“I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars.”–Og Mandino
This quote brings perspective to life, it’s all how you look at life, love, and happiness.
Have you failed in love, lost a relationship maybe even several. Has love eluded you as though it were some ultra-secret Government project? Romantic love, self-love, love of life, love, love, love!!!
Love sets our world on its axis. Love can bring us to the brink of total self-destruction. Yet we seek it with a passion an unwavering passion. Imagine bringing to bear this same passion in all aspects of our lives. Think about when love has involved the level of intensity and commitment you bring to it?
Romantic love brings out the very best, but it can bring out the very worst in people. Love blinds our judgment at times. Yet we continue to move towards the train tracks when everyone is screaming the train is coming. Will walk right out on those train tracks in pursuit of love.
When it comes to love, romantic love is often times where love begins and ends. Yet love should permeate our life experience in all we do. Love should guide our personal journey. Keep in the back of your mind reading this article the power of love. Think about your level of commitment to the pursuit of romantic love.
What seems to hide from most of us. Loving ourselves, loving the life we’ve carved out for ourselves. The passion with which we chisel out our experience. The masterpiece we hope it to be.
Of course, we love our family and children. When I talk about love or just about anything that has to do with life. Take the family out of the equation (not in the wrong way). Everyone loves their children, spouses with all their heart.
The real question is, do you love yourself as much as you like someone else? The same love you show for your child, do you give yourself that same level of devotion? If you don’t have a child, it can be a parent, spouse, or even a pet.
Do you love yourself with the same level that you like others?
The fact is being happy with yourself, bringing a glad you to this world. That’s where the real blessings begin. Where you find those hidden secrets to life that appear to be the most heavily guarded government secrets.
How do we find self-love, you ask?
Spirituality. Get connected to God, the Universe, a higher power. Learn where your soul lives!
Meditation, get connected with your conscious and sub-conscious mind. Learn to quiet the mind so you can receive.
Breathe! Yep, I said it, learn to take breaks during your day to breathe. The power of this sixty-second time for you is immeasurable. It relaxes your mind and lets go of tension.
Yoga. If you’ve never tried Yoga, then let me invite you for a fantastic surprise. Go try a few classes, you will get hooked!
Make an investment in yourself. Video’s, books, classes, anything that uplifts your own spirit.
These five things are a great start. Learning to love yourself can be a daunting challenge. We’ve all done things in our lives that we wished we hadn’t. Guilt and self-loathing can rear their ugly heads to help us kick our own ass. It doesn’t have to be that way. Speaking from my personal experience here.
Here is my take on the past. If you are not doing the same things, you did in the past. Living your life in the right positive direction. It’s time to let yourself out of history and into your new life. It’s okay to love yourself, even with a past. Hell, we all have a past, if you’ve changed let it go.
Past indiscretions are not life sentences. Not doing the same things that were done in the past is your salvation to a new life. Let it go to God, never do it again, and you can have peace. This is a big one for me. If people in your life can’t see the change, you’ve made or want to hang on to the past. Don’t let that steal your joy.
If you have friends or family still holding onto your past. Not much you can do about that.
Loving ourselves begins with a first step. My challenge to you is to make the first step right now. Don’t think about it, start. Take one action today.
If you find this article useful, please think about buying me a cup of coffee, and thanks!
“I hated every minute of training, but I said, ‘Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.”–Muhammad Ali
Fight Through Even When you think you Cannot.
Many days are like training. I hate every minute, but I keep pushing through. Following God on my mind, but not really feeling him present. Life can kick you in the gut, we can choose to fall apart or just keep moving.
Keeping moving somedays takes every ounce of my strength. As I am sure to not be the only person on this earth that struggles through. Let us say that most of us are kindred souls when it comes to living life.
Do not stall when life just seems like “really” can’t catch a damn break! Scream if you have to but say “I am NOT LOSING this time.” Fight, fight, and fight through, you can do it. I do it most days you can too.
Tell the enemy NOT today asshole, you don’t get the satisfaction of bringing me down. Do this even if you don’t see hope. Fly on blind faith but fly. The reason that I am writing this article is today I am operating on blind faith. Many things have fallen apart, but I know that it’s a temporary problem.
The problem is I don’t believe that statement this moment, but what the hell else can I do but to keep moving forward. I can stop saying F’it. What would that do but make things worse!
So if I can do this, so shall you! We all get hit with life that hurts. Instead of giving up work through it even when your mind and body are fighting you.
“Your past does NOT define your future.” This will become very clear as the story moves forward. Are you ready for a change? If so, then welcome.
It doesn’t matter whether you are male or female. Either side can be on the receiving end of a toxic relationship. The article is written to both genders.
When you dwell into the past then thoughts of “I’m not worthy” “I’m worthless” will stop you in your tracks. It’s time to get our thinking into a healthy mindset; it’s time to smile again.
We really do this when it comes to letting go of relationships. Looking in that rearview mirror for clues. Answers that may never happen. It’s challenging to let go of contacts when we don’t understand fully why they ended or must end because it’s toxic.
Sometimes we’re in toxic relationships that it’s necessary for us to move on for our own sanity. Sadly, in this type of relationship, we get ourselves beaten down to the point that toxic behavior is allowed and accepted from ourselves. For some, the connection itself means more than our own serenity.
Allowing ones’ self to fall prey to this type of relationship is far more comfortable than what you might think. We convince ourselves that this person will change, or something about ourselves we can change that will make our toxic partner love us.
The first thing doesn’t believe you have no options. For example, a housewife with young children no family close, and the list goes on. So, acceptance becomes easier than facing the pain. This life is not your portrayal of a doormat. “Woo-Hoo I landed the part of a lifetime Doormat!” Not only NO but heck NO!
What now seems like a no-way-out scenario. Is temporary if you make it so.
This story will help:
Let’s pretend for a moment that the relationship of our dreams is at the top of a vast mountain we must climb to the summit to live happily-ever-after. Stay with me, I know it sounds cheesy.
Our emotions are so heavy for the beautiful relationship we have to carry them in a backpack. So we load love, passion, desire, tranquility, and fulfillment into our pack. This is a lot of heavy emotions we’re carrying up the hill. The good news, for now, is that it all fits and we can carry it. The summit does not seem so far away.
Now comes our partner who has a few things we need to carry for them. These toxic emotions are incredibly dense.
Abuse both physical and mental (If physical violence is a part of your life, reach out for professional help, contact your local law enforcement. Protection and assistance are a phone call away)
So as the relationship begins “your hike up the hill,” the emotions mentioned above get stuffed in your backpack. Not all at once mind you but slowly as you ascend to the summit. With each step, the pack becomes more burdensome, and your ability to combat these new emotions diminishes due to mental fatigue.
Until finally you just fall from exhaustion from the toxic emotional weight of the pack.
This becomes a dark place where we just see no light. The trail becomes so obscure we’re not able to see any hope (light at the end of the path to guide us). If you’re in this place, breathe! We’re getting ready to turn on the light to guide your way. Hope exists.
So what happens now? The answer is the flashlight that is in the bottom of your backpack that is now stuffed so tightly you cannot reach inside to get it. You’re going to have to unload the pack enough to get to the light. The flashlight holds the key to lighting your way.
Here are some simple steps bringing light to start now:
Take a moment and breathe, yes breathe. Find a place that you can take a couple of minutes to just breathe. Take a couple of deep cleansing breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth. Then just breathe for at least one minute. Relax your body. Relaxed clear mind!
Start walking every day. Do this for a couple of reasons. One you need strength, two you have an opportunity to clear your
Learning to make your mind, relax your body. Power comes from within when you can harness that strength, see yourself while meditating towards that which you truly desire.
Accept that YOU are allowed to be happy. Allowed to have the life you want. Your current situation is not a sentence.
Educate yourself with suitable material. Apply what you learn to gain strength and enlightenment. Make an investment in your own happiness.
Would you like to know what the good news is? Five new negative emotions were added to your backpack. You now have five steps that have helped you remove enough garbage out of your pack so that now the flashlight that guides your way is within reach in your bag.
Now, let’s finish our climb.
With a lighter pack and light to see the trail. You can stand up and finish the journey. Toxic relationships are not anyone’s destiny. Getting out of it may have some pain that must be endured. Our steps outlined help you develop the strength to take the strain.
With your lighter pack and flashlight in hand begin your walk. The summit is now is starting to come apparent from the fog that WAS your life. Practice every day, these simple steps, and you will be amazed at how quickly your emotional strength will recover.
See yourself at the top of the mountain. Now we need to add a little to what happens when we get to the top of our mountain.
At the top of the mountain, the summit, the pinnacle of your happiness. From this vantage point, you see, happiness, love, joy, and freedom to live the life you dreamt of. With the strength to say what is acceptable and what is NOT acceptable in your life experience.
We all may enjoy a life filled with trials and tribulations, but those trials are not acceptable when induced by someone that professes to love us.
You now have the tools to begin the journey. Remember, you’re not alone, and you are worthy of happiness.
Pastoral Counseling (reach out to a local Church that offers Pastoral Care) Marriage Counseling (many centers work on a sliding scale for payment)