Tying it All Together, Sneak Peek

This is a little sneak peek from the new book I am working on Tying it All Together. So many books out there that fix this or that. As part of the Life Research Project, we begin to pull all of my books into one. 

What was always lacking for me in self-improvement was solving a little piece of the puzzle when I needed a complete life change, total immersion. 

Enjoy this from a current book project Tying it All Together.

self improvement, self help, life

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.”—Thomas A. Edison

First, we get out of our language anything to do with lack. The “I can’t” or “I don’t have” is not part of the English language of your new life.

Second, nay Sayers are just that. People who can’t do a thing themselves and naturally you can’t either if you listen to that bilge. What you’re now looking for are Mentors, people who uplift you.

Throughout history, people have done things that others said could not be done. Or invented things that folks need. All the while, naysayers are “It can’t be done.” Horse hockey!

Limiting beliefs are placed in our sub-conscious over years of saying I can’t. This is also not limited to just that phrase. Years and years of self-defeating language has us convinced we cannot.

Dogpile on top of that, family, friends, managers, whomever, telling you that you don’t have what it takes, you don’t have the education, people who do that are gifted. What? You can teach yourself anything.

Okay, I give. You can’t teach yourself to be a brain surgeon. My point with this statement is I doubt you’re looking to become a brain surgeon, don’t overthink what your ability can or cannot achieve. Start, try, give it a shot, jump, swim, just begin is the point!

So, in this chapter, we’re going to start replacing limiting language and thoughts. How you say, well I have an answer for that. Without this step in the process, later in the book, you will have more difficulty if you don’t make the changes now.

What do we have to change:

  1. Replace limiting thoughts with thoughts of okay how do I achieve this (the what is irrelevant at this point).
  2. Be aware of the language, the words that we use. I can’t, is NO longer a word in your mind’s dictionary. Don’t worry; I am going to share how to get rid of this stuff.
  3. Self-defeating actions. Self-sabotage, and worst of all, procrastination.

There is a lot more to the life changes than just the three I listed. You get a general idea.  As we move through chapters, we will cover a great deal more ground.

For many years we teach ourselves unknowingly that we can’t achieve certain things. Limiting beliefs are ingrained in our subconscious mind over the years. Taking time now to change this old habit and create new ones will take work and time.

Comments or questions:

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Don’t Let Anyone Steal Your Joy

“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.”

This quote has been attributed to Sigmund Freud, William Gibson and a host of others. I found it both straight to the point and funny. Whoever can take credit for it!

We all learn to keep certain people at arm’s length, or we allow them into our experience. Taking care to protect our emotions.

Learn to not allow toxic people to steal your joy. If needed these folks may need to exit your life if you deal with issues concerning them. You don’t have to allow that, ever!

self help, confidence, friends

Sometimes we have to move on from relationships to make room for the new. Changing seasons in our life will bring new friends, mentors and essential people that God sees fit to move into our life experience. Be open!

Embrace those that lift you up, challenge your status quo. Lots of people are searching for the same quality of life you are. I find great people at Church that follow a path of happiness.

meditation, yoga, peace

Find people that bring joy to your life. Don’t let anyone steal your happiness!

Questions or Comments:

Secrets About Love the Government Is Hiding

“I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars.”–Og Mandino
This quote brings perspective to life, it’s all how you look at life, love, and happiness.

Have you failed in love, lost a relationship maybe even several. Has love eluded you as though it were some ultra-secret Government project? Romantic love, self-love, love of life, love, love, love!!!

passion, love, romance

Love sets our world on its axis. Love can bring us to the brink of total self-destruction. Yet we seek it with a passion an unwavering passion. Imagine bringing to bear this same passion in all aspects of our lives. Think about when love has involved the level of intensity and commitment you bring to it?

Romantic love brings out the very best, but it can bring out the very worst in people. Love blinds our judgment at times. Yet we continue to move towards the train tracks when everyone is screaming the train is coming. Will walk right out on those train tracks in pursuit of love.

When it comes to love, romantic love is often times where love begins and ends. Yet love should permeate our life experience in all we do. Love should guide our personal journey. Keep in the back of your mind reading this article the power of love. Think about your level of commitment to the pursuit of romantic love.

What seems to hide from most of us. Loving ourselves, loving the life we’ve carved out for ourselves. The passion with which we chisel out our experience. The masterpiece we hope it to be.

Of course, we love our family and children. When I talk about love or just about anything that has to do with life. Take the family out of the equation (not in the wrong way). Everyone loves their children, spouses with all their heart.

The real question is, do you love yourself as much as you like someone else? The same love you show for your child, do you give yourself that same level of devotion? If you don’t have a child, it can be a parent, spouse or even a pet.

Do you love yourself with the same level that you like others?

The fact is being happy with yourself, bringing a glad you to this world. That’s where the real blessings begin. Where you find those hidden secrets to life that appear to be the most heavily guarded government secrets.

How do we find self-love you ask?

  1. Spirituality. Get connected to God, the Universe, a higher power. Learn where your soul lives!
  2. Meditation, get connected with your conscious and sub-conscious mind. Learn to quiet the mind so you can receive.
  3. Breathe! Yep, I said it, learn to take breaks during your day to breathe. The power of this sixty-second time for you is immeasurable. It relaxes your mind and lets go of tension.
  4. Yoga. If you’ve never tried Yoga, then let me invite you for a fantastic surprise. Go try a few classes, you will get hooked!
  5. Make an investment in yourself. Video’s, books, classes, anything that uplifts your own spirit.

These five things are a great start. Learning to love yourself can be a daunting challenge. We’ve all done things in our lives that we wished we hadn’t. Guilt and self-loathing can rear their ugly heads to help us kick our own ass. It doesn’t have to be that way. Speaking from my personal experience here.

Here is my take on the past. If you are not doing the same things, you did in the past. Living your life in a good positive direction. It’s time to let yourself out of history and into your new life. It’s okay to love yourself, even with a past. Hell, we all have a past, if you’ve changed let it go.

Past indiscretions are not life sentences. Not doing the same things that were done in the past is your salvation to a new life. Let it go to God, never do it again, and you can have peace. This is a big one for me. If people in your life can’t see the change, you’ve made or want to hang on to the past. Don’t let that steal your joy.

If you have friends or family still holding onto your past. Not much you can do about that.

Loving ourselves begins with a first step. My challenge to you is to make the first step right now. Don’t think about it, start. Take one action today.

If you find this article useful, please think about buying me a cup of coffee, and thanks!

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self love,happiness,peace

Connect with Family

“Cherish your human connections – your relationships with friends and family.”–Barbara Bush

With the hustle and bustle of life, we can stray from family. I intend this week to reach out to the family. If you’ve let life overrun you, then slow down this week and make a phone call, make a surprise visit, just connect!

love, family, laughter

 

Setting Boundaries

When you examine how your life is working day-to-day. It’s essential to think about what is adding stress to your life. Could it be fixed by merely setting boundaries?

The answer to that is yes!

self help, happy, relationship

It’s okay to set boundaries in relationships, with children little or grown. When we set expectations for what is acceptable in our lives and what is not, it’s incredible how much easier life becomes.

Work can also be a place where clear boundaries need to be set.

This change, however, most likely won’t come without some resistance. Here is a checklist to help with that conversation:

  • Set clear and easy to understand boundaries. If you need to write them out, do so. Just make sure that whoever is on the receiving end understands clearly.
  • Over a reason why you need this boundary. Explain the stress that it brings.
  • Don’t get upset if it takes a bit of time for the behavior to change.
  • Let the person know you’re not mad, it’s just bringing undue stress into your life.

With just a little conversation we can set the stage for acceptable behavior.

If you struggle setting boundaries for family, friends or coworkers. Take time to write out your thoughts on how this relationship could be a two-way street. Don’t just jump in without some real thought.

Sleep on your results reread them. If satisfied sit down with the person and have a friendly chat. Set expectations and lay them out.

You don’t have to live at someone’s Becken call 24/7/365. Figure what you need to not have stress, put it out there and then hold that person or person’s accountable. It’s not unreasonable by any standard.

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