breathe

Life Change

/ Robert Bruton / Leave a comment

This is a little taste of my new book coming out the first of next year. Not yet titled, but it covers life change. What steps we need to take for lasting change. 

Change cannot come without discomfort.

Don’t quit because of discomfort. Change is not occurring as quickly as hoped. The pain of loss or other stressors is not dissipating.  The mind is continually in a barrage of negative thoughts, self-doubt and feels as though nothing is getting better.

“I hated every minute of training, but I said, ‘Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.”–Muhammad Ali 

Keeping an eye towards a positive outcome. Being grateful in advance of anything manifesting good in life. Meditate on the result.

If you take a trip around the world at some point in time weather delays, airport delays, canceled flights, lost luggage, lost hotel reservations, something is going to happen. The chances are excellent that more than once.

Would you stop an around the world trip over a delay? No, you deal with it and keep going!

The first activity to do:

Breathe

You read that right breath. The power of this simple act is immeasurable. Here is why. The simple act of taking a break to breathe for just a minute or two. It helps to slow down your mind, relaxes your muscles and body. Your mind will begin to relax.

How to breathe:

  1. Take a couple of deep cleansing breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth.
  2. Slow your breathing to a relaxing pace. Close your eyes to focus on a slow deep breathing exercise.
  3. Breath deep into your lungs without straining. Allow the oxygen to fill your lungs and a relaxed exhale.
  4. Continue this for a good sixty seconds or a little more.
  5. When you feel relaxed merely stop.

What outcome to desire is relaxation. Let go of your body in a chair when doing this breathing exercise. Just taking a couple of minutes a few times per day to breathe. You will be amazed at how calming this can be.

The tension in the body will begin to wash away. Give it time. This works so well you will make it a part of your daily routine. Who thought something so easy would make such a difference in our day.

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Toxic Relationship Stops NOW

/ Robert Bruton / Leave a comment

“Your past does NOT define your future.” This will become very clear as the story moves forward. Are you ready for a change? If so, then welcome.

It doesn’t matter whether you are male or female. Either side can be on the receiving end of a toxic relationship. The article is written to both genders.

When you dwell into the past then thoughts of “I’m not worthy” “I’m worthless” will stop you in your tracks. It’s time to get our thinking into a healthy mindset; it’s time to smile again.

stress, spouse, self help

We really do this when it comes to letting go of relationships. Looking in that rearview mirror for clues. Answers that may never happen. It’s challenging to let go of contacts when we don’t understand fully why they ended or must end because it’s toxic.

Sometimes we’re in toxic relationships that it’s necessary for us to move on for our own sanity. Sadly, in this type of relationship, we get ourselves beaten down to the point that toxic behavior is allowed and accepted from ourselves. For some, the connection itself means more than our own serenity.

Allowing ones’ self to fall prey to this type of relationship is far more comfortable than what you might think. We convince ourselves that this person will change, or something about ourselves we can change that will make our toxic partner love us.

The first thing doesn’t believe you have no options. For example, a housewife with young children no family close, and the list goes on. So, acceptance becomes easier than facing the pain. This life is not your portrayal of a doormat. “Woo-Hoo I landed the part of a lifetime Doormat!” Not only NO but heck NO!

What now seems like a no-way-out scenario. Is temporary if you make it so.

This story will help:

Let’s pretend for a moment that the relationship of our dreams is at the top of a vast mountain we must climb to the summit to live happily-ever-after. Stay with me, I know it sounds cheesy.

Our emotions are so heavy for the beautiful relationship we have to carry them in a backpack. So we load love, passion, desire, tranquility, and fulfillment into our pack. This is a lot of heavy emotions we’re carrying up the hill. The good news, for now, is that it all fits and we can carry it. The summit does not seem so far away.

Now comes our partner who has a few things we need to carry for them. These toxic emotions are incredibly dense.

What could be so much?

  • Control
  • Jealousy
  • Anger
  • Narcissistic behavior
  • Abuse both physical and mental (If physical violence is a part of your life, reach out for professional help, contact your local law enforcement. Protection and assistance are a phone call away)

So as the relationship begins “your hike up the hill,” the emotions mentioned above get stuffed in your backpack. Not all at once mind you but slowly as you ascend to the summit. With each step, the pack becomes more burdensome, and your ability to combat these new emotions diminishes due to mental fatigue.

Until finally you just fall from exhaustion from the toxic emotional weight of the pack.

This becomes a dark place where we just see no light. The trail becomes so obscure we’re not able to see any hope (light at the end of the path to guide us). If you’re in this place, breathe! We’re getting ready to turn on the light to guide your way. Hope exists.

So what happens now? The answer is the flashlight that is in the bottom of your backpack that is now stuffed so tightly you cannot reach inside to get it. You’re going to have to unload the pack enough to get to the light. The flashlight holds the key to lighting your way.

Here are some simple steps bringing light to start now:

  1. Take a moment and breathe, yes breathe. Find a place that you can take a couple of minutes to just breathe. Take a couple of deep cleansing breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth. Then just breathe for at least one minute. Relax your body. Relaxed clear mind! 
  2. Start walking every day. Do this for a couple of reasons. One you need strength, two you have an opportunity to clear your
  3. Learning to make your mind, relax your body. Power comes from within when you can harness that strength, see yourself while meditating towards that which you truly desire.
  4. Accept that YOU are allowed to be happy. Allowed to have the life you want. Your current situation is not a sentence.
  5. Educate yourself with suitable material. Apply what you learn to gain strength and enlightenment. Make an investment in your own happiness.

Would you like to know what the good news is? Five new negative emotions were added to your backpack. You now have five steps that have helped you remove enough garbage out of your pack so that now the flashlight that guides your way is within reach in your bag.

Grab it!

Now, let’s finish our climb.

With a lighter pack and light to see the trail. You can stand up and finish the journey. Toxic relationships are not anyone’s destiny. Getting out of it may have some pain that must be endured. Our steps outlined help you develop the strength to take the strain.

With your lighter pack and flashlight in hand begin your walk. The summit is now is starting to come apparent from the fog that WAS your life. Practice every day, these simple steps, and you will be amazed at how quickly your emotional strength will recover.

See yourself at the top of the mountain. Now we need to add a little to what happens when we get to the top of our mountain.

At the top of the mountain, the summit, the pinnacle of your happiness. From this vantage point, you see, happiness, love, joy, and freedom to live the life you dreamt of. With the strength to say what is acceptable and what is NOT acceptable in your life experience.

We all may enjoy a life filled with trials and tribulations, but those trials are not acceptable when induced by someone that professes to love us.

You now have the tools to begin the journey. Remember, you’re not alone, and you are worthy of happiness.

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Helpful Resources:

Pastoral Counseling (reach out to a local Church that offers Pastoral Care)
Marriage Counseling (many centers work on a sliding scale for payment)

Frustration get rid of It

/ Robert Bruton / Leave a comment

As the title would suggest getting rid of frustration, well easier said than done. The good news it’s possible to condition ourselves to at least shake it off quicker.

Frustration can if we allow it to be debilitating to some and stifling to others. We all get frustrated with work problems, relationship problems, and life in general. Our lives are moving as quickly forward as we would like for example.

self help, prayer, happy

Here are a few simple tasks to be done that can help relieve frustration:

  1. Take a minute or two several times a day to just breathe. A couple of deep cleansing breaths. A minute or so of just breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth. Relax.
  2. Whatever it is that frustrates you write down what the outcome you would like to have to overcome the frustration. Then focus on that. Put this up like an affirmation everywhere you can. The result, not the problem!
  3. When appropriate talk it out. Get someone you respect to offer a new perspective. You don’t necessarily have to agree, but you can see that alternatives do exist.
  4. Get out and walk. Clear your head. Go somewhere where you can take in beautiful trees, nature, or just a place that you find calming. Enjoy a calming walk, focus on what’s around you soak up the environment. Leave your woe’s in the car.
  5. Turn the frustration on its head. Look at what’s happening as a game challenge. To get to the next level, you have to concur where you are. Look for solutions vs. focusing on the frustration itself.

Nothing hard about these few things that you can do to help you overcome frustration. Focus your attention on the end result of where you would like to be. The path to get their will come clear as you believe for the outcome you desire.

Open your heart to possibility. Even if the outcome is not what you desire. Look at the bigger picture, perhaps God is clearing this out to make room for what your destiny indeed is. Sometimes, we must let go of toxic situations to gain our real promise. Be open in your heart, and this will come clear to you.

Smile, breathe and go take a walk!

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Life can be a do-over!

/ Robert Bruton / Leave a comment

How to make your life a do-over right now!

No matter where you are in life you get a do-over from where you are today. You can absolutely change the trajectory of your life right now. The following will be a roadmap to get you started. The beautiful thing is the process anyone can do it. So, no matter where you are, change can happen!

Jesus, self help, faith, love

With just a few simple changes that we will discuss you can change your life. I did it and so can you. You must have an open mind to change if you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired change can happen.

Remember you must start somewhere, and you must have patience. The change will come when you begin to calm down; this comes in time with what I am showing you below. Have faith!!!

Where to begin?

Let’s say your life is a complete shamble right now. Everything is caving in on you. You’re not alone, I too have walked in these shoes. Time to feel better is NOW. How do you say?

Follow these tips to get started:

  1. Begin with this one simple thing breathing for a couple minutes a few times a day. Don’t say “what the heck, this is stupid” no it’s not. Here is why. Start by taking a couple of deep cleansing breaths, then for about a minute all you need to do is focusing on your breathing, friendly and easy relaxing breaths. The purpose is to relax your body, this does!
  2. This is very easy to learn and has life-changing benefits. Get yourself some headphones, find some meditation music you like (YouTube is a great place, and it’s free). Get to a place where you won’t be interrupted, turn off all distractions. Use your breathing exercise to begin. Then close your eyes and focus on the music and breathing. See in your mind’s eye peace, and happiness.
  3. Get outside and take a walk. Notice the clouds, give thanks for what you do have. When you burn off energy, begin to allow your body to get rid of the stress in your muscles. A nice walk can have incredible benefits. What are you waiting for to take a step?
  4. Even if everything you face seems insurmountable, you have to begin to see life, and all your troubles fixed and over. When you can’t see a way, believe that miracles are coming. Believe change is happening now. Be grateful for the blessings you have not received. If you have to stop a hundred times a day and say thank you God for my financial miracle, thank you God for my health, thank you God whatever it is that you need in your life. Be Grateful you have it now, even if you don’t feel it you will. Keep at it constantly.
  5. Get rid of toxic people. Misery loves company. Don’t listen to anyone but God, your source. Even well-meaning family members can stifle your progress. “oh, honey you can’t do that you don’t have the right _____” yes you do if you believe. Does not matter your education, your social status, what matters is your If the WHY is strong enough, you can conquer your world. Just because someone else can’t figure it out does not mean you can’t figure it out!!!

Those are five easy things you can do that will begin to change your life. Now let’s talk about the commitment you will have to have to change and keep it. This is where you separate misery from happiness.

When we begin to change our life for the better the enemy is going to mess with our head. Doubt, fear, and a proclivity to quit or stay status quo. You can and will get through!!!

“When your feet hit the floor let the Devil say Oh Shit he is up.” 

This is the point of our journey were sadly a great many falls of the horse. When the enemy knows you’re changing that is when the heat turns up. Doubt, self-destructive behavior can take over. This is the good news when the fight becomes in your mind more than you can bear. This is when God is about to turn your life completely around. Stay in faith even when you believe you have nothing to hold onto.

Your faith will be tested, and you will prevail. Looking at life as though you were in a firefight or a game where the score is stacked against you. It’s in these moments where giving up is NOT an option. Being hit time and time again with no end in sight, you keep swinging.

“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase”—Martin Luther King Jr.

You can’t give in because when the fog clears, it’s a bright new day.

Most of you are saying why God would let me suffer. When we go through trials and tribulations in our life, it’s a test of faith. God would not allow you to work through this if he did not have confidence in you. When you don’t see a way, God will make a way if you hold on to him. You can do this, stay in faith.

Just like anything worthwhile you must have a level of commitment. Quitting needs to be out of your vernacular. It also is a habit that needs breaking.  Old paradigms are hard to break. Commitment to real change must be unwavering. It’s okay if you slip back just recognize, let go of it and move on.

joy, peace, happiness

Procrastination is the killer of all dreams. Filled with doubt procrastination must be out of your head. Start with anything right now this minute. Why is waiting okay? It’s not. Don’t get caught up saying well I have to do this before I can do that. NO, YOU DON’ T. Everything in this eBook can be done this very moment.

You don’t need new clothes; you don’t need to do your hair, you don’t need time, you don’t need more money. What you NEED is to begin. Take 2 minutes right now and breathe. Tell your phone to set a timer for two minutes and breathe.

This works:

Set a reminder in your phone for breathing, meditating, doing anything that moves your life in a healthy positive way.

Make times every day for yourself. When you don’t feel like doing something that is when you need to do that task for sure. DO NOT TALK YOURSELF OUT OF A TASK AND DO NOT PUT OFF UNTIL LATER. Bad habits are hard to break. The excellent news is they can be cut with commitment and perseverance.

Don’t fool yourself that change will occur tomorrow. The change will begin to happen tomorrow if you start that process NOW.

Marathon runners hit what is known as the wall. It’s the body telling them they can’t jog another step. The mind tries to fool a runner into thinking it’s over. Runners will tell you it’s overpowering the desire to stop. However, when they push through, pain, the mind, and everything in their core being said to stop you can’t. Pushing through to the other side is how you complete a Marathon.

Your mind will play tricks on you to let go of the pain. This can be overcome by practicing what is outlined in this book. Don’t stop because it hurts; pain is fleeting. What is the most painful thing you’ve experienced in your life? If you’re reading this, I am going to say you lived through it. If you woke up this morning that should tell you God is not through with you.

So, let’s go see what God has for our lives.

Give yourself thirty days of significant change. Do just a few things every day to begin the process of changing old unhealthy paradigms into the life dreams are made of.

If you’ve read this whole book that is step one. Woo Hoo you began!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Time to grit your teeth, tell them, enemy, NO MORE. Let God know that no matter what gets thrown at you, this time losing is not an option.

Everything I’ve written I practice every day. I won’t presume to tell you that some days are a real struggle or that I don’t fall backward. What the blessing for me is. I recognize old patterns emerging and work to get rid of them. Many beautiful benefits had come my way when I began working on a whole new outlook on life.

What have you got to lose by merely starting right now! God Bless.

“Every human has four endowments – self-awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom… The power to choose, to respond, to change.”—Steven Covey

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Five Things to Change your Life NOW!

/ Robert Bruton / 2 Comments

“If you can dream it, you can do it.”—Walt Disney 

If life is not where you want it to be. Here are five things you can do that are easy to start and take no money just your time. Making an investment towards your own success has long-range benefits.

Take care to understand that with change comes the challenge. The current life paradigms most have are self-defeatist. As a society, we tend to look to the dark because it’s easier to believe. The constant barrage of negative news, people around us, saying you can’t do that. So, it’s not a wonder we all struggle from time-to-time.

self help, change, life, prayer

Some of the things on the list you will have to research a bit to learn to do, the real point starting! Don’t worry about how to, look forward to a beautiful result.

Don’t stay status quo. It will take real effort for change to last and for happiness to prevail. The old you will want to stay status quo, but the new you will plow through doubt and frustration.

If you give up the enemy wins. Everything in your head will be discomfort. It passes with time, and your life can be happy. You must decide, and you have to do it. Don’t listen to Nay-Sayers.

This is in no particular order.

Here is a list of 5 things you can start today to change your life now:

  1. Breathe, yes that’s right just breathe. A couple of times per day, stop get quiet and breath in through your nose and out of your mouth. Deep relaxing breaths. A couple of minutes is all it takes.
  2. Taking time to relax and meditate. I’m not talking about changing what I am suggesting is relax and focus on nothing. Clear your head! There is a reason meditation is called a meditation practice. It takes time to learn, but it’s super easy. You can find meditation music on YouTube® (use headphones). Find a place where you can relax and learn to meditate.
  3. Get off your butt and walk. Walking relieves stress and will help you clear your mind. Breathe in the fresh air and soak up some sunshine.
  4. Do something beautiful for someone for no reason. Make a difference in someone’s life. Leave a huge tip, give to a food bank, deliver to a church, volunteer at an animal shelter, just to do something to be a change in the world. Without expectation!
  5. If your workspace is a mess if your house is a mess. Clean it up! The state of your home or office chances are is the state of your mind. Declutter your life. If you struggle just do one room at a time. Take small steps, but step!

Life struggles can be debilitating. Curling up in bed, being a hermit at home, blowing off friends and family. Today is the day that all STOPS. Take one thing on this list and do it RIGHT NOW!

Overthinking kills. It’s easy to say we don’t have time, don’t have money, don’t know how. Hell, we all suffer the same. Don’t worry about how to look towards the result. The how will come! Take the first step right now. If you don’t then expect the same crappy result, you’ve been getting. This is about change get off your ass and do one small thing right now. Go!

Remember that change comes to those willing to fight through old paradigms. Your head will jack with you hard. What you think is the voice in your head saying “you can’t” (the enemy will deceive you) this is where you get out of your head and open your heart. Breathing, meditation and prayer will all help you live from your soul.

Hope will open life in new surprising ways. Get out of your head and into your heart (I think that’s a song lyric). Don’t worry about how to, worry about the result. This must become your life’s mantra.

Lasting change comes with the first step. So, take the first step right now and begin the journey.

God bless you; I pray that you find peace and prosperity in your life. I believe you have the power to change your life to be anything you envision it to be. Stay in faith!

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