No Not Today

Get out of your head quitting is an option for anything other than bad habits. What this article will help with is not stopping the good stuff just because it seems too hard. It’s only hard because your brain is telling you that it is, just like it would when running a Marathon and you hit the wall.

Most of us know that Marathon runners hit what’s called “The Wall” where your brain starts telling you that “you can’t go more, you’re hurt,” “your body can’t take more.” When in fact studies show none of that to be true. Pushing through this is how you finish the race.

The brain will develop over years of conditioning run from the first sign of pain. Your mind will tell you “no, don’t do more,” this is futile. The natural response is to move you away from pain. When in fact it’s just like training. When you go to the gym for the first time and work out hard with that comes to suffering from not having worked out in a very long time.

God, hope, prayer

The soreness from working out hard can be extreme. The same principle applies to retrain the brain that you are okay. It will hurt, your mind will tell you that what you’re trying is impossible. It is not, nothing could be further from the truth.

Many times, throughout this last year, I have wanted to give up. I kept saying to God, “I’m not losing anymore.” Over-and-over again I would say those words. Frustrated, I kept moving forward even when I saw absolutely no reason to keep going when you dig in and maintain forward momentum.

Just like working out, the soreness goes away with time. It’s not easy, but it does get better, and you become wiser.

God is like a coach when you feel as though you can’t go on, keep moving. When you show God, you can handle where you are; the blessings will come in abundance. Just stay in faith that even though you cannot see a way, a way is being made!

Not being able to predict the future frustrates us all. Having faith when you cannot see what is ahead, or your brain is telling you disaster. For most, this is where they crumble. The difference in winning and losing can be just taking one more step.

If you get knocked down, get up! Look for ways to improvise, adapt, and overcome your situation. More than one way to finish anything! Just because you chose a wrong path does not mean you can’t find the right one. If you quit, you never will.

Fight or flight will always kick in when you need it not too. Fight, stay in the game, and work your way through.

Here are some activities you can do to help:

  • Learn to quiet your mind.
  • Take times during your day for sixty seconds to breathe.
  • Walk, get rid of stress and tension in your body. Make it easier to focus.
  • Listen to some music that gets you pumped up — changing your state-of-mind.
  • Listen to an uplifting Podcast.
  • Watch a video about motivation, success, self-improvement.
  • Your home’s appearance is in direct tune with your head. You have cluttered house cluttered mind clean the house! Same goes for your workspace.
  • Get to Church. Spiritual mind in tune. Life changing.

Running, sure you can choose the flight and give up. That’s a choice, not a directive.

Begin right now; do something that moves your life forward. Don’t make an excuse!

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Train Until You are Stress Proof

When ill-prepared to do anything, this creates undue stress does not matter the task. It’s natural to have tension when you feel nervous about a task at hand. Having knowledge gives you power. Hence, train until your stress proof.

So many just give up long before they should. A top reason is folks get uncomfortable because they don’t want to appear for lack of a better word stupid. None of us want to look silly in front of our peers.

society, self improvement, self help

Most of us have experienced this in our lifetime. When beginning a new change, task, or any change for that matter. Put training, educations towards that task before perhaps announcing “hey, I’m doing such-n-such!”

Here are a few tips on training:

  1. Set time each day for training one of the three; Mind, Body, and Soul.
  2. Train until what you desire comes to you flowing like a river. 
  3. Become a voracious reader. Knowledge is true power! 

These easy tasks will help you strengthen your stress tolerance.

Don’t only give up. Evaluate your plan:

  1. Do I have sufficient knowledge?
  2. Am I truly prepared? 
  3. What is scaring me?

When you can identify what’s wrong, fixing that becomes easy. Don’t sell yourself short! Sometimes, the slightest of change in your trajectory will move you right back on task. Making a big deal that potentially is nothing is a snap judgment. Get that type of reaction out of your head.

The way to change, happiness, success, love, joy, you must be prepared. You must understand your desire completely. Then and only then, when you’re absolutely clear, the flood gates of life open!

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What Happens if I Get Up at 4AM?

Now we must retrain ourselves. Mind, Body & Soul.

“I hated every minute of training, but I said, ‘Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion,”—Muhammed Ali

Years and years of garbage, we’ve fed our brains, and for many of us our bodies. Let’s clean up both. We can all do better in mind, body, and spirit.

Schedule time for mind, body, and soul. Let’s learn how:

  1. Let’s start with our body. Without stamina, you will peter out before you finish a full day. 4:00 AM lets begin with cardio. Give yourself one hour to take care of your body. Walk, ride a bike, treadmill, jumping jacks, just do it.
  2. 5:00 AM lets feed our body. Nourish the body temple with foods that truly feed your body. While we’re eating, listen to motivation, listen to something that fills your mind with knowledge. Find a Podcast, listen to a video, read while in the kitchen. Fill the mind and body with energy food.
  3. 6:00 AM, it’s time to feed the soul. Meditate, visualize, get on your knees and find God. Find your spiritual self. You have not because you ask not. Up your ask and God will up his give.

Now imagine where you will be Mind, Body, and soul after one year 365 hours focused on each of the three purposes to create the world-class you.

prayer, hope, love

You can lay in bed, believing the bullshit story you’ve sold yourself most of your life. This is too hard; I can’t do it. Keep that opinion and your right. This is your wake-up call. Set the damn clock and take your life back, the enemy will convince you that you’re nothing, I’ve tried everything, If you bloody tried everything you would be living the life you want, not the bullshit life you accept.

Learn with me to manage your mind. Getting up at 4:00 AM, really you can’t get up that early, who the hell put that in your head, YOU. Get up.

The rest of the day focus your time with actionable tasks that produce a result. If working on anything that does not create a measurable outcome is a waste of time. Social media being your number one waste of time. Unless engagement with customers, fans, are the subject of your social media time. You’re wasting valuable time.

Let’s take a social media look. If your accounts are ways you engage customers or fans, then set daily times for this activity.

When you get to work, have a day filled with times that you perform set tasks. Doing the best, you can to stay on task during the day. If you get distracted, come back to where you left off.

What I use to track my day (this is no endorsement, it’s just what I choose to use). Two apps I have on my phone is Google® Tasks and Google® Calendar. The reason I use them is they’re free, and they work in unison. They also alert me when it’s time to change and move on. It also allows me to set up recurring activities to plan. Saves time.

Whatever calendar and task manager you choose to use. Use it. Even schedule downtime, take breaks to recharge.

If you track your day, focus time for activities and you don’t allow distractions for that time. If you don’t find twenty hours in your week that you gain. Something is wrong. When we honestly track our time, hold ourselves strictly accountable for time. You will find you have time in your day to do more!

Get your ass up or stay where you are. It’s your choice. Only you can begin this.

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Self Image Love Yourself, Happy, Joy, Freedom, Success

“A strong, positive self-image is the best possible preparation for success.”–Joyce Brothers

If you cannot lovingly see you, how can you expect others too? Might have heard that once or twice in your life, ya think!

Learning to nurture and love ourselves is the cornerstone of achieving real success. I’m not taking money success. Sadly most equate success = money. If you’re a successful parent that has no financial value. The value is not measurable, having success with phylogenetic relationships.

self love, happy, life

Learning to have a positive self-image takes work like any other relationship. Taking care of your body, your mind, and soul. Without it, we tend to drift lost. Take time daily to care for yourself. Learn to smile at yourself in the mirror every morning.

Five Quick changes you can do now:

  1. Take care of your body. You don’t have to be a gym regular, but do something every day to keep your body active. Walk!
  2. Take care of your soul. Meditate, pray, and give time for spiritual enrichment.
  3. Broaden your mind. Make an investment in your knowledge. Read a book.
  4. Get toxic people out of your life.
  5. Train your mind to affirm positive thoughts in your account.

If you’re going to gain real success in every aspect of your life. Number 1 love yourself!

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