A Guide To Real Change

A sneak look at my book A Guide To Real Change. Check out Chapter 1 of this fantastic book and begin the journey to change your life. We all need help changing aspects of our lives!

Chapter 1

 Together We Begin

Excuse me, hello, excuse me. Yes, you! Can you look this way, please? You’re looking at yesterday; I need you focused forward, thank you!

Are you looking forward to TODAY? When you woke up, did your feet hit the floor, with a smile on your face? Most likely not read on.

“Never let yesterday use up too much of today.”—Will Rogers

Today is all you have. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is just that tomorrow. So, what can you do to make today a good day? Plan for it. Have a program that has tasks that need doing today. Prepare the night before at least three things you know for sure you can accomplish in a day.

Have small successes every day. Complete tasks that will help bring about big success in whatever aspect of your life that needs help the most right now. Learn productivity vs. activity, read on you’ll see what I mean.

What happens is we tend to get to scattered out with all the things we need to fix. Like, relationships, jobs, ourselves, bills, and the list gets bigger. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time! Apply that to your life, and you will achieve much more.

This process of change has eluded me. By appearance, just organizing aspects of our life for success seem simple. The real test is, are you doing it now? Will you stay consistent?

Here are some tasks to help you get started:

  1. Set daily reminders on your phone to alert you to functions for that day.
  2. Use apps like Google Tasks, Google Calendar, they’re free. I use them, and they help me a lot.
  3. Make time in the evening to plan out tasks (minimum 3) for the next day.
  4. DON’T PROCRASTINATE!
  5. Use a calendar to help your track deadlines. Also, a Project Management app is a great way to keep track of your progress.

Five quick things you can do today!

It’s your turn to win! Get started right now. Don’t think, DO!!!

This book is the first step. Keep going.

Where to Begin

You are coming to a point in life where the outcome thus far is a disaster. If this is you, welcome, I welcome you to the beginning of your new life. Just reading this won’t bring change. If you want this, it’s going to take some work.

Before we begin, the importance of this one thing Patience! It cannot be understated.

“Patience is not simply the ability to wait – it’s how we behave while we’re waiting.”—Joyce Meyer

Without the patience to allow change to occur, you will stifle progress. My mother always told me this “it took you fifty years to break your life; give yourself time to change.” She was right as most moms are.

Where a failure occurs, most is the lack of patience to allow change to occur. We live in the “I want it right now society.” Get that out of your head right now. Where I stumbled hard — not allowing the universe to set a new course for my life. Think of yourself as a large ship that needs turning around. It takes a wide berth to achieve a safe turn.

Beginning the process will have its trials and tribulations. Your mind will fill with self-doubt, where patience becomes a struggle. Misery loves the company, and your noodle will remind you that “we love pain, we’re comfortable here” because you are comfortable in pain. You won’t let go quickly.

We all find ourselves in reflection to have a relationship with our pain. It takes years to develop, and it will take time to employ a paradigm shift.

Here is the skinny because I can sense those saying, “I don’t like pain.” We get so comfortable that our mind and body accept it as usual. Therefore, forbearance will see you through.

Don’t get discouraged when it seems that nothing is changing — allowing change to occur. Imposing your own will over a situation only makes an excellent job harder than it must be. You’ve heard I’m sure on God’s time, not my time.

Change cannot come without discomfort.

Don’t quit because of trouble. Evolution is not occurring as quickly as hoped. The pain of loss or other stressors is not dissipating.  The mind is continually in a barrage of negative thoughts, self-doubt, and feels as though nothing is getting better.

“I hated every minute of training, but I said, ‘Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.”–Muhammad Ali

Keeping an eye towards a positive outcome. Being grateful in advance of anything manifesting good in life. Meditate on the result.

If you take a trip around the world at some point in time, weather delays, airport delays, canceled flights, lost luggage, lost hotel reservations, something is going to happen. The chances are high that more than once.

Would you stop an ounce in a lifetime around the world trip over a delay? No, you deal with it and keep going!

What could you tell the younger you if you could? When you’ve drifted out into life like a space void only to look back into the abyss. You get a pit in your stomach that gives way to wow this sucks. Not exactly the experience you envisioned as a younger you.

Hitting the last half of life looking in a rear-view mirror that looks like an apocalyptic mess. Challenging our thoughts with “what a waste.” It begins to stifle any outlook because age has overtaken youth. The idea “I’m not the same as I once was.”

If you’re boldly marching into a mid-life crisis, menopause, or qualify for an AARP® membership. This story is for you. More importantly, if life has not turned out as you planned or hoped, does this give you a feeling of doom?

Everything we’ve read self-help wise in our lives has said to look forward never look back. Easier said than done but very accurate.

Over a year ago, I faced the questions I am posing to you now and staring divorce in the face, that at the time I did not want. With that situation at hand, my mind forced me to look back over my life. What I saw was not the beautiful painting I had hoped it would be — instead, everything past has illuminated for me to see very clearly — damned ugly!

The real kicker is a good bit; you don’t want to change, but the ugly is ugly. This also brings up a question that is the nasty uglier because of the situation currently adding to our loss or stress.

Not only is loss bringing pain, but so is life as we’ve lived it to date. As you often see in text messages, WTF!

Where do we go from here? How can you pick yourself up out of hell and gaze into the mirror and say I love you?

The strength needed to face you is perhaps the solidity you’ve searched for all your life. The power that comes from faith the best is yet to come and believe it. Facing you in the mirror. What do you see?

The choices of what you see can be boundless when in the depths of pain. The pain can become so unbearable that terrible darkness can overtake your thoughts. Damn, what a dark place. Are you sufficiently depressed?

Here is where we learn what advice we would have given our younger self. From this fountain of youth comes wisdom to carry us into our Senior years with a new brighter outlook. The struggle to realize life was not over. It merely takes recalibration of our thoughts.

This book is available on Amazon. Click the cover to check out this amazing book.

book, ebook

Be Happy Where You Are

If you’re going to be great, you must be great where you currently are! Make what you have work. When God sees you can handle any situation the flood gates will open. You can’t use doom & gloom about your current situation. Make your ongoing situation work with an eye towards a new future.

“When you rise in the morning, give thanks for the light, for your life, for your strength. Give thanks for your food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason to give thanks, the fault lies in yourself.”–Tecumseh
Let’s break this down a bit, so it makes sense if you hate your current job for example. As hard as this may be, you need to make it work. Why you do how you can expect God to bless you with more if you’re not grateful for what you have? Keep in mind you can let God know what your heart is with him and ask for a change. Pray for a new beginning but show him that you will stay in faith where you are.

I agree it is difficult. However, it makes total sense that before you can get more, you need to be okay where you are. Entrepreneurs can be handed a bag of dog poop and told that is the main ingredient for the Ice Cream they must make. Learn to make Ice Cream out of dog poop.

happy, life, love

My point is no matter what life looks like making the best of what you have. Do this and on the other side is the life you truly desire.

So, let’s assume for the sake of conversation that you detest where you are in your life. Your job stinks, you’re doing what you have to do not what you want to do. Right there with you! Apart from writing this blog post for me is a want-to-do not a have-to-do.

Here are some ideas I would like to share with you to accept where you are as temporary:

  • Make the best of each day. Don’t use negative narratives to describe where you are. You may very well think that life sucks where you are. Change that conversation to “thank you God for the new life that you are blessing me with.” Be grateful for where you are and what is coming.
  • Think about this. You have not because you ask not. Are you praying for a new life? Not, “oh please God get me out of here.” In prayer let God know as a friend your desires, then let him do his job.
  • Visualize and meditate on the life you want. See yourself in that place you desire. Do this daily. Let the Universe begin to move obstacles away and have patience and faith!
  • Keep this in mind. When doing something you may not like to do, work with jerks you don’t want to be with, stay in a relationship you have no hope of happiness. It’s all temporary. Focus on the solution NOT the problem. Learn to quiet your mind in meditation and believe with everything that is you, life can and will change!

Nothing negative we go through is a life sentence. It’s a season of life where the enemy will do everything necessary to bring you down. Change the narrative of your life. Focus on the outcome, be grateful for that outcome even if you see absolutely no way of getting there.

The life you want is on the other side of pain, frustration, hopelessness, if you stay in faith even when you see no way, I promise you will find a new season opening up for you. Never give up!

Comments and Questions:

 

 

 

Patience is the Key, Blessings, Success, and Life

“Patience is not simply the ability to wait – it’s how we behave while we’re waiting.”–Joyce Meyer 
Letting God do his work takes time. Patience allows God to see your faith, that you trust enough to allow your life’s destiny to open up as it should. When you lose hope because times get tough slows the progress.

self help, happy, peace

We all struggle with patience because we want everything right now. Living in a world that wants us to believe now!

The struggle is we don’t see an outcome being positive quickly enough then our first instinct is to jump in the middle of something that needs time. Yes, you have to do the work, what’s necessary to move things along.

There is a difference in taking steps to realize a change, or forcing something that is not altogether ready to manifest. For example, a relationship you push too hard when you push someone away because you don’t give them the time and space to come to the same place you are.

Worse still is you merely give up. “Oh this is not going to work, or it would have by now.” The Universe will align the sun, the moon, and the stars in your favor with Patience. Remember you cannot say I want a new job and then order a pizza and wait. You have to get out and do the work, look for a job, interview and keep chugging until you here “Welcome we want to hire you.”

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Six Facts about Meditation that aren’t True

If you have never tried meditation because you have some preconceived notion about beginning a meditation practice. It’s time to get the real facts.

Excuses to try or do anything in this life won’t serve you well at all. Don’t assume to understand something without having a clear understanding. You’ve heard the old cliche, “Don’t judge a book by its cover.”

peace, happy, love, joy

Also, preconceived notions never pan out to what you believe, chances are it’s something you’re hearing or fear. Either way, it’s terrible form to embrace the negativity.

Here are some misconceptions about meditation: 

  1. Meditation is a Buddhist religious practice, “I’m not a Buddhist.” 
  2. I have to chant or do another embarrassing ritual. 
  3. I cannot clear my mind enough to relax.
  4. I don’t have the time! 
  5. I’m not a religious person, meditation is spiritual.
  6. It’s “hocus-pocus.” 

You may have other reason to not try or think you cannot meditate. I’m here to tell you meditation can change your life. It’s easy to do and you can with practice you too can find yourself loving to meditate.

Now let’s talk about an easy way to get started:

  1. If you’re like me trying to quiet the mind can seem a daunting challenge. Try using headphones with meditation music. If you focus on the music, slow your breathing in through the nose out through the mouth. Finding tranquility is a few music bars away. 
  2. Finding good meditation music, I use YouTube®. 
  3. One of the best places to meditate is sitting or lying in a quiet area (don’t fall asleep). Choose a spot where there will be no disruptions. This can be a challenge with children. With younger children practice your meditation during nap times or after bedtimes. Older children let them know you need some time with no interruption, they can go out and play. 
  4. As you move forward, taking a minute in your office chair, sitting in the car, anywhere where you can have a few minutes to yourself. It’s not hard to find these moments. 
  5. When you begin, take a few deep cleansing breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth. Then breathe nice relaxed breaths filling your lungs with good and blowing out the bad. Focus on breathing until you can feel comfortable. 
  6. Be in the moment. Let yourself go. It may take some time, but don’t stress. It comes with time and practice. It’s not hard to master it will happen. Don’t act like your unique “It won’t work for me.” Yes, it will work for you! 
  7. I will lose my edge. “I need my pain.” No, actually you don’t! You won’t lose 

Meditation is the best way to connect yourself with you! Learning to quiet one’s mind allowing ourselves to connect with the Universe. It’s a blessing beyond any measure. You can focus your thoughts on your minds-eye.  Opening up a whole new world of favor in your life.

self help, happy, smile

When you can see yourself in the positive light, you want for your life. Oh my, a peace you have never experienced will come over you in waves.

The beautiful thing with meditation is that when you do stumble and fall. Meditation is a tool that will help you re-center yourself. The quicker you get back to the good you, the better.

You can meditate for so many things:

  • Good Health
  • A happy you!
  • The spiritual connection to God
  • Happy Relationship
  • Finding answers to life’s questions

How I involve my meditation practice into my life. First, I told myself this was more important to my growth than just about any other modality. My connection to God is how I like to see it. Seeing myself grateful for happiness, good health, and all that God has to show me in my life.

During meditation, I can feel more connected to the Universe than just about any other time. One huge benefit for me; being able to have the patience to allow my life’s destiny to unfold. No longer forcing growth. If you don’t understand that statement, you will.

You can find time to meditate. Before work, after work, in the car (not driving of course), kids nap time, when you wake up, when you go to bed, sitting at the park, sitting by a river, just find a moment and do it.

The optimal time is 20 to 30 minutes for me. You can also get in an excellent quick relaxing breathing exercise for sixty seconds. The more you think about time is lost time you could have been meditating. This is your meditation practice, so time is not relevant to your success. You can go for an hour or sixty seconds. Don’t worry about the time you’ll know when you’re done.

Consistency in your practice will dictate the level of success you have. Find time every day even when you have to steal the time.

Get started today! Don’t think, do!

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Keep Moving your Life Even when it seems You Cannot

“I hated every minute of training, but I said, ‘Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.”–Muhammad Ali

 

self help, God, Prayer
Fight Through Even When you think you Cannot.

 

 

Many days are like training. I hate every minute, but I keep pushing through. Following God on my mind, but not really feeling him present. Life can kick you in the gut, we can choose to fall apart or just keep moving.

Keeping moving somedays takes every ounce of my strength. As I am sure to not be the only person on this earth that struggles through. Let us say that most of us are kindred souls when it comes to living life.

Do not stall when life just seems like “really” can’t catch a damn break! Scream if you have to but say “I am NOT LOSING this time.” Fight, fight, and fight through, you can do it. I do it most days you can too.

help, hope, happy

Tell the enemy NOT today asshole, you don’t get the satisfaction of bringing me down. Do this even if you don’t see hope. Fly on blind faith but fly. The reason that I am writing this article is today I am operating on blind faith. Many things have fallen apart, but I know that it’s a temporary problem.

The problem is I don’t believe that statement this moment, but what the hell else can I do but to keep moving forward. I can stop saying F’it. What would that do but make things worse!

So if I can do this, so shall you! We all get hit with life that hurts. Instead of giving up work through it even when your mind and body are fighting you.

God bless!