Single Mom Living My Best Life

My New Book just published today. Enjoy the Introduction and you have a link at the bottom of the page to visit my Author Page available at Amazon.

A Guide for Extraordinary Change

single mothers, mom, parenting

Introduction

‘When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me.’”—Erma Bombeck

Well, let’s start with the obvious. I’m not a single Mom, and why should you listen to this dude?

How about answering a couple of questions first?

  1. What if you could learn self-confidence enough to crush all your goals?
  2. What if you could learn to earn more money than you ever have?

No, we’re not selling pipedreams!

I felt compelled to share my life experience, knowledge of business, my Christian faith for single moms that might be struggling to make ends-meat.

What I am suggesting to you is that if you lack confidence, don’t believe you can go any further than where you are right now. You could not be more wrong.

This book will teach you confidence building through faith.  How to overcome negative mindsets. Most importantly, how to not only sell how valuable you are but potentially find a career in sales. Perhaps even further in whatever endeavor YOU choose! How about an I want a job, not a have-to-have mundane job?

Sales skills can help you advance any job. When you can ethically build value in products or services, you offer. You will begin to see your career move like the wind. I will teach you to do this in a fun and engaging way.

Throughout the book, exercises, notes, and learning will occur. Get a notebook to have ready to do some fun work.

Taking our life and turning it on its axis, shaking it up, and on the other side is your joy, peace, and smile!

Many times, over the years, I have heard Pastors say. Bring everything to the Lord. Nothing is too big or small. Joel Osteen once said if God can bring into existence the Universe. Don’t you imagine he can bring into reality your dreams?

TD Jakes, who makes me laugh wonderfully. Talks about bringing wimpy prayers to God. He, too, uses the analogy God flung the universe into existence, and all you’re going to ask him for is, “Oh Lord, please, I need to pay my rent.” He, in a bold voice, says stop asking God to pay your rent but ask God for the means and way to have a mortgage.

With work and faith together in this book, we can move mountains.

Get all the stereotypical sales guy images out of your head, open your heart, and let’s learn! When I speak about sales skills if you can use your power of persuasion in the betterment of your life. Wow, watch what you can do!

Single moms of which by the way I was raised by one. Perhaps I have some insight given the struggles my Mother endured.

When I was three years old, my father took me, my little sister and mother to my maternal grandparents’ home. Dropped us off to never return. I can remember my mother from time-to-time crying uncontrollably.

Fast forward my life to times I remember how hard it was on my mom. One morning I remember when I was seven, maybe eight years old. My mother was in the bathroom, and I heard a crash and a break in the bathroom sink.

My mother had saved her money to by some sort of face cream, something just for her. It dropped and apparently broke in the sink to the point of being ruined. I remember hearing her crying so hard, saying, “I never ask for anything why?” “I saved for months to get this, oh God.”

It was haunting to me. I knew my mother’s heart was torn for something she had struggled so hard to get.

Over the years, my mother gave up her life for my sister and me. She never really dated because my sister and I had terrible times with she would leave us. We had abandonment issues so severe that my mother simply stopped trying to have her own life.

She also worked her ass off, never in my life can I remember that my mother took a sick day from work. Two times in her life, she was hospitalized for cysts in her breasts. Doctors wanted to do a biopsy. Thank God she was always okay.

My mother made clothes, and other personal items work well beyond what they should. Just so, my sister and I could have new things. Or just food on the table.

She made sure we got to ski competitively. That I had new skis each season. Paid for ski trips to races. As a child, you don’t realize what this is assuredly costing our family.

Now that my mother is in her eighties, I can reflect on what she did for me in my life. The sacrifice (although she would never say that) she made for me. I don’t think any of us would change our life.

For me, maybe at this moment do I now realize why this book and why you.

If I could bestow any bit of wisdom upon you. My mother in her day did not have the same access to the internet, cell phones, information as you do today. Her choice was to, at any cost, make sure my sister and I were cared for. She did that with grace.

Some of you will say well, that’s what a Mother is supposed to do. That be the case, my mother passed this test with grace. Today, however, I believe if you’re a single Mom, you might have an opportunity to not only be the Mom you want to be but to be the individual you dream of being. I tell ladies you can have both!

You have before you a world in which you have choices beyond just taking care of your children. You can also have a life with not only your children but one in which you can have an experience to the point that you say to God at the end of your days. “Thanks, that was a hell of a ride!”

Limits are only set by you. There is no stone tablet, no law, nothing to prevent you from achieving all that life has to offer.

My mother was a voracious reader all her life. Now sitting here writing this. It occurs to me that maybe, therefore, I wanted to write as my career!

Since I cannot change the trajectory of my Mother loving choices. Maybe, just maybe, I can share with you enough to help shape the trajectory of your life. I can share useful information, but this is a path you must walk.

You don’t know how the course of our life and the lives around us will shape us. I believe that I understand better why I am an author today than ever before.

Click Here to Visit My Page Author Page

Life Detox

This is the first chapter of Life Detox. How we can cleanse, mind, body, and soul. Sometimes it’s just time to rip off the bandaid and be done with it! Choose to begin anew!

Chapter 1 

Why 

“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”—Michael Jordan

Perfection is not the goal; persistence is our focus. 

You’ve all heard you need to find your way. True but, in this scenario, the why needs to be you’re sick-and-tired-of-being-sick-and-tired! Enough is enough. Well, I can tell you that over a year ago, that is where I found myself. 

(Get a pad of paper to do some writing) To make any lasting change, grab the paper! 

Here are some questions you need to ask yourself:

 

  • Is your life where you hoped it would be right now?

 

  • Are you depressed most of the time?
  • Are you merely going through the paces of daily life with no real direction, work, go home, that’s about all?
  • Are you unhappy? Why?
  • If money, time, education, depression were not the problem. What would fulfill your life?

 

 

Please take the time to put some real thought into the questions. If you follow along this way, we can save you a great deal of time. 

You must get very clear on what you would like to see your life become. One of the biggest epiphanies I’ve experienced don’t worry about the HOW, set your sail to the horizon of where you want your life. 

Imagine getting on a boat for a long journey. You set sail, and off you go. Along the way, you most assuredly will face rough seas. When you begin the rough journey seas, severe weather is not part of the equation when you decided to set sail. 

The end destination is more important than how we get there! If you had a chance to visit some beautiful faraway island, once in a lifetime opportunity. Would you not go because you MIGHT run into bad weather? Did you not go because you thought the how was more difficult — focusing on the “what if’s” instead of the outcome? 

Logic would suggest you have a plan that includes how. So how do you plot this course change in life without knowing how you’re going to traverse the course to a destination. When you set out on any journey let’s say a storm comes up, do you sail directly through it? No, you may have to recalibrate a new route. 

My point is you don’t know all the “how’s” that will change your course unexpectedly. However, if you worry yourself before you set sail, you’ll stifle any chance of real change! 

I can hear you! “How do you not worry about how?” These are bullet points that will explain: 

 

  • Have a clear definition of the result. Know what you want clearly! 

 

  • Learn to meditate on the result you desire, see it in your mind’s eye. Feel in every part of your being what it would feel like to have achieved that which you want most. 
  • Have unwavering faith it will happen. A prayer might sound like “God you know what I desire in my heart, I have faith you will provide everything I need for that, what you put in my heart to achieve. I don’t know how we will do this; I trust you have the way.
  • Pray for wisdom and guidance.
  • Set realistic expectations. Reach to be sure.

 

 

How to turn from wishful thinking to ACTION:

 

  • What is one step you can take right now to begin your journey? Forget the words significant steps, little steps. Every step forward creates forward momentum. 

 

  • Learn the difference between activity vs. productivity. 
  • Learn to plan your day for production — set reminders for tasks that produce results. Stay on task!
  • Take time to research and put into action what you learn to achieve your desire. Fill yourself as though you’re filling a pitcher with knowledge.
  • When self-doubt and the like hit your noodle, remember this, whatever negative thoughts you’re having it’s temporary. Work through it even when you think you cannot.

 

 

The how will come to you. Take steps every day, and you will begin to gain momentum. 

“When you begin to worry, go find something to do. Get busy being a blessing to someone; do something fruitful. Talking about your problem or sitting alone, thinking about it does no good! It serves only to make you miserable. Above all else, remember that worrying is useless. Worrying will not solve your problem.”–Joyce Meyer

A struggle for everyone.  When everything in your life is overwhelmingly worrisome. So how do we get through that?

When you begin to realize that no matter what you’re going through in life, it’s temporary. If you get flustered stifling any sort of progress the situation stalls or gets worse.

Begin to look at trials and tribulations as a coaching exercise. Learn to realize God is coaching you to become a world-class you! What do coaches do? They train you to go beyond what you believe you can do. Stretch yourself beyond your limiting beliefs.

Life is changing for me. I don’t look at difficulties as a problem, but a learning experience is preparing me to handle anything life can throw at me. Yes, at times, you can feel alone, lost, and defeated. At this moment I think of myself as running dead last in a race. I can choose to fail, or I can run my heart out and win.

God is merely working all of us out. He is training us to handle anything the enemy can throw to disrupt our life. Why can’t God fix my life? He is trying by letting you work through the pain to strengthen your resolve.

It hurts I can’t do it! God never puts more on our plate than we can handle. Hard to understand, but here is the skinny. Get through this because on the other side of pain is your destiny. Bigger and brighter than you can imagine.

Change the way you look at problems. They’re not happening at you they’re happing for you!

Here are some exercises you can do to change your state-of-mind: Crank up some music that gets you dancing. Music can immediately improve your state and put a smile on your face. 

 

  • Breathe. Take 60 seconds or so and breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth, beautiful and relaxing. 

 

  • Pray — nothing like a good prayer. You can hand God the garbage he is ready to be a blessing to you and carry it out. 
  • Meditate. Find the right place to meditate and relax your mind and body.

 

 

Take a walk. Get outdoors and walk to help relieve muscle stress. Throw on some headphones and good music. Change your state-of-mind, and you will change your life. 

Time outdoors can be incredibly cathartic to the soul. Taking in nature, walking by a river, standing on the beach, anywhere that God has touched the landscape. You can look up and happily say to God, “show off.” Smiling in awe of the world around you. 

When you can take these moments to find clarity in your head, good thoughts, new ideas, and fresh perspectives will become the norm. 

One thing that I did put up a bird-feeder. Birds are incredibly funny and beautiful to watch. I have found myself sitting for long periods just enjoying my birds and clearing my head when I’m not trying — just enjoying the moment.

eBook, Self Improvement, Happiness

 

Available on Amazon Kindle

You Have to Live Today Anyway, be Happy, Have Fun, Smile

“When I wake up, I expect things to be good. If they’re not, then I try to set about trying to make them as good as I can ’cause I know I’m gonna have to live that day anyway. So why not try to make the most of it if you can? Some days, they pan out a little better than others, but you still gotta always just try.”–Dolly Parton

What is your expectation when you wake up every day? 

If you begin each day with a grateful heart, realize you may have bumps in the road today, but you have a Monster Truck that blows right over bumps, fences, construction, mud, snow, ice, you name it your Monster Truck resolve for life can blow right through!

Let’s do like Dolly says and work to make every day a bit better even when it might not be the rainbow/marshmallow day you were hoping for.

bed,wake up, happy
Wake Up Happy!

Happiness truly begins with a grateful heart. Declare your gratitude each and every day. Several times per day. If we learn to be thankful for what we have, then God will bless our lives with more abundance.

We all have bad days and can find ourselves in a dark place. Everyone! Don’t fall prey to depression as best you can. Obviously, if you suffer, get help. Where and when you can smile, let God now that you’re grateful for the smallest of blessings. Moreover, you’re thankful for the benefits to come, happiness, health, and prosperity.

Smile and have a blessed day! 

Share your thoughts and questions: 

Impossible is Possible!

“It always seems impossible until it’s done.”–Nelson Mandela

It’s only impossible if you think it is. Nothing is if you believe in your heart, you can. You’re not too old, not too young, not enough education, not enough blah, blah, blah. You are if you BELIEVE YOU ARE!

Life takes work, life takes courage. Grab your courage, and let’s GO.

life, happiness, courage

Need to Stop Arguing this may Help

How to start a civil conversation when you and your spouse, significant other, are fighting to the point you can’t say a nice word. This takes both you coming to the table as a cease-fire.

This is a fantastic way to have a civil conversation. What our goal will be is to talk without fighting. If you can begin a civil discourse, then you can start to find healing words and a way back to happiness.

self help, love, happiness

For this, to work, you have to both agree to NOT talk about your fight. This is a total cease-fire of all ugliness! Each must come with an open heart. 

  1. Make a time where you can sit down totally uninterrupted. No alcohol, no wine, just coffee or a soda. The two of you ONLY. Kids need to-go-to grandmas.
  2. Each of you agrees with no curse words.
  3. Rock, paper, scissors to see who talks first. Best two out of three if needed.

So what is the conversation going to be?

Give this some thought before you sit down. Assuming you are agreed.

Pick something about your life that your partner does not really know about you. The story can be about anything except for a topic that Segways into your argument. 

The whole point of this is to talk about something that allows the two of you to communicate! Each takes a turn in telling a story, having a conversation that is merely the two of you talking.

If you’ve completed this, we have one more exercise.

What made you fall in love with each other? Have a conversation about what makes you happy together.

If you can do these two things then perhaps what you’re arguing about is not that big a deal. Sometimes, we just need to talk civilly and then remember why we love one another.

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