Choice, Decide Already!

Choice

If I asked you to make a choice right now to be happy, but you’re suffering through a terrible divorce. Could you be satisfied just by making that choice? The short answer is yes! Before you hit the refund, button hears me out.

What stops you from choosing to be happy in a moment is you. I should say years of conditioning yourself that you can’t just simply change. Why can’t you? Should be the real question.

Let’s take our divorce scenario to a little higher level. If divorce is imminent even though you don’t want a divorce.

Two options:

Option A:

  • Stay bitter, sad, emotionally done, not having any thought as to a new future.

Option B:

  • “Choose” to be happy. Yes, the person whom your life revolved around is gone. The Universe, in its infinite wisdom, is taking you down a new path. Presuppose for a moment that this new life if given a chance, has more love, joy, happiness, and fulfillment than you ever thought possible.

If you choose to be happy, “Option B” certainly has more promise. The simple act of choosing one from another is incredibly powerful.

Over a year ago someone that I am proud to call a friend explained away my own pain from divorce like this: “If you could have your wife back today and go right back to the way things were, OR, you could have the relationship you never thought possible. Which would you choose?”

That’s when I knew that I had to make a choice for myself. If something in your life is meant to be, then it shall.

The real rub is that for years-and-years, we conditioned our minds towards limiting beliefs. We end up saying:

  • If I just change, she will come back.
  • If I learn to keep my mouth shut.
  • If I lose twenty pounds.

The problem is NOT you, it’s the paradigm that is so entrenched in your head you can’t shake it off. Using the divorce analogy just scrapes the surface of this problem. This book is not a “how to get over divorce” book. NO, far from it.

How to change limiting beliefs, the unknowing lies we tell ourselves every day. What our journey well reveals to us, we can make a choice and move on, NOW!

Prayer, self improvement, society
Choice do you really want me to pick?

Yes, friends easier said than done. However, very doable. With some guided practice, you can learn to decide, stick with it, no regrets, and blaze a trail for others to follow. Pardon the cliché!

How do you we make these changes you ask? Training our minds to a new healthy reality. Who says you can’t do something; you need only look in the mirror? That’s who!

Part 1:

How many years have you heard phrases like?

  • You/I don’t have that kind of luck.
  • No education, you can’t do that.
  • You’re too fat.
  • You’re too skinny.
  • You’re not part of that social group.
  • Oh, honey, why don’t you lower your sights to something more realistic.

From as many years ago as you’re able to remember we’ve all heard the limiting phrases getting stuffed into our mind.

What is being communicated to you is, “If I can’t do you surely cannot.” By well-meaning parents, family, friends, and other well-wishers. So, if these lovely people are telling me this, it must be true. NO, not only NO; HELL NO!

The only person on this planet that knows whether YOU can do anything is YOU! It does not matter what your Mom, Dad, Grandmother, Friend, Boss, has to say about what you can do. The ONLY person that knows is your period!

People close to you will naturally want you to play it safe. None of us want to see a friend hurt. Who the heck says you must hurt? I’m not shouting at the top of my lungs “oh God, don’t write the first Novel you failed English literature.”

Again, I go back to the systematic brainwashing society shoves down our brain. How many folks have completed Marathons in wheelchairs or with lost limbs? Hundreds if not thousands. Why Choice! The choice NOT to allow something horrific to bring them down.

Mediocrity is a disease of the mind. It’s a cure; “Choice!”

Part 2:

How to break free, so Choice comes at will.

  1. Meditation / Prayer: see yourself through this practice as free of limitation. That my life, my choice to see it through as a vessel of the Universe. Not some, “I don’t have this or that mentality.”
  2. Put the affirmation “Choice” Refrigerator, bathroom mirror, reminders on your phone daily.
  3. Learn to believe in yourself. Take the training wheels off your life. When you feel you can’t do something learn to ask yourself; who said! With enough training and knowledge, you can bloody well do anything you want!
  4. Practice, Practice, Practice! Do not give up or in at the first sign of difficulty. This is something you must want as much as air. We’ve all heard the businessman who asked a guru “how do I become successful,” the Guru replied, “meet me at the beach at 6:00 AM and don’t be late.” The next morning the businessman is on time, and the Guru takes him out into the water up to there chest. The Guru grabs the man and holds his head down in the water until the man was in great distress. Lifting the man out of the water, the businessman screams, “Why did you do that?” The Guru calmly replies, “When you want success as-bad-as, you wanted to breathe, then you will find success!”
  5. Gain knowledge. The reason people quit is insufficient knowledge. If people aren’t saying to you, “Wow, I have no idea you could do that.” If the wow factor is not WOW, then gain more knowledge. Become a voracious reader.

Nothing on God’s good earth prevents you from achieving anything. If you set your mind to something, trust that God will give you the knowledge, and move the Universe into alignment for you. Believe that as much as you want to breathe (like our Guru analogy).

All it takes is a choice. Your choice to stay status quo or your choice to live a life most would only dream about.

“Infuse your life with action. Don’t wait for it to happen. Make it happen. Make your own future. Make your own hope. Make your own love. And whatever your beliefs, honor your creator, not by passively waiting for grace to come down from upon high, but by doing what you can to make grace happen… yourself, right now, right down here on Earth.”–Bradley Whitford

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Train Until You are Stress Proof

When ill-prepared to do anything, this creates undue stress does not matter the task. It’s natural to have tension when you feel nervous about a task at hand. Having knowledge gives you power. Hence, train until your stress-proof.

So many just give up long before they should. A top reason is folks get uncomfortable because they don’t want to appear for lack of a better word stupid. None of us want to look silly in front of our peers.

society, self improvement, self help

Most of us have experienced this in our lifetime. When beginning a new change, task, or any change for that matter. Put training, educations towards that task before perhaps announcing “hey, I’m doing such-n-such!”

Here are a few tips on training:

  1. Set time each day for training one of the three; Mind, Body, and Soul.
  2. Train until what you desire comes to you flowing like a river. 
  3. Become a voracious reader. Knowledge is true power! 

These easy tasks will help you strengthen your stress tolerance.

Don’t only give up. Evaluate your plan:

  1. Do I have sufficient knowledge?
  2. Am I truly prepared? 
  3. What is scaring me?

When you can identify what’s wrong, fixing that becomes easy. Don’t sell yourself short! Sometimes, the slightest of change in your trajectory will move you right back on task. Making a big deal that potentially is nothing is a snap judgment. Get that type of reaction out of your head.

The way to change, happiness, success, love, joy, you must be prepared. You must understand your desire completely. Then and only then, when you’re absolutely clear, the flood gates of life open!

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Tying it All Together, Sneak Peek

This is a little sneak peek from the new book I am working on Tying it All Together. So many books out there that fix this or that. As part of the Life Research Project, we begin to pull all of my books into one. 

What was always lacking for me in self-improvement was solving a little piece of the puzzle when I needed a complete life change, total immersion. 

Enjoy this from a current book project Tying it All Together.

self improvement, self help, life

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.”—Thomas A. Edison

First, we get out of our language anything to do with lack. The “I can’t” or “I don’t have” is not part of the English language of your new life.

Second, nay Sayers are just that. People who can’t do a thing themselves and naturally you can’t either if you listen to that bilge. What you’re now looking for are Mentors, people who uplift you.

Throughout history, people have done things that others said could not be done. Or invented things that folks need. All the while, naysayers are “It can’t be done.” Horse hockey!

Limiting beliefs are placed in our sub-conscious over years of saying I can’t. This is also not limited to just that phrase. Years and years of self-defeating language has us convinced we cannot.

Dogpile on top of that, family, friends, managers, whomever, telling you that you don’t have what it takes, you don’t have the education, people who do that are gifted. What? You can teach yourself anything.

Okay, I give. You can’t teach yourself to be a brain surgeon. My point with this statement is I doubt you’re looking to become a brain surgeon, don’t overthink what your ability can or cannot achieve. Start, try, give it a shot, jump, swim, just begin is the point!

So, in this chapter, we’re going to start replacing limiting language and thoughts. How you say, well I have an answer for that. Without this step in the process, later in the book, you will have more difficulty if you don’t make the changes now.

What do we have to change:

  1. Replace limiting thoughts with thoughts of okay how do I achieve this (the what is irrelevant at this point).
  2. Be aware of the language, the words that we use. I can’t, is NO longer a word in your mind’s dictionary. Don’t worry; I am going to share how to get rid of this stuff.
  3. Self-defeating actions. Self-sabotage, and worst of all, procrastination.

There is a lot more to the life changes than just the three I listed. You get a general idea.  As we move through chapters, we will cover a great deal more ground.

For many years we teach ourselves unknowingly that we can’t achieve certain things. Limiting beliefs are ingrained in our subconscious mind over the years. Taking time now to change this old habit and create new ones will take work and time.

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Investment in Your Own Success vs. Sacrifice

The buzzwords “what sacrifice are you willing to pay?” Is your life of happiness, joy, abundance really a sacrifice? 

Throw the word sacrifice out the window and replace it with; Investment in my own success!

After thinking about this a lot. What I have come to learn is I am not making any sacrifice in my life. To some degree in my life, I have since you hear over-and-over again. Sacrifice, what you are prepared to do? What I am sure of is I am ready to make an investment in my own success.

joy, happiness, success

Some of you will be saying the sacrifice I have to make is time. I am going to have to work night & day to complete my dreams. Work weekends, never having a life. Horse Manure!

Making an investment in your own success also includes time. For those of you that say I don’t have time, I suppose you don’t understand how to manage time properly. Don’t scream! Here me out.

Activity vs. Productivity
You can be busy as hell all day long. What did you accomplish? Learn to fill your day with productivity. Organize is the key! 

When you can learn the difference between these to words, time will begin to heal itself. Here are some examples that will help you get started:

  1. Plan your day down to the hour. Have set activities from hour-to-hour that net a result. Tasks.
  2. Learn to limit social media to downtimes NOT during activity hours. Seeing what your sister is making her kids for dinner can wait. Social media is the biggest killer of productive time.
  3. During productive hours shut off the world for a bit to focus. Setting boundaries for idle chitchat is okay. Let friends and family know you will be off the air from this time to that. Emergencies are obviously the exception to the rule. “Mom, can I have $20 to go to the mall can wait for an hour.”

Fill your day with productive time, not wasted time. The three items above give you the idea.

If you feel like you have to give up something to be successful, you need to rethink your plan. For many, it’s time with family. Dedicate times for date nights, time with children, school functions, and kids firsts. Organize your time. Calendar in your day!

calendar, organize, details

Typically, when you organize your day. Take out distractions best you can. Finding twenty hours a week in wasted time is an average.

When you work this out, you can have time for family, social, and activities outside your career. Making an investment in your life includes family. Make times to be present for spouse and children.

You will be more productive when you organize your life out to include growth. Which leads me to something many are doing, and I just began.

Begin your day at 4:00 A.M. 

Before you scream, hear me out! 

Most folks get up between 6 am, and 7 am to get ready for work. So let’s assume for a minute you get up and six. You have the same 24 hours that we all get. Break this down:

24 hrs. – 8 hr work day = 16 hr left – 2 hr commute = 14 hr left – 6 hr to sleep = 8 hr. 

You have Eight odd hours to fit in time for family, and investments in your own success. This can fluctuate a bit from day-to-day, but overall, this is how hours in a day can break down.

You cannot become successful without organizing each day. Activity is just that activity which produces nothing typically. Productivity produces purpose and results.

When faced with the dilemma that you’re sacrificing things in life, that’s really no life at all. I am not suggesting that sometime you may have to make a tough choice. What I am saying for sure that that will always be the exception NOT the rule.

Organize down so the contingency has a contingency. Have the discipline to follow your daily tasks to the letter. Try to never leave a task for tomorrow. If you have to make sure to knock it out first thing, before starting your routine when possible.

Change does take time and you will have setbacks. Just keep grinding forward. Even when you see NO way, believe me, a way will be made if you stay in faith.

What investment in your own success will you make today?

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Plan B Hell NO!

There is NO plan B! If you want to succeed throw plan b the hell out the window. Plan B puts doubt in your head. Meaning you have an out if what I am doing now fails.

Burn The Ship was born from an idea that originated in 1519. That year, Hernán Cortés set sail to Veracruz, Mexico with his crew. … As legend has it, Cortez had the men burn their ships, leaving no option but to press on! Their ability to retreat to their previous way of life was gone; their safety net had been removed.

Exit strategy no, have your plan that includes income to take care of your family. If you have a family when you jump, make sure you have income sufficient to support your family. When I say no plan b, I also mean don’t be stupid. Have your plan so well thought out, you have all your contingencies covered.

God, Spiritual, Prayer

Failing shows the path NOT to travel. You back up and go a new way. Fail, back up to a new direction until you find the way! Learn to be comfortable in your pain. Pain shows us where not to be, but points us in a new direction if you find comfort in your pain. You don’t break! You improvise.

“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me.”–Erma Bombeck

Burn the damn boats. Either believe or don’t. It’s that simple. If you don’t wholly believe in your dream, rethink your vision.

Work your ass off. Want to fail? Buy into the BS you can succeed in thirty days. Plenty of bullshit programs on late night TV to sell you garbage dreams. You need to get a vision that allows for failure with NO plan b. Burn the boats. Improvise, adapt and overcome.

Learn that what you put in is what you get out. Be honest with yourself that if you’re not getting what you want, YOU can change that outcome. There is no plan b, there is today, don’t worry for tomorrow kick ass today so you can have a tomorrow.

We can stay the person we are today, or we can burn the damn boats and make a life.  

“A life that in the end God even says wow dude if I were going to live a life I would come back as you.”–Robert Bruton 

What to learn before you throw plan-b out:

  1. Activity vs. Productivity, learn the difference!
  2. Resources vs. Resourcefulness.
  3. Failure, delays, obstacles, on the other side, is your success.
  4. Unwavering faith!
  5. Visualize, see yourself already having achieved your goal.
  6. Gratitude, be grateful where you are now and grateful for what is coming.

Learn to master these few things, and you will rocket ship your success.

Now go out there and find your new life!

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